Ghost, silver kudos to you. I found your comparison with Dante's Inferno quite erudite.Ghost wrote:Ah, but see...I was prepared for scams and rip-offs. Or at least I knew about those things. I occasionally went with an over-priced taxi if I needed to be somewhere fast. I didn't get ripped off all the time because I was looking out. It's just that flips TRY to rip foreigners off all the time. And, no, I don't think I could ever adapt to having to resist it every day for the rest of my life. Having to live in a fully untrustworthy society...I could in no way ever call that "winning." It is inherent loss. And now that I have seen the reality of a fully third-world, corrupt, no-trust society, it fills me with even more despair about the fall of the West.
It isn't feminism taking over the world that we have to worry about...it's the transformation of the planet into a third-world ghetto from which it never emerges.
The Philippines will never "develop" because it can't. Civilizations developing and prospering requires trust and morals. The Philippines has none.
I guarded against flips ripping me off and I was careful. I knew I had to. And then what happens? I get betrayed by my ex-gf and her brother.
It ultimately isn't about the money. I was robbed, it happens. I except it of third-world strangers. But when you can't trust your girlfriend's direct family? That is a level of evil so hopeless that it deserves immediate destruction.
Dante Alighieri's Inferno made sure all sinners were punished. And who got the worst punishments in the Ninth Circle of Hell? Betrayers.+-
Our forebears knew this truth. They were trying to warn future generations of the wages of evil. Betrayal is indeed the worst of evil.
We're lost. There is no "winning" in such a world.
It was quite apparent to me, from your story, that you stumbled upon a woman (and a family) of such low intellectual reach that her brother had the fatefully short-sighted idea of reaping the relatively modest reward on the spot than letting her benefit from your feelings of affection, compassion and commitment for the longer term. It is, and you couldn't say it better, the characteristic of an animal, to act by instinct and stay unaware of the consequences of their acts.
To be back to your metaphor, treachery from a person of trust (Brutus for Julius Caesar, Judas for Jesus) is indeed the most odious of sins. And yet, it was Jesus himself who said "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing". Whilst I have perhaps been luckier than you to have never been scammed or robbed by a Filipino, I know that people capable of killing the golden goose and be left with a couple of plain eggs abound in the Philippines.
It is a fact of life that poverty, ignorance and cynicism are a toxic mix that generate the most evil, reproachable of human behaviours. It is also a fact of life that, when steeped in dignity, humility and good moral values, the same poverty can create remarkable personalities, some of whom already are wonderful young women who would certainly make wonderful life partners and mothers.
When I was in Davao I spent some time talking to an Italian expat, a few years older than me, who had been living there for almost a year, and had just gotten engaged with an amazing 20-yo model like girl. To my perhaps nosy questions on how he could find a girl of such inner and outer beauty (she was really cute beyond belief, degree educated and absolutely devoted to her soon-to-be hubby), he said he had been purposely trying to date girls from families of medium-to-high cultural levels who did not sport a big bank account. He said a good sample, at least in the Philippines and Davao, was families where dad and mom are teachers, professional (non OFW) nurses and social workers, policemen etc. He had somehow understood that parents who embrace emotionally draining careers for little financial reward, must be motivated by vocation, a genuine desire to help and set an morally sound example for those around them...including their young daughters.
He said he had found her "perfect half" after only dating 3 or 4 girls, which considering he had landed in Davao with zilch connections and with no "pipeline" of sort, I would consider a fantastic result. At that point, the next big question was: how did he get to meet these quality girls? And here's the revelation: by befriending the family before or instead of meeting the girl, not after. As an approach, he wasn't that far from what they used to do in Italy until before the cultural revolution of the 60s, and actually re-enacting what still happens in traditional Filipino families to a tee. If you think about it, what is it better: to meet a young woman whose moods are volatile by definition, her personality (probably) a work in progress, and try to infer as much as possible from the rare and occasional peeks into her relational/family background, or get to know a few good adult men, winning their trust and respect the way only a man-to-man rapport can build, then perhaps meet their wives and close family and have deep, prolonged chances to learn the socio-cultural and moral humus their kids are growing into.
At some point, whether in front of a glass of whiskey or a cheap San Mig and grilled fish, said family men and women will naturally take the lead start asking about your dating life (or lack thereof), perhaps tongue in cheek, or perhaps more seriously.
That's the moment when they will be showing you that:
1) they feel intimate enough to ask you questions that you might well find uncomfortable
2) they are willing and able to help in that department and, most importantly,
3) they like and respect you enough to entrust you with the kind of prospect they will not risk losing face about; the kind of woman they would want their own son to marry.
Fact is, like all fathers in the world, a Filipino dad could be as protective as it gets towards her young blossoming angel. That, until you know what a typical Filipino family is: it ain't just mom, dad and a couple of kids like in the US. It's a large clan-like ensemble spanning several generations and degrees or kinship. As such, there will always be a niece, a cousin, a trusted family friend's daughter, sometimes even a granddaughter that is good looking, single and eligible.
The most important thing is to establish that elusive link with the good, the honest, the hard working, the humble, the compassionate Filipino family MAN. Which, especially in highly gregarious cultures like the Philippines (but also much of Latin America), is far, far easier than meeting and being seen alone with a young unmarried girl and taking a punt on the quality of her intentions. Once that man friendship happens, navigating the social graph will be probably yielding comparably good quality people, more adult men to chat, drink and laugh with, more mature women and mothers who will read your heart and know that you're a good man for someone good.
Unfortunately I cannot write about my friend in more detail nor post pictures of him and his beautiful bride. PM me if you're interested. And yes, unlike much of Roosh's bombastic fiction, it's a story as true as the hearts that made it happen.