Got PLAYED - now what?

[Jester]

OK kinda LOL at myself now,,,

...hurt a little earlier today...

Got played by a 19 year old who was trying to make a long-term bf (beta-type) jealous...

Apparently she just needed a tall White gringo on FB to get her desired result... I guess.

No major damage done, my ego is pretty much just scar tissue anyway these days.

But back to square one.

Here's the narrative:

Decided the loneliness-while-working just could not wait till I take a bride-hunting trip to elsewhere. Decided I had to get someone in NOW. Thought I had found the ideal path to a cute little assistant/protege etc. Put out a well-thought-out flier ("annuncio") about what I needed in assistant. Posted where women would see it, like grocery store. From there got a good cook who came in twice, cleaned, all that. But also had the guts to hand it to a couple of promo girls who were handing out THEIR fliers for clubs or whatever.

One of the promo girls called the next morning and asked if she could bring a friend. Sure, the first time or two, I told her. Went to pick them up at a grocery store (noone uses addresses here). BOTH HOT. DAMN. OK, well, they want a paycheck, not you, Jester, cool your jets. But one, the more feminine one, Miss N, was clearly open to flirtation of a civilized sort. So, you know, HEY now....

She hinted that she liked to ride horses, and they rent horses on the beach. Cool -a healthy outdoors date. I said we'd make a plan sometime. (Figured I could know her better by working together a few more days, before putting on my Casanova cap.) Then a while she let me know excitedly that the Marineros baseball team would be playing. OK, I said. Let's go, and why don't we bring your little brother. She said OK, but sounded a little disappointed. I frankly like a crowd, but also I wasn't planning to stretch her out and make love on the stadium bleachers, and didnt see why I shouldnt do something nice for a kid from a very poor area (had seen their house). Anyway her pal (Miss P) reminded her she couldnt go that afternoon, something else, blah blah. The weather was nice, so I suggested a beach date for the next day. She jumped. Damn, that was easy.

Dropping them off (on my way to the gym, looks like I'll have to get in shape for these young chicks, right?), Miss P confessed that they had quit their job at the club to work for me. I hadnt put that together before. Can you imagine quitting a job to work for a guy you never met? Anyway, I felt a little awed by their faith, wanted to give them Saturday work, and told Miss P to come along the next day (which was today), because she and Miss N always did everything together.

Miss P was very grateful for kindness I'd shown, and Miss N glowed after I did my Latin Caballero intro with her mom at her house, and when I visibly winked at her saying goodbye. She looked like she would have accepted an embrazo or beso in front of mom, but I saw no reason to push it. Sneaking up her, that's what ol' Jester was doin'. Yup. Smart one, that Jester.

Hell her MOM was glowing too.

All's well, right? OK, so this morning, no show. Let it go a while. Called Miss P about 25 minutes in, then Miss N an hour later. Both phones gave some kind of rapidishspanish backtalk to the effect that they were incommunicado or out of minutes or whatever. BOTH phones. OK, I've only been flaked by a girl twice before in my life, but I DO know the signs. BUT... the chick was so hot, so sweet, and so okay with my polite "kino", and had TOLD me she didnt have a bf (when I asked). And she had clearly WANTED to go out with me (if only for some get-out-of-the-house fun). So what gives? Hmmm... sent her a FB message, "obviously there is some kind of problem, are she and Miss P OK?" Deafening silence. Hmmm. Well, Jester has seen this before. ONE parent liked me (in this case the mom), but I must have been shut down by the OTHER parent. I've been shut down like that twice, once with a gal in Georgia, once in Glendale, both marriageable, interested cuties 25 to 30+ years younger. Sometimes, as Will Smith said, parents just don't understand.

Oh, the pain. (Quoting DOCTOR Smith now.)

A little later a lightbulb went on. Hmm -check HER FB. After all, she had nosed around mine. I noticed she had "liked" my two bestest handsomest pictures. OK. Nuthin wrong wit dat.

