HAers vs. Mainstream Americans: Core Differences

[Winston]

While observing people today, I realized why we don't fit in with mainstream America. Here are probably the key differences between us, the HappierAbroaders, and mainstream Americans.

1. Mainstream Americans thrive on routine and familiarity. They aren't comfortable with strangers, and only talk to strangers when its business related. That's why they are cliquish. They live for a stable work routine and a familiar group of friends and family. They prefer routine and familiarity.

We, on the other hand, thrive on novelty, new experiences, adventure, and the exotic. We enjoy meeting new people and thrive on it. We are more comfortable with unfamiliarity and more open minded. But that's not how mainstream Americans are.

2. Mainstream Americans live to work, literally. Work makes them happy. Having a job is fulfilling to them. This is what they are conditioned to believe, and they follow it. But we do not live to work. We see it as slavery and a barrier to freedom.

3. We deem things like love, dating, beautiful girls, flirtation, being able to pick up girls and chat them up, being able to get sex anytime we want, etc. as mandatory necessities. But mainstream Americans don't. They see those things as sentimental stuff in movies and TV and not part of practical life. And they view them as extras.

Their attitude is: If it happens great, if not, then it's not meant to be yet. The most important thing to them is that they have a JOB to go to everyday that they are happy with. Work is all that matters. Everything else is optional. (Personally, I've never understood how one can be happy only having a job and nothing else. But that's what America preaches for some odd reason, and you are expected to think the same way.)

They also believe that once you get married and settled down, all these things become non-issues anyway. Everything revolves around the stability and routine of work and family. Adventure and exploration, new experiences, meeting new people, dating new women, going to new places, etc. are dreams and fantasies to them, not necessities.

These core differences in mentality means that we have a different vibe and wavelength than the mainstream. This means that we cannot relate to them and they cannot relate to us.

Plus, in America you have to join a group or clique to meet people. You gotta have a good social network, in other words. People in America are more comfortable meeting you if you are part of a couple or in a group, but not if you're alone. This is why couples make friends with other couples easier than singles do. When you are a couple, people seem more friendly and talkative to both of you when you go out. But when you're alone, they ignore you. Even waiters at restaurants prefer to talk to couples rather than customers sitting alone. I've noticed this pattern.

In most other countries, it is far easier to meet people by yourself. People are cool with that for some reason. I don't know why. But the big difference is there.

Anyway, since we are nonconformists, we are unlikely to be part of any group in the mainstream. So we are left out and trapped with no options.

What do you think? Does that make sense?

[Taco]

Most HAer's want to know what the truth is and most people in mainstream society don't want to know what the truth is.

[Winston]

Yeah I guess that would be a fourth difference. However, I don't think anyone consciously believes that they are following lies. They have to convince themselves that they are following the truth somehow, even if it has to be by self-delusion. Perhaps mainstream people believe that truth is only what is told by mainstream media. They are only interested in superficial truth, not deeper truth.

[Jester]

If I could find a place with no NWO minions, no feminism, no Satanic pop culture, no chemtrails, and no GMO's, and a girl to love me, I would become a conformist so fast it would make your eyes hurt.

But I don't have any of that. Thus I remain free to roam around and make trouble.

I'm not a truth-seeker because I wanted to be. That's the hand I was dealt.

[Winston]

OTB,
Doesn't this quote explain why we experience social disconnection in America and mainstream Americans don't (or suppress)?

"The sick individual finds himself at home with all other similarly sick individuals. The whole culture is geared to this kind of pathology. The result is that the average individual does not experience the separateness and isolation the fully schizophrenic person feels. He feels at ease among those who suffer from the same deformation; in fact, it is the fully sane person who feels isolated in the insane society - and he may suffer so much from the incapacity to communicate that it is he who may become psychotic." - Eric Fromm, Swiss Psychologist (The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness)

So if we are on a different vibe/wavelength, then we will feel the separateness and isolation that mainstream Americans don't feel?

