So You've Actually Found Your 3rd World Angel - Now what!?

[rudder]

I'm sure a lot of young men on here share this same fantasy. Now that I've actually met a wonderful girlfriend that I consider wife material, I'm starting to think this whole process through. Let's say you've met a girl while in a 3rd world country, and you love her a lot, but you really can't stand the country she's in, and you don't want to spend the rest of your money to stay in the country just to be with her.

1. So, do you continue to live with her in the miserable, depressing 3rd world sh*thole teaching english lessons through skype for the rest of your life?

2. Do you go back home, and work hard for a few months at menial jobs just to save up enough for an eventual return to visit her?

3. Do you get married very promptly, so that you can take her back to the USSA with you to live together at her in-laws' home? Maybe she could help out with the household duties and study English while you go work multiple jobs and save up money for the future.

4. Do you get married promptly so that you can be a resident in her country and attempt to find some local job that would barely pay enough to get by?

Well, these are essentially my options right now, and it's pretty depressing to consider them. I'm leaning towards the "making her your wife and going back to live at your parents' home option." I think there's a lot of cultural shame that comes with that option though.

It just doesn't seem like having a girlfriend or wife is even feasible in today's world unless you already have a well-established, stable career. Let's be honest, having a decent, stable career is somewhat of a feat nowadays.

At the same time, I don't want to wait until the stars have all lined up and I've gotten my life perfectly on track in order to be with a woman that loves me. The day might never come. For example, I've got an older friend in his fifties, that has been single his whole life, and has now basically hit rock bottom career and financial-wise. He can't afford to go abroad to look for a foreign woman, and the vast majority of american women won't even consider him in the slightest.

[Taco]

1. So, do you continue to live with her in the miserable, depressing 3rd world sh*thole teaching english lessons through skype for the rest of your life?

This is my current situation only I'm not making any money doing it, very stressed out about too. Your still young so I wouldn't worry about it too much I see 60 yr old guys with 20 yr old Filipinas all the time.

Immigration makes it harder to bring back a foreign bride every year it seems. However, if your an illegal alien from Mexico with no interest in ever getting married they'll let in the US with few questions and give you a green card tomorrow.

[green1976]

If i found a wife material she should be economically self sustainable so coming from a poor background won't work.
I cannot meet the needs of her and her family.
She should at least be from the upper middle class.

In this way,it will be more realistic to work some few months in France and coming in her country most of the year.
Also,as she would probably be well connected,it will be easier to land a job there.

Easy to say,hard to make as we all know how females who have money can be picky but as i'm myself quit short in term of money,building something with a poor woman won't work(she will soon dump me for sure).

If i just don't find any woman with this social status,i will just continue playing around,f u c king bargirls but in no way i would consider them as wife material.

[rudder]

I'm surpised more people haven't responded to this thread, since it seems like many members on this forum expect to just:

Go Abroad Eventually, Find Dream Woman, Live Happily Ever After.

[rudder]

1. So, do you continue to live with her in the miserable, depressing 3rd world sh*thole teaching english lessons through skype for the rest of your life?

This is my current situation only I'm not making any money doing it, very stressed out about too. .

So, what do you plan on doing? Feel free to respond to me via PM, if you're worried about the personal nature of the post.

If i found a wife material she should be economically self sustainable so coming from a poor background won't work.
I cannot meet the needs of her and her family.
She should at least be from the upper middle class.

OK, this describes my fiance. She has a decent, stable career. Nevertheless, the issue at hand, how to spend my life with her, remains.

[djfourmoney]

I'm sure a lot of young men on here share this same fantasy. Now that I've actually met a wonderful girlfriend that I consider wife material, I'm starting to think this whole process through. Let's say you've met a girl while in a 3rd world country, and you love her a lot, but you really can't stand the country she's in, and you don't want to spend the rest of your money to stay in the country just to be with her.

1. So, do you continue to live with her in the miserable, depressing 3rd world sh*thole teaching english lessons through skype for the rest of your life?

2. Do you go back home, and work hard for a few months at menial jobs just to save up enough for an eventual return to visit her?

3. Do you get married very promptly, so that you can take her back to the USSA with you to live together at her in-laws' home? Maybe she could help out with the household duties and study English while you go work multiple jobs and save up money for the future.

4. Do you get married promptly so that you can be a resident in her country and attempt to find some local job that would barely pay enough to get by?

Well, these are essentially my options right now, and it's pretty depressing to consider them. I'm leaning towards the "making her your wife and going back to live at your parents' home option." I think there's a lot of cultural shame that comes with that option though.

It just doesn't seem like having a girlfriend or wife is even feasible in today's world unless you already have a well-established, stable career. Let's be honest, having a decent, stable career is somewhat of a feat nowadays.

