Most Filipinas only like the idea of meeting foreigners

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Will N. Dowd
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Most Filipinas only like the idea of meeting foreigners

Post by Will N. Dowd »

I'm come to the conclusion that most Filipinas love the idea of joining online dating sites, in order to scam and/or chat with foreign guys. They would rather have a virtual online foreign BF that sends them money, but they don't want to really meet him. Most of them will never meet a foreign guy, because when it comes down to actually meeting them, they will usually chicken out and say they are scared. They will often say they have had one or several foreign BF's, but with a catch. They have never actually met any of them.

So thousands join online "dating" sites without actually going on dates or meeting anyone. Some of these are professional or amateur scammers, but others are just normal girls looking to chat with foreign guys, but when the guy is there in their town and says let's meet finally, most will flake, vanish or say they have a bf, are married, or any other excuse to avoid meeting them in person. So many girls on FC, DIA etc, will simply not respond to messages or texts once you are there. They will happily chat on the site itself and give out facebook and phone numbers, but those leads usually turn into nothing.

It is easy to chat online, where you can hide behind photo shopped pictures, and say you don't have a webcam, especially when you are chatting with someone on the other side of the world. But actually meeting the foreign guy when he is here in town, that usually proves too much for Filipinas, who have such low self confidence. The whole thing of being short, brown and poor, compared to a taller, whiter and richer guy is too much for most to handle, and they will give up. That's why online dating sites here have so many profiles that are not active in months or years.
newlifeinphilippines
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Post by newlifeinphilippines »

yes many guys on philippines-addicts have confirmed that most girls just love to talk or fatasize but suddenly when you are there in philippines they have excuses not to meet (work tommorow, too late, have curfew, can i bring a friend) or dissapear cause they only wanted money. Some give you their number and you text but they dont reply back or they do but then it goes nowhere. ive been guilty of texting some girls but then not getting back to actually meet them but thats cause i got back with my gf and since foreigners are low in demand you would think they would be jumping at the chance to meet but many dont reply back or have excuses even when your there.

i even had one girl say she wont talk to me cause im already in the philippines and that she knows ive had a lot of girls wtf? so she only wants to talk to those who haven't been there.
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Will N. Dowd
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Post by Will N. Dowd »

newlifeinphilippines wrote:yes many guys on philippines-addicts have confirmed that most girls just love to talk or fatasize but suddenly when you are there in philippines they have excuses not to meet (work tommorow, too late, have curfew, can i bring a friend) or dissapear cause they only wanted money. Some give you their number and you text but they dont reply back or they do but then it goes nowhere. ive been guilty of texting some girls but then not getting back to actually meet them but thats cause i got back with my gf and since foreigners are low in demand you would think they would be jumping at the chance to meet but many dont reply back or have excuses even when your there.

I even had one girl say she wont talk to me cause im already in the philippines and that she knows ive had a lot of girls wtf? so she only wants to talk to those who haven't been there.
I'm glad you agree with my posts. I agree with yours too. I know that some people don't believe you are actually in the Philippines, which is absurd. Your posts reflect the reality of dating here, not like the stories of guys who brag about all the hot girls they banged without mentioning that they paid them to leave afterwards.

Yes I've had girls also refuse to meet me just because they assumed I was meeting other girls. I've even had some girls refuse to meet me because I was so gwapo and that meant I was banging several girls a day...I wish! Or just because I said I was with another girl, but would meet them after. Some Filipinas have this messed up sense of reality where they think that a foreign guy will go all the way there just to meet them and only them, and not one other girl. As if Filipinas would meet only one guy if they went abroad lol.

Most Filipinas that use online dating sites and even ones that don't are living in this fantasy world where they are in love with tall, white and handsome foreigners they see in movies and online. But when they have the chance to go out with one of them they usually run and hide. I had one Filipina cover her nose with her hand while on a date with me. When I asked her what she was doing, she said she was embarrassed by the shape of her nose compared to mine. Ridiculous.
chanta76
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Post by chanta76 »

Most likely the Philippine girls are just wising up with all the over mongering that is happening in their own country.

