The Traditional Marriage Age

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Tsar
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Post by Tsar »

Hero wrote:
Tsar wrote:if she 'french kissed' even a boyfriend that is unacceptable. 'French kissing' is not acceptable to Mormons so obviously I'm not the only one that deems that unacceptable for a potential and suitable bride. Purity is more than just being a virgin.
LOL you're using Mormon beliefs to vindicate yourself? Let me remind you that these are the people who once said that polygamy is OK. Check out some of their other bizarre beliefs.

IMO, if a girl won't "French kiss" me by the third date, either she's not serious about me or she's sexually frigid. What a nightmare it would be if that kind of prudish behavior continued after marriage!
I don't see it as being prudish or sexually frigid. I see it as the girl cares about the man she will marry and gift him a special gift. The only thing that matters is that she is willing to learn what her man likes. A whore can please any man, a princess will please her One (and Only) man.

The Mormons actually have the best marriages in all America. No other Christian group in America has as good of rates. Not the Catholics or the Protestants of America have good marriage rates anymore. Mormons marry Mormons if they want to remain a Mormon and get married in the Temple, which in simple terms means they are marrying someone with similar values and both are following the same religion, so statistically it works out that they will have a better success. Mormons must marry as virgins and "no french kisses" is a rule if they want to be married in the Temple. So out of all the religions in America, Mormonism is the most successful religious indicator in terms of purity in America and successful marriages in America. Many Mormons do get married and find their husbands in college. Mormon colleges have expelled students or discipline students for fornication. This is some examples about why this group in America statistically has more success and happiness in America compared to other Americans.

I said before that I will not ever consider being with any Western girl. It's foreign-only for me.

A princess can only have one prince. An emperor can have a queen and many concubines.
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publicduende
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Re: The Traditional Marriage Age

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droid wrote:If it's a lady somewhat even close to being marriage material, she will try not to bring those up. But the concept of marriage-worthiness has changed of course...
As far as her knowing what I've done, she can ask and I will tell. But I won't ask nor listen much, sorry.
Yes dude, a couple of things have changed since the early XX century. Having one or more failed relationship isn't exactly something to boast about, but it's not something to be ashamed of, either. I would be more suspicious of a woman who vehemently denies ever being involved with anyone before just to please you ears (cfr. prototype of average Filipina scammer), than somebody who doesn't hide anything and, under the right circumstances, will bring up the occasional story or anecdote.
droid wrote:Again, you are too comfortable with all that...
It's not about the 'breakup having been nasty', you're copping out. It's about the other dude having cre*med inside her. Excuse the bluntness, but that's what it is about.
LOL that's funny. I thought you were a bit more on the realistic side of things when you mentioned the difference between 'theory' and 'practice'. When you eat your pasta bolognese or steak at a restaurant, do you get all grossed out because of the hundreds of customers whose spit and mucus were deposited on the dish and cutlery before you?

As I said many times before, I believe this virginal purity thing is a fetish, in a time and society where 8 years olds are exposed to hardcore porn and sold miniskirts, cosmetics and you lap dance kits. One more shot of that all-American hypocrisy, please.
droid wrote:Actually, it's not about balance, it's precisely about you being the man, not an "equal" partner.
So the woman is the inferior partner? Mate, have you picked up your morning newspaper recently and checked the date. It says 16 March 2014.
publicduende wrote:This "honour" matter sounds a little naive to me, sorry. If I hooked up with a new girl, I would spend the overwhelming majority of my time understanding how she fits with me, rather than worrying how she fitted with her exes or how much better or worse I am compared to them.
droid wrote:Not trying to be insulting, but maybe you don't have any (left)?
Maybe so, but what's the point with conforming with an insanely strict and outdated idea of "honor" while the world spins in its own ways and all you are left with is misery, social isolation and a canyon-sized rift between your fantasies and your reality?

droid wrote:To each their own, but I'm just putting this in the context of HA, where we search for what's "best" out there, and not settling for the 'blue pill' paradigms of 'equality', etc.
So keep on searching, my dear basement Indiana Jones of the dating world. I would suggest you actually move your asses and learn to compromise and respect "the rest of us" for the imperfect entities in an imperfect world we are, instead of ruminating of how the world could be if you were god.
Tsar
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Re: The Traditional Marriage Age

