Finally Realizing That It's Not Me....

[polya]

Hey guys, we've really got a long way off track from the first posting about the Phillippine's girls, but I really enjoyed reading this forum. I hope all your ideas for businesses and a life in the Phillippines or wherever works out for you. I'd definately recommend leaving America - for all the reasons you've listed, not to mention I think after the next "terorist" attack the laws will be changed to stop money and people leaving (just like the Berlin Wall), so now's the time to go. If the worst comes to worst, you can just abandon your life & debts in the USA & start fresh somewhere else - but as most people do return to the USA, this option has to be thought out.
I can imagine guys committing suicide in Thailand, etc. and theres no pity for foreign tourists from the local people - robbing tourists is a sport.
Have a great 2010 everyone.

[globetrotter]

Ladislav,

On everything you post you are spot on. Everything on your blog, your forum posts on various forums, all insightful useful and accurate.

Except this post on CC debt.

The USA is collapsing under its debt burden. Debt is slavery and is not a good thing. At some point soon, the Chinese and others will not buy 1800 Billion of US Treasuries per year to fund the USA party and then it is lights out.

Debt is a bad thing, it always is. Student loans have increased the cost of a USA education 3x the inflation rate over the past 40 years. Without that easy money, that credit, the cost of college would be much lower.

Same with autos and Houses. The house debt in the USA is destroying the country and the banking system. The Gov't debt is destroying the country. The USA has had 2 (!) $800 B bailouts to basically pay off interest on bad investments. What have the Chinese done? Spent $200 B on 16,000 km of 325 kph German designed and Chinese built CHR TGV hi-speed rail. Who is going to be better off? The nation that spends its extra cash on CC finance charges or the one that builds high speed rail?

If you cannot pay cash you cannot afford it.

If you do not have a nest egg, and/or people who will bail you out if you lose it all while overseas, then you have no business being overseas. It is that simple. I have multiple friends and relatives who can and will send me money to get the f**k out if that is needed.

I have to strongly disagree with your advocacy of debt and CC's - a terrible idea.

If you cannot pay cash you cannot afford it. Do without.

[globetrotter]

But I think I know what you mean- you probably worry that you may not be given a passport or be stopped at the airport? I do not think so. Never heard of anything like this happening. Just before you expatriate, work out a payment plan with your creditors or go on some consumer credit counseling program if you can't hack the payments.
But is that what you mean?

Yeah, something like that. I was worried that I might not get a long-term visa if I had debt.

I figure if I work another year or two at my current job I can get my debt payments down to a manageable level, and
have the cash to get certified as an ESL teacher and move abroad.

This is common in other countries, the ME for instance. In Israel if you owe someone money they can go the the IDF and border folks and have you stopped from leaving the country.

An Israeli PhD. in Mech Eng I know thinks that is how it is in the USA. I told him that we fought a war over this concept and that it is in the Constitution "No Debtors Prison",thus the US has massive debt at all levels of society, but you CAN freely leave even if you owe. I think only taxes and child support get you stopped, and then only if you are a big fish. He doesn't believe me. Engineers always think they are right - it is f***ing annoying.

[Mr S]

Grunt, I grew up in New Hampshire and I think you would like living there. It's an independent minded moderate state and most of the population has a decent education so you and your wife won't be hounded like you were in Montana and Virginia. I don't think it will secede but it's constitution is very old school and prevents politicians from amassing too much power unlike neighboring states like Massachusetts.

I don't think you would like Vermont as it's super liberal and has some of the highest taxes in the country. It's constitution is unique in the fact that it was considered an independent country before joining the USA and could secede if it wanted but I doubt that would ever happen any time soon.
If you want to move to Canada you may want to check out Nova Scotia, Halifax area. It's similar to northern New England but very Canadian.

If you ever end up moving to New Hampshire let me know and we can meet up sometime if I visit. Look at moving to either the central or south eastern part of the state near Maine or the coast. Southern NH is the most expensive part and has a mix of Massachusetts mindset. I grew up in Southern NH, so know the area fairly well. NH also has a very high standard of living, but it is more expensive to live there and the winters can sometimes be brutal. Stay away from living in Manchester or surrounding area. Stick to the smaller town or cities.

Any other questions about NH let me know...