Lets be honest many expat guys go to the Philippines just to sleep around. It's like many expat guys see filipina as nothing more but as cum buckets. In reality Philippine people are just people. Because of over mongering many girls become defensive or stereotype western men . It's kind of like you reap what you sow.
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Re: Most Filipinas only like the idea of meeting foreigners

Post by MrMan »

Will N. Dowd wrote:So thousands join online "dating" sites without actually going on dates or meeting anyone. Some of these are professional or amateur scammers, but others are just normal girls looking to chat with foreign guys, but when the guy is there in their town and says let's meet finally, most will flake, vanish or say they have a bf, are married, or any other excuse to avoid meeting them in person. So many girls on FC, DIA etc, will simply not respond to messages or texts once you are there. They will happily chat on the site itself and give out facebook and phone numbers, but those leads usually turn into nothing.
Is this your experience or the experience of several others you have talked to. Maybe you are giving out cues that you just want to fornicate with the girl. If she's looking for a good husband, that may be enough to scare her off. But she may want to chat just for the experience.

There may be girls who chat for entertainment, but don't really want to meet a man. Or maybe the 'good girls' only want to meet with a friend, and if you don't want it, they take that as a bad sign.
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Post by Ghost »

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OutWest
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Post by OutWest »

Ghost wrote:You are going about things as if you don't want a quality Filipina, and hence you are getting low quality women. There's nothing to be surprised or upset about. It isn't difficult to find decent women even on a cesspool like DateInAsia. Unless you're a monger, which they'll pick up on right away.


Filipinas often are pretty keen about that- a kind of intuition about men that are
players/mongers, and most are not up for that. Even more clearly, Filipinas have a kind
of intuition about men who are NOT players/mongers and the vast majority want that kind of man.
If you have been in the Philippines for some time, and still don't grasp that there are huge
cultural differences in how girls function compared to the US, it means you are pretty blind and tone-deaf
about the place.

It's about:

Most girls in the Philippines want to introduce their new Boyfriend/suitor to their family

If you are a player/monger, you are not acceptable for them to introduce to their family.

If you are a player/monger, most girls in the Philippines, for the obvious reasons above,
will not be interested in you.

Players/mongers get P4P or other marginal girls. There are quite a few girls in that category.

Last but not least, lastly, its about players/mongers complaining about the quality of girls they find.
davewe
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Re: Most Filipinas only like the idea of meeting foreigners

Post by davewe »

MrMan wrote:
Will N. Dowd wrote:So thousands join online "dating" sites without actually going on dates or meeting anyone. Some of these are professional or amateur scammers, but others are just normal girls looking to chat with foreign guys, but when the guy is there in their town and says let's meet finally, most will flake, vanish or say they have a bf, are married, or any other excuse to avoid meeting them in person. So many girls on FC, DIA etc, will simply not respond to messages or texts once you are there. They will happily chat on the site itself and give out facebook and phone numbers, but those leads usually turn into nothing.
Is this your experience or the experience of several others you have talked to. Maybe you are giving out cues that you just want to fornicate with the girl. If she's looking for a good husband, that may be enough to scare her off. But she may want to chat just for the experience.

There may be girls who chat for entertainment, but don't really want to meet a man. Or maybe the 'good girls' only want to meet with a friend, and if you don't want it, they take that as a bad sign.
While there is some truth to Will's assertions it's not quite what you might think. I don't know what the stats are but there are thousands of men and women on the Asian dating sites. The vast majority of the men from Western countries will never come to the Philippines and every girl online learns the hard way that most of the guys will never get on a plane to meet her. Therefore the back and forth chatting becomes a fun game or even a fantasy.

The 1st time I traveled to the Philippines I told all the girls I was most interested in that I was coming and when. I met a few but many simply did not believe that I was coming. When I arrived and they could see on Facebook and in the chat application I was using that I was actually in PI, several tried to contact me and meet at the last minute. When I said "I told you I was coming" they admitted they assumed that like so many other Westerners I was conning them.

