How to deal with a homewrecker without getting arrested

[DanielleNguyen]

Most American women when it comes to home wreckers prefer to beat the crap out of a home wrecking woman. However, what does that solve for you. So you beat up a woman....got a little revenge...but here's the question is your man back in your bed? Most likely not. I admit I have had to deal with my man having many admirers. He's a very handsome Vietnamese man. He is overly kind and most women where we are located would take advantage of that in a heart beat. So while temptation arises I do a preemptive strike so to speak.

My Ideas.

1.) I give him something new to look at. My hair naturally is a ash golden brown and I have really pretty light skin and green eyes. I usually don't wear make up. Very recently I dyed my hair a nice copper red. It really brought out my skin tone and eyes. Plus not many women can pull off a red color. Everyone seemed to love it. One of my neighbors said it actually looked hot.

2.) When he arrived from work and our son was down for a nap I decided to give him a back rub with Pina Colada heated massage oil. He really enjoyed it. However, I had a allergic reaction to the massage oil. Oh well, something we can laugh about latter.

3.) Make the home something he wants to come home too. If you have screaming kids, a messy house, and you are smoking a cigarette in a grandma gown and hair rollers, why would he want to come home to you?

4.) Bring out your features with new lingerie. Small chest, petite frame, pale skin, use a push up bra and pastel colored undies. I find pink and lavender are eye catching. Also ONLY YOUR HUSBAND SEES YOUR UNDIES......

5. FORGET GETTING YOUR MAN JEALOUS!!!!! I have seen it, never tried it. I watch women think they can get their man back by dating another man. What does that solve? He will consider it cheating....

6.) Quality time is important. At night we play a game of life or monopoly on the tablet.

7.) Don't argue. Things you say in anger can come back to haunt you latter.


Instead of dealing with a home wrecker violently I prefer to remind my husband the amazing woman he married. I mean there will always be another home wrecker lining up to take her place. Especially, where I am at. Seriously, what is with the base up here. I know my husband won't cheat as long as I remind him what he has. I Guarantee no woman could love him more than me......or his mom.

[Jester]

Got to give you a +1 for this list.

An overall attitude that those points would fit into, is to pretend that you are the mistress, trying to give him an overall experience that will make him want to freely come back.

Kind of a game you can play, without telling him.

[Wolfeye]

I'd advise the opposite on what Jester said: acting like the mistress may not be what he ants in the first place. It also might just add to any temptation that might be there (blowing the small flames into bigger ones... so to speak). I get the general idea, but it might backfire in a big way.

Your list looks good. Go with what works for him underwear-wise. Sometimes tiger-stripes or really bright colors works, sometimes not. Same with being reflective, see-though, two-toned, etc... . One thing I'd say is don't make it ALWAYS a mix- it stops "popping."

[Cornfed]

It sounds like you are just being a good wife. Good for you. Remember, a husband having occasional casual sex with whores on the side is not a big deal and likely beneficial. In fact, the very possibility has caused you to lift your game, and that is a good thing for you both.

[Taco]

Remember, a husband having occasional casual sex with whores on the side is not a big deal and likely beneficial.

I seriously doubt it.

Infidelity, will kill a marriage faster than anything else. Sex creates a pair bond between a man and a woman while cheating has the opposite effect. It doesn't matter why her husband cheated on her he shouldn't have done it. I have Filipinas teens throwing themselves at me all the time here in the Philippines and I never cheated on my wife.

I just found out my neighbors are now splitting up after both of them were cheating on each other.

[Cornfed]

I just found out my neighbors are now splitting up after both of them were cheating on each other.

We keep having to go through this. In the morality of successful societies, such as is described in the Bible, adultery consists of a married woman having sex with someone other than her husband. A married man having sex with whores on the side is normal. That is the winning formula.

[Wolfeye]

Cornfed- Cheating will bust up a marriage pretty quick. Also, didn't you have a whole post going on rape not being a big deal? How does that factor into your theories on marriage? If the guy raes his wife or some other woman it's no big deal & if he cheats on the side consensually it makes their marriage better?

[Novem]

I actually love all of your ideas. Actually, I think this is the first time I have read this kind of counter attack from the female perspective. You are actually focused on showing your man what he has as opposed to going on a crusade which will lead to an inevitable divorce.

It is a shame more American women are not like you in how they approach situations like this. That being said, home wreckers are intolerable and if you don't want to give them the beating they deserve maybe you can find a third party to give them their comeuppance.

[DanielleNguyen]

I rather not involve third parties and my HUSBAND IS NOT CHEATING. He was raised by very strict Vietnamese parents and to fail in his marriage is horrible. My list is that to help him avoid the temptation of other women. He does have many tempting him, but if I show him what he has at home then he will be all happy.

[Halwick]

DanielleNguyen, you are wise and I like the way you think. You understand the concept of taking care of him and keep him happy so he won't have any reason to stray.

I recall a book titled "The Total Woman" by Marabel Morgan written in 1970s that recommends wives to "cater to her man's special quirks, whether it be in salads, sex or sports" and "to greet their husbands at the front door wearing sexy outfits, or draped in transparent saran wrap, with nothing (but herself) underneath..."

The underlying message was: "If you don't take care of your husband, he'll find someone else who will." Most western feminist modern women back then and today don't seem to understand that concept and ignore their man. Then they wonder why he looks to other women to fulfill his needs.

[Jester]

I rather not involve third parties and my HUSBAND IS NOT CHEATING. He was raised by very strict Vietnamese parents and to fail in his marriage is horrible. My list is that to help him avoid the temptation of other women. He does have many tempting him, but if I show him what he has at home then he will be all happy.

You're quite a gal!

One thing I want to add is, it's not just what you do for him in private, It's also how you honor him and respect him when other people are around.

[DanielleNguyen]

^^ thanks. We are quite a close couple

[Wolfeye]

Danielle- I wanted to ask something: Are Filipino (or is it Filipina?) women like latinas in style? What about women from SE Asia, in general? I get that these are all different cultures, but I remember hearing about them being more involved with the Spanish & was curious. It comes off (and maybe this isn't really true) like Asians tend to be very formal & have a lot of rules about everything. I don't mean that they're robotic, but they seem somewhat regimented. It makes it hard to convey things honestly (sometimes serious things) & that makes it hard to get to know each other (particularly how someone is on serious topics).

[DanielleNguyen]

My In laws are very strict.