Another shooting in the US.

[MarcosZeitola]

Meanwhile I am 23 and already found and married my perfect Asian lady.

At least the guy has plans. Its good to always have plans and something to dream about\hope for. Without that we'd all go insane sooner or later.

Well, good for you. I assume you're from the US (Spain?) and living in the Philippines with your girl. That's all it takes, at the end of the day. A bit of initiative and the courage to drop the anti-world attitude and chill.

I am European and met a Filipina girl two years my junior on the internet. We met and fell in love. Now we are married and we have a daughter together. I am working hard to be able to buy a bigger house for us to live in, but the cost of housing and living in the provinces there is quite doable to say the least. I don't care about Western society all that much and I am not a materialistic person. And here's the catch: neither is my significant other! You hear a lot nastiness here about how all women are the same, blablabla. Maybe a lot of Western women are like that but abroad you can still find women who are different. Having found one of those I an say: yes, it is possible and YES, it is quite enjoyable!

The likes of Elliot Rodger have way more money then me or anyone in my family ever had or ever will have which is why they are so infuriating. All he needed was one ticket to Manila and a few bus rides into the country. It's really not rocket science.

It takes initiative, yes. It takes a chill attitude, yes. And yes, it is doable. Very, very doable. I hope to see more of that optimism here.

I am European (Italian), too. This explains a lot more than you can imagine. From what I have seen and learned on here, scores of US men have been badly burned or even traumatised by the faux-feminist, bitchy attitude of their girls, from high school to divorce court. Whatever they do and say reflect this bitterness and mistrust.

I believe we Europeans, especially us Southern Europeans, are lot more chilled and don't see relating to woman in such a confrontational way. I once heard someone say Americans see relationships like a war that has to be either won (by them) or lost (to the other). Italians see relationships like a dance, to be played and enjoyed together, if for a short time and with a few bad steps every now and then.

If you see a relationship like a war, to be won or lost, you already lost. Because if she loses and you wins, you're happy and she's miserable. If she wins and you loses it's the other way around. In the end, nobody wants to lose. That should never be the objective. In a healthy relationship you both win!

They say when you make love you have to be conquered a little bit, and you have to be the conqueror too. These things go hand in hand. You want to be happy? Make your lady happy, and she will in her turn, make you happy. That is how I see relationships. I don't see them as one partner using the other. It can never be one-sided. One-sided relationships are unhealthy. Whether it be an American woman taking advantage of a Western man, or a Western man taking advantage of a foreign woman. There has to be some common ground. You need to both be a little better off for being together then how you were before you got together. Make it worth her while, and she will make it worth yours. Giving and taking. It's kind of a tired old cliche but in my experience it is true. And the most important of all: never go to bed with unresolved issues! No lingering issues between you two. Always talk things over, and only when fixed to your mutual satisfaction should a day end. Otherwise it will be the relationship that ends.

And yes, to be relaxed is very important. Patience and relaxation are key words here. It's not for the stressed, the insecure, the control freaks. They say there is someone for everyone but sometimes your attitude going in is already flawed and needs to be worked on first.

That you're only 23 and already married, with a kid and planning to live in the Philippines for good, is quite impressive. I am not being polemic here, but I can't help seeing that, on the "happier abroad" path, you're far ahead of members twice your age.

Felicitaciones por esta nueva etapa tu vida!

I try to keep my priorities straigt, my mind open and keep myself active and busy. I am also a firm believer in not waiting too long with things you know you truly want and desire. Because life is short and it can end any minute. So why wait doing the things I've always known myself to have dreamed of doing?

Thanks! Gracias.

[Jester]

I try to keep my priorities straigt, my mind open and keep myself active and busy. I am also a firm believer in not waiting too long with things you know you truly want and desire. Because life is short and it can end any minute. So why wait doing the things I've always known myself to have dreamed of doing?

Nice.

[NorthAmericanguy]

If you see a relationship like a war, to be won or lost, you already lost. Because if she loses and you wins, you're happy and she's miserable. If she wins and you loses it's the other way around. In the end, nobody wants to lose. That should never be the objective. In a healthy relationship you both win!