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publicduende
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Re: The Traditional Marriage Age

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Tsar wrote:The cutlery and dish are washed. They are inanimate objects. They can be sanitized. Comparing objects to a living person are comparing two completely different things. A woman loses her purity and also her virginity is lose the moment she does any sexual act with a man. The memories also remain. Purity is spiritual, physical, and metaphysical. Virginity is part of the soul, the body, the heart, and the mind (memories). Also, I be sure to inspect the cutlery and I would have the restaurant being me new cutlery if I found even one tiny crumb that didn't get removed in the wash. Cutlery is sanitized with chemicals and boiling water.
You keep talking by ideals and philosophical speculation. Droid didn't mention a major trauma like being raped or tortured, he was referring to a sexual act, like the girls (and the boys!) of our times are used to since they're 14 or 15. Purity might be a desirable moral, spiritual, psychological state. Yet, having had sex a few times before falling in love with a guy who actually is a pretty good match and choosing to settle isn't really that big a deal anymore.

You need to open up to the idea of loving an imperfect being, because nobody is perfect, and in the society we live in you won't find anybody who gets even remotely close to your ideal of purity and innocence.
Tsar wrote:How can the acceptance of what was regarded as a common whore be considered normal?
Exactly. Was regarded as a common whore. For centuries girls who weren't virgin at marriage were considered disgraced, while it was quite normal for boys and young men to join brothels and gain experience there. The same societies also condoned extreme levels of social inequality and things like slavery and child labour, which often led to child prostitution.

While I am not saying this society is all roses, this is the place and environment where you and I live. Willing or nilling. Unless you want to devote your life to fight and campaign so that teenagers don't have to be exposed to corrupting material and be compelled towards premarital sex, yours will remain sterile wishful thinking, borne in a basement and died soon after.
Tsar wrote:If most of the world decided they were going to engage in mass suicide, would you join them just to "fit in" and be considered normal? Or would you reject that and save yourself because you recognize that suicide is insanity? Well, accepting a whore just because the majority of people claim it is acceptable is akin to committing suicide.
That's a gross exaggeration dude, what are you talking about? If by "whore" you mean whatever girl who has had some sexual activity before meeting you, you can be sure the human race will be extinct before you can find your specimen of pure young woman :)
Tsar wrote:So right there you are saying just because children are exposed to immorality and brainwashed, that it means that everyone should accept that promiscuity is natural and harlotry is normal? It is not normal. If the parents were better they would not allow such things to occur. If corruption is allowed to thrive unchecked, it multiples at an exponential rate. It's like a rot that quickly spreads, infecting others and rapidly decaying all of civilization. There will be few that will be immune or beat the virus of corruption and then, the insane masses will label that sane individual insane.
If, if, if... The world isn't what we want. It's what it is. And you have 3 choices:

1) adapt and be contented with whatever compromise you manage to find,
2) try to maximise your chances to find your dating Shangri-La by starting to live in a society where those values are still held and exercised, at the cost of a near disconnect from modern civilisation and near fatal socio-cultural barriers, or
3) live a miserable life farther and farther removed from reality, where your alienation won't even allow potentially good women to notice you if they wanted to, and where your dreams could rot into something dark and potentially unethical, when not illegal.
Tsar wrote:When the insane are the majority and the sane make up a minority, then the sane are the ones labeled insane. Should the sane minority abandon their sanity and join the insane majority? Should the people who still embrace light forsake the light and join the forces of darkness? Virtue is considered wrong, while immorality is considered righteous in this world of sin.
Dude, are you a preacher or something? I have never said "virtue is wrong". Just advising you to stop seeing all in black and white and learn to find some balance and solace in one of the many gray spots available. I have read Vonnegut and love the Krishnamurti quote. Yet, beyond the world of the ideal states and the good intentions, there lies an ocean of complexity and middle measures called life.
Tsar wrote:A near-perfect would is possible. The only reason that makes it an impossibility is because democracy destroys unity and cynics or self-serving selfish individuals hold power instead of idealistic visionaries. If everyone demanded the ideal then this world would be a better place. This world is declining and experiencing many negative events because people are cynical and accept less than the ideal. It is a race to the bottom. The more people accept less the ideal, the more they are willing to abandon what little ideals remain. In the end there will be no morality and everything will be cynical. Civilization will collapse. There will be no respect without ideals. There will be chaos instead of order. So this imperfect world will become a broken world. It won't even hope to be a fraction of it's former glory.
Another false position, that of moral superiority over those who are "caught" compromising. Do you really think you're the only idealist left in the world. Do you really think you're the only 20-something young man who wanted to change the world? Learning, perhaps the hard way, that ideals don't have a long life in a real human society actually helps finding that elusive ground where one could push his claims to the limit and get not "a" compromise, but the best possible compromise for himself and those he loves.
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Post by droid »

