Initially fascinated by Chinese women and now turned off?

[GooMacgle]

Anyone else initially fascinated by Chinese women and is now turned off by them?

I just finished breaking it off with probably my 12th - and maybe final - Chinese lady over the course of the last 3 years. All of them born in China with 75% of them living in either the US, Canada, or UK, and 25% of them still living in China. I like them a little older, so they have all been in either their 30s or early 40s since many Chinese women seem to age very well. Couple of observations:

- They all have this "Chinese Way", sorta like a Chinese way of thinking, which initially I found pretty interesting with all of it's wisdom from 1,000s of years of Chinese history. Now I find that this Chinese way seems to make them very predictable and even somewhat rigid. Example: many of these women have a certain Chinese way of eating and living which mainly has served them well even when they live outside of China. This Chinese way is often a healthier lifestyle than the typical American lifestyle which initially to me was pretty interesting. However I recently took one of my Chinese beauties with me to Texas for a long "Texan" style weekend vacation and exploration. Instead of going with the flow and experiencing new things for her like Texas BBQ brisket, Tex-Mex, gulf style cajun seafood, cornbread, crawfish "mudbugs", alligator, prickly pear cactus, sweet tea, and other Texas delicacies, she just got totally hung up in her Chinese way and only ate seafood and vegetables, ignoring the Texas style food. Why even take a trip to an area with a different cuisine if you refuse to even sample it because it doesn't fit the Chinese way?

- Most of the Chinese ladies (not all) have this focus being highly practical and focused on their future goals most all times. This serves them well in their professional lives and many of the Chinese women I dated have had great success in medicine, dentistry, finance, and the law which as a professional guy myself, I actually enjoy. However now the turnoff comes for me when it's time to just let down your hair and enjoy some fun times, many of the Chinese ladies I have dated have had a lot of difficulty with this. Example, just the simple act of picking a movie to go see turns into a conversation about how the Spiderman movie is childish and just fantasy and The Other Woman movie must mean that I have intentions of seeing other women. Unless it's practical or educational, the activity is simply humored by the Chinese women I've dated. Where are the easygoing Chinese ladies? This same intense focus on practicality and their future goals is also what seems to make some of them very money oriented when it goes too far.

- All of the Chinese women I've dated have a lot of difficulty accepting their own shortfalls or mistakes, but seem to relish in pointing out the shortfalls and mistakes in others. I generally like a woman who speaks her mind, but over time I have found this "self righteous" behavior very annoying. The Chinese women I've dated are quick to tell you when you make a mistake and can talk for hours about how you violated the Chinese way with your behavior, but if you point out their mistake or foolish behavior often because they do not understand the American way, their temper flares and they no longer want to discuss anything. This short temper behavior grows weary after time.

- All of the Chinese women I have dated are beautiful physically, at least to me, which has been one of my weaknesses with them, however I'm finding more and more that they have become spoiled by how American men treat them because of their beauty. Example after going salsa dancing with my latest Chinese beauty recently, we were dancing 1 on 1 all night, but after another Asian female asked to salsa dance with me, which I turned down, my now jealous Chinese beauty reminded me that if I wanted to dance with other women, that she would have the guys all lined up to dance with her because of her beauty and that I would be watching her dance with other men all night. This led to another argument since I don't take to threats or ultimatums very easily, but it reminded me of yet another reason that my fascination with Chinese women is dying off.

No doubt about it, much of this post is influenced by me just breaking it off with my lastest Chinese beauty, but given my experiences with Chinese women who initially fascinated me, I'm starting to really get turned off by Chinese women. Anyone else have a similar experience?

[royalism]

a lot about what you said seems to apply to FEMALES IN GENERAL, not just Chinese women.

[zboy1]

Anyone else initially fascinated by Chinese women and is now turned off by them?