They say when you make love you have to be conquered a little bit, and you have to be the conqueror too. These things go hand in hand. You want to be happy? Make your lady happy, and she will in her turn, make you happy. That is how I see relationships. I don't see them as one partner using the other. It can never be one-sided. One-sided relationships are unhealthy. Whether it be an American woman taking advantage of a Western man, or a Western man taking advantage of a foreign woman. There has to be some common ground. You need to both be a little better off for being together then how you were before you got together. Make it worth her while, and she will make it worth yours. Giving and taking. It's kind of a tired old cliche but in my experience it is true. And the most important of all: never go to bed with unresolved issues! No lingering issues between you two. Always talk things over, and only when fixed to your mutual satisfaction should a day end. Otherwise it will be the relationship that ends.

And yes, to be relaxed is very important. Patience and relaxation are key words here. It's not for the stressed, the insecure, the control freaks. They say there is someone for everyone but sometimes your attitude going in is already flawed and needs to be worked on first.

I do want to agree with your thinking, but I would never try this with an American woman. With American women, it's war, and you have to draw a line in the sand or they will eat you alive.

I don't know about in other countries, but in this country, you can clearly see that in relationships, one person always dominates the relationship, and it's usually the person who is the most happiest who is in control.

Also, and interestingly, the women who were with men who made them feel "miserable" never left the men who made them feel so "miserable". If anything, the guys who ran around and did everything to make their women happy were the guys that eventually lost their women to guys who having a history of making women feel "miserable".

[NorthAmericanguy]

Public,

If you travel around, even at those old diners, coffee shops, etc, the senior citizens have their old buddies, discussing music or sporting events from the 1950s or 60s. At one of my favorite local bar/restaurants, there's one guy who's always alone and only the bartender makes conversation with him. Other patrons and waiting staff, fully ignore him. He's considered a 'creep' despite never having done anything. I presume that because he looks, 55-60 years of age, ppl think he's harmless but I guarantee that if he were let's say 25-45 years of age, ppl would be afraid that he were a psychopath.

I once knew someone, who'd developed dementia at an early age, like early 50s, probably because he didn't see his life as a success story and thus, started checking out early. So in place of being a creep, everywhere he went, ppl felt sorry for him. And sometimes, as his chaperone, I was considered a really *nice* guy for taking care of my *uncle* Everyone presumed that he was a relative and I didn't even try to dissuade anyone from that belief.

This is the world around me and I've basically accepted it. Socially speaking, if you don't have some rich inner world and the ability to compartmentalize your life, then you'll have some trouble, esp if your academics and/or career are not successful.

Elliot Rodgers, unlike me, only had parents who basically helped foot his bills. I'm sure that in his mind, he wasn't thinking of studying accounting/finance, getting internship at XYZ corp, passing certification exams, etc, and after getting that first paycheck, flying down to Costa Rica for a quickie at the Hotel DelRey. Instead, he was dreaming about romantic love and being accepted by some blonde bimbos, not even recognizing that they're bimbos.

If my mind were obsessed about that stuff, I would have committed suicide by ages 18-20. Instead, I'd built barriers against getting too close to others and focused on finding work, which would lead me to a successful outplacement in the future. Eventually, as I started traveling, I did explore those inner feelings and was able to become a more whole person, as I'd increased my separation from my parents & sister.

+1^^

Just want to add that in America, I actually know a lot of older women, and the one thing about all these older American women is that they have such deep and extended networks that they never let go of, and they're never truly ever alone unless everybody dies off.

Many older women I know have the same friends for even up to 40 years. Women only seem to fight over men, but once that's out of the way, they get along regardless of race or social class.

American men ditch their friends as soon as they get a woman, let alone get married, and from there they socialize through their women.

It's true about older guys being alone if they have no woman in their life. Over a certain age nobody notices you and you don't even matter anymore to anybody and you're seen as a creep. I see it when I look around and notice the older guys all by themselves and sometimes people deliberately sitting away from them, or moving when the older man comes around.

The only time I have seen an older woman by herself is the rare instance of an older black woman who seems to be poor. Other then that, I have never seen an older White/Asian women all by themselves looking for company. Older White/Asian women rent out bingo halls, go on cruises, and spend time in fancy country clubs gathering in the 100's to play games and gamble.