All I'm saying is I'm the one actually compromising, you two are the ones at opposite ends of the spectrum.

Duende, don't delude yourself, you're not "compromising", you're full blue-pill, yet still try to save face. Cornfed's right.

And Tsar would rather not do anything than changing his universe-creation one bit. Or worse, become a crook to obtain it.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
Tsar
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Re: The Traditional Marriage Age

Post by Tsar »

publicduende wrote:
Tsar wrote:If most of the world decided they were going to engage in mass suicide, would you join them just to "fit in" and be considered normal? Or would you reject that and save yourself because you recognize that suicide is insanity? Well, accepting a whore just because the majority of people claim it is acceptable is akin to committing suicide.
That's a gross exaggeration dude, what are you talking about? If by "whore" you mean whatever girl who has had some sexual activity before meeting you, you can be sure the human race will be extinct before you can find your specimen of pure young woman :)
I'm not saying all men should reject those women. It's a personal choice of whether to accept them or not. The thing is that people must be repentant. A repentant whore and her husband could raise a moral child. The key thing here is that the human race must be repentant and stop immoral behavior. Accepting a repentant sinner is possible. I could accept a repentant whore as a friend. However, I could never accept a repentant whore as anything more. I want the spiritual bond of being with a princess and to feel special.

I'm not a preacher. I'm more like a charismatic and idealist visionary that has a lot of passion. I take a lot of time to read and educate myself. I believe in the metaphysical and that the soul is forever. I don't want to give myself to anyone except to the girls most deserving of my love, affection, and my heart.
http://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-virginity.html

Question: "Why is virginity so important in the Bible?"
Another link: http://www.xrysostom.com/askthepastor/columns/0103.txt
Henry VIII

Executed 1542

Henry VIII married Catherine Howard...Henry married Catherine about two weeks after Anne was out of the picture. The Howards were a powerful family in Henry's court, with influence and high standing. Catherine seemed a good fit, and it took two years for Catherine's sordid past to catch up with her.

As things so often happened at court, it started with a rumor. This one, though, was true. It seemed Catherine Howard had had lovers before Henry. The king didn't know this when he married her, and he was humiliated when the truth came out. To make matters worse, the queen had appointed one of her pre-marital lovers to be her secretary. Rumor had it the affair continued after her marriage to the king.

The adultery aspect of the charge was never proven, but it didn't matter. Upon learning that he had married a nonvirgin, Henry had Parliament pass an act declaring it treasonous for an unchaste woman to marry the king. Catherine Howard was promptly beheaded for treason.

http://history.howstuffworks.com/histor ... utions.htm
Marrying an unchaste woman is humiliating whether the man is a king or a common gentleman. Some men might not see it as humiliating but to quote Erasmus of Rotterdam "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king." So even those that are blind to the truth will not able to escape truth.
"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" is a philosophical thought experiment that raises questions regarding observation and knowledge of reality.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If_a_tree_ ... n_a_forest
Yes, the tree will make a sound. Even if no one is there to hear the sound, there will undeniably be a sound when the tree falls.
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Cornfed
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Post by Cornfed »

An idea for finding a suitable non-slut wife might be to put yourself in a position where you would be exposed to a lot of young females, such as teaching English at a public middle school in the appropriate country. Having selected your prospective wife from out of the hundreds of options you could then get to know her family, court and mate-guard her and then as soon as she is old enough marry her and get her pregnant.

