Do you get the sense that Americans don't like other people?

[Winston]

I just had a deep realization and observation that I want to share with you all.

Do you ever get the sense being around Americans, that deep down inside, they do not like other people? You sort of get this sense from their vibe, body language, etc. You can feel it instinctively too.

You get the sense that they only tolerate and humor others when they have to, but deep down they'd rather not if they don't have to.

It's like when you are around them, they may put up a polite face to you, but deep down they can't wait til you leave or go away. You ever feel that? They put out this very antisocial vibe. You can feel it in your instinct and intuition.

They may like those in their immediately family or their close friends. But they seem to have an aversion to anyone outside of that, and with any stranger in general.

For example, when Americans sit on a bus or in the park, they try to find a spot that's furthest from others. And in campgrounds, they always try to put their RV or tent in a spot that's furthest from others. It's as if by default, they prefer privacy and their own space rather than the company of others.

Perhaps this explains why Americans tend to act very fake and artificial when socializing or talking to others. You see, deep down they prefer to avoid other people. But if they have to put up with others, they will put up this artificial front to be socially acceptable. This fake exterior they put up is artificial and plastic because it does not represent their true selves, which is antisocial and adverse toward others. See what I mean?

You see, if they really enjoyed meeting people and liked other people in general, then they could just put out their true selves and be more authentic and genuine while socializing with others. But since they do not like other people fundamentally, they have to put out a fake self toward others to mask their inherent dislike of others.

Do you see what I mean? Does that make sense? Of course, if you are an attractive girl, you will probably not notice this as much as if you are a guy.

The negative consequence of this is that if you are around other Americans, who inherently do not like other people, it will rub off on you. You will MIRROR their internal dislike of others, and begin to dislike others yourself. In other words, when you are around people who don't like other people, you will feel the same way back toward them. To put it another way, when you are around antisocial people, you become antisocial yourself. That's the unfortunate consequence. And this is true even if you are a social person or people person who likes to meet other people. You can't help but mirror their attitude. You know what I mean?

Plus the toxic personality of most Americans will make you feel like avoiding them as well.

Have any of you ever realized this or noticed it?

It's pretty sad when you think about it, because it is obviously socially unhealthy and unnatural to fundamentally dislike other people, yet that's how most Americans are. Thus this is another way in which Americans are unhealthy and unnatural, among many other ways.

Sucks doesn't it?

In contrast, what I've noticed is that when you are in a foreign country where people are more open, warm and social toward strangers, you soon stop disliking others. Instead, you mirror the people in that foreign country and begin enjoying the company of other people, who also enjoy the company of others themselves.

The result of this has a positive impact on you. Obviously since humans are social beings, it is far more socially healthy and natural to like other people and enjoy the company of others. Thus the social atmosphere of such countries is much more healthy and natural overall, which leads to you becoming happier abroad as well.

Have any of you ever noticed this while abroad in a friendlier country that you are happier in?

[targetguy]

I have been a victim of satellite terrorism for years and people are made to act rude etc because of this. The usa actually pays live paid operators to ruin peoples lives using these track on to cell and radio satanic devices with live paid operators. There are enough problems in the world without this but it is the reason I would like to live abroad. I think the hate comes from things like this and the rich getting richer and the middle class becoming poorer with each generation. My guess is half of the people here are working and the other half are either retired disable or on welfare and for those working they are not happy with the loafer who are not and is one reason for this hatred of other americans. Noother society will reward these welfare mothers for having as many kids as they want and more for each one. illegitimate children are not seen as a good thing in most societys other then usa.

[Sarita]

I really like your observations about this. What this got me thinking, however, was this: given that those of us living in the U.S. are subject to living this way (afraid of people, away from people, etc.), doesn't this required way of living affect us emotionally and psychologically? And doesn't this harm the body in the long run? I'm not trying to stray from the topic, but I'll bet this emotional and physical isolation is to blame for a lot if not most psychological illnesses and subsequently some physical ones.

[johny_quest]

I really like your observations about this. What this got me thinking, however, was this: given that those of us living in the U.S. are subject to living this way (afraid of people, away from people, etc.), doesn't this required way of living affect us emotionally and psychologically? And doesn't this harm the body in the long run? I'm not trying to stray from the topic, but I'll bet this emotional and physical isolation is to blame for a lot if not most psychological illnesses and subsequently some physical ones.

