Filipinas in Online Dating turns out to be hideous

[mguy]

I log in to my account after several months of no activity to find 75+ unread messages.

Ok that's fine. But then I check out the girls I used to message OMG what the phuck happened?!?!?

It seems like the girls from online are flipping ugly. Lol. When I first got here (1 month) I was like wow! She looks great!

Fast forward 8 months in and I would not have given any of them a single look. What the phuck.. did America really starve me that much? lol. WTF seriously....!!!!!!! I would not touch any of them with a pole at this point. But I swear when I first looked at them.. they looked real pretty. How stupid was I.

OK HERE's THE DEAL GUYS:

Girls online are refuse of the local dating scene.

The real catches would not in a million years sign up for an online dating site.

If you think these girls are pretty, omfg, just live here for six months and you will see how blind you really are.

SHIFTING BEAUTY PREFERENCES ARE VERY REAL. I would not date any of the girls I dated when I first got here. Was I blind? I swear to God they were good looking, or good looking enough when I first got here. But .. seriously.. I wouldn't touch of them now. lol

You want to see real beauties? Man, try walking in the local mall. lol. Trust me, these girls online are fugly motherjigs compare to what you see in real life.

[jamesbond]

OK HERE's THE DEAL GUYS:

Girls online are refuse of the local dating scene.

The real catches would not in a million years sign up for an online dating site.

This is so true! No matter what country you use for internet dating whether it's the US, Canada, Ukraine, Russia, Brazil, Columbia or the Philippines, your not going to find or date any good looking women. You may see some good looking women online but they are getting hundreds of guys a week sending them messages.

Also, a lot of those hot girls are just trying to see how many guys will send them messages and have NO intent of ever meeting a guy through online dating.

Hot women are able to meet men in person (at bars, clubs, parties, at work, school, through friends) so they don't have to resort to using online dating. Most women who use online dating as ugly as sin itself!

Remember guys, your not going to find any good looking women on the internet, if the woman was good looking ............... she wouldn't be using the internet.

[Rock]

I log in to my account after several months of no activity to find 75+ unread messages.

Ok that's fine. But then I check out the girls I used to message OMG what the phuck happened?!?!?

It seems like the girls from online are flipping ugly. Lol. When I first got here (1 month) I was like wow! She looks great!

Fast forward 8 months in and I would not have given any of them a single look. What the phuck.. did America really starve me that much? lol. WTF seriously....!!!!!!! I would not touch any of them with a pole at this point. But I swear when I first looked at them.. they looked real pretty. How stupid was I.

OK HERE's THE DEAL GUYS:

Girls online are refuse of the local dating scene.

The real catches would not in a million years sign up for an online dating site.

If you think these girls are pretty, omfg, just live here for six months and you will see how blind you really are.

SHIFTING BEAUTY PREFERENCES ARE VERY REAL. I would not date any of the girls I dated when I first got here. Was I blind? I swear to God they were good looking, or good looking enough when I first got here. But .. seriously.. I wouldn't touch of them now. lol

You want to see real beauties? Man, try walking in the local mall. lol. Trust me, these girls online are fugly motherjigs compare to what you see in real life.

You might be able to find some quality girls online. But the filtering process is brutal. Wanna get an additional taste of shifting preferences/rising standards? Just hang-out in upscale venues in Bangkok for awhile and then see how fugly the Metro Manila mall girls look on your return. It's all relative.

[xiongmao]

Some of the girls I dated looked better IRL than in their profiles. So sometimes you can be surprised on the upside.

I didn't think Bangkok's malls had that many hot women. But then Guangzhou really spoiled me - that place was full of talent. Suburban Guangzhou was awesome, and pretty much completely foreigner free.

[pete98146]

Hey guys,

I've tried to coach many of you thruout the years and provide tips on how to find women online. Many of us don't have the ability to spend quality time in a given country due to things such as 1) lack of funds 2) lack of vacation time etc. So if done correctly, chatting with foreign ladies online is still a great tool IF done correctly.