[djfourmoney]

Well for someone to want to be Happier Abroad implies bad blood with America. I think going to college the past five months and seeing how easy it would have been for me to get laid only made me even more bitter. Not because missed opportunity, but because it shouldn't be that easy. I realized even more how corrupt American society's become and it's made me cruel. PUAs are punishing those sluts and I applaud them for it. The simple answer is that I've become cruel. Like Tsar maybe.

I am have become a bitter and darker person, but I am a righteous person, which is why I would be the anti-villain in the plotline. All I want in life is my happy ending. I don't really care about the means as long as I get my happy ending and I keep my pride intact.

Jabberwocky: Nobody's born a monster. We're made. A product of a cruel world... filled with cruel people.
-From Once Upon a Time in Wonderland

What is your definition of a happy ending (besides the Thai massage parlor definition haha) and what are your ultimate life goals? Where do you see yourself in ten years from now, fifteen? And what are you willing\planning to do in order to get there as the anti-villain that you see yourself as?

To be fairly realistic the happy ending to my story includes:

1. Living abroad in Europe (Southern or Eastern).
2. Having at least one ideal girl. Marrying her as a virgin when she's 16.
3. Living in a beautiful villa with nice gardens.
4. Having a small business.
5. Able to have more leisure than work, and earning a passive income.
6. Completely retired by 50 or 55.

That way my life would be sort of like a fairy tale. I would have a princess and a good life.

1. Eastern Europe
2. One is plenty, under 18 won't happen by the time you get to them
3. Portugal
4. Better start now, takes a few years
5. See above (http://www.smartpassiveincome.com/; http://www.entrepreneuronfire.com/)
6. See above again

[djfourmoney]

I am presently 24. I see myself marrying the girl anytime once I find her and after anything I need verified is verified (so I know I'm getting the girl I want and not accepting a lie). I wouldn't have sex with a girl before marriage so I can show my honor and righteousness when I get famous and be on the moral high-ground if anyone called me out on it. Marrying her when she's 16 after one-three months of being with her would be enough time before marriage. Maybe 30 days dating, take her on a two week trip, show her exactly how great I am, and then marry her one week afterwards. 60 days would be enough time if she meets my standards. In arranged marriages the people might go into it as total strangers, so at least I would have selected my girl and known her for 45-90 days.

I would be open to children but it's not something I really think about too often. I know how I would raise them, and what values and morals I would teach them.

You have written rivers of inks detailing what your dreams are and what you want your love life to look like.

Not a single word I heard so far on how you plan to do it, let alone when. 24 means you're no longer a kid. You are able to work and save some money, or even work abroad if your degree and skills are on demand.


Like I said before, the amount of armchair tourism is one of the saddest things on HA.

Move your arse dude! In 10 years time you'll be still daydreaming about your virgin sweet 16 bride...

Meanwhile I am 23 and already found and married my perfect Asian lady.

At least the guy has plans. Its good to always have plans and something to dream about\hope for. Without that we'd all go insane sooner or later.

I have plans, things happen and it depends heavily on the amount of personal sacrifice you wanna make.

His plans are not clearly defined at all.

My problem the last couple of years is losing money without any means to make it back, delaying execution of my plan(s).

I mean he hasn't even taken baby steps. From where he is, a trip to London is fairly cheap. You can get R/T ticket, stay in a hostel and see all the important sites for about $700.

He could hit Dominican Republic for $400-$500 R/T, hang out on the beach and socialize with locals and other Westerners. Again an entire week can be done for less $1,000.

All this stuff is off-topic anyway but the truth is, execution is not easy unless you can overwhelm it with money.

Marcos has proven it can be done, he (Tsar) just needs to do it and stop making pronouncements about his desire to find a virgin.

[Tsar]

I have plans, things happen and it depends heavily on the amount of personal sacrifice you wanna make.

His plans are not clearly defined at all.

My problem the last couple of years is losing money without any means to make it back, delaying execution of my plan(s).

I mean he hasn't even taken baby steps. From where he is, a trip to London is fairly cheap. You can get R/T ticket, stay in a hostel and see all the important sites for about $700.

He could hit Dominican Republic for $400-$500 R/T, hang out on the beach and socialize with locals and other Westerners. Again an entire week can be done for less $1,000.