BTW, on that first trip to PI I asked my now wife to meet me. I've told the story before. She refused for 2 reasons. First because she was in college and could not or would not leave Leyte to come to Cebu as I proposed that she do. Secondly, because I was honest and told her I was meeting others. She liked me but was not interested in my "collect and select" methodology. So I met others that trip, Janet and I remained chatmates and when we were actually serious and I committed to only meeting her - that's when we finally met - almost a year later.

If a guy is a player or monger and is only targeting girls in that category and the girl flakes - well the reason is clear - she's meeting others. Your a fool to think the girl doesn't have other options on who to bang. But if the girl's even halfway good she may have fun chatting with the player online, but will be reticent to meet with him, knowing that he isn't actually interested in her.

Remember too that the Philippines is an incredibly communal culture. So if you move into a city/town/barangay and tell just one person "I love Filipinas and would like to find a good one for marriage," within a day everyone will know. But if you tell just one person, "I love Filipinas and can't wait to see how many I can bag here," within one day everyone will know that too.

Again it's a broken record, but if a guy is a good guy, sincere and interested in a real relationship he will have no lack of interested women in the Philippines.
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Post by ladislav »

I was in the Philippines and telling the girls in the spot that I was there. I met most of them. Most were good people. One was always with her mother all the time, and it turned out that she did not want to be seen next to me but she enjoyed the dinners. She wanted people to think I was dating her mother. Which, given my age I can understand. Lol.

Sometimes speaking Tagalog is a good thing, sometimes it isn't. They often treat you the way they would treat a Filipino- which means- no respectful distance. Some start scorning you because you make mistake. But if you speak English, they stand at attention.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
newlifeinphilippines
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Post by newlifeinphilippines »

will why dont you turn one of them into your girlfriend? You've never explained why. Im curious to your reasoning. Ive usually settled on one live in because i dont want to run around with my head cut off in my hotel room cause i have work to concentrate on and all. Thats why i tend to go for low hanging fruit cause easy to create a live in situation. maybe when my work isn't such a concern i wont need that.
newlifeinphilippines
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Re: Most Filipinas only like the idea of meeting foreigners

Post by newlifeinphilippines »

davewe wrote:
MrMan wrote:
Will N. Dowd wrote:So thousands join online "dating" sites without actually going on dates or meeting anyone. Some of these are professional or amateur scammers, but others are just normal girls looking to chat with foreign guys, but when the guy is there in their town and says let's meet finally, most will flake, vanish or say they have a bf, are married, or any other excuse to avoid meeting them in person. So many girls on FC, DIA etc, will simply not respond to messages or texts once you are there. They will happily chat on the site itself and give out facebook and phone numbers, but those leads usually turn into nothing.
Is this your experience or the experience of several others you have talked to. Maybe you are giving out cues that you just want to fornicate with the girl. If she's looking for a good husband, that may be enough to scare her off. But she may want to chat just for the experience.

There may be girls who chat for entertainment, but don't really want to meet a man. Or maybe the 'good girls' only want to meet with a friend, and if you don't want it, they take that as a bad sign.
While there is some truth to Will's assertions it's not quite what you might think. I don't know what the stats are but there are thousands of men and women on the Asian dating sites. The vast majority of the men from Western countries will never come to the Philippines and every girl online learns the hard way that most of the guys will never get on a plane to meet her. Therefore the back and forth chatting becomes a fun game or even a fantasy.

The 1st time I traveled to the Philippines I told all the girls I was most interested in that I was coming and when. I met a few but many simply did not believe that I was coming. When I arrived and they could see on Facebook and in the chat application I was using that I was actually in PI, several tried to contact me and meet at the last minute. When I said "I told you I was coming" they admitted they assumed that like so many other Westerners I was conning them.

BTW, on that first trip to PI I asked my now wife to meet me. I've told the story before. She refused for 2 reasons. First because she was in college and could not or would not leave Leyte to come to Cebu as I proposed that she do. Secondly, because I was honest and told her I was meeting others. She liked me but was not interested in my "collect and select" methodology. So I met others that trip, Janet and I remained chatmates and when we were actually serious and I committed to only meeting her - that's when we finally met - almost a year later.