Then I noticed hearts and I love you from a guy her age, posted a couple days before. Response from her was cold, "thank you". Hmmm. Who is this guy? Clicked him. His status? "In a relationship".... with her! Ahh, the plot thickens. Miss N... MY Miss N... the future mother of a new race of Armeno-Mexicans... is IN A RELATIONSHIP... or WAS... or is being pursued by a guy who HAS NO GAME AT ALL. Ahhh... it becomes clear. Nope it wasn't the parents. I was being used as a foil, to torture this poor longsuffering Romeo.

Even worse than getting shut down by parents. At least if it was parents, I could console myself that a young hottie actually wanted me.

But now it's clear, she just wanted my presence on FB. A photo op at a baseball game, as she had originally suggested, would have been perfect. No kissy kissy, no skin, just a great FB post to rub poor Romeo's face in.

Anyway maybe the beach was too much, and the FB "likes" on my photos were enough for Romeo to come running and pleading.

Got USED.

Am I sad and hurt. Nope. Do I feel stupid? Yup.


PLUSES:
1) At least it happened before I took her on a date and spent any money. Didnt even pay for a taco. Please DO NOT ASK what I wouldve spent if I'd been allowed to blunder forward.
(The girls each got paid the first day they worked, but they worked hard and did a lot of work. The second day I only paid one girl's wage, the other came for the vibes, and worked anyway. So I got more than what I paid for.)
2) I am free to move to a nicer area
(Where I am now is close to their neighborhood.)

3) Free to travel the world, if I just get my cash flow going again, and sort through old stuff.

MINUSES:
1) Lost a chance to learn Spanish for free.
2) Didn't "get any".
3) Lost my "street cred" on HA.
4) Lost a chance to have a circle of friends down here who are young and Mexican, not old and gringo.


NOW:
Do I go suck my thumb, as Robert Kiyosaki would say, and wait till I can really concentrate on taking a dating-trip to more fertile soil? (rural Mexico, Syria, SEA, etc. -somewhere that Miss Next 19 year old WILL be for real, no games)

Or at least find some accommodating young ladies in SEA who can lend a helping hand, so to speak?

Or do I do the "annuncio" thing AGAIN? Frankly my heart's not in in it right now. I feel like I will get more of what I got before - old mamas or young flakes.

I don't mind long odds if it's the only way, but I don't want to swim upstream unnecessarily.

And I really hate looking stupid!

[quito]

i would not count myself out if i was you. there was obviously some level of interest from her. if you think someone is worth it then compete a little bit. i have been in similar situations where there was some competition and i won. and you know it never hurts to talk so dont make a big deal out of it and just keep talking to her

[zboy1]

i would not count myself out if i was you. there was obviously some level of interest from her. if you think someone is worth it then compete a little bit. i have been in similar situations where there was some competition and i won. and you know it never hurts to talk so dont make a big deal out of it and just keep talking to her

Ditto+1

[publicduende]

That was one of the sweetest, most enjoyable posts I have ever read here. And surely not because I enjoyed learning about your perennially teenage heart skipping a few beats over a Latinita, shrugging it off and coming back wiser and wider than before. T'was all about the lightness and humour you poured into the story.

Well, not everything is lost, dude. As per earlier replies, I bet you can show her you're miles away from her ghetto BF. Perhaps her family is a traditional one and won't remain indifferent to a bout of old-school courting. Flowers and all. Her mind might still be stuck in young stud mode, but soon enough she'll have to start thinking with her head and the difference will crop up between a young aloof jefe and a mature, wise and romantic caballero.

You are a nice person, Jest. If it shows from your forum persona, you can't be that far from it in real life.

Good luck.

"Well it's a free for all free for all free for all
It's a free for all you and me
One day the world will be ready for you
And wonder how they didn't see"
(Spunky, Eels)

[Jester]

That was one of the sweetest, most enjoyable posts I have ever read here. And surely not because I enjoyed learning about your perennially teenage heart....

Seems my secret's out.

....skipping a few beats over a Latinita, shrugging it off and coming back wiser and wider than before. T'was all about the lightness and humour you poured into the story.