I just finished breaking it off with probably my 12th - and maybe final - Chinese lady over the course of the last 3 years. All of them born in China with 75% of them living in either the US, Canada, or UK, and 25% of them still living in China. I like them a little older, so they have all been in either their 30s or early 40s since many Chinese women seem to age very well. Couple of observations:

- They all have this "Chinese Way", sorta like a Chinese way of thinking, which initially I found pretty interesting with all of it's wisdom from 1,000s of years of Chinese history. Now I find that this Chinese way seems to make them very predictable and even somewhat rigid. Example: many of these women have a certain Chinese way of eating and living which mainly has served them well even when they live outside of China. This Chinese way is often a healthier lifestyle than the typical American lifestyle which initially to me was pretty interesting. However I recently took one of my Chinese beauties with me to Texas for a long "Texan" style weekend vacation and exploration. Instead of going with the flow and experiencing new things for her like Texas BBQ brisket, Tex-Mex, gulf style cajun seafood, cornbread, crawfish "mudbugs", alligator, prickly pear cactus, sweet tea, and other Texas delicacies, she just got totally hung up in her Chinese way and only ate seafood and vegetables, ignoring the Texas style food. Why even take a trip to an area with a different cuisine if you refuse to even sample it because it doesn't fit the Chinese way?

- Most of the Chinese ladies (not all) have this focus being highly practical and focused on their future goals most all times. This serves them well in their professional lives and many of the Chinese women I dated have had great success in medicine, dentistry, finance, and the law which as a professional guy myself, I actually enjoy. However now the turnoff comes for me when it's time to just let down your hair and enjoy some fun times, many of the Chinese ladies I have dated have had a lot of difficulty with this. Example, just the simple act of picking a movie to go see turns into a conversation about how the Spiderman movie is childish and just fantasy and The Other Woman movie must mean that I have intentions of seeing other women. Unless it's practical or educational, the activity is simply humored by the Chinese women I've dated. Where are the easygoing Chinese ladies? This same intense focus on practicality and their future goals is also what seems to make some of them very money oriented when it goes too far.

- All of the Chinese women I've dated have a lot of difficulty accepting their own shortfalls or mistakes, but seem to relish in pointing out the shortfalls and mistakes in others. I generally like a woman who speaks her mind, but over time I have found this "self righteous" behavior very annoying. The Chinese women I've dated are quick to tell you when you make a mistake and can talk for hours about how you violated the Chinese way with your behavior, but if you point out their mistake or foolish behavior often because they do not understand the American way, their temper flares and they no longer want to discuss anything. This short temper behavior grows weary after time.

- All of the Chinese women I have dated are beautiful physically, at least to me, which has been one of my weaknesses with them, however I'm finding more and more that they have become spoiled by how American men treat them because of their beauty. Example after going salsa dancing with my latest Chinese beauty recently, we were dancing 1 on 1 all night, but after another Asian female asked to salsa dance with me, which I turned down, my now jealous Chinese beauty reminded me that if I wanted to dance with other women, that she would have the guys all lined up to dance with her because of her beauty and that I would be watching her dance with other men all night. This led to another argument since I don't take to threats or ultimatums very easily, but it reminded me of yet another reason that my fascination with Chinese women is dying off.

No doubt about it, much of this post is influenced by me just breaking it off with my lastest Chinese beauty, but given my experiences with Chinese women who initially fascinated me, I'm starting to really get turned off by Chinese women. Anyone else have a similar experience?

Yup! My observations of the Chinese women I've dated seem to match your experiences too.

That's why I've recently turned to Filipina girls instead of Chinese girls for marriage.

[xiongmao]

Yes I found much the same.

My first Chinese gf ended up marrying an American dude and went to live in America. But I don't think she ever eats American food.

Another Chinese girl thought it really weird that I would take photos of everyday life in China.

I thought she was weird not knowing about a huge night market less than a mile from her house.

I was helping an English teacher in Guangzhou, and he was trying to get the Chinese students interested in parties. But Chinese girls don't party!