If a guy is a player or monger and is only targeting girls in that category and the girl flakes - well the reason is clear - she's meeting others. Your a fool to think the girl doesn't have other options on who to bang. But if the girl's even halfway good she may have fun chatting with the player online, but will be reticent to meet with him, knowing that he isn't actually interested in her.

Remember too that the Philippines is an incredibly communal culture. So if you move into a city/town/barangay and tell just one person "I love Filipinas and would like to find a good one for marriage," within a day everyone will know. But if you tell just one person, "I love Filipinas and can't wait to see how many I can bag here," within one day everyone will know that too.

Again it's a broken record, but if a guy is a good guy, sincere and interested in a real relationship he will have no lack of interested women in the Philippines.
so basically you came to philippines for one single girl? See most guys can't and wont do that because its a huge risk and its beyond ridiculous. I sort of came for one girl but it wasn't my first rodeo and i could have always gone back to my old bargirl or played the field if things didnt work out. but most guys are not gonna come to philippines for one single girl they dont know if its their first or 2nd trip i would think or maybe any trip.
davewe
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Re: Most Filipinas only like the idea of meeting foreigners

Post by davewe »

newlifeinphilippines wrote:
davewe wrote:
MrMan wrote:
Will N. Dowd wrote:So thousands join online "dating" sites without actually going on dates or meeting anyone. Some of these are professional or amateur scammers, but others are just normal girls looking to chat with foreign guys, but when the guy is there in their town and says let's meet finally, most will flake, vanish or say they have a bf, are married, or any other excuse to avoid meeting them in person. So many girls on FC, DIA etc, will simply not respond to messages or texts once you are there. They will happily chat on the site itself and give out facebook and phone numbers, but those leads usually turn into nothing.
Is this your experience or the experience of several others you have talked to. Maybe you are giving out cues that you just want to fornicate with the girl. If she's looking for a good husband, that may be enough to scare her off. But she may want to chat just for the experience.

There may be girls who chat for entertainment, but don't really want to meet a man. Or maybe the 'good girls' only want to meet with a friend, and if you don't want it, they take that as a bad sign.
While there is some truth to Will's assertions it's not quite what you might think. I don't know what the stats are but there are thousands of men and women on the Asian dating sites. The vast majority of the men from Western countries will never come to the Philippines and every girl online learns the hard way that most of the guys will never get on a plane to meet her. Therefore the back and forth chatting becomes a fun game or even a fantasy.

The 1st time I traveled to the Philippines I told all the girls I was most interested in that I was coming and when. I met a few but many simply did not believe that I was coming. When I arrived and they could see on Facebook and in the chat application I was using that I was actually in PI, several tried to contact me and meet at the last minute. When I said "I told you I was coming" they admitted they assumed that like so many other Westerners I was conning them.

BTW, on that first trip to PI I asked my now wife to meet me. I've told the story before. She refused for 2 reasons. First because she was in college and could not or would not leave Leyte to come to Cebu as I proposed that she do. Secondly, because I was honest and told her I was meeting others. She liked me but was not interested in my "collect and select" methodology. So I met others that trip, Janet and I remained chatmates and when we were actually serious and I committed to only meeting her - that's when we finally met - almost a year later.

If a guy is a player or monger and is only targeting girls in that category and the girl flakes - well the reason is clear - she's meeting others. Your a fool to think the girl doesn't have other options on who to bang. But if the girl's even halfway good she may have fun chatting with the player online, but will be reticent to meet with him, knowing that he isn't actually interested in her.

Remember too that the Philippines is an incredibly communal culture. So if you move into a city/town/barangay and tell just one person "I love Filipinas and would like to find a good one for marriage," within a day everyone will know. But if you tell just one person, "I love Filipinas and can't wait to see how many I can bag here," within one day everyone will know that too.