.....You are a nice person, Jest. If it shows from your forum persona, you can't be that far from it in real life.

Good luck.

"Well it's a free for all free for all free for all
It's a free for all you and me
One day the world will be ready for you
And wonder how they didn't see"
(Spunky, Eels)

Thank you for all your kind words, Public.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deHFKweW7qw
That's the song you were quoting... very pretty, not sure exactly how it applies. But going to listen to some more Eels.

[Jester]

i would not count myself out if i was you. there was obviously some level of interest from her. if you think someone is worth it then compete a little bit. i have been in similar situations where there was some competition and i won. and you know it never hurts to talk so dont make a big deal out of it and just keep talking to her

Ditto+1

Well, not everything is lost, dude. As per earlier replies, I bet you can show her you're miles away from her ghetto BF. Perhaps her family is a traditional one and won't remain indifferent to a bout of old-school courting. Flowers and all. Her mind might still be stuck in young stud mode, but soon enough she'll have to start thinking with her head and the difference will crop up between a young aloof jefe and a mature, wise and romantic caballero.

Wow!
Not the responses I expected. Interesting!

Maybe I WILL give it a try, if I can get her to make a first move of some kind.

BTW maybe someone Public or Quito or someone here can help me out with a translation. Yesterday morning at 11 AM I had sent Miss N this message on FB:

[Miss N], Yo esto esperando de ti y tu amiga esta manana... Claro esta una problema, no se que lo es. Por favor tu me envias un mesaje aqui y me dice que pasa. Y yo quiero saber que tu y [Miss P] son buen

Then, after midnight, she replied,

hola esuqe que pude ir n yo ni ella pero el lunes bo

followed right away by

boi

What did she say?

[publicduende]

hola esuqe que pude ir n yo ni ella pero el lunes bo

followed right away by

boi

What did she say?

She's typing broken Spanish but what I can understand is: hi, sorry, I can't come and neither can she, but Monday is OK.

[publicduende]

Thank you for all your kind words, Public.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deHFKweW7qw
That's the song you were quoting... very pretty, not sure exactly how it applies. But going to listen to some more Eels.

LOL yeah the song as a whole doesn't apply at all, but I have always liked that particular fragment of lyrics. And yes, E is an amazing rock/bluesman.

[Jester]

hola esuqe que pude ir n yo ni ella pero el lunes bo

followed right away by

boi

What did she say?

She's typing broken Spanish but what I can understand is: hi, sorry, I can't come and neither can she, but Monday is OK.

Thanks!

Does she seem stoned, or just a bad speller and using text abbreviations?

[Jester]

LOL yeah the song as a whole doesn't apply at all, but I have always like that particular fragment of lyrics. And yes, E is an amazing rock/bluesman.

Still listening to a 50 song playlist of their stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIgnYDIk ... eHFKweW7qw

[publicduende]

Does she seem stoned, or just a bad speller and using text abbreviations?

LOL quite typical of very young people typing away. I talked to my wife's younger brother yesterday and he mistyped/mispelled at least half of his words on that FB chat window.

[Jester]

Does she seem stoned, or just a bad speller and using text abbreviations?

LOL quite typical of very young people typing away. I talked to my wife's younger brother yesterday and he mistyped/mispelled at least half of his words on that FB chat window.

Thanks - I am learning to decipher misspelled and abbreviated texts in a language I don't even know.

Yeah a fat AW would be so much easier!

[Jester]

i would not count myself out if i was you. there was obviously some level of interest from her. if you think someone is worth it then compete a little bit. i have been in similar situations where there was some competition and i won. and you know it never hurts to talk so dont make a big deal out of it and just keep talking to her

Ditto+1

Well, not everything is lost, dude. As per earlier replies, I bet you can show her you're miles away from her ghetto BF. Perhaps her family is a traditional one and won't remain indifferent to a bout of old-school courting. Flowers and all. Her mind might still be stuck in young stud mode, but soon enough she'll have to start thinking with her head and the difference will crop up between a young aloof jefe and a mature, wise and romantic caballero.

Wow!
Not the responses I expected. Interesting!