But swearing off online dating entirely is like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. So yes, when a guy joins a foreign dating site, he will no doubt receive dozens upon dozens of emails from desperate women that are hell bent on finding a foreign husband in the hopes of leading a better life. Been there and done that and I too was overwhelmed and disappointed with the quality of women that were reaching out to me.

Many months of trial and error and frustration led me to completely change my strategy. This is important and I can't stress it enough. If you are to be successful at online dating, you stand a much better chance of succeeding if you BECOME THE HUNTER AND AVOID BEING THE HUNTED.

What do I mean by this? The HUNTED is content to sit back and reply to the email and chat requests of ladies that are contacting him. The HUNTER complies his own lists based on the qualifications that he's seeking, does some advanced searches to eliminate the trash and he comes up with a much smaller list of (hopefully) beautiful women that are worth pursuing. The HUNTER sends emails to girls on his list. If you approach online dating with a passive mindset you won't have much luck IMHO.

It doesn't matter which country we are talking about because there are plenty of beautiful women all over the place and this includes Philippines. Do good women go online to find men? Absolutely! They are just more difficult to find in a sea of desperate low lives. This is the reason why it's smart to build your own list of lovelies.

[newlifeinphilippines]

yeah i was shocked when after 3 months on the dating site and seeing them on cam only 15 percent were decently attractive (6.5+) out of the already attractive girls i weeded out just on their profile pic on dateinasia. id say only 5 percent are what i consider HOT 7+ after weeding out some of the ugly pictures on dateinasia. if you message everyone it will be a lower percent than that. even girls on facebook were often uglier on cam. the cam never lies. sometimes they are hotter in real life than cam but only cause of makeup.


How many percent will go to your hotel room on first date instead of meeting at the mall first? I had a couple experiences on dateinasia where the girl went directly to my room they were not girlfriend material. another one met me at the front but we had been tlaking awhile and it wasn't really for a date. Another girl i was talkign for a few days and we met at airport and we went straight to the hotel and she is living with me lol after 2 moths still to this day. She wanted to move in before i even flew in lol she is not really easy though she is inexperienced and shy and i had to get her to open up.

it seems like i always wind up with the instant girlfriend last few visits i was seeing my barhoe.

maybe id be better off just inviting tons of girls off the dating site to my room directly so no wasted time on going out o mall and being flaked on or wasting money and we not clicking. jus get straight to sex lol

[hammanta]

I understand looks matter but how many of the guys on here would seriously label themselves above a 7? What are you bringing to the table? When saying most girls who resort to online dating are social misfits, can you not then label yourself that as well? Every trip I take over there I see 40,50,60+ aged foreigners fat, lack of style, with terrible attitudes everywhere. I'm not necessarily saying this forum is indicative of that view, but I wouldn't be surprised. You want a supermodel and nothing less. Are you not in return acting in the same negative light as the western women you so hate? Majority of average looking filipinas are way better than what most middle aged men can get in the U.S.

I may sound quite judgmental and I apologize for that. Every man old, fat, young, ugly, handsome, whatever, deserves happiness, but the choosiness in this forum is crazy. The Philippines isn't some fantasy land where supermodels bow down you white men no matter what your looks.

[Dash]

plenty of cute and attractive 6-7's in philippines.

and that is coming from a harsh 27 year old rater.

[Johnny1975]

I'm very satisfied with the quality of many filipinas on OKCupid.

[RollingStone]

At least these girls are friendly to you, unlike ameri-bitches. Who cares if she's ugly - just pay for plastic surgery! It's cheap overseas and she can look like your dream girl!

[Falcon]

I have never met a woman through online dating, and have no desire to do so. I meet women through real-life interaction. That's how you find the goodies. I'm already swamped just by being out there, instead of browsing the Internet non-stop.

I once signed up for an online account at MelindasPenpals.com, which is a free Filipina dating site. But I got blocked by the admins, presumably old white guys who saw me as a threat.

The site just shut down this year. http://melindaspenpals.com/
Here's what they wrote.

July 2014 - We have suspended operations after 10 years online. We want to thank all the hundreds of couples that shared their experiences and photos with us throughout the year. It was a pleasure providing a place were Filipina ladies and men could meet at share their experiences with other members.