Again it's a broken record, but if a guy is a good guy, sincere and interested in a real relationship he will have no lack of interested women in the Philippines.
so basically you came to philippines for one single girl? See most guys can't and wont do that because its a huge risk and its beyond ridiculous. I sort of came for one girl but it wasn't my first rodeo and i could have always gone back to my old bargirl or played the field if things didnt work out. but most guys are not gonna come to philippines for one single girl they dont know if its their first or 2nd trip i would think or maybe any trip.
Did you read my post? I clearly stated that I came to meet several girls. OK, truth be told it was more than just meet :) I visited PI several times and finally decided to focus on Janet and see if it would work with her. If it hadn't worked with her I knew plenty of others.

But yes, ultimately I was looking for the right one for me.

It might surprise you but I totally agree with what you and Will generally say. If a guy is a player or monger he will ultimately tire of the Philippines either because playing becomes boring, he runs out of girls willing to play in the way he wants, he comes to realize that the most attractive/smart girls don't want a player. At that point he starts looking around and realizes he's in a developing country with lots of girls, most of which he can't get because as Outwest says they can spot the players. Pretty soon he starts hating the place and the girls.

Not surprisingly you will never hear guys like me, Pete or Outwest say we hate the place. It gave us a great life.
Last edited by davewe on August 20th, 2014, 11:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
Taco
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Re: Most Filipinas only like the idea of meeting foreigners

Post by Taco »

Will N. Dowd wrote:I'm come to the conclusion that most Filipinas love the idea of joining online dating sites, in order to scam and/or chat with foreign guys.
Maybe 5% of Filipinas that are online will make good girlfriends or wives but that's a better number than most countries.
newlifeinphilippines
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Re: Most Filipinas only like the idea of meeting foreigners

Post by newlifeinphilippines »

davewe wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:
davewe wrote:
MrMan wrote:
Will N. Dowd wrote:So thousands join online "dating" sites without actually going on dates or meeting anyone. Some of these are professional or amateur scammers, but others are just normal girls looking to chat with foreign guys, but when the guy is there in their town and says let's meet finally, most will flake, vanish or say they have a bf, are married, or any other excuse to avoid meeting them in person. So many girls on FC, DIA etc, will simply not respond to messages or texts once you are there. They will happily chat on the site itself and give out facebook and phone numbers, but those leads usually turn into nothing.
Is this your experience or the experience of several others you have talked to. Maybe you are giving out cues that you just want to fornicate with the girl. If she's looking for a good husband, that may be enough to scare her off. But she may want to chat just for the experience.

There may be girls who chat for entertainment, but don't really want to meet a man. Or maybe the 'good girls' only want to meet with a friend, and if you don't want it, they take that as a bad sign.
While there is some truth to Will's assertions it's not quite what you might think. I don't know what the stats are but there are thousands of men and women on the Asian dating sites. The vast majority of the men from Western countries will never come to the Philippines and every girl online learns the hard way that most of the guys will never get on a plane to meet her. Therefore the back and forth chatting becomes a fun game or even a fantasy.

The 1st time I traveled to the Philippines I told all the girls I was most interested in that I was coming and when. I met a few but many simply did not believe that I was coming. When I arrived and they could see on Facebook and in the chat application I was using that I was actually in PI, several tried to contact me and meet at the last minute. When I said "I told you I was coming" they admitted they assumed that like so many other Westerners I was conning them.

BTW, on that first trip to PI I asked my now wife to meet me. I've told the story before. She refused for 2 reasons. First because she was in college and could not or would not leave Leyte to come to Cebu as I proposed that she do. Secondly, because I was honest and told her I was meeting others. She liked me but was not interested in my "collect and select" methodology. So I met others that trip, Janet and I remained chatmates and when we were actually serious and I committed to only meeting her - that's when we finally met - almost a year later.

If a guy is a player or monger and is only targeting girls in that category and the girl flakes - well the reason is clear - she's meeting others. Your a fool to think the girl doesn't have other options on who to bang. But if the girl's even halfway good she may have fun chatting with the player online, but will be reticent to meet with him, knowing that he isn't actually interested in her.

