To the man who does nothing

[MarcosZeitola]

Marcos, this was an amazing post from you. You're very young, and yet, at least judging from your online writing persona, you know what your dreams are made of and are determined to reach them, no matter what. Little does it matter that you're short on cash and not in the Philippines right now. You'll join your family soon and have the quiet, simple yet fulfilling life you desire.

For, as you so masterfully say...if the small things in life don't fill you, the big ones won't either.

Best of luck, mate. In the space of a few posts, you have sculpted your status as the ultimate Happier Abroader in solid granite.

Thanks man! I try to combat the negative attitudes of some people and the way in which they continue to find excuses for themselves that largely have no base in reality, purely for the sake of justifying their own lack of actions taken. It's a very negative and unnecessary way of thinking that has no place here or anyone else, and will only wind up making people miserable in the end. All that bitterness and anger from the men who do nothing. It's sad, isn't it?

That's really a wonderful post! I think one of the biggest issues with this forum is the majority of the guys on Happier Abroad are, or will be card carrying members of MGTOW. I'm one of those guys that is happily married to a foreign lady but it's not for everybody. It still takes quite a bit of money, luck, social skills and patience to find a foreign wife and not everybody here has the resources to succeed.

More and more men find it easier to function alone. I'm a 52 year old male and most of my guy friends are single. The bitterness eventually soon replaced by apathy and they don't see being alone as abnormal. In the words of Pink Floyd, they morph into becoming "Comfortably Numb."

So tragic not to have a female to validate me.. haha...

Coping mechanisms plain and simple. MGTOW is a movement for men too p***y to actually get women, so they pretend they don't need or want women in their lives and pretend it's a conscious decision. No woman means no family, no family means no future. And America means, for far too many people, death. You can lie to yourself all you want though, it's a free country after all.

If you are too stupid or unwilling to meet a foreign bride then you also will not be able to meet an American women either.

Of course it is easy to meet a foreign potential bride, but what would be the point if you are too poor to actually marry her.

Chances are, I am poorer then you and I am married. We did not have a big ceremony yet and we kept it small and simple, first marrying only for the law. We will have the actual wedding with guests in a few years when we can afford it. Right now I save up. Soon I will have enough money to do what needs to be done, get us our own place and live together permanently. I work towards that goal and really don't need that much. Food and housing is cheap, electronics and internet and all those things are luxury items only spoiled, weak Westerners lacking that vital cowboy mentality to go abroad are lacking in.

Also, remember this: if a woman would be unwilling to marry you because you are "poor", she is not worth marrying in the first place. And of course you are not poor to her, as Filipino's working as nannies or nurses or truck drivers abroad already make enough money to send home and support huge families. So as an American, you are rich to them no matter how low your income. Enough with the negativity already!

If a guy's prospects in America are $7.25 per hour and fapping, there's no point in staying. They're better of going for $3 abroad and at least getting laid/having companionship.

Of course, but he would need the ability to earn an income in his chosen country. When you consider the need to purchase insurance, internationally traded goods like electronics, medical care etc. expenses could easily run to $1k per month no matter where you are, especially if you had dependants, and that is not always doable. We have of course been over this in other threads.

Medical care is something we need only once every two years when the missus pops out another baby! Electronics are something you can live without. You don't need those luxury goods. One thousand a month sounds about right... but on that money if you spend your money wisely you can have an entire family live in the Philippines. You should be willing to pay a certain price for the escape abroad; the price of a great loss of luxury, in return for which you win back the freedom to live life the way you wish to live life. In a place where men can be men, and women women and no feminists will be around to mess with this lifestyle. Is that not worth all possible drawbacks? You obviously are miserable in the West.

Stop focusing on the drawbacks!

On the what-ifs and the doom scenarios! Just stop. That mentality will not get you anywhere. Be honest to yourself and answer me:

1: Are you happy in the West?
2: Do you want to leave?

If the answer to 1 is no and to 2 is yes, focus on the very basics you need to leave. You really don't need as much as you think you do and you are way to hung up on the possible negative things that might happen. What's the alternative, living a miserable life in America and dying alone? It's time to stop finding excuses, stop complaining, and start moving!

[Jester]

If a guy's prospects in America are $7.25 per hour and fapping, there's no point in staying. They're better off going for $3 abroad and at least getting laid/having companionship.

Says it short and sweet.

If a place sucks, it sucks. A few dollars more doesnt matter if nothing worth buying is available to you.