Maybe I WILL give it a try, if I can get her to make a first move of some kind.

BTW maybe someone Public or Quito or someone here can help me out with a translation. Yesterday morning at 11 AM I had sent Miss N this message on FB:

[Miss N], Yo esto esperando de ti y tu amiga esta manana... Claro esta una problema, no se que lo es. Por favor tu me envias un mesaje aqui y me dice que pasa. Y yo quiero saber que tu y [Miss P] son buen

Then, after midnight, she replied,

hola esuqe que pude ir n yo ni ella pero el lunes bo

followed right away by

boi

What did she say?

OK...... Up-date:

Wasn't that unhappy to be free to explore by myself on a weekend. I got several calls from an unknown number Sunday while I was out hiking. When I got home Miss N was messaging hopefully on FB, promising to come in by 8am on Monday. I ignored her till 9pm or so. Then told her very nicely that since we had had some problems on Saturday, perhaps we shouldn't work together right now. She kept pushing, said she had had to go to hospital Saturday, phone had been out of minutes, etc. Finally I relented and said come in AM.

Have to thank you guys, ZBoy, Public & Quito for that. I've been played by girls in the distant past. So I'm very wary about being played again. And I pretty much believe that one should deal with women with "an iron hand in a velvet glove". (Sounds harsh but ask a chick if you doubt me.)

But despite all that, I'm really glad I gave her the chance.

It turns out she wasn't playing me after all.

She had a toothache. Went to the dentist. He pulled the tooth. (Didn't verify yet, but I will!) Got home at 2 or 3 in the afternoon. (No doubt laid down after that, I've been there.)

Her little brother (whom I've met) had dropped her cellphone and broke it. (Verified this with Miss N's gf Miss I.) Her mom's cellphone was out of minutes. (Very plausible.)

I got some of the story on FB Sunday night, reviewed it and fleshed it out Monday AM when she came to work. Not an Inquisition on my part, she came into my office to start conversation after a bit.

Anyway Miss P was indeed away, as Miss N had said Sunday, and so Miss N's chaperone / coworker for the day this morning was Miss I. Miss I was extremely articulate and left-brained, helped me with some tech stuff plus with my Spanish. Miss N was visibly chagrined at being left out. Which led to some humorous flirtation. Miss N sent me virtual flowers from a nearby computer while I was working with Miss I. I was learning to do FB messages with Miss I, so I immediately countered by uploading and messaging to Miss N a photo of some purple tulips I had in my screensaver collection. Miss N responded with this cute, un-self-conscious moving cartoon of aw-gee type appreciation. (One of FB's little thingies I guess.) Ah, that did it. She wanted attention and she does like me. OK.

So Public... it DOES look like it's going to take flowers. Kind of unusual for me to give flowers in ADVANCE, usually I would give them, you know... AFTER.

No guarantee of a serious relationship here. Liza Doolittle loved to be around Professor Higgins, but was it romance? But anyway I am going to press my case here. And I am going to take it very very slow, because unlike any romantic situation I have been in for my entire life since age 14, THAT is what is called for here. Usually it's "Bust a move!"... or "Why DIDN'T I bust a move?" This is different.

Spinning my web, using strategy.... I can DO this.

Armeno-Mexicans back on track!

PS:
BTW I did mention to her that I was going to go to her house to check on her and her friend (same vicinity) until I saw a guy on FB claiming to be in a relationship with her. She just laughed him off. (Eyes said she is not hiding anything, I can read them.) A pretty girl with guys flirting with her, no surprise.

[Jester]

BTW I am pretty sure I mentioned on another thread that I was doing a lot of research and analysis about where to go, because I would probably fall in love right away, wherever I ended up.

[Jester]

One more thing I want to add:

"GAME" is NOT needed here (Mexico).

I always think that in the right amount, "game" can help spice things up. And I DO use it, gently.

But it is not NECESSARY here.

As you can tell from the above anecdote, TOO MUCH game could even HURT here.

And as Public suggested above, flowers in advance of nookie might even be a GOOD idea here.