On the subject of marrying whores, even if the whore regrets her whorishness, she would still be irrevocably damaged as far as marriage is concerned. Young non-whore females are known to form a life-long bond with the first man who impregnates them. Whores and older females lose this ability. Obviously the sex act will be less of a bonding experience for whores who have done it many times before. Moreover, if like your typical Western skank the whore has been the subject of just about every conceivable sex act by teams of dirtbags, you are never going to sexually impress her. It would be like trying to win a game of football as a one-man team.
Tsar
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Post by Tsar »

Cornfed wrote:An idea for finding a suitable non-slut wife might be to put yourself in a position where you would be exposed to a lot of young females, such as teaching English at a public middle school in the appropriate country. Having selected your prospective wife from out of the hundreds of options you could then get to know her family, court and mate-guard her and then as soon as she is old enough marry her and get her pregnant.
That is similar to how some types of arranged marriages would work. A man would have ties with some families and then select one suitable match.

Some Chinese families are actually buying a girl that they will raise to marry their son. The son and that girl grow up together knowing there will be an arranged marriage. Is that to be considered ethical? No. That is a "morally questionable" solution to a legitimate relationship issue but regardless, it answers their question as to whether or not their son will have a bride (and it almost guarantees that their son will have a virgin bride).
http://henrymakow.com/2013/03/Adopt-Dau ... y-Son.html

Chinese Will Adopt Daughter to Marry Son
When a person wants to catch a fish, a person doesn't wait for the fish to come to them, the person must go to the water and catch the fish. So if I wanted to catch a fish I would go to the water and catch the fish.

Doug Hutchinson married Courtney Stodden (age 16) after getting to know her family and getting her family's blessing. Obviously because she was an American/Western girl she didn't value commitment to her relationship.

It's mainly foreign girls that would value a relationship and have strong commitment to their first man.
Cornfed wrote:On the subject of marrying whores, even if the whore regrets her whorishness, she would still be irrevocably damaged as far as marriage is concerned.
Exactly what I believe. Even if she regrets her past and is repentant, she would still be irrevocably damaged.
Cornfed wrote:Young non-whore females are known to form a life-long bond with the first man who impregnates them.
Another accurate point. It's scientifically and statistically proven.
Cornfed wrote:Whores and older females lose this ability. Obviously the sex act will be less of a bonding experience for whores who have done it many times before. Moreover, if like your typical Western skank the whore has been the subject of just about every conceivable sex act by teams of dirtbags, you are never going to sexually impress her. It would be like trying to win a game of football as a one-man team.
Yes, most Western skanks are no different than porn stars. How could such a woman value a relationship with any man? A whore can't bond with a man.
http://www.themercury.com.au/article/20 ... style.html

YOUNG women are becoming more promiscuous, with more sexual partners than men.

By the age of 21 they have had sex with an average of nine lovers - two more than their male partner.

And a quarter of young women have slept with more than 10 partners in the five years since losing their virginity - compared with a fifth of young men.

Young women are also twice as likely to be unfaithful, with 50 per cent admitting they have cheated on a partner - half at least twice.
Yet if their man was caught being unfaithful, 99 per cent of the 2,000 women surveyed said they would show him the door.

The survey found more than half of the women were not in love with the person to whom they lost their virginity.

And only 32 per cent believed love to be an important factor before having sex. Seven out of ten confessed to having had a one-night stand and a fifth had enjoyed more than five.

Only 1 per cent said they would wait until marriage to have sex.

One in four said they would marry for money whilst 39 per cent would sleep with their boss for a promotion. And 27 per cent would have an affair with a married man, while 14 per cent would sleep with their best friend's partner.
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publicduende
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Post by publicduende »

droid wrote:All I'm saying is I'm the one actually compromising, you two are the ones at opposite ends of the spectrum.

Duende, don't delude yourself, you're not "compromising", you're full blue-pill, yet still try to save face. Cornfed's right.

And Tsar would rather not do anything than changing his universe-creation one bit. Or worse, become a crook to obtain it.
And how exactly are you "compromising", if you still maintain such strict rules on how she should be and should behave?