Thai girls DO party however, and most of them managed to get themselves expelled from their Chinese University on-campus accommodation. I found that really funny.

One afternoon I was in my Chinese class and two of the Thai girls turned up 30 minutes late and were dressed in really slutty clothes.

I found that also very funny.

[In Thailand's defence, a Thai national came first in our class.]

[fschmidt]

I never dated Chinese women, but I agree with them on every point of the list. Specifically:

- There is no reason that they should have interest in other cultures since most cultures, especially American culture, are shit.

- Practical is better than frivolous.

- They should judge based on Chinese culture which has lasted for thousands of years and ignore the American way which is utterly worthless.

- They are right to warn you of the risks of them being in a country where they are in extreme demand, which is why you probably shouldn't take them salsa dancing.

If there is a flaw in Chinese women, it is that they fail to impart their culture to their children in America because this is only possible through religion, which they lack.

[TopSpruce]

If there is a flaw in Chinese women, it is that they fail to impart their culture to their children in America because this is only possible through religion, which they lack.

And what about the Christians? Latinos are becoming atheist at a record rate.

And what about the Jews? Jews are intermarrying, becoming atheist, and will soon exist only in Israel and Jewish exclaves. The orthodox are doing better though.

What about the Hindus and Muslims? Not sure...but perhaps they are doing better in passing on their religion, maybe especially so for the muslims.

So, ultra conservative muslims and jews are doing well in passing on their religion. Its either convert to Judaism and live in the haredi community in Israel, or convert to Islam and live in the more conservative countries of the Islamic world..

Unfortunately, the Haredi seem to be succumbing to the modern world (http://forward.com/articles/139391/in-i ... ing-fewer/).
The Islamic world, by virtue of being much larger, and Africa will probably hold out for longer.

[fschmidt]

Modern Christians and Liberal Jews are part of modern culture, so they have nothing worth preserving. Orthodox Jews and the few traditional Christian sects like traditional Anabaptists are able to preserve their culture. I don't know enough about Hindus and Muslims to comment on them.

[GooMacgle]

I never dated Chinese women, but I agree with them on every point of the list. Specifically:

- There is no reason that they should have interest in other cultures since most cultures, especially American culture, are shit.

- Practical is better than frivolous.

- They should judge based on Chinese culture which has lasted for thousands of years and ignore the American way which is utterly worthless.

- They are right to warn you of the risks of them being in a country where they are in extreme demand, which is why you probably shouldn't take them salsa dancing.

If there is a flaw in Chinese women, it is that they fail to impart their culture to their children in America because this is only possible through religion, which they lack.

Very succinct and accurate summary fschmidt! Chinese women I know seem to have this lack of interest in anything that is not Chinese due to their 1,000s of years of history. American guys giving them so much attention due to their beauty only feeds their culturally superior view of themselves. Makes you wonder what they really think about American men. One of my Chinese beauties once told me that ideally she could find a Chinese man with all the characteristics she was looking for, but absent that, she would settle down with a western man in order to pursue her life goals. It's all coming into focus better for me now.

[droid]

- They are right to warn you of the risks of them being in a country where they are in extreme demand, which is why you probably shouldn't take them salsa dancing.

Haha so true. Why some guys insist on importing their lamb to the starving wolves is beyond me.

[MrPeabody]

Not eating what Americans call food sounds pretty intelligent to me. And she isn't going to get fat eating seafood and vegetables. This seems like a positive feature.

[GooMacgle]

Not eating what Americans call food sounds pretty intelligent to me. And she isn't going to get fat eating seafood and vegetables. This seems like a positive feature.

There is no debate that most American food is junk, but no one said make a constant diet of it. At least have some flexibility to just try it out - Texan food in this case - and experience a different culture. It would be like going to Italy for the first time and sticking to the same boring salad at every meal and totally ignoring the Italian food because you view that your way of eating is so superior to any other culture. The total lack of flexibility because you are stuck in your own self righteous culture is what makes Chinese women very ugly and so much of a turn off for me these days. If you like self righteous, judgmental, short tempered, culturally rigid women, then have at it.