Yes, the health problems are real. "Skin hunger" is one of the problems caused by being socially isolated and not having enough physical contact with others, which can cause a slew of other health problems. In the movie Midnight Express, the American character Billy Hayes alludes to this phenomenon during his time in a Turkish prison. He describes the loneliness as a pain that you feel over your whole body. I believe he's talking about what is now termed skin hunger. In that film, the heterosexual Billy Hayes becomes intimate with another man because the skin hunger is so great that he craves physical contact.

[S_Parc]

Yes, the health problems are real. "Skin hunger" is one of the problems caused by being socially isolated and not having enough physical contact with others, which can cause a slew of other health problems. In the movie Midnight Express, the American character Billy Hayes alludes to this phenomenon during his time in a Turkish prison. He describes the loneliness as a pain that you feel over your whole body. I believe he's talking about what is now termed skin hunger. In that film, the heterosexual Billy Hayes becomes intimate with another man because the skin hunger is so great that he craves physical contact.

I'd almost forgotten about that movie; that was a great film.

As for skin hunger, massage and erotic massage, when done in Canada, not the USA w/ the gestapo Police, is a great treatment.

[Winston]

I really like your observations about this. What this got me thinking, however, was this: given that those of us living in the U.S. are subject to living this way (afraid of people, away from people, etc.), doesn't this required way of living affect us emotionally and psychologically? And doesn't this harm the body in the long run? I'm not trying to stray from the topic, but I'll bet this emotional and physical isolation is to blame for a lot if not most psychological illnesses and subsequently some physical ones.

Thanks. Yes of course having negative thoughts and emotions will affect your health. Science has proven a mind-body connection long ago. That's why America is unhealthy psychologically, not just physically.

Have you also noticed that people here don't just dislike others, but are highly judgmental as well? Especially young people. Have you ever walked by a group of young people sitting together, while they stared at you with a very judgmental shallow gaze as though they were looking down on you and thinking that you're some type of creep or weirdo? The vibe they emanate when they do that feels very creepy. Have you noticed that? It happens especially if you're alone and they are in a group.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

In Toronto, Canada just 10 years ago, people would wait until you cross straight at the yellow-pedestrian lanes. But then in 2007, the last time I was there, people started passing by almost running me over (Maybe they were Americans whom moved there with their driving in-the-rush habits or Torontonians picked up the Ameri-driving vibe finally)

Also, in when taking the TTC bus and TTC trains, I had FOB Chinese women sit next to me without any complications....some of them fine as hell (and THERE WERE OTHER MORE, DISTANT SEATS ON THE BUS AND TRAIN! )

[bambam]

I know what you mean, Winston, I have felt the same way.

When I lived in the USA I thought "Well, Americans don't like me and don't want me because Im Mexican and because they dislike Mexicans very much, so I knew that before coming here, so no surprise, I accept that, so its ok it's their country, its their land, their rules and they have all the right to be like this"

However, soon after I discovered they didn't like each other as well, even among white american people, they didn't befriend or thrust on each other.

At night I took the bus from College to home and in many occasions I met a white American guy, he was usually a bit drunk, he seemed to drink heavy after office hours and before going home. He was very friendly to me. He tried to speak to other white Americans but nobody was interested.

Actually, one time he approached another american guy and this other guy asked the driver for help. The driver stopped the bus and asked the drunk american to leave the bus.

I said, give him a chance, this is the last bus on schedule, he will need to walk or take a taxi which is very hard to get at this time at night. The driver (a white american guy) angrily told me "this is not your business". I felt like "you shut up you third world citizen you don't have a word here in the US"

The drunk american refused to leave the bus so the driver threatened with calling Police, then the drunk guy said "ok, ok, Im leaving, just don't call Police, please"

And all this because one guy disliked the drunk guy.

He was a nice guy, really, he was not a problem

[ladislav]

Why is it in the Philippines, when you mention Amerikanos, an endearining, awe-filled smile appears on people's faces.

Americans are so friendly! They're warm. We love Americans. We love them very much.

Surely after so much contact with Americans, these Filipinos would think otherwise. Particularly Filipinos who come from a very warm and communal culture.

In Saudi Arabia, even the King was talking about the "friendly American people".

WTF is going on?

[ntm1972]

I forget the source, but someone once said "The opposite of goodness is not evil, but use." In other words, viewing other people as objects to be used, rather than as human beings worthy of affection and compassion, with no hope of tangible gain from the demonstration of such.

This sums up Americans' social shortcomings as much as any other explanation. Americans are taught to use, rather than cherish. Consequently, if someone isn't seen as useful, he or she is despised. My eighteen months abroad were psychologically rejuvenating for the simple fact that I realized that I had inherent value, a revelation that one can't count on having in the U.S.