In 2014 Asian and Filipina dating has evolved into an entertainment or fantasy industry more than anything else. It's a three way battle between the Filipina scammers/cam girls, African spammers and the guys looking for free cam sex. The worldwide economic situation and worsening poverty in the Philippines have resulted in a very bad climate for Filipina dating.


Why Online Filipina Dating Is Dying

1) The Men - Many guys on Filipina dating sites now are unemployed/ underemployed and just burning time. They have neither the means or desire to travel to the Philippines. We also see a lot of porn and video game addicts, religious fanatics, with the same unemployment/ underemployment problem. There is also a decline in the willingness of men to exchange in any meaningful dialog. Whether it be instant messages, or blogs, most guys really have nothing to say anymore. This might be symptom of and overall intellectual decline in Western men. It is no secret that America is heading toward a society of more employed and educated women, as the men retreat to whatever it is that keeps them busy all day.

Some of what keeps them busy is going online and treating Asian women with disrespect. I think for many men porn along with online fantasy games have lead to a deterioration in their basic social skills, including how to treat ladies with a little respect. There are now more obnoxious and crude men visiting Filipina dating sites. A lot of their communication now would be compared to online grunting, or perhaps barking. It must be what it was like in the Neanderthal days before languages were formed.


2) The Women - In a close second we have the decline in Filipina women on Filipina dating sites. We are seeing a lot more single Filipinas with children that are increasingly desperate to find an income source. The strength of Filipino families is weakening, and that weakening comes out in many ways. They are just becoming more Westernized minus the social safety net. More Filipinas are using dating sites to try and find a sugar daddy. Behind closed doors any large Filipina dating site would admit that 50% of their female members are just cam girls or scammers they cannot extract permanently. It is like playing a game of Wack-A-Mole but the moles keep coming back using new IP addresses and different rented computers. The scamming coming out of the Philippines now rivals Nigeria. These countries are in the same scamming class, and in many ways the Philippines is worse. Filipinos have better English skills thus making communicating and scamming more profitable. The other major problem with Filipina ladies is nearly half of them are unable or unwilling to maintain a working email account. Their entire online lives revolve around Facebook, thus their Yahoo email accounts are suspended or closed. This is an incredible waste of resources for any small dating site that advertises to bring in new members. 99% of members with invalid email accounts never return.


3) Decline In Niche Dating Sites - You will see fewer and fewer small niche dating sites online in the future. It has become harder and harder for them to compete because search engines are squeezing them out. If you want any real exposure on search engines now (including Google) you must pay to play. In a bid to increase ad profits search engines are now pushing the results of their pay advertisers to the top. The big boys can pay for exposure on Google but the little mom and pop sites cannot. Search engines use to rank sites based on their relevance and good content but not anymore. Also, Google now penalizes smaller sites (ranks them lower) that display ads to offset expenses. Why? This is complicated but let me explain. A click on a search engine ad means 100% profit for Google while a click on a site based ad (like the ads on MP) means a 32% profit. To increase profits Google is lowering the search rankings of sites like MP that display ads, thus increasing their search engine ad clicks and profits. I understand Google is a company and profits are the name of the game. I do not fault Google or other search engines for ending search neutrality if they choose. it is just disingenuous to deceive other about what you are really doing. This change leaves very few options for smaller sites looking for revenue to remain open. The end result will be a few mega sites and a bunch of smaller "dead zones". Dead zones are sites that remain online but are essential dead. The cost of memberships on the mega sites will increase. This will be no different than what you see with things like the airline industry, cell phone service, or cable TV. Less diversity and more expensive service.


4) African Based Scammers And Bots - Whenever I think this problem cannot get any worse it always does. While Nigeria is the main culprit there are a half dozen African countries that have a huge number of scammers. These scammers do not necessarily target Filipina or Asian dating sites, but it is one of their many playgrounds. Again, we have a lot of people with nothing to do so they spend their lives trying to steal money from other people online. I cannot imagine spending years of my life engaged in such a destructive activity, but for others this is all they know. These people are relentless and impossible to combat without a team of monitors. I wish there was an easy way to block countries from entering your website but there really is no productive way to do it, and in many cases the problems you create from trying just hurts your site even more. I'm sure with enough global pressure a lot of the IP networks that allow these people to operate could be shut down, but there is no real Internet police force to deal with the problem. Now with mobile devices stopping them is almost impossible. These people have come close to ruining online social networking for all sites, except those with incredible resources to combat them.


