gsjackson wrote:
Dude, dude, dude. You have no idea how young you are. Take care of yourself and you can be in the game for decades to come, if you want to. But you'll need to lose this attitude. And honestly, grey hair just doesn't seem to be a handicap. I'm about 30-40 percent grey now, and haven't found that it makes any difference, even with women in their twenties.
Thanks guy, I really appreciate it. I have just gone into panic mode after my year here in Italy, pretty much all the Italians my age here are Married, in a serious relationship. Meanwhile I haven't been able to get a date with any Italian only Albanians and other foreigners. I'm leaving Italy soon and it isn't because of just girls but a slew of different things.
gsjackson wrote:On Italian women, a couple of points, and I could be talking out my a** here because I've spent a total of three days in the country. First point: I wasn't impressed. The women had this trashy, vulgar look. Didn't see one that was appealing.
This is correct, and while there are some cute ones here that don't have the trashy and vulgar look, they're most likely taken by 25/26ish, guys here aren't dumb and if they see a good girl who's an 8 or so they move quickly and diligently. Being the newcomer I have found out that Italian girls are not very cultured or educated. They are also not risk adverse to dating non-italian guys, meanwhile the Italian guys on the other hand are the exact opposite maybe because they are forced too.
gsjackson wrote:
Secondly, I can recall when a female friend of mine went to Italy thirty years ago, and noted how the men would whistle and hoot as women walked by, grab asses sometimes. The women would act pissed, but actually liked it. Being a staunch anti-feminist, my friend found all of this very admirable. Now, I don't know if men still behave like this in Italy, but the women's behavior may still reflect the residue of this culture. They strut around haughtily and expect men to come strong and overcome their resistance, all of it, of course, being a lot of theatricality and role playing. Coming strong and resilient is not something that comes naturally to most American men, and with you current attitude I'm guessing that's not your M.O. right now.
It's true that the Italy we knew growing up, vacationing here and seeing it in the movies no longer exists. Italian guys are emasculated as much as French, American, Canadian etc...
I don't mind a strong approach with confidence to back it up, but I haven't been able to get past the social circles part here in Italy.
99.9% of girls have a boyfriend at my age and I don't believe in f***ing around with some dudes chick. For the reason that if I am successful, I will then know the girl is garbage and would do the same to me if the right opportunity arises. I would rather f**k some geeky looking 19 year old Italian girl who's chubby and speaks barely any of my language than f.uck around with some dudes ragazza.
So it's a double edge sword. But none the less it's pretty much impossible for an expat to date an Italian girl as you have to be formally introduced by one of the girls friends or family members for her to even notice you. Making guy friends to try and get into a social circle is also challenging. The guys here are kind of standoffish and seem to only like to use me for free english lessons (since it costs a lot of money here to get talk time in).
The social programming of the Italian matrix is pretty strong. It's definitely too strong for an expat to break into without some heavy artillery to make a breakthrough into the social circles.