Look. you can be as "red pill" as you like in your mind, but if all you do is post your rants here while remaining miserable and socially disconnected, you're not doing yourself and your life any favour.

Your last statement being exactly my point. You're not that different from Tsar, just more arrogant.
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publicduende
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Re: The Traditional Marriage Age

Post by publicduende »

Tsar wrote:I'm not a preacher. I'm more like a charismatic and idealist visionary that has a lot of passion. I take a lot of time to read and educate myself. I believe in the metaphysical and that the soul is forever. I don't want to give myself to anyone except to the girls most deserving of my love, affection, and my heart.
"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" is a philosophical thought experiment that raises questions regarding observation and knowledge of reality.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If_a_tree_ ... n_a_forest
Yes, the tree will make a sound. Even if no one is there to hear the sound, there will undeniably be a sound when the tree falls.
Repentant whore...chastity and the Bible...zen philosophy... Dude, for one last time, there is no place for your world view in modern society. You either accept it or increase your levels of disconnect and social ineptitude to the point that you will use your pseudo-intellectual arguments on religion and morals to justify actions that will easily give you a criminal record and brand your life forever. If that's where your "quest for purity" is leading you, be my guest.
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Post by Hero »

One more thing about Mormons: Just because they officially prohibit French kissing, do you really think that all Mormons obey that rule? I mean, all Christian religions forbid premarital sex, but I can tell you that practically all "Christians" completely that rule.
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Post by Jester »

publicduende wrote:
Tsar wrote:
I am not projecting my dream into US or Western society. I wouldn't ever want to be with any Western girl even if she was both a perfect 10/10 and the last girl on the planet. It's foreign-girls-only for me. I'm mainly attracted to the Eastern European women.
I was putting Eastern European women into the same camp as Western. You may end up in some remote countryside village of one of the -stans to find a girl who stands the kind of requirements you have. And even that window of opportunity is closing fast. And even if successful, the language/culture barrier would be immense. You're certainly not maximising your chances. To reiterate: much better for you to open up to the ways of the world and compromise. That, or you will end up alone for life....
"Compromise, or else!"

A bit severe in our pronouncements, aren't we?

Quite the totalitarian when it comes to preaching open-mindedness, it seems.

If Tsar DOES manage to visit villages around Kazan, or Bishkek, he will RULE. There is no shortage of old-fashioned "family girls". By dating young he will find his virgin easily. Because all girls start off that way!

Cultural gap? Hardly. He's an Orthodox Christian, they will eat that up over there. Parents, aunties etc will love him.

OTOH, if he takes his bride from the local convenience store, he WILL have a culture gap. Even if he's not worried about her past, what is going to happen when her foul-mouthed friends come over? What is going to happen when he forbids her daughter to go out on dates? Is his modern wife going to be down with that?

Public, you are just like some tribal chieftain or clan leader forcing a young girl into a marriage with someone she finds repulsive. You are pushing him to violate his integrity. Disappointing.

Yeah, like many guys here, he needs to chill, exercise the right brain, learn a language, learn to danc or sing or play a sport or otherwise be attractive to women (like King David).

But he DOES need to select a bride HE will cherish. For his sake, for HER sake, for THE CHILDREN'S sake.

The FSU is his oyster. And NO the window is NOT closing.
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Post by droid »

publicduende wrote:And how exactly are you "compromising", if you still maintain such strict rules on how she should be and should behave?

Look. you can be as "red pill" as you like in your mind, but if all you do is post your rants here while remaining miserable and socially disconnected, you're not doing yourself and your life any favour.

Your last statement being exactly my point. You're not that different from Tsar, just more arrogant.
You have to make stuff up duende, including queer ad-hominems, so you can have the last word.
But again, you only delude yourself; anyone can read the thread above and my other posts.

Your position is respectable and all, I enjoy your posts in general. But what I find unacceptable is trying to pass your level of c*ckoldry as HA, when there are "blind" guys here looking for info/advice.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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publicduende
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Post by publicduende »

Jester wrote:"Compromise, or else!"

A bit severe in our pronouncements, aren't we?