We leave the Filipina dating world with our heads held high. I'm proud of what Melinda and I accomplished with our vision and purpose for 10 years. I'm proud if the contributions we had from so many great members. We held standards for membership which scared off a lot of the dead beats and scammers.

[davewe]

I have never met a woman through online dating, and have no desire to do so. I meet women through real-life interaction. That's how you find the goodies. I'm already swamped just by being out there, instead of browsing the Internet non-stop.

I once signed up for an online account at MelindasPenpals.com, which is a free Filipina dating site. But I got blocked by the admins, presumably old white guys who saw me as a threat.

The site just shut down this year. http://melindaspenpals.com/
Here's what they wrote.

July 2014 - We have suspended operations after 10 years online. We want to thank all the hundreds of couples that shared their experiences and photos with us throughout the year. It was a pleasure providing a place were Filipina ladies and men could meet at share their experiences with other members.

In 2014 Asian and Filipina dating has evolved into an entertainment or fantasy industry more than anything else. It's a three way battle between the Filipina scammers/cam girls, African spammers and the guys looking for free cam sex. The worldwide economic situation and worsening poverty in the Philippines have resulted in a very bad climate for Filipina dating.


Why Online Filipina Dating Is Dying

1) The Men - Many guys on Filipina dating sites now are unemployed/ underemployed and just burning time. They have neither the means or desire to travel to the Philippines. We also see a lot of p**n and video game addicts, religious fanatics, with the same unemployment/ underemployment problem. There is also a decline in the willingness of men to exchange in any meaningful dialog. Whether it be instant messages, or blogs, most guys really have nothing to say anymore. This might be symptom of and overall intellectual decline in Western men. It is no secret that America is heading toward a society of more employed and educated women, as the men retreat to whatever it is that keeps them busy all day.

Some of what keeps them busy is going online and treating Asian women with disrespect. I think for many men p**n along with online fantasy games have lead to a deterioration in their basic social skills, including how to treat ladies with a little respect. There are now more obnoxious and crude men visiting Filipina dating sites. A lot of their communication now would be compared to online grunting, or perhaps barking. It must be what it was like in the Neanderthal days before languages were formed.


2) The Women - In a close second we have the decline in Filipina women on Filipina dating sites. We are seeing a lot more single Filipinas with children that are increasingly desperate to find an income source. The strength of Filipino families is weakening, and that weakening comes out in many ways. They are just becoming more Westernized minus the social safety net. More Filipinas are using dating sites to try and find a sugar daddy. Behind closed doors any large Filipina dating site would admit that 50% of their female members are just cam girls or scammers they cannot extract permanently. It is like playing a game of Wack-A-Mole but the moles keep coming back using new IP addresses and different rented computers. The scamming coming out of the Philippines now rivals Nigeria. These countries are in the same scamming class, and in many ways the Philippines is worse. Filipinos have better English skills thus making communicating and scamming more profitable. The other major problem with Filipina ladies is nearly half of them are unable or unwilling to maintain a working email account. Their entire online lives revolve around Facebook, thus their Yahoo email accounts are suspended or closed. This is an incredible waste of resources for any small dating site that advertises to bring in new members. 99% of members with invalid email accounts never return.