All this stuff is off-topic anyway but the truth is, execution is not easy unless you can overwhelm it with money.

Marcos has proven it can be done, he (Tsar) just needs to do it and stop making pronouncements about his desire to find a virgin.

It is impossible to be done if unemployed which is my situation. Without any good jobs in my state and without any work experience it's something that has a negative influence on my life. It would take about 3-4 months to save $1,000. Without any decent job and being unemployed it would be impossible to do anything, especially go abroad.

I live in the Kosovo of America. No opportunity and high unemployment. Relocating to another state is impossible without a job offer for a good paying job. Otherwise I would need to be homeless in another state while searching for a job.

It's not easy for someone in my generation, especially someone of my generation living in the Kosovo of America.

I don't think it is impossible to get a girl under than 18 by the time I go abroad. All that is needed is the desire to get one and shooting for the target age. Doug Hutchinson at 51 got a 16 year old American girl. Therefore I have no doubt about my success getting a 16 year old foreign girl.

[Tsar]

I mean he hasn't even taken baby steps. From where he is, a trip to London is fairly cheap. You can get R/T ticket, stay in a hostel and see all the important sites for about $700.

London isn't cheap. July 14, 2014 depature from Logan and a July 19, 2014 return flight from London with one stop, the cheapest flight for those dates would be $1561.47. Add other expenses, food, lodging, and whatever might be unexpected, and the fact that it costs more dollars to buy something in the U.K. relative to America, I would predict that $2,500-$3,000 might be a good estimate of the total cost for a one week trip in London. I wouldn't be able to afford that being unemployed. It would take me probably 8 months to save $3,000 without a job.

He could hit Dominican Republic for $400-$500 R/T, hang out on the beach and socialize with locals and other Westerners. Again an entire week can be done for less $1,000.

You were accurate about the flight to Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic - Las Americas Intl Airport (SDQ). It costs roughly $500 for the cheaper round-trip flights.

Round trip flight to Mexico City, Mexico with 2 stops would be $813.20.

Mexico and the Dominican Republic would be two places I could possibly visit after saving money for 3-4 months. However, I have other important things like trying to relocate and getting a job so I could afford to travel without it being a major financial cost. I would like to travel but it's not possible if it takes 4 months to save and I wouldn't be any closer to either getting a job. I need to leave the Kosovo of America and move far from the liberal high cost of living northeast. Someone born in my generation living in the Kosovo of America will get nowhere in life, especially if they are forced to live alone in the high cost of living northeast, not to mention the Kosovo part of the northeastern economic-wasteland.

[jamesbond]

Here is an interesting video regarding the shooting.

[MarcosZeitola]

I mean he hasn't even taken baby steps. From where he is, a trip to London is fairly cheap. You can get R/T ticket, stay in a hostel and see all the important sites for about $700.

London isn't cheap. July 14, 2014 depature from Logan and a July 19, 2014 return flight from London with one stop, the cheapest flight for those dates would be $1561.47. Add other expenses, food, lodging, and whatever might be unexpected, and the fact that it costs more dollars to buy something in the U.K. relative to America, I would predict that $2,500-$3,000 might be a good estimate of the total cost for a one week trip in London. I wouldn't be able to afford that being unemployed. It would take me probably 8 months to save $3,000 without a job.

He could hit Dominican Republic for $400-$500 R/T, hang out on the beach and socialize with locals and other Westerners. Again an entire week can be done for less $1,000.

You were accurate about the flight to Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic - Las Americas Intl Airport (SDQ). It costs roughly $500 for the cheaper round-trip flights.

Round trip flight to Mexico City, Mexico with 2 stops would be $813.20.

Mexico and the Dominican Republic would be two places I could possibly visit after saving money for 3-4 months. However, I have other important things like trying to relocate and getting a job so I could afford to travel without it being a major financial cost. I would like to travel but it's not possible if it takes 4 months to save and I wouldn't be any closer to either getting a job. I need to leave the Kosovo of America and move far from the liberal high cost of living northeast. Someone born in my generation living in the Kosovo of America will get nowhere in life, especially if they are forced to live alone in the high cost of living northeast, not to mention the Kosovo part of the northeastern economic-wasteland.