Quite the totalitarian when it comes to preaching open-mindedness, it seems.

If Tsar DOES manage to visit villages around Kazan, or Bishkek, he will RULE. There is no shortage of old-fashioned "family girls". By dating young he will find his virgin easily. Because all girls start off that way!

Cultural gap? Hardly. He's an Orthodox Christian, they will eat that up over there. Parents, aunties etc will love him.
Hm, don't think I preached totalitarianism to Tsar when I started my first reply to him saying I respect his good intentions. I actually said exactly what you repeated below: he could go rural in one of the -stans (or Georgia, or even Slovakia), knock a few doors and ask one of those traditional families to marry their daughters. Not sure where you're disagreeing or being disappointed about here.

Of course a girl found like that will have more in common with his ideas than the average US female college student. The cultural gap I was referring to is the difference in language and habits. If it is there between an American and a Filipina, I can only imagine where it stretches between an American and a Tatar. About "dating young", of course the obvious question is "how young". I have my opinion, but let's not add polemic fuel into the fire.
Jester wrote:OTOH, if he takes his bride from the local convenience store, he WILL have a culture gap. Even if he's not worried about her past, what is going to happen when her foul-mouthed friends come over? What is going to happen when he forbids her daughter to go out on dates? Is his modern wife going to be down with that?

Public, you are just like some tribal chieftain or clan leader forcing a young girl into a marriage with someone she finds repulsive. You are pushing him to violate his integrity. Disappointing.
So much of the discourse on this forum is predicated on the alleged virtues of foreign women and utter contempt towards the ladies of the "Western bloc". Reality ain't that black and white, Jester, as someone of your age and wisdom should know. There are lots of young women who can be great girlfriends, wives and mothers, and one doesn't necessarily have to venture into the deep ex-Soviet province to find one. They are getting harder to find, yes. And they're even harder to find without developing proper social skills, which inevitably boils down to opening up and going out, socialising and exploring the world and its complexity. And relax one's world view and strict requirements to the extent where that person and the world around him can live together without too much tension and friction.

I may well applaud Tsar's "integrity" as you do, and I did in my first post on the thread. My alarm bells started to ring when he mentioned that he may be prepared to do something dark and potentially illegal just to stand on his principles. That made me wonder whether his moral grounding and purity aren't just pretexts to legitimise not only his social ineptitude, but his fears or plain laziness in not wanting to develop himself in society.

Taking shortcuts to find solace or a solution for one's dating & mating life is acceptable, in fact it's a large part of what this website is about. Avoiding to face or even just understand modern society and its rules, by touting moral superiority no less, I don't find it that charming an argument.

Jester wrote:Yeah, like many guys here, he needs to chill, exercise the right brain, learn a language, learn to dance or sing or play a sport or otherwise be attractive to women (like King David).

But he DOES need to select a bride HE will cherish. For his sake, for HER sake, for THE CHILDREN'S sake.

The FSU is his oyster. And NO the window is NOT closing.
Exactly. Learn to live in the environment he was born into or has, willing or nilling, chosen to live in.
Last edited by publicduende on March 18th, 2014, 2:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
polya
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Re: The Traditional Marriage Age

Post by polya »

Tsar wrote:
The Russian tradition, according to which a young woman had to get married as early as possible traces its roots to the distant past. In the ancient Rus', a fifteen year-old girl was considered to be mature enough for adult life and giving birth to children. Marriages were arranged and were a matter of practicality with the emphasis not being on romance. Such views on life preserved in Russia until the end of the twentieth century when marriages at the age of 18-20 were still common.

http://masterrussian.com/russianculture ... family.htm
...............................
Well, in modern times when there is fornication and romantic decadence that corrupts women, that is wrong. I will live according to the standards of 1500-1800. I reject the liberal and progressive laws. I am in the right and I am ultra-conservative with societal values.
OK, so your woman has to be a virgin, but you aren't and you even screw married older women? Right, I see how hard it's to live up to the ideal.
"Woman is a violent and uncontrolled animal... If you allow them to achieve complete equality with men, do you think they will be easier to live with? Not at all. Once they have achieved equality, they will be your masters." Cato the Elder
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