Great article on dating in Brazil vs US

[steve55]

You don't really realize how true articles like this are until you go abroad and date in foreign cultures for yourself to see how true articles like this are. When I read articles like this and know from personal experience they speak the truth, it just pisses me off to be stuck in such a shitty social culture. I mean yes, the US is modern clean, relatively safe and things are done efficiently, but dam if we don't pay a heavy price by living In such a shitty culture here where people arnt really happy , people are not connected, families aren't close , and the highest divorce rate in the world reflects all this. On the one hand it's easy to feel cheated in life by being stuck in such a horrendous social and dating scene all your life, but on the other hand, if you were born in a 3rd world country, you'd most likely be dirt poor. Which would you rather have, be dirt poor with a great social and dating scene or have money to afford the nice things like creature comforts and be able to travel etc but have a horrible dating and social scene? Though, if you are born poor in America, you have the worst of both worlds I guess. America has to be the worst country in the world to be born poor in. Anyways this article is spot on in general about dating in non western cultures in general.


Source http://brasilmagic.wordpress.com/2013/0 ... us-the-us/


Talking to some Brazilian friends who are in the dating market, we compared notes about dating in Brazil vs. dating in the US, and came to the conclusion that dating in America is much more confusing. In Brazil, once you start going out with someone, there is an implicit understanding that you are a couple. That means you readily tell your family and friends you have a significant other. You keep in touch daily. You see each other also almost daily. You start sharing your friends and activities. You know where you stand. You don’t question the relationship so much: “are we dating?â€￾, “are we seriousâ€￾? Brazilians also display much more public affection, like holding hands and kissing. It is an affectionate country.



In America, especially with the multitude of options online dating has created, it seems people have become flakier and that often translates into an on and off relationship. Don’t get me wrong: in Brazil, online dating is also popular, but the essence of what couplehood means remains the same as before. That is, once you start a romance, you don’t look for others. You see each other almost on a daily basis and starting behaving as a couple.



In the US nowadays it seems everyone is looking for the bigger better deal. You go out with someone but you don’t show much commitment. You have “back upâ€￾ plans. The guy or girl you call on Sundays when you are bored, because your Friday and Saturday nights are reserved for searching for the BBD (bigger better deal). You keep your back up plan happy with a few dates far and between and a few phone calls. You keep your backups a bit hidden since you don’t want your social circles to think you are a couple. God forbid a BBD shows up in a party and you are with the back up!



If it doesn’t work out with your partner in Brazil, you end things properly. In America, many people are acting so passive agressively nowadays that they seem unable to break things up with someone or tell them right in the beginning they are not interested in the other romantically. So relationships drag in that sea of doubt. People forget their manners and disrespect each other by not answering the phone, text or emails. Again, they are so unsure of what they want while they leave you hanging, just in case it doesn’t work with the BBD…



Our society has made us believe that we deserve perfection. Nobody wants to work in a relationship anymore nor put up with normal issues people have. Men want women who look perfect like the photoshopped world they grew up seeing. Women dream of Don Draper types without the womanizing. Selfishness and materialism has subverted the family values we once had and that are still strong in countries like Brazil.



Brazil has a lower divorce rate than America. Families stay together for longer (most kids only leave home when they get married), and people tend to live near their families. This family atmosphere also makes couples take their relationship more seriously. Once you both meet each other’s family, the pressure to stay together is stronger.



This lack of commitment and constant search for the perfect companion (or soul mate like many like to call) is one of the strongest reasons for this lack of commitment we are seeing in the American dating scene. Couple that with all the supermarket choices of online dating, the “I want it nowâ€￾ mentality of high speed internet/life that has produced instant gratification, the easy access to porn (which banalizes sex) and the disintegration of the nuclear family and you can understand why so many people are complaining about the dating world nowadays.

[jamesbond]

Steve your friend is living proof on how much better the dating scene is in Brazil than it is in the US.

By the way Steve, who in God's name is that in your profile? That is one of the scariest looking creatures I have ever seen in my adult life!

[steve55]

By the way Steve, who in God's name is that in your profile? That is one of the scariest looking creatures I have ever seen in my adult life!

LOL, that creature was me! LOL! I used a photo altering App on my I pad called "photobooth". It comes installed, I didn't download it.


Ive put back my old profile ID, but for others reading this, here was the photo I was using. Isnt it hard to believe it was a photo of me? Its amazing what photo altering software can do.

[Ghost]

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[Tezcatlipoca]

Another thing I notice:

There are some cultures where women have a romantic/intimacy ideal aka the knight in shining armor willing to sacrifice everything for his love. In some there is a passion/desire ideal where it is recognized that part of what sparks intimacy. Here is an interesting talk on it:


Anyhow, in the "love" focused cultures the women believe in an ideal that is removed from the body and so they do not work out or express sexual desires and flirting openly because it is seen as dirty or shameful. I think in passion cultures the desires of the body are seen as normal and openly expressed as part of what is necessary to inspire amorous feeling.

Here is an interesting talk that reflects some of the passionate nature of Latin culture:


http://youtube.com/watch?v=TBIL2sdfoVc

I think the US still has a lot of puritanical conditioning. I am definitely less attracted to more coy in public flirtation. I find it boring and cowardly? Also, I find it rude for others to act as though I am a monster for openly appreciating the opposite. In the "love" based cultures the women seem unsatisfied because the ideal love is an abstract target that can never be reached and they get fat.

[jamesbond]

Another thing I notice:

I think the US still has a lot of puritanical conditioning.

Absolutely! America was founded on puritanism and it's still puritanical today! No wonder why the women are so standoffish, unfriendly and non flirtatious. They see men as "pigs" and "creeps."

In their minds, they think any man that shows a romantic interest in them is a "pervert."

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

Another thing I notice:

I think the US still has a lot of puritanical conditioning.

Absolutely! America was founded on puritanism and it's still puritanical today! No wonder why the women are so standoffish, unfriendly and non flirtatious. They see men as "pigs" and "creeps."

In their minds, they think any man that shows a romantic interest in them is a "pervert."

+∞

[skateboardstephen]

Steve your friend is living proof on how much better the dating scene is in Brazil than it is in the US.

By the way Steve, who in God's name is that in your profile? That is one of the scariest looking creatures I have ever seen in my adult life!

What White men do in Brazil or what they experience here is non applicable to Black men since being White in Brazil gives one a lot of social advantages in Brazil.I have pretty much have Brazil(or at least Salvador,Bahia)down to a science now and have figured out how things operate.