At the same time, I don't want to wait until the stars have all lined up and I've gotten my life perfectly on track in order to be with a woman that loves me. The day might never come. For example, I've got an older friend in his fifties, that has been single his whole life, and has now basically hit rock bottom career and financial-wise. He can't afford to go abroad to look for a foreign woman, and the vast majority of American women won't even consider him in the slightest.

I picked #3 because its the closest to what I did.

If you are in your 20's still, living at home is socially acceptable until you get on your feet. Even though marriage is seen more and more as a capstone to live and not as a tool to build wealth and stability, this is likely your best option.

On the series 90 Fiance, remember that Russ and Paola plan was to live with his parents until he had enough money for the wedding. Because his parents were conservative, they were taken back a bit by Paola's free spirited attitude. Further proof that opposites do attract each other. Anyway when it was clear that they couldn't live with his parents rules of sleeping in separate rooms they decided to take some of the wedding budget and get a high end apartment.

Toiling away in a BS near min wage job is not pointless if you have a plan. After about two months, I informed my GF at the time who lived with me at my parents house as I picked her up from Arizona; that she needed to find work. She was doing stuff around the house, such as cooking and helped with shopping as well.

There was one issue I think you should be aware of.

My sister who also lives here (still does) lacks a large social network and my mother felt because they were close in age that Nicole would socialize with her. When that largely didn't happen, I believe my sister worked behind the scenes to force us out of the house before we were ready. If you have siblings, I would tread lightly here especially if you're relationship with them isn't too good.

Anyway, we had an apartment, furniture, computer, pay TV and a car. We did most of it on her $1,500 a month income. I was starting my business at the time and she had no problem with it. I paid for things when I could and I usually paid the car payment, along with fuel and other things.

There's no reason to assume that you can't do the same thing. The K-1 Visa is not just for rich people, you only need to be 130% of poverty or about $20,000 a year, give or take. If under that, your parents could co-sign for you. Just like when you buy a car and they co-sign, if something happens to the relationship, they become responsible for her well-being. She will not be deported, she will be allowed to stay and get her Green Card and they are responsible up to that point.

If you found a girl for all the right reasons, there should be little concern over a breakup and your relationship should breeze through the five year mark if not the ten year mark.

I've always maintained if I went the Eastern European route, that we could come back to the US because living in Eastern Europe is NOT an option. Its also best to immerse herself in a culture that speaks English 24/7/365 to come to grips with it faster.

If you do this just have a plan, K.I.S.S

Pay off all debts FIRST. If that means living with your parents, then do it. Nothing worse than servicing debt or sacrificing so you can pay more than the min payment. Make the sacrifice now, do not avoid the social pain of friends and relatives clowning you. In a few months/years you're debts will be paid, they'll be still mired in them.

Buy a cheap car if you don't have one currently. If you buy new, no more than 10-15% of your income. 9 times out of 10 whatever woman you bring back here if she's not from a first world country, its unlikely she has even had a car or knowns how to drive. She may have a license but driver training in these countries is not nearly as good as is in the US and no where near as good as Germany.

Build an emergency fund ($1,000). Trust me, DO IT. I found myself in pickle. We lived in an apartment in a so-so part of North Hollywood. Our new car was broken into, the side window was busted, they tried to take the radio but didn't. This was the second time because the car port is poorly lit. I decided we should get an alarm and replace the window if we were going to continue to park there. We didn't have many other options for parking.

That took about $300 of the rent money and we were late with the rent by a few days. The landlord filed an eviction based on that. We had never been late before. We could have fought it but we decided to upgrade, so we moved out about a month later back into my parents house for about six months until the politics of my parents house forced us out again.

Build that emergency fund, if you need to fix the car or have a deposit ready for a new place, you'll have it.

From there, you need to then build lost of income fund. Six months of living expenses. Again to protect yourself from layoffs or being fired or finding a better position, you'll feel less pressure to take where you're not welcome or where you're not happy.

At that point you would look at investments long term, but you can go to Dave Ramsey's website for more information there.

You can make it work, just do it!

[sfexcellence]

In addition to what djfourmoney has said, I would say that the ideal situation would be to live outside the anglosphere with the girlfriend, like OzGuy is doing in Switzerland. So work a few menial jobs, save up $1500, THEN go to internetbusinessmastery.com, sign up for the academy and build a location independent business the right way, no matter how long it takes, focus on the outcome not the process and you'll make it, you'll acheive the goals and your friends will be stuck in the USSA.

Learn languages, save up money and do research to find out what your expatriate base would be, then when you're mostly ready, move overseas with your girlfriend and make it work. As magnum has said, life is war, you take the first step and finish it no matter what.

[rudder]

I'm sure a lot of young men on here share this same fantasy. Now that I've actually met a wonderful girlfriend that I consider wife material, I'm starting to think this whole process through. Let's say you've met a girl while in a 3rd world country, and you love her a lot, but you really can't stand the country she's in, and you don't want to spend the rest of your money to stay in the country just to be with her.

1. So, do you continue to live with her in the miserable, depressing 3rd world sh*thole teaching english lessons through skype for the rest of your life?