Find a girl poor enough is all I'm saying...

You may be from "America's Kosovo" but there are families out there so poor you are like a nobleman to them. 10\10 chance one such families has a sixteen year old daughter who will be quite attracted to you for this reason alone, among others.

My advice is to not go to London, as it pointless. Also, Eastern European women to my understanding are very, very materialistic as well. Not much different from Western European women only a lot more desperate. Your only chance is with one young enough to not be corrupted by her shallow materialistic surroundings yet... but that's a rare find. You would have better luck finding such a girl in Asia. Just a word of advice.

One more word of advice: don't waste your time playing video games inside. Instead make every day a productive day. Write, work out, socialize. Make connections with people who can get our closer to a job and the means to achieve your goals. Don't waste your time, time wasted is time you will never get back. Work towards achieving your goals one day at a time.

[S_Parc]

Don't waste your time, time wasted is time you will never get back. Work towards achieving your goals one day at a time.

+1

Yes, this is definite my motto. Plus, having daily habitual rituals are important for maintaining one's momentum.

In addition, as for work, meaning work which doesn't require too many certificates and all that academic jazz, I'd thought that learning how to drive a tractor trailer, ~2 months, usually results in rapid placement w/o needing to show X years experience at it. And in time, the jobs keep coming and the pay becomes rather solid and stable.

[publicduende]

Find a girl poor enough is all I'm saying...

You may be from "America's Kosovo" but there are families out there so poor you are like a nobleman to them. 10\10 chance one such families has a sixteen year old daughter who will be quite attracted to you for this reason alone, among others.

Sounds good in theory but, as soon as the girl and her family realise that young hubby has nothing to live on than some savings and has little chance to find a decent job either in the Philippines or back in the US...what happens then?

One more word of advice: don't waste your time playing video games inside. Instead make every day a productive day. Write, work out, socialize. Make connections with people who can get our closer to a job and the means to achieve your goals. Don't waste your time, time wasted is time you will never get back. Work towards achieving your goals one day at a time.

This is excellent advice, and is in fact what every young man should do. Every day night spent alone and complaining about one's own frustrations and loneliness is a wasted day.

[publicduende]

Public,

If you travel around, even at those old diners, coffee shops, etc, the senior citizens have their old buddies, discussing music or sporting events from the 1950s or 60s. At one of my favorite local bar/restaurants, there's one guy who's always alone and only the bartender makes conversation with him. Other patrons and waiting staff, fully ignore him. He's considered a 'creep' despite never having done anything. I presume that because he looks, 55-60 years of age, ppl think he's harmless but I guarantee that if he were let's say 25-45 years of age, ppl would be afraid that he were a psychopath.

I once knew someone, who'd developed dementia at an early age, like early 50s, probably because he didn't see his life as a success story and thus, started checking out early. So in place of being a creep, everywhere he went, ppl felt sorry for him. And sometimes, as his chaperone, I was considered a really *nice* guy for taking care of my *uncle* Everyone presumed that he was a relative and I didn't even try to dissuade anyone from that belief.

This is the world around me and I've basically accepted it. Socially speaking, if you don't have some rich inner world and the ability to compartmentalize your life, then you'll have some trouble, esp if your academics and/or career are not successful.

Elliot Rodgers, unlike me, only had parents who basically helped foot his bills. I'm sure that in his mind, he wasn't thinking of studying accounting/finance, getting internship at XYZ corp, passing certification exams, etc, and after getting that first paycheck, flying down to Costa Rica for a quickie at the Hotel DelRey. Instead, he was dreaming about romantic love and being accepted by some blonde bimbos, not even recognizing that they're bimbos.

If my mind were obsessed about that stuff, I would have committed suicide by ages 18-20. Instead, I'd built barriers against getting too close to others and focused on finding work, which would lead me to a successful outplacement in the future. Eventually, as I started traveling, I did explore those inner feelings and was able to become a more whole person, as I'd increased my separation from my parents & sister.

Good post, Parc, sorry I didn't get around to replying earlier.