[ladislav]

If you cannot pay cash you cannot afford it. Do without.[/quote]

That proverb sounds like something out of the 1950ies or even earlier when America was the richest country in the world, the US wages were the highest and no one actually needed credit. Or it even sounds like something out of the pre-automotive age. You could live a pretty decent lifestyle even without education- just get a factory job and you can have a wife, a house, kids would be in college, etc. But things have changed! Try saving money now!

You certainly have the right to disagree with me and my approach to things. And if your way works for you and you want to advocate it, again you have the right to appeal to people to do that. I personally do not wish to work many years/decades to be able to afford a car and to buy a house. I will have to save for 30 years at the rate the present average salaries in the US are. And that is what the Chinese choose to do- work 15 hours a day for 30-40 years to retire old and rich. But then, even if they wanted credit, it would not be so easy to get with their small salaries.

And I do not think the Chinese model works for me. If the Chinese like it, then fine. But then their salaries are very low anyway. I say, if you can afford monthly payments on your credit, you should go for it but be careful regardless. Also, if someone offers you a job and you need a car now to get there or a ticket now or you want to get married now and not wait a long time till you can save it and you again know more or less how you will be servicing the loan, go ahead and borrow. No one will jail you, right?

Wages in the USA do not allow average people to save much unless they are foreigners from poor countries and are happy saving $500 a month and living in slums and all. It used to be a good place to save for Americans but no more. That is why if you are not a doctor or a lawyer in the US, you do not really have a good life. But you used to. In the 1950ies. And if you go abroad and suddenly the unexpected happens and you lose your nest egg or get a tax bill out of nowhere or God knows what occurs, you should have your AmEx. Worry about paying it back later. Better some headache when you talk to Amex people on the phone and then bankruptcy at worst than being reamed in a Thai prison for overstaying your visa. Or you have a nest egg and then your ATM card is not working. So what are you going to do?
Debt is only bad if you cannot afford servicing it. But that is my opinion and my approach- utilize any means possible to attain your goal and if it takes borrowing, then borrow.

If I go to Saudi to work and I do not have money because I need to wait one month to get a salary and I use my credit card to buy food and to get an emergency cash advance to tide me over which will not cost that much anyway, then I will go ahead and do that. I will not wait until I have saved up money to go to Saudi because those companies do not run on my schedule. They need me there now and I must be there now.

[momopi]

The United States of America is not a pure democracy by strict defination, nor is the country capitalist by Laissez-faire standards. Ironically, the "Golden age of Capitalissm" era of 1945-1973 was the product of Keynesian economic policy, which considered the free market to be inefficient and should be regulated by government (and central bank) fiscal policy. We can observe the result on financial news headlines about how the "Feds" are cutting or increasing interest rates.

In order for a libertrian style laissez-faire system to work, people must assume personal responsibility for their financial decisions and any consequences. This means, if you make a bad decision, you don't blame other people or demand the government to bail you out each time, unlike our... esteemed <cough> banking and automobile establishments.

But private industry is not solely responsible for the culture of crying for government bailouts. Our government decided some time in the past that they should impose laws to protect us when we make stupid financial decisions. Laws such as bankruptcy protection, and making the first (original) mortgage a nonrecourse debt. I think we've seen enough bankruptcy protection commercials, so let's skip that and go on nonrecourse debts.

A nonrecourse debt is a secured loan with collateral, but the borrower is not personally liable. What it means is, if the borrower defaults, the lender can seize the collateral, but not beyond that. So if the loan is greater than the collatoral, the lender assumes the loss and the borrower walks away.

To cite an example, let's say if you bought a $360,000 house with $300,000 loan. Then 2 years later the real estate market crashes and the value of the house crashes to $150,000. You decide to default on the loan and walk away. The bank can foreclose your house, but cannot go after your other assets to recover the shortfall.

It's a great policy for home buyers and investors like me, but sucks for the bank. Imagine if you had to loan $300 to your friend, and your friend refuse to pay it back and gives you $150 worth of used video games instead, and the law prohibtis you from recovering the $150 short fall. That is how American banks are required to operate by law, it's the price of not having to take full responsibility for our financial decisions when things go bad.

If you're wondering why such laws were enacted, think back to your high school days when you had to read Charles Dickens novels. His father was unable to pay back debts and was sent to the Marshalsea Debtor's Prison, which greatly influenced Charles Dicken's writings. In England, up until 1869, you were sent to prison for failing to pay back debts. For more info, read here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marshalsea_Prison

Understand that there's a price for everything. Benefits such as easy credit, loans, mortgages, and default protection all come at a price. If you want the right to bear arms as a private citizen, you must accept the increased risk from small arms proliferation. If you want to win at the craps table at Vegas, you must accept the risk of losing your debt. If you want to be protected with nonresource loans, you must accept the increased financial risk imposed on banks and the price of large government bailouts (or bank closure). That's how it is.