[Winston]

I just realized something. I think I've found the answer to a long-time mystery I've always wondered about:

Why is it that I can be very outgoing and social in America, yet not make any good friends or have a great social life?

You see, there is an underlying assumption that if you are outgoing and social, then you will make friends everywhere you go in America. In high school and college, I began to imitate the characters on TV sitcoms, but that didn't get me any dates with American girls or create a great social life.

Anyway, I think I realized the reason for this. I (and many of you here) are on a different wavelength than that of normal mainstream Americans. Typical Americans (especially AW) are more on a superficial/fake/artificial wavelength that is composed of the following characteristics:

- superficial
- fake
- artificial
- soulless
- robotic, mechanized (programmed by the elite)
- focused on money, business, status
- no sense of romanticism, considers romance to be outdated in a cold modern unfeeling world
- paranoid and uptight toward strangers
- lives for consumerism, like they are supposed to in accord with their programming
- cliquish, social to their clique members but not toward strangers
- conformist, willing to adapt to a toxic, soulless culture if everyone else does
- afraid of what others think, fear of being different
- attuned to the practical, not the abstract or philosophical

In contrast, I'm more on a deep/authentic wavelength with the following traits:

- deep
- authentic, genuine
- soulful
- romantic, lives for romanticism in culture and life
- direct, honest, no-nonsense
- rich inner life
- desires to connect and develop social relations
- thinks for himself, does not need to conform
- not afraid of what others think
- not cliquish, open with strangers
- attuned to the abstract and philosophical rather than the practical, existentialist type

Many of us here have the above traits I'm sure.

This also explains why when I am outgoing in Russia, it gets results and fits in the flow. Because the average Russian is on a more deeper/authentic wavelength than the average American. So it's easier for me to talk to them and vibe with them, even though we are from different cultures. See what I mean?

So this explains why I can be outgoing and social in America yet not connect with others or have a good social life. Or get dates for that matter. What do you think?

A second rift:

In addition, there is also a second rift between me and mainstream Americans, as well as many guys on this forum as well.

You see, most guys are focused on the practical areas of life. Some guys are into both practical and abstract areas, but most are left-brained practical. I'm different. I'm more heavily focused on abstract, philosophical areas, which is how a true intellectual is. In fact, I would say that I am very far toward the abstract world that most people are not in.

This is why even on my own forum, many guys cannot relate to me or understand me. Mr S even told me that there are many guys who agree with my message on HA but do not vibe with me personally, or have bad chemistry with me (e.g. AmericaninBangkok, CheeseRaider, etc.) I think he's right. And this explains why, at least partially.

Mr S is one of the few guys I know who is heavily into abstract subjects who can talk to me on that wavelength. Mitchell is another guy that relates to me on a deeper level. But most guys can't or don't.

So in this area, there is a second rift between me and most Americans (who are focused on the practical) and even between me and many of the forum members here who agree with my message. Any of you notice that?

Thus there are at least two major rifts between me and mainstream Americans. Does that make sense? I think it does.

[Winston]

More thoughts:

I think the problem goes deeper than just about people being friendly vs. unfriendly. The problem with us HA types is multi-faceted. Allow me to elaborate.

