My wife and I both believe that God brought us together, with the detailed answers to prayer, speaking to us. I even got some details about her in prayer that she told me the next time she called.
But does that mean she's 'the one.' I can remarry if our spouse dies. Which one of them would be 'the one'?
This 'the one' thing isn't the right way to look at it.
Watching hours of Disney romanticizing about marriage and relationships and all the other movies doesn't help women either. They need to have a realistic understanding that it's a relationship with a person, that there will be challenges.
I was watching some movie where a woman advised her daughter to find someone who would never break her heart or make her cry. The advice was stupid. But in the movie, the mother character was played by a single mother. It made sense. She didn't know what she was talking about.
In just about any marriage, the husband is going to make his wife's cry. Probably in a lot of marriage, the wife has made the husband cry a time or two. I suspect Chuck Norris has even shed a tear. He got a divorce after all.
If you date a woman with romanticized ideas, you might actually be able to talk some sense into her all the time. The danger is, with these girls, when she has the dopamine rush of feeling 'in love', she wants to be with you and marry you. But when it is over, after you are married, she decides you are not 'the one.' That's where it's dangerous. If you marry a woman with deep morals and convictions, hopefully she won't think that way. You can also explain to her about the dopamine rush wearing off, and how successful marriages continue on through the ebbs and flows of different feelings. You can tell her that Disney leaves out an important component of true love-- commitment. That includes commitment and staying faithful (and meeting each other's needs including sexual) at times when you aren't 'feeling it' as much as at other times.
If you can get her onboard with this philosophy before marriage, that's a good thing.
Something to keep in mind for those who want to marry young girls who haven't been 'spoiled' yet is that they may not have enough life experience to realize that that Disney or other Hollywood movie they saw doesn't accurately present real relationships. So you have to educate her a bit and explain how this stuff works. There are movies in foreign countries, too.
Foreign girls can have silly ideas, too. I don't think my wife has the same Disney myth, but she had this idea when we got married that we should always sleep facing each other. I told her my ear God hot if I always faced the same way. She got over it. She also had this idea that married people shouldn't pass gas in front of each other.
I told her about my friend with the Korean wife who would say, "Let it out Honey. It will make you feel better."