Remember too that the Philippines is an incredibly communal culture. So if you move into a city/town/barangay and tell just one person "I love Filipinas and would like to find a good one for marriage," within a day everyone will know. But if you tell just one person, "I love Filipinas and can't wait to see how many I can bag here," within one day everyone will know that too.

Again it's a broken record, but if a guy is a good guy, sincere and interested in a real relationship he will have no lack of interested women in the Philippines.
so basically you came to philippines for one single girl? See most guys can't and wont do that because its a huge risk and its beyond ridiculous. I sort of came for one girl but it wasn't my first rodeo and i could have always gone back to my old bargirl or played the field if things didnt work out. but most guys are not gonna come to philippines for one single girl they dont know if its their first or 2nd trip i would think or maybe any trip.
Did you read my post? I clearly stated that I came to meet several girls. OK, truth be told it was more than just meet :) I visited PI several times and finally decided to focus on Janet and see if it would work with her. If it hadn't worked with her I knew plenty of others.

But yes, ultimately I was looking for the right one for me.

It might surprise you but I totally agree with what you and Will generally say. If a guy is a player or monger he will ultimately tire of the Philippines either because playing becomes boring, he runs out of girls willing to play in the way he wants, he comes to realize that the most attractive/smart girls don't want a player. At that point he starts looking around and realizes he's in a developing country with lots of girls, most of which he can't get because as Outwest says they can spot the players. Pretty soon he starts hating the place and the girls.

Not surprisingly you will never hear guys like me, Pete or Outwest say we hate the place. It gave us a great life.

good points. You got me interested though how was your first few trips like? What kind of experiences did you have? I remember in one blog you said you were with one girl and she blew you off later for some other guy. you got lucky in the end so thats not a good sign for the rest of us if even you had bad streaks on the first few trips.

Honestly im surprised will n dowd has surived as long as he has going through so many women. Like i said i tended to stick to one live in usually so i could build rapport and have a lot of experiences together. bouncing from woman to woman is not really my think (even though i did it towards the end of my stay even though i had a girlfriend). but if i find a girl im truly happy with i would prefer to be just her its just hard finding a girl im very attracted to that i hit off with chemistry wise. ill even settle on the education or job part if the girl is sweet and loves sex and is very attractive (borderline cute isn't enough to keep me entertained especially if the girl doesn't enjoy sex a whole lot) but someone that isn't a complete hoe but hell even finding that isn't so easy.

I think like hammanta has said before its like porn you expect higher and higher until you can never be happy if you are looking to be a player or monger. Im not really in that category i prefer to stick with one girl but im not looknig for a wife and i have high standards and will foola round if i find a better deal so im sort of in between.

Do you think will n dowd will get tire of the place and maybe only be there part time per year in teh future?
davewe
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Re: Most Filipinas only like the idea of meeting foreigners

Post by davewe »

newlifeinphilippines wrote:
good points. You got me interested though how was your first few trips like? What kind of experiences did you have? I remember in one blog you said you were with one girl and she blew you off later for some other guy. you got lucky in the end so thats not a good sign for the rest of us if even you had bad streaks on the first few trips.

Do you think will n dowd will get tire of the place and maybe only be there part time per year in teh future?
I had a blast on my first few trips. I found no shortage of attractive young women anxious to meet. Does that mean they were all good girls and would have all made good wives? Nope. But I am sure a lot of them would have. Truth be told in both my online experiences and in country experiences I have a boatload of fun and funny experiences. It truly is a different culture with different attitudes and a guy can either decide to like/accept that or hate it. I chose to like it.

You are correct, at first I selected a girl and it ultimately blew up. But as I said in my blog she f-ed me over and I loved every minute of the f-ing. So even the bad experience was positive. Afterwards, Pete's wife had some advise and told me that it was a red flag that she didn't want me to immediately meet her family; that any good girl who is interested in you will want to do this very quickly. So I learned and moved on and ended up with someone better.

So yes, in the end I got lucky - but I also made my own luck.

As to Will N, I hate predicting about other's lives. He certainly doesn't sound as enthusiastic as he did at first but who knows.
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