1. We are introverts. Introverts don't fit well into groups and cliques, which is unfortunate because in America, cliques are EVERYTHING in social culture. If you aren't in one, you don't have a social life, because social life is all about cliques. Extroverts are better at fitting into cliques because they seek their identity in groups and have no identity without them.
2. We aren't politically correct and we hold unpopular views and beliefs. To join a clique, you have to say and do things that are POPULAR of course, not unpopular. Otherwise, people will be turned off and cliques will reject us. Getting along in groups requires political correctness, positivity, and superficial lighthearted conversations. But we are too focused on negative truths for that.
3. We are nonconformists, freethinkers and contrarians. Thus we are inclined toward being different from the mainstream and we cherish freedom of thought and expression. This makes it harder for us to fit into groups, because groups are composed of conformists. For a nonconformist to try to fit in a group is sort of an oxymoron.
4. We aren't cool and we are not trying to be cool. To us, being real and honest and being able to express ourselves freely is more important. So we shun trying to "act cool" because it seems so fake. We care more about freedom of mind and expression than in what others think of us. We care more about truth than image. That makes us look strange and abnormal to most people.
5. As a result of how much we've suffered in America, we've become very negative, jaded and resentful. We've had so much loneliness, alienation and psychological persecution in America. It turns us into negative people, which repels most people. Mainstream people work hard to stay positive and optimistic. They have to constantly infuse their minds with positive thoughts and affirmations in order to cope with life. So to them, hearing our negative truths undermines their efforts to "stay positive".

All the above make it VERY HARD for us to fit into cliques, and without fitting into cliques, we have no social life. In America, to meet people, you have to be in a group to be trusted, because loners are creepy. So to make friends, you have to already have friends and be in a clique. Cliques can make friends with other cliques, because groups are everything in social culture, whereas individuals are nothing. So much for American individualism. lol

However, it is taboo to say that "people are unfriendly or antisocial or closed". You aren't allowed to say that. There is an unspoken rule that you have to say people are "friendly and wonderful" everywhere you go. If you are lonely or have no friends or social life, you are only allowed to say one of the following:

1. I am not a friendly or social person.
2. I am shy and afraid to go out and talk to people.
3. I enjoy being alone rather than with others.
4. I don't have time to meet people because I work too much.
5. I don't have opportunities to meet people because I don't get out much.

All the above involve blaming yourself, therefore they are politically correct statements. But saying that people are not open or friendly or sociable, or that there's no social connection, etc is taboo and goes against the grain. You are expected to assume that people are friendly and sociable everywhere, and that it's easy to meet people and make friends. That may not be true, but you are SUPPOSED to assume that. It's a default supposition, and you are not supposed to argue against it or say that's untrue. Is that weird or what?

So what do you think? Does all that make sense? Anyone have more to add to the above?

[Banano]

Winston you hit da nail on da head, you must be one of the best Asian philosophers that ever lived, actually i never heard of any other Asian philosophers

How bout you start writing books, I mean PROPER books on subjects we discuss on this forum. Your observations and ideas about modern society are insightful but they will get buried with all other useless posts on this forum.
Another thing i would suggest you do is get more exposure to mainstream media, RT TV is a good start, they will love your points of view and thats opportunity to advertize yourself and books, you will become instant celebrity in Russia. Think of all the benefits, American women will hate you even more but Russians women would be creaming their panties

[starchild5]

More thoughts:

I think the problem goes deeper than just about people being friendly vs. unfriendly. The problem with us HA types is multi-faceted. Allow me to elaborate.

1. We are introverts. Introverts don't fit well into groups and cliques, which is unfortunate because in America, cliques are EVERYTHING in social culture. If you aren't in one, you don't have a social life, because social life is all about cliques. Extroverts are better at fitting into cliques because they seek their identity in groups and have no identity without them.
2. We aren't politically correct and we hold unpopular views and beliefs. To join a clique, you have to say and do things that are POPULAR of course, not unpopular. Otherwise, people will be turned off and cliques will reject us. Getting along in groups requires political correctness, positivity, and superficial lighthearted conversations. But we are too focused on negative truths for that.
3. We are nonconformists, freethinkers and contrarians. Thus we are inclined toward being different from the mainstream and we cherish freedom of thought and expression. This makes it harder for us to fit into groups, because groups are composed of conformists. For a nonconformist to try to fit in a group is sort of an oxymoron.
4. We aren't cool and we are not trying to be cool. To us, being real and honest and being able to express ourselves freely is more important. So we shun trying to "act cool" because it seems so fake. We care more about freedom of mind and expression than in what others think of us. We care more about truth than image. That makes us look strange and abnormal to most people.
5. As a result of how much we've suffered in America, we've become very negative, jaded and resentful. We've had so much loneliness, alienation and psychological persecution in America. It turns us into negative people, which repels most people. Mainstream people work hard to stay positive and optimistic. They have to constantly infuse their minds with positive thoughts and affirmations in order to cope with life. So to them, hearing our negative truths undermines their efforts to "stay positive".

