publicduende wrote:There is dignity in being alone but not lonely, yet you must admit that being a monad isn't everybody's cup of tea. Sure, a self-centred loneliness predicated on observation, spiritual discipline and solitary learning is a good path to individual development. So many though may prefer going the opposite direction, plunging further into society and its contradiction, loving and suffering, falling and crying and cursing. And yet, still with some residual desire to hold another hand.
Mel is, as you put it, a co-pilot in a journey of self-discovery that you had already chosen to begin on your own. Nothing wrong with it. Some other people, including myself, just won't survive a week without crashing that wall of singleitude and reaching out for the Other, whoever and wherever they might be.
The way I look at it, let's call it the Art of Proactive Living (leaving out the terminologies/explanations of Tao, Shamanism, etc) is that it's one of the gifts that the west had received. I believe throughout the prior century, ppl like Yogananda, Suzuki, Mantak Chia, and even a handful of westerners who'd gone abroad, have brought back teachings/instructions which could be of greater benefit to ppl here than even in their originating countries.
Part of that is that western living, which combines a high degree of stress and daily isolation, is a good place to develop oneself, even w/o a monastic order like the Shaolin or the Franciscans (from your former home country). In a sense, these arts are actually being kept alive by the fact that it's needed in modern life and not relegated to some dying geezers in some remote Himalayan caves.
And at the same time, it gives one great resolve, esp when life throws its uncertainties. One guy I knew, who used to do some of this stuff (but stopped abruptly at the age of 30), got divorced and his wife had taken off with the kids. Well, he's a mess today & regrets the fact that he didn't follow my advice, years ago. Hopefully, in a few years, he'll be alright but it's hard to tell, who can recover from a serious blow, if they didn't take the time earlier, to cultivate their inner being.
Many years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.
Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.
AB discussion thread
BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.