3) Decline In Niche Dating Sites - You will see fewer and fewer small niche dating sites online in the future. It has become harder and harder for them to compete because search engines are squeezing them out. If you want any real exposure on search engines now (including Google) you must pay to play. In a bid to increase ad profits search engines are now pushing the results of their pay advertisers to the top. The big boys can pay for exposure on Google but the little mom and pop sites cannot. Search engines use to rank sites based on their relevance and good content but not anymore. Also, Google now penalizes smaller sites (ranks them lower) that display ads to offset expenses. Why? This is complicated but let me explain. A click on a search engine ad means 100% profit for Google while a click on a site based ad (like the ads on MP) means a 32% profit. To increase profits Google is lowering the search rankings of sites like MP that display ads, thus increasing their search engine ad clicks and profits. I understand Google is a company and profits are the name of the game. I do not fault Google or other search engines for ending search neutrality if they choose. it is just disingenuous to deceive other about what you are really doing. This change leaves very few options for smaller sites looking for revenue to remain open. The end result will be a few mega sites and a bunch of smaller "dead zones". Dead zones are sites that remain online but are essential dead. The cost of memberships on the mega sites will increase. This will be no different than what you see with things like the airline industry, cell phone service, or cable TV. Less diversity and more expensive service.


4) African Based Scammers And Bots - Whenever I think this problem cannot get any worse it always does. While Nigeria is the main culprit there are a half dozen African countries that have a huge number of scammers. These scammers do not necessarily target Filipina or Asian dating sites, but it is one of their many playgrounds. Again, we have a lot of people with nothing to do so they spend their lives trying to steal money from other people online. I cannot imagine spending years of my life engaged in such a destructive activity, but for others this is all they know. These people are relentless and impossible to combat without a team of monitors. I wish there was an easy way to block countries from entering your website but there really is no productive way to do it, and in many cases the problems you create from trying just hurts your site even more. I'm sure with enough global pressure a lot of the IP networks that allow these people to operate could be shut down, but there is no real Internet police force to deal with the problem. Now with mobile devices stopping them is almost impossible. These people have come close to ruining online social networking for all sites, except those with incredible resources to combat them.


We leave the Filipina dating world with our heads held high. I'm proud of what Melinda and I accomplished with our vision and purpose for 10 years. I'm proud if the contributions we had from so many great members. We held standards for membership which scared off a lot of the dead beats and scammers.

This is a nice analysis, Falcon - thanks for posting it. But let me re-frame it. This is far more about the massive (good and bad) influence of the Internet, not whether any one country, like the Philippines has changed. Just as two generations ago American culture was changed dramatically by TV, we are undergoing an incredible transformation based on the power and ubiquity of the Internet.

Let's face it all of us (myself included) have been altered by the Internet. I probably have more Internet "friends" than real in the world friends. I communicate more online than I do in person. We use the Internet to get jobs, do work, find dates, find wives, even have sex. Research, which once meant weeks in the library is now done in minutes.

It's an incredible tool, but there's nearly as much bad as good. People from a developing nation like the Philippines now can communicate with 1st worlders on a daily basis. How could that experience not change all of us.

And yet it's a country of 100 million. Most women will never date a foreigner let alone marry one. Most men online will never go to the Philippines or any Asian country, and if they do it's for a quick vacation not a change in their lives.

For many of us much of life is lived in the Internet. What I am saying is certainly not unique. The power of the tool brings the best and worst out in us. It allows us to take risks or just live life in mommy's basement.

Has the Philippines changed because of the internet? No doubt. But so has each one of us whether we admit it or not.

While I find the honestly and candor of places like HA to be refreshing, I find much of the behavior disgusting. As the guy said, so many of us are so lost in the Internet that even when we encounter people in real life we are incapable for connecting in a human way and therefore real relationships are impossible and are replaced by fake ones.

Personally, I still think you can find a good girl online, but if you want her to be undamaged by the Internet world, you'd best make sure you're not damaged by it as well

[Falcon]

DaveWe, thanks for your insightful thoughts, and I really do agree. As always, I've got plenty of respect for thoughtful guys like you and Ladislav.

Rock has also met some truly wonderful potential soulmates online, so online dating isn't all bad. The overall trend nowadays is that online dating doesn't tend to be very fruitful or productive, but countless people have also met new friends through the Internet who have changed their lives for the better.

The Internet is a powerful tool that can be used to your advantage or disadvantage. Just a phone or map. It's up to you.

[Ghost]

.

[sea_dragon]

No shit, girls who use online dating are hideous and ugly. The ones who are attractive don't bother with online dating because they can get men instantly.