[Winston]

How do you meet these Chinese ladies? I would like to meet some too.

Are they mainland Chinese or Taiwanese? Or from Hong Kong?

Why are you breaking up with them? Who is initiating the breakup? Chinese women are very judgmental and fault finding.

[MrPeabody]

Not eating what Americans call food sounds pretty intelligent to me. And she isn't going to get fat eating seafood and vegetables. This seems like a positive feature.

There is no debate that most American food is junk, but no one said make a constant diet of it. At least have some flexibility to just try it out - Texan food in this case - and experience a different culture. It would be like going to Italy for the first time and sticking to the same boring salad at every meal and totally ignoring the Italian food because you view that your way of eating is so superior to any other culture. The total lack of flexibility because you are stuck in your own self righteous culture is what makes Chinese women very ugly and so much of a turn off for me these days. If you like self righteous, judgmental, short tempered, culturally rigid women, then have at it.

Asking someone to eat food they don't want to eat is an unfair imposition. It's like telling someone they should at least try to smoke once or they are narrow minded. I wouldn't eat that crap either. Chinese women may be narrow minded, but another example would be more convincing.

[GooMacgle]

How do you meet these Chinese ladies? I would like to meet some too.

Are they mainland Chinese or Taiwanese? Or from Hong Kong?

Why are you breaking up with them? Who is initiating the breakup? Chinese women are very judgmental and fault finding.

Winston,

I met the vast bulk of them on CLL, but also met a few in person through introductions, and a few through one of the travel dating sites (which I would not recommend btw). They were all born in Mainland China and 4 still live in China and 8 of them now live in either the US, Canada, or the UK. They were all highly educated doctors, dentists, lawyers, or financial types which is what I'm attracted to - frankly I really dig their look and their professional orientation, but I'm starting to really dislike their narrow mindedness and their self righteous judgmental nature. I broke up with all of them (just call me a slow learner) - a few because their materialism was too much for me, but most because they were too culturally rigid - everything had to be the "Chinese way" with little to no flexibility for any other view. This cultural rigidity was sometimes accompanied by a really short temper which made it worse. I believe good relationships are about give and take, not everything being just one way all the time.

[Winston]

How do you meet these Chinese ladies? I would like to meet some too.

Are they mainland Chinese or Taiwanese? Or from Hong Kong?

Why are you breaking up with them? Who is initiating the breakup? Chinese women are very judgmental and fault finding.

Winston,

I met the vast bulk of them on CLL, but also met a few in person through introductions, and a few through one of the travel dating sites (which I would not recommend btw). They were all born in Mainland China and 4 still live in China and 8 of them now live in either the US, Canada, or the UK. They were all highly educated doctors, dentists, lawyers, or financial types which is what I'm attracted to - frankly I really dig their look and their professional orientation, but I'm starting to really dislike their narrow mindedness and their self righteous judgmental nature. I broke up with all of them (just call me a slow learner) - a few because their materialism was too much for me, but most because they were too culturally rigid - everything had to be the "Chinese way" with little to no flexibility for any other view. This cultural rigidity was sometimes accompanied by a really short temper which made it worse. I believe good relationships are about give and take, not everything being just one way all the time.

Then the problem is obvious. Stop choosing Chinese ladies who are doctors and dentists. Those types are very career oriented and will raise their family the same way in a highly regimented manner. Why don't you try to find Chinese ladies who are good looking and more open minded? Forget their education.

I think in general, it will be hard to relate to Chinese women unless you are very materialistic and career-oriented like they are. You might be able to find some with a hippie mentality, but that will be harder.

The materialistic career-oriented types will raise their kids the same way, in a high strict regimented style where the goal is for them to go to Stanford or Berkeley and become doctors and engineers. It's really stupid, but that is their way.