All the above make it VERY HARD for us to fit into cliques, and without fitting into cliques, we have no social life. In America, to meet people, you have to be in a group to be trusted, because loners are creepy. So to make friends, you have to already have friends and be in a clique. Cliques can make friends with other cliques, because groups are everything in social culture, whereas individuals are nothing. So much for American individualism. lol

However, it is taboo to say that "people are unfriendly or antisocial or closed". You aren't allowed to say that. There is an unspoken rule that you have to say people are "friendly and wonderful" everywhere you go. If you are lonely or have no friends or social life, you are only allowed to say one of the following:

1. I am not a friendly or social person.
2. I am shy and afraid to go out and talk to people.
3. I enjoy being alone rather than with others.
4. I don't have time to meet people because I work too much.
5. I don't have opportunities to meet people because I don't get out much.

All the above involve blaming yourself, therefore they are politically correct statements. But saying that people are not open or friendly or sociable, or that there's no social connection, etc is taboo and goes against the grain. You are expected to assume that people are friendly and sociable everywhere, and that it's easy to meet people and make friends. That may not be true, but you are SUPPOSED to assume that. It's a default supposition, and you are not supposed to argue against it or say that's untrue. Is that weird or what?

So what do you think? Does all that make sense? Anyone have more to add to the above?

I think this would be true in almost all countries for free thinkers. I had gone through similar experiences in India, however, America is lot more intense..

One thing that stands out in India is. Its very freaking RIGID....You are not allowed to even come down to Point 5. You have to do it what they tell you ...Join them or be dead...There are no options but suicide.

Marriage and Kids and taking care of family and relatives will take 99% of your productive life Plus 9 to 5 slavery called job....

Its like 10,000 years of BS called "culture" shoveled down to your throat

Main Stream Indians = Main Stream Americans.....All Lame Stream looks same...

[Wolfeye]

Winston: You forget the idea that someone isn't necessarily willing to put up with their bullshit as a factor. It seems a lot of people here are against someone they can't easily push around.

[droid]

1. We are introverts. Introverts don't fit well into groups and cliques, which is unfortunate because in America, cliques are EVERYTHING in social culture. If you aren't in one, you don't have a social life, because social life is all about cliques. Extroverts are better at fitting into cliques because they seek their identity in groups and have no identity without them.

I disagree. In my particular case, I'm not that much of an introvert, I don't bullshit around but I enjoy social life, laughing with a group of friends over some drinks and so on. But this takes the right crowd of course, as we know. Obviously if you have to deal with a bunch of pretentious dickwads/posers...
So the definition of "introvert" is "subjective" I guess.

2. We aren't politically correct and we hold unpopular views and beliefs. To join a clique, you have to say and do things that are POPULAR of course, not unpopular. Otherwise, people will be turned off and cliques will reject us. Getting along in groups requires political correctness, positivity, and superficial lighthearted conversations. But we are too focused on negative truths for that.

3. We are nonconformists, freethinkers and contrarians. Thus we are inclined toward being different from the mainstream and we cherish freedom of thought and expression. This makes it harder for us to fit into groups, because groups are composed of conformists. For a nonconformist to try to fit in a group is sort of an oxymoron.

True, good luck saying "We fought the wrong side in wwii" or something like that.
Although just for fun, I always take the contrarian position to whatever laundry-list dogma people are discussing Lol. I have fun watching their jaws drop.

4. We aren't cool and we are not trying to be cool. To us, being real and honest and being able to express ourselves freely is more important. So we shun trying to "act cool" because it seems so fake. We care more about freedom of mind and expression than in what others think of us. We care more about truth than image. That makes us look strange and abnormal to most people.