Threads like this motivate me to get back out there again as soon as possible, to places where human warmth is displayed with no strings attached.

[johny_quest]

I forget the source, but someone once said "The opposite of goodness is not evil, but use." In other words, viewing other people as objects to be used, rather than as human beings worthy of affection and compassion, with no hope of tangible gain from the demonstration of such.

This sums up Americans' social shortcomings as much as any other explanation. Americans are taught to use, rather than cherish. Consequently, if someone isn't seen as useful, he or she is despised. My eighteen months abroad were psychologically rejuvenating for the simple fact that I realized that I had inherent value, a revelation that one can't count on having in the U.S.

Threads like this motivate me to get back out there again as soon as possible, to places where human warmth is displayed with no strings attached.

There are no places left on the planet where human warmth is displayed with no strings attached. Everybody is now part of the global economic system. Meaning, people are only interested in your money--not you as a person.

[ntm1972]

There are no places left on the planet where human warmth is displayed with no strings attached. Everybody is now part of the global economic system. Meaning, people are only interested in your money--not you as a person.

I disagree, based on personal experience, with your axiom. Yes, what you say is largely true, particularly in metropolitan areas worldwide. But I had several pleasant interactions with others abroad, ones in which money was not a consideration on either person's part. You have to get out of the Western world to see this goodness in action, but it's there.

[Sarita]

I have indeed. When groups get together here, they are exclusionary (unless they're church groups, and then they're recruitment factories, hoping to make one conform to the group, as in the military). Look at what happens in school with bullying. It's generally not a group bullying another group. It's a group bullying 1 person. And it's great that you use the term, "shallow." What permeates it all is that ubiquitous shallowness, of gaze, of discussion, of views, of thoughts, of entertainment, of everything. It actually scares me a lot to think of this. Maybe that's why people get into drugs and all - to mentally escape how terrifying it actually is?

I really like your observations about this. What this got me thinking, however, was this: given that those of us living in the U.S. are subject to living this way (afraid of people, away from people, etc.), doesn't this required way of living affect us emotionally and psychologically? And doesn't this harm the body in the long run? I'm not trying to stray from the topic, but I'll bet this emotional and physical isolation is to blame for a lot if not most psychological illnesses and subsequently some physical ones.

Thanks. Yes of course having negative thoughts and emotions will affect your health. Science has proven a mind-body connection long ago. That's why America is unhealthy psychologically, not just physically.

Have you also noticed that people here don't just dislike others, but are highly judgmental as well? Especially young people. Have you ever walked by a group of young people sitting together, while they stared at you with a very judgmental shallow gaze as though they were looking down on you and thinking that you're some type of creep or weirdo? The vibe they emanate when they do that feels very creepy. Have you noticed that? It happens especially if you're alone and they are in a group.

[Sarita]

Sad to hear that.

In Toronto, Canada just 10 years ago, people would wait until you cross straight at the yellow-pedestrian lanes. But then in 2007, the last time I was there, people started passing by almost running me over (Maybe they were Americans whom moved there with their driving in-the-rush habits or Torontonians picked up the Ameri-driving vibe finally)

Also, in when taking the TTC bus and TTC trains, I had FOB Chinese women sit next to me without any complications....some of them fine as hell (and THERE WERE OTHER MORE, DISTANT SEATS ON THE BUS AND TRAIN! )

[Sarita]

I know what you mean.

And even where it's not a matter of hugs, there is that isolation that involves not being to depend upon or rely upon anyone else except oneself - that "pull yourself up by your bootstraps or you're a worthless whatever" sort of attitude. Everyone here is ultimately alone in every way. In other countries, family and friends are there for one when things get difficult. Here? Not really. The system itself makes it impossible, and it's not "the way" of the U.S. to be there to catch others when they fall.

I really like your observations about this. What this got me thinking, however, was this: given that those of us living in the U.S. are subject to living this way (afraid of people, away from people, etc.), doesn't this required way of living affect us emotionally and psychologically? And doesn't this harm the body in the long run? I'm not trying to stray from the topic, but I'll bet this emotional and physical isolation is to blame for a lot if not most psychological illnesses and subsequently some physical ones.

Yes, the health problems are real. "Skin hunger" is one of the problems caused by being socially isolated and not having enough physical contact with others, which can cause a slew of other health problems. In the movie Midnight Express, the American character Billy Hayes alludes to this phenomenon during his time in a Turkish prison. He describes the loneliness as a pain that you feel over your whole body. I believe he's talking about what is now termed skin hunger. In that film, the heterosexual Billy Hayes becomes intimate with another man because the skin hunger is so great that he craves physical contact.