[momopi]

Good debt vs. Bad debt.

Not all debts are bad. Some debts are good. From a cashflow positive perspective, anything that generates positive cash-flow is good, and negative cash-flow is bad. Thus, if you borrowed $100,000 to buy a rental/income house, and after paying the mortgage and expenses, you gain a positive mothly cash-flow of $500, you did well. But if you borrowed $$ to buy a new car that depreciates from day 1 when you drive it off the car lot, it's a bad debt (unless if it's vital asset to your business).

Personally, I think money spent on education and improving your life is well spent. So student loans isn't always bad. College education is an investment that often results in higher salary. But ultimately, you need to decide if you live to work or work to live. You can't take $ with you when you die, so mind as well make $ to live well.

My teacher told me a story that his teacher taught him. Once about a time a family was driving through a small town. They stopped at a gas station next to the town cemetary. Out of curiosity, the father went to the cemetary to read some headstones. On the headstones, it read "John Doe, 2 years", "Jane Doe, 3 years 6 months", and so on.

Immediately, he thought it was a children's cemetary. But then something just didn't add up. So he went to the gas station to ask the owner what it was about. The owner told him that in this town, they have a tradition where when someone dies, they put the total length of time that person had truely enjoyed life on the headstone. Thus, if someone died at 80, but only truely enjoyed 8 years of his life, his headstone would read "8 years".

So, think about this and ask yourself what numbers would be on your headstone. If you've lived for 40 years and can't think of the last time that you really enjoyed doing something, maybe you should consider spending the next 40 years to fill up that number on the headstone.

Buying everything with cash is prudent, but probably won't bump that number on the headstone faster.

[Master2]

If there is one thing I have learned since being married, its that debt drains every bit of joy from life. Ive given myself ulcers because I borrowed $10,000 from my uncle to move (escape?) from Montana to Virginia 7 months ago. We are now pouring every cent of our expendable income into getting rid of that loan.

We live like pawns and its basically destroyed my relationship with my uncle. I eat canned soup all week, and I have holes in my jeans and shoes, but my uncle gets his $1500 a month!

We have dedicated this year, 2010, to getting 100% out of debt once and for all. I am off to a good start, as I just got forgiveness for $15,000 worth of student loans because I am a disabled veteran. I had a tax lien on my credit report over that student loan that dragged my score down into the low 600 range.

My wife has one credit card with a current balance of $4000, and once its paid off we are hiding the card somewhere and only using it for emergencies ONLY. We will never have another credit card. On a good note, this whole miserable situation has forced us to learn how to live within our means.

Once things settle down, I will sit and think about why Fred Reed moved to Mexico. He says, "There is more to life than debt service". Its the truth.

But we know you'll never move because with a $3700 pension at your age without having to work and you haven't moved yet and you are still bitching with your conspiracy theories while still in the USA, I would say you were full of shit. Of course, no one will take my side on this forum but that's ok. There are some intelligent people here still in this world. We just sometimes like to call them as we see them.

[globetrotter]

If you cannot pay cash you cannot afford it. Do without.

That proverb sounds like something out of the 1950ies or even earlier when America was the richest country in the world, the US wages were the highest and no one actually needed credit.

If I go to Saudi to work and I do not have money because I need to wait one month to get a salary and I use my credit card to buy food and to get an emergency cash advance to tide me over which will not cost that much anyway, then I will go ahead and do that. I will not wait until I have saved up money to go to Saudi because those companies do not run on my schedule. They need me there now and I must be there now.

That aphorism is how China runs things now. Sure they are increasing credit, but they pay cash for most everything. As a result of saving first and delaying gratification they will be OK as they have NO DEBT. The USA on the other hand has seen its best days and will have an horrific reckoning in the near future due to massive indebtedness at all levels of society.

The USA had a $1.6 T stimulus and spent it on interest payments and bailing out insolvent banks to cover their debts.
The Chinese had a $600B stimulus and they are spending it on the world's greatest CHR TGV system.