I don't know what to say. Frequent patrons of a drinking establishment have existed since those places were invented. Of course men who turn up everyday or almost everyday, well before peak hour, to talk to fellow habitues and condescending barmen and waiting staff, are men with a lot of free time in their hands. Typically very young and unemployed or senior citizens. That doesn't say anything on their mental state though, only the fact that they enjoy meeting and talking over a few beers.

You may be aware that the word "pub" is a friendly abbreviation for "public house", that is a natural extension of a family house, which ever since medieval Britain never had the reputation to be spacious and comfortable. I might be biased towards the UK, but I don't think anybody would ever consider average pub patrons, regardless of their age and their check-in weekly frequency and time, "creeps" just because of their habit.

Meeting at the pub for lunch, tea, a few pints, dinner, after weddings and birthdays, graduations and funerals, is an essential part of British society. If American society hasn't too tragically diverged from their roots, I don't see how and why this should be wildly different over there.

Yes, you could see young people snubbing those people and labelling them "creeps" or worse. It's them who are entitled, insecure and perhaps even envious (since they only get to spend a few hours a week drinking and have to boast spending $500 in a week to show off their cushy 60-hours a week jobs). It's them being stupid and probably racist.

I wouldn't want to generalise.

A few words on this concept of yours of "compartmentalising", since you brought it up quite a few times in your recent posts. I agree on pursuing a rich, richer inner life to counterweight the shallowness and boredom of a life routine. Yet, the same Eastern spiritual masters you probably follow and cherish would be the first to say that the supreme mission of the incarnate (human) soul is to experience the material world. Explore, understand, integrate. This is why we are incarnate souls in the first place. Enlightened spirits in the making. Trainee angels.

Some of us choose to use what life throws at them as springboard for those amazing leaps into reality. Some others - and there are quite a few in here - prefer to barricade behind them, letting fears and frustrations cloud their mind until that reality is not only too ugly and hostile to face, but they find themselves lacking the basic tools to explore, read and absorb it if and when, later in life, they move their bottoms and try making a move.

[S_Parc]

A few words on this concept of yours of "compartmentalising", since you brought it up quite a few times in your recent posts. I agree on pursuing a rich, richer inner life to counterweight the shallowness and boredom of a life routine. Yet, the same Eastern spiritual masters you probably follow and cherish would be the first to say that the supreme mission of the incarnate (human) soul is to experience the material world. Explore, understand, integrate. This is why we are incarnate souls in the first place. Enlightened spirits in the making. Trainee angels.

Some of us choose to use what life throws at them as springboard for those amazing leaps into reality. Some others - and there are quite a few in here - prefer to barricade behind them, letting fears and frustrations cloud their mind until that reality is not only too ugly and hostile to face, but they find themselves lacking the basic tools to explore, read and absorb it if and when, later in life, they move their bottoms and try making a move.

Here's the thing, a rich inner world allows one to have a richer outer world, when done correctly. As you'd guessed from our conversations, Mel had dropped women for me, because I'd introduced this richness of the inner sanctum, while at the same time, engaging in the things around us, which give us value. Believe me, I did not plan for it to happen. Mel had discovered that I was onto something, & on her own volition, went for it.

In contrast, I wouldn't necessarily want to hang out with crazy & psychotic ppl, for the sake of gaining experiences with them, because they don't jive with the way I see things. Likewise, the ppl who need the latest fashionable clothes, cars, etc, are also not of interest to me because it's too fleeting and high school-ish. I do know ppl of all these qualities but I don't spend time with them. They're ppl whom I only engage, when there's an important event in town, like let's say the Boston Celtics are in the playoffs and then, we all gather and cheer on our hometown basketball team. And then, we disperse and go on our separate ways.

[Tsar]

Find a girl poor enough is all I'm saying...

You may be from "America's Kosovo" but there are families out there so poor you are like a nobleman to them. 10\10 chance one such families has a sixteen year old daughter who will be quite attracted to you for this reason alone, among others.

Sounds good in theory but, as soon as the girl and her family realise that young hubby has nothing to live on than some savings and has little chance to find a decent job either in the Philippines or back in the US...what happens then?

Publicduende, can you give me your thoughts on how you think someone of my generation, maybe someone in my position with no work experience, would go about getting a good job? I believe you have a more positive opinion of the situation in America.