Is marriage natural or unnatural?

[jamesbond]

Here is a good video talking about marriage and how it benefits women much more so than men.

[nicho12]

Hi all,
I was wondering something. How do you all feel about the institution of marriage, which is inherently binding, commitment-oriented, and thus technically the antithesis of freedom?

Frankly, I've always felt that there was something "unnatural" about an artificial contract binding two people together for life. I mean, love itself should be enough for two people to be together, but why does it require a government contract to bind you for the rest of your life? It seems like being chained or imprisoned for life.

Yet you are supposed to want this, and taught that you are "incomplete" without it. It doesn't make sense and seems like madness to me.

Plus, marriage doesn't take into mind the reality that people change their mind and evolve in different directions, they are mutable not fixed, and therefore a union may not be forever. So in a sense, marriage is attempting to control human nature and resist change, which is totally unnatural of course. Isn't the key to success adapting to change?

Yet people are conditioned to want the lifetime commitment of marriage, and see it as a natural part of life, or else they will be unfulfilled. It's ironic and I don't get it. But most people buy into it.

Of course, I'm afraid to tell others this, especially people who are conservative, square, and follow the established order of things, because as you know, it's a "taboo thought" to think this way, even if it makes sense.

Furthermore, I think that to be locked to one person for life and have 3 billion other choices eliminated from your life for good, takes away all of the adventure, experiences, joy and variety in life. It would be like being forced to eat nothing but pepperoni pizza everyday for the rest of your life. At first it'll be good, but after a while you'll get tired of it, feel imprisoned for losing your freedom and choices, and lose out on all the other wonderful foods out there besides pepperoni pizza. That would be a sad tragedy.

Why am I so different than everyone? I often feel like I'm in a "Twilight Zone" and the only one that thinks for himself and doesn't follow the pack.

In Taiwan, where I am now, you are seen as incomplete if not married, for it considered one of the milestones of "normal life" that everyone follows.

Any thoughts or comments?

PS - I've noticed that the times I've wanted to be married the most were when I was desperately lonely. But when I'm not lonely, I see no need for it.

Winston, that's why we are humans and not animals, think of a family like an organ in your body, your body has different organs like the heart, liver, brain etc working together to make sure that you live happily, now imagine if nature decided to give each of those body organs the freedom to do what they want, each organ would run off in a separate direction, or the organs would compete with each other for limited resource like blood and you would end up dieing within a short period of time. Now think of your body like a society, marriage between two couples is like a single body organ, if everyone decided not to get married and have children then society would sink out of sight, a very good example is what is happening in the west, go to any ghetto and see what single motherhood does to a society

[Jester]

I think marriage should be "leased" nowadays rather than permanent with a divorce option. I think I read somewhere that marriages need around 7 years to either break up or become more permanent. So why don't we just have marriages where they are good for 7 years and then after that time period the contract expires and the two people can either renew their vows for another 7 or go their separate ways?

This the tradition in some Black African countries, including Ethiopia I think it's more like 2 or 3 years for a trial shacking-up.

The whole thing is socially acceptable, and fairly standard.

[fschmidt]

This the tradition in some Black African countries, including Ethiopia I think it's more like 2 or 3 years for a trial shacking-up.

The whole thing is socially acceptable, and fairly standard.

Great, let's just copy Black Africa. Let's prove Cornfed wrong about race by lowering American culture to the level of Black Africa.

[Taco]

To be a husband is to love, protect, and provide for his wife and family.

Once children enters the scene, the needs of the child comes before your own. i.e. the baby cannot feed itself or change diapers. It's all up to you.

Men desire marriages because he can lay claim to his bride (represented by the ring today) and exclusive access to her sexually, and have children that are of his genes to carry his family name and title.

Is marriage natural? Looking back at human history, I'd say that it's definitely a social norm. If you're not interested in committing to a marriage, so be it -- it's a personal choice and not anyone else's business.
.

I agree, humans evolved with marriage. Children have a greater chance of surviving to adulthood if they have both a mother and father raising them. If our parents did not get married most of us would not be here.

The US marriage rate is now at an all time low and so is the US birth rate. As women become more promiscuous the rate of marriage declined. Every guy loves a slut but no one want to marry one. Most women in western countries are unmarriable. Most guys in western countries have no interest in getting married.

[pandabear]

You might like Christopher Ryan's book.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

The very fact marriage triggers government involvement and it is enforced by government institutions like the courts, means it is unnatural.

Coupling up is natural, marriage is state-sponsored coercive action.

[jamesbond]

The very fact marriage triggers government involvement and it is enforced by government institutions like the courts, means it is unnatural.

Coupling up is natural, marriage is state-sponsored coercive action.

Exactly, Tom Leykis said the same thing. Why does the government have to get involved with the institution of marriage?

[Cornfed]

As humans were probably genetically engineered, there is probably no real natural state for us - certainly not within the context of agricultural/industrial society, which is always imposed. However, like other aspects of traditional society, marriage works better and leads to a more efficient society than other arrangements, so it is natural that it should be imposed in the same way it is natural that flying airliners sober rather than falling down drunk is imposed.