I disagree. One has to define "cool". Current idiocracy/degeneracy makes "sleeves" and ear-lobe discs as well as being foul-mouthed "cool" . In some other times/places "cool" was using proper expressions and having some cordiality; now you get called "fag" for that Lol.

I still try to be cool, within reason, a nice watch, clean clothes, taking care of one's haircut.

5. As a result of how much we've suffered in America, we've become very negative, jaded and resentful. We've had so much loneliness, alienation and psychological persecution in America. It turns us into negative people, which repels most people. Mainstream people work hard to stay positive and optimistic. They have to constantly infuse their minds with positive thoughts and affirmations in order to cope with life. So to them, hearing our negative truths undermines their efforts to "stay positive".

True, but being negative/jaded is more pervasive on those that are not aware there's a whole other world out there. As i've posted before, all that 'asperger' diagnosing is BS. it's just a symptom itself.

[Moretorque]

1. We are introverts. Introverts don't fit well into groups and cliques, which is unfortunate because in America, cliques are EVERYTHING in social culture. If you aren't in one, you don't have a social life, because social life is all about cliques. Extroverts are better at fitting into cliques because they seek their identity in groups and have no identity without them.

I disagree. In my particular case, I'm not that much of an introvert, I don't bullshit around but I enjoy social life, laughing with a group of friends over some drinks and so on. But this takes the right crowd of course, as we know. Obviously if you have to deal with a bunch of pretentious dickwads/posers...
So the definition of "introvert" is "subjective" I guess.

2. We aren't politically correct and we hold unpopular views and beliefs. To join a clique, you have to say and do things that are POPULAR of course, not unpopular. Otherwise, people will be turned off and cliques will reject us. Getting along in groups requires political correctness, positivity, and superficial lighthearted conversations. But we are too focused on negative truths for that.

3. We are nonconformists, freethinkers and contrarians. Thus we are inclined toward being different from the mainstream and we cherish freedom of thought and expression. This makes it harder for us to fit into groups, because groups are composed of conformists. For a nonconformist to try to fit in a group is sort of an oxymoron.

True, good luck saying "We fought the wrong side in wwii" or something like that.
Although just for fun, I always take the contrarian position to whatever laundry-list dogma people are discussing Lol. I have fun watching their jaws drop.

4. We aren't cool and we are not trying to be cool. To us, being real and honest and being able to express ourselves freely is more important. So we shun trying to "act cool" because it seems so fake. We care more about freedom of mind and expression than in what others think of us. We care more about truth than image. That makes us look strange and abnormal to most people.

I disagree. One has to define "cool". Current idiocracy/degeneracy makes "sleeves" and ear-lobe discs as well as being foul-mouthed "cool" . In some other times/places "cool" was using proper expressions and having some cordiality; now you get called "fag" for that Lol.

I still try to be cool, within reason, a nice watch, clean clothes, taking care of one's haircut.

5. As a result of how much we've suffered in America, we've become very negative, jaded and resentful. We've had so much loneliness, alienation and psychological persecution in America. It turns us into negative people, which repels most people. Mainstream people work hard to stay positive and optimistic. They have to constantly infuse their minds with positive thoughts and affirmations in order to cope with life. So to them, hearing our negative truths undermines their efforts to "stay positive".

True, but being negative/jaded is more pervasive on those that are not aware there's a whole other world out there. As i've posted before, all that 'asperger' diagnosing is BS. it's just a symptom itself.

So droid I know America is bad but is it really that bad ? and I know it is getting worse.

[droid]

So droid I know America is bad but is it really that bad ? and I know it is getting worse.

It's obviously not as extreme as the movie but there are trends pointing that way. It looks especially bad if you have other places to compare to.
Where are you located?

[drealm]

American men are MGTOW, HA'ers are just international MGTOW. Not much difference.

[Ghost]

.