[globetrotter]

A nonrecourse debt is a secured loan with collateral, but the borrower is not personally liable. What it means is, if the borrower defaults, the lender can seize the collateral, but not beyond that. So if the loan is greater than the collatoral, the lender assumes the loss and the borrower walks away.

To cite an example, let's say if you bought a $360,000 house with $300,000 loan. Then 2 years later the real estate market crashes and the value of the house crashes to $150,000. You decide to default on the loan and walk away. The bank can foreclose your house, but cannot go after your other assets to recover the shortfall.

It's a great policy for home buyers and investors like me, but sucks for the bank. Imagine if you had to loan $300 to your friend, and your friend refuse to pay it back and gives you $150 worth of used video games instead, and the law prohibtis you from recovering the $150 short fall. That is how American banks are required to operate by law, it's the price of not having to take full responsibility for our financial decisions when things go bad.

Be careful with this guys.

Get the advice of a professional planner, a CPA and an attorney.

The banks have recently begun filing Deficiency Judgments against some homeowners who walked or Short Saled.

In effect, they are suing for the balance of money you owe them even though you are 300k underwater on your house.

Your state and jurisdiction will differ, so seek legal counsel.

[raindreamer333]

I have seen that this thread has gone off course, so it is time to return it back to topic.

I was asked about what I meant when I said I don't approve of everything that Winston Wu says and does. What I disapprove of is the womanizing with numerous women instead of making a heart felt commitment to love and take care of one lady for life.

Finding my Filipina honey has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I agree with Wu when he says it is really all about culture and some people were meant to fit with different people. All the anxiety and social awkwardness I feel around many Westernized people suddenly evaporates when I am with my girlfriend. Even if tough things are happening in life, I still feel bliss every moment I am with her.

I have found some of Wu's principles are true even when comparing Westernized churches with churches of immigrants. I never really felt I fit in at my former Westernized church. Even the pastor told me that I was socially awkward. But when I started attending an all Filipino church, all my anxiety and awkwardness suddenly dissappeared. I felt at home, even on the first day. Even though I was the only white guy at an all Filipino church, I felt I fit in more than when I was attending a predominately Caucasion church. The women were different, and the men too.

The men at the church loved their wives, loved their country, loved their children, and loved Christ. The men at my former church like to spend time telling jokes about farting and everything was about sports, career, race cars, and other topics I found boring. At the Filipino church I found men - real men - who really understood life and helped me fit in. This website is geared towards men fitting in with non Western women, but it is also important to remember the important bonds that can be formed with men from other countries. The friendships I have formed usually deeper and more real than what I find among many Westernized men.

[ladislav]

We are all different people and we have different preferences in life and no one is to judge us. Some guys prefer a monogamous Christian life, some are polyamorous like me, hey, whatever jerks your dodoh. We can all find it here in the Philippines, the land of social and amorous plenty. And yes, I also feel that I can be myself in the Philippines and people just accept me the way I am. No judging or analyzing or giving unwanted advice or telling me to change.
I can only wish for this society to be just as efficient in other areas. Today three ATMs were not working, then, at the convenience store the price reader could not read bar codes. All the people around me were not reacting though or getting angry- everyone was smiling, no indignation, no complaints, I guess they have got their priorities straight, in some ways.

[raindreamer333]

Considering that Winston Wu had his heart broken many times in the American dating system, I find it disturbing that he would date lots of women and break their hearts also. One needs to be morally superior to that. If you understand what it feels like to be hurt, why hurt other people in the same way.

[Nate]

Considering that Winston Wu had his heart broken many times in the American dating system, I find it disturbing that he would date lots of women and break their hearts also. One needs to be morally superior to that. If you understand what it feels like to be hurt, why hurt other people in the same way.

I think the term "dating" is often used as a cover word for simply buying a prostitute. For those who live in other areas of the Philippines as I do, the term Courtship has meaning. In my experience, once a fellow makes a habit of buying bar girls, they rarely escape that life style- it has many addictive qualities, no matter how destructive it may be to the spirit. We all make our own choices in life, including those girls who choose to sell their bodies. It is not however, what I would honestly call a date. I have also noticed that some decent Filipinas manage to have some kind of radar for the womanizing whoremongers- they seem to spot them a mile away. I choose not to live that way myself, but that is my personal choice, to have a faithful and devoted relationship. Beyond that, I guess whores need customers, so it might be a match made in...well somewhere I guess haha...we all have to choose our own path...and live with the consequences....so I leave that to another man's choice.

Nate