2. Do you go back home, and work hard for a few months at menial jobs just to save up enough for an eventual return to visit her?

3. Do you get married very promptly, so that you can take her back to the USSA with you to live together at her in-laws' home? Maybe she could help out with the household duties and study English while you go work multiple jobs and save up money for the future.

4. Do you get married promptly so that you can be a resident in her country and attempt to find some local job that would barely pay enough to get by?

Well, these are essentially my options right now, and it's pretty depressing to consider them. I'm leaning towards the "making her your wife and going back to live at your parents' home option." I think there's a lot of cultural shame that comes with that option though.

It just doesn't seem like having a girlfriend or wife is even feasible in today's world unless you already have a well-established, stable career. Let's be honest, having a decent, stable career is somewhat of a feat nowadays.

At the same time, I don't want to wait until the stars have all lined up and I've gotten my life perfectly on track in order to be with a woman that loves me. The day might never come. For example, I've got an older friend in his fifties, that has been single his whole life, and has now basically hit rock bottom career and financial-wise. He can't afford to go abroad to look for a foreign woman, and the vast majority of American women won't even consider him in the slightest.

I picked #3 because its the closest to what I did.

If you are in your 20's still, living at home is socially acceptable until you get on your feet. Even though marriage is seen more and more as a capstone to live and not as a tool to build wealth and stability, this is likely your best option.

On the series 90 Fiance, remember that Russ and Paola plan was to live with his parents until he had enough money for the wedding. Because his parents were conservative, they were taken back a bit by Paola's free spirited attitude. Further proof that opposites do attract each other. Anyway when it was clear that they couldn't live with his parents rules of sleeping in separate rooms they decided to take some of the wedding budget and get a high end apartment.

Toiling away in a BS near min wage job is not pointless if you have a plan. After about two months, I informed my GF at the time who lived with me at my parents house as I picked her up from Arizona; that she needed to find work. She was doing stuff around the house, such as cooking and helped with shopping as well.

There was one issue I think you should be aware of.

My sister who also lives here (still does) lacks a large social network and my mother felt because they were close in age that Nicole would socialize with her. When that largely didn't happen, I believe my sister worked behind the scenes to force us out of the house before we were ready. If you have siblings, I would tread lightly here especially if you're relationship with them isn't too good.

Anyway, we had an apartment, furniture, computer, pay TV and a car. We did most of it on her $1,500 a month income. I was starting my business at the time and she had no problem with it. I paid for things when I could and I usually paid the car payment, along with fuel and other things.

There's no reason to assume that you can't do the same thing. The K-1 Visa is not just for rich people, you only need to be 130% of poverty or about $20,000 a year, give or take. If under that, your parents could co-sign for you. Just like when you buy a car and they co-sign, if something happens to the relationship, they become responsible for her well-being. She will not be deported, she will be allowed to stay and get her Green Card and they are responsible up to that point.

If you found a girl for all the right reasons, there should be little concern over a breakup and your relationship should breeze through the five year mark if not the ten year mark.

I've always maintained if I went the Eastern European route, that we could come back to the US because living in Eastern Europe is NOT an option. Its also best to immerse herself in a culture that speaks English 24/7/365 to come to grips with it faster.

If you do this just have a plan, K.I.S.S

Pay off all debts FIRST. If that means living with your parents, then do it. Nothing worse than servicing debt or sacrificing so you can pay more than the min payment. Make the sacrifice now, do not avoid the social pain of friends and relatives clowning you. In a few months/years you're debts will be paid, they'll be still mired in them.

Buy a cheap car if you don't have one currently. If you buy new, no more than 10-15% of your income. 9 times out of 10 whatever woman you bring back here if she's not from a first world country, its unlikely she has even had a car or knowns how to drive. She may have a license but driver training in these countries is not nearly as good as is in the US and no where near as good as Germany.

Build an emergency fund ($1,000). Trust me, DO IT. I found myself in pickle. We lived in an apartment in a so-so part of North Hollywood. Our new car was broken into, the side window was busted, they tried to take the radio but didn't. This was the second time because the car port is poorly lit. I decided we should get an alarm and replace the window if we were going to continue to park there. We didn't have many other options for parking.

That took about $300 of the rent money and we were late with the rent by a few days. The landlord filed an eviction based on that. We had never been late before. We could have fought it but we decided to upgrade, so we moved out about a month later back into my parents house for about six months until the politics of my parents house forced us out again.

Build that emergency fund, if you need to fix the car or have a deposit ready for a new place, you'll have it.

From there, you need to then build lost of income fund. Six months of living expenses. Again to protect yourself from layoffs or being fired or finding a better position, you'll feel less pressure to take where you're not welcome or where you're not happy.

At that point you would look at investments long term, but you can go to Dave Ramsey's website for more information there.

You can make it work, just do it!

Awesome post! This is the encouragement I was hoping to hear.