[Cornfed]

Chances are, I am poorer then you and I am married. We did not have a big ceremony yet and we kept it small and simple, first marrying only for the law. We will have the actual wedding with guests in a few years when we can afford it. Right now I save up. Soon I will have enough money to do what needs to be done, get us our own place and live together permanently. I work towards that goal and really don't need that much.

So if you are saving money you must have some ongoing income above your living expenses, right? And you presumably think you can rely on this income in the foreseeable future, right? Because that is what most people lack in foreign countries.

[S_Parc]

So tragic not to have a female to validate me.. haha...

Coping mechanisms plain and simple. MGTOW is a movement for men too p***y to actually get women, so they pretend they don't need or want women in their lives and pretend it's a conscious decision. No woman means no family, no family means no future. And America means, for far too many people, death. You can lie to yourself all you want though, it's a free country after all.

To both Marcos & Public, I do disagree with your thesis. I don't need a woman, after having had relationships in the past. It is not a coping mechanism, it's the truth, men are emotionally self-sufficient once they discover that within themselves.

On the other hand, I do choose to be with someone. But yet, if circumstances take her away, it wouldn't shatter my world and thus, I wouldn't go into some frantic search for someone to replace her. And at the same time, I'm aware that Mel's one in a million in America. I appreciate my good fortune.

I'd almost guarantee that fellas like you, wouldn't survive growing up in my dysfunctional household. It would take a lot, to drive a person like me towards suicide. I think it would be easier for folks like you, as you're emotionally dependent upon others for your well being.

And thus, I find that the best advise for those in the west is to first, find that emotional strength [ meditation, yoga, qigong, or whatever ] and then, go outside. Because around the world, women do still need men with a *strong* as oppose to a *needy* core. The tools are available and one can get started somewhere.

[publicduende]

To both Marcos & Public, I do disagree with your thesis. I don't need a woman, after having had relationships in the past. It is not a coping mechanism, it's the truth, men are emotionally self-sufficient once they discover that within themselves.

On the other hand, I do choose to be with someone. But yet, if circumstances take her away, it wouldn't shatter my world and thus, I wouldn't go into some frantic search for someone to replace her. And at the same time, I'm aware that Mel's one in a million in America. I appreciate my good fortune.

I'd almost guarantee that fellas like you, wouldn't survive growing up in my dysfunctional household. It would take a lot, to drive a person like me towards suicide. I think it would be easier for folks like you, as you're emotionally dependent upon others for your well being.

And thus, I find that the best advise for those in the west is to first, find that emotional strength [ meditation, yoga, qigong, or whatever ] and then, go outside. Because around the world, women do still need men with a *strong* as oppose to a *needy* core. The tools are available and one can get started somewhere.

I honestly don't think there's much to agree or disagree, of what I said above. We really need to think of ourselves as products of nature and nurture, in doses that vary from individual to individual. As you said many times, you have to endure a loveless, disintegrated and dysfunctional family and learned to develop and grow on your own, using your strong will and a few tool of spiritual (self-)disciplining.

I applaud your choices not only because they were particularly hard to follow and stick to, but because they perhaps were the best way out a family/social situation that could have turned you in a very different, probably much worse person.

In a different position, I was born and brought up in a warm, loving and embracing extended family, with good parents, a maternal granny whom I loved even more than my parents, and a triptych of aunties who were the perfect complement to my mum & dad. Like a lot of young people in Southern Italy, being surrounded by female role models aplenty shaped my perception of the female gender in a non-confrontational way. This is probably why I just cannot process the extremes to which some of you bring the discourse, and perhaps not even the typically American antagonistic approach to a relationship, as if in love - like in war - whatever territory one gains, the other must give up.

You say "fellas like us" wouldn't survive in your dysfunctional household. As we say in Italy...if my granny had a pair of testicles, it would be my granddad. Perhaps growing in a situation like yours would have bred a different kind of person, perhaps vaguely more similar to you than me.

I am still tempted to say that, being the human a social animal to boot, the most natural behaviour is always that of seeking good quality social interactions and making those interactions a tool for personal growth. It probably takes a lot more discernment and discipline to explore and understand the world alone, or as a distant observer. The biggest risk is to mistake the sound of one's own thoughts as the sound of the world, and - like many here constantly do - condemn oneself to perceive everything from inside the proverbial Plato's cave, head facing the walls.

Call it my bias (and our friend Marcos', it seems), but I can't convince myself that withdrawal from society, no matter how conscious and self-disciplined, is better than the constant strive to reach for and maintain healthy relationships with the people out there, whether it's a office mate to share beers and jokes with or the women you'll be loving for the rest of your life.

[S_Parc]

I am still tempted to say that, being the human a social animal to boot, the most natural behaviour is always that of seeking good quality social interactions and making those interactions a tool for personal growth. It probably takes a lot more discernment and discipline to explore and understand the world alone, or as a distant observer. The biggest risk is to mistake the sound of one's own thoughts as the sound of the world, and - like many here constantly do - condemn oneself to perceive everything from inside the proverbial Plato's cave, head facing the walls.

Call it my bias (and our friend Marcos', it seems), but I can't convince myself that withdrawal from society, no matter how conscious and self-disciplined, is better than the constant strive to reach for and maintain healthy relationships with the people out there, whether it's a office mate to share beers and jokes with or the women you'll be loving for the rest of your life.

Not to keep touting my horn but Mel had come from a happy family. Her dad is a great guy and her cousins (and even neighbors) care a lot about her. After some months of *training* with me, ppl started to say that she was *glowing*. They assumed that it was because we were the perfect couple. Little did they realize that a lot of it was from inner development. Thus, I'd almost argue that your perspective is that of an external martial arts (Karate) whereas mine is internal (Hsing Yi).

The difference is that the outer form emphasizes more external muscular development & body coordination but the internal is about mastering the major inner energy flows and meridian (plus chakra) systems which lead to not only success on the field but also wellness and rapid healing. So whereas your *angle of approach* is good for someone, who's already living in social Brazil (which was me, BTW, a number of years ago) vs someone in the USA, where having internal power is more important in forming friendships, developing business connections, etc, esp given the closed nature of the place we live in. And thus, I'd say it's easier for me to share a beer with a co-worker than a person who's in some sort of constant 'fear of being judged' type of habitation, a common problem in America. Ppl sense my state of being content, my relative self-confidence, and don't mind spending time with me over beer or chicken wings.

[NorthAmericanguy]

OK, so you spend a year saving $3k to go on holiday for a week and meet a foreign girl. What then?

It's not that expensive unless you're going all the way to Asia. Flights from the U.S. to POP (Dominican Republic) you can get a RT ticket for $395.00. But even then, if you pay 800 bucks on a RT ticket to go to Thailand, the 2k+ left over can last you 30 days if you pace yourself with the women, eat street cart food, and stay in the nice hostels that only cost 15 bucks a night or just rent an apartment for a month.

It only cost more money and it's much harder when you're trying to find a wife. Now things are much difficult and I do feel for you guys who are looking to get married to a foreign wife.

[Cornfed]

It only cost more money and it's much harder when you're trying to find a wife. Now things are much difficult and I do feel for you guys who are looking to get married to a foreign wife.

I thought that was what we were talking about. I have spent years in Asia, but have never been able to contemplate marriage, even when I was making good money, because there was no guarantee of and ongoing income. I'm not sure how people think someone leaving a minimum wage job is going to solve this problem.

[ethan_sg]

You do one of the following:

1. Get a non-teaching job in the country

2. Get an English teaching job in the country - plenty of Asian countries have many vacancies for this and with the exception of the developed countries like Japan (which you probably wouldn't want to go to anyway), wages for English teachers are generally well above the average wage in these countries. While it will not afford you a luxurious lifestyle, it is certain enough for a decent middle class lifestyle in these countries. I know plenty of foreign English teachers in China who have gotten married to local girls over there. After teaching for a few years, some even progress on to start their own businesses including even opening their own schools. Some move onto other jobs with western companies in these countries, simply using English teaching as a way to get a foothold in the country.

3. Teach English online - Ladislav would know all about this.

4. Start a small business in the country (online or not). Of course this route may require a bit of capital and lots of paperwork, but if you put your heart and soul into it, it can be done, and has been done by lots of foreigners in various Asian countries. In Shenzhen and Guangzhou for instance, there are lots of foreign (laowai) entrepreneurs who have started their own import-export businesses, being in the manufacturing hub of China.

While you do make some good points about what is wrong with the developed world, I swear I have not come across anyone as pessimistic and uninspiring as you, Cornfed.

Marcos Zeitola, on the other hand, is an inspiration to us all. So are people like Zboy, Falcon and The_Adventurer, along with quite a few others on this forum. Now these are the people that need to be posting more. Winston used to be an inspiration but now he's walking contradiction of his very own website.

These guys are inspirations too:

http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl7mAGnY4jh4Ps8rhhh8XZg

http://www.youtube.com/channel/UChvithwOECK5g_19TjldMKw

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheElevatorLifeShow

http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIaFkikJlZQrlCw2LUtHLNg

While there are many things wrong with the western world and the modern world such as feminism, isolation, domination of resources by the elite, there are still pockets of relative freedom and happiness to be found in less developed parts of Asia, and all these guys are living examples of that. You can spend your life complaining or fighting against the system, or you can you fight for your pockets of relative freedom and happiness abroad. I know which I choose.

It only cost more money and it's much harder when you're trying to find a wife. Now things are much difficult and I do feel for you guys who are looking to get married to a foreign wife.

I thought that was what we were talking about. I have spent years in Asia, but have never been able to contemplate marriage, even when I was making good money, because there was no guarantee of and ongoing income. I'm not sure how people think someone leaving a minimum wage job is going to solve this problem.

[Cornfed]

You do one of the following:

1. Get a non-teaching job in the country[...]

Well of course we know all about this, but the point is that in the current market, none of the above may be possible for a given individual. Pointing this out is not defeatism, nor will working one's self up into a fit of sweaty can-do adrenaline necessarily make financial opportunities magically puff into existence.

[ethan_sg]

Many of these guys I've met abroad in China and Thailand, settled there, either with long term girlfriends or wives from these countries, are very average guys of average intelligence, many of whom came to these countries with very little capital to begin with. Don't have the know-how or capital to start a business? Fine. Teach English to start with. It doesn't take exceptional circumstances to achieve this - in fact it is pretty dam easy for most westerners to get English teaching jobs in China and Thailand.

I don't know what sort of financial opportunities you're talking about but if you're talking about something that will make you a multi-millionaire - then sure as hell it isn't going to magically puff into existence. But most of us here are not looking for that or expecting that. We're looking for a peaceful viable life abroad in a place with decent girls relatively untarnished by feminism. It doesn't take a lot to achieve this because there are so many average guys who are doing this but you make it sound like it would take a miracle.

But I know no matter how much we rebut your points, your sorry-to-say sick mind is going to come up with new excuses on why this is unattainable. You feed on pessimism and negativity like a drug addict feeds on crack. Something in you doesn't want you to believe you have any control over your destiny. You are, as Marcos Zeitola says, the man who does nothing and will never do anything. Well, good luck with that.

You do one of the following:
1. Get a non-teaching job in the country[...]

Well of course we know all about this, but the point is that in the current market, none of the above may be possible for a given individual. Pointing this out is not defeatism, nor will working one's self up into a fit of sweaty can-do adrenaline necessarily make financial opportunities magically puff into existence.

[Cornfed]

Many of these guys I've met abroad in China and Thailand, settled there, either with long term girlfriends or wives from these countries, are very average guys of average intelligence, many of whom came to these countries with very little capital to begin with

This is a fallacy of conformational bias. You see the people who have succeeded (so far) and conclude that is the norm, oblivious to the multitudes who have failed because they ran out of money and had to go back home.

But I know no matter how much we rebut your points, your sorry-to-say sick mind is going to come up with new excuses on why this is unattainable. You feed on pessimism and negativity like a drug addict feeds on crack.

WTF? Seriously, as I have said, I have spent years overseas, often on a shoestring budget. And you are accusing me of doing nothing? Just crazy.

[Repatriate]

The problem with guys like Cornfed is that the white supremacist movement is a minority unto itself. This really narrows down the % of women who are willing to live an extremist lifestyle. Similar to how there aren't really that many women who are willing to don a burka in order to go on the run as jihadists. Maybe Cornfed should pioneer development in a white supremacist dating site. Make it like OKcupid except the questions can be used to narrow down dating prospects according to neo-nazi criteria.

[Cornfed]

The problem with guys like Cornfed is that the white supremacist movement is a minority unto itself.

As I have posted, I would have married certain non-white females, had that been practical at the time.

[Repatriate]

The problem with guys like Cornfed is that the white supremacist movement is a minority unto itself.

As I have posted, I would have married certain non-white females, had that been practical at the time.

What are you going to do with the "mud" babies that you would have in this scenario?