I think I'm starting to have feelings for this Filipina

[MarcosZeitola]

I told her she's sexy which she said "I'm not, OMG." After she was tired and went to take a nap I kept sending her messages telling her the reason I like her is because she's intelligent and looks younger than her age, and most importantly, I like mature women. She was busy yesterday so she didn't really talk to me. She's Christian too so I told her "God loves you and I love you too." Before I can actually go see Rose darling in SG what should be my next moves?

How much do you like her, and how serious are you about her? If you are flying over to meet up with her, you better be serious about her and she about you. You could tell her about your intention to meet with her if you haven't already, to show how serious you are. And you may want to start looking for a place to stay, too. If you two hit it off, it may be good to have a place where you can be by yourself and have some privacy, so that you can really get to know each other on a deeper level.

[Bao3niang]

I like her a lot, and I am serious about her. I always try to talk to her once a day and I feel sad if she is busy. I really enjoy her sense of humor, maturity, intelligence, and the way she flirts and carries herself. She can play the piano and the guitar and likes drawing. She has been abroad in SG and Lebanon (I was surprised to hear that she was in Lebanon!), making her worldly and more knowledgeable. I'm Definetely inclined towards her. Again I don't give a darn about age and she said I am mature.

[MarcosZeitola]

I like her a lot, and I am serious about her. I always try to talk to her once a day and I feel sad if she is busy. I really enjoy her sense of humor, maturity, intelligence, and the way she flirts and carries herself. She can play the piano and the guitar and likes drawing. She has been abroad in SG and Lebanon (I was surprised to hear that she was in Lebanon!), making her worldly and more knowledgeable. I'm Definetely inclined towards her. Again I don't give a darn about age and she said I am mature.

Have you asked her if she feels the same way? She keeps saying things like "you are young", this and that. Like she is impressed by your maturity but at the same time questions whether or not things will work out because she's so much older and more experienced then you with life.

If you like her a lot, gotta find out if she feels the same way. So when she has time, talk, and when she has no time, work towards the future and plan for an amazing stay. What are her views on marriage, and her plans for the future? Your plans and her own need to be compatible.

[Bao3niang]

So:

1. Ask her if she feels the same way as I do about her?

2. Ask her what she thinks about marriage, her world view etc.

[MarcosZeitola]

So:

1. Ask her if she feels the same way as I do about her?

2. Ask her what she thinks about marriage, her world view etc.

Yes, you should definitely ask her about that. Ask her also:

3. Where do you see yourself in the (near) future?

4. Is being with a (much) younger man okay to you, or is my age a dealbreaker? (as in: explicitly ask her if you'd be 'just a special friend', or more)

Never hurts to know. The more you know, the wiser you are.

[Bao3niang]

Thanks. Marcos what country are you originally from? Any more tips you can give on Filipinas?

[MarcosZeitola]

Thanks. Marcos what country are you originally from? Any more tips you can give on Filipinas?

I am Dutch.

What I know about Filipinas is that family is everything to them. She will almost certainly want a family of her own, and she will likely be close to her parent(s) and siblings, as well as other relatives in the first, second and even third degree. When you meet her in the Philippines, expect to meet a million cousins and second cousins, nieces and nephews. Show them your respect, and they will respect you for it. Also do not talk negatively about your own family, because Filipinas respect their parents a lot and expect you to do the same.

Filipinas aren't always the most practical... some of them are dreamers, others are lazy... the type that stays single until her late twenties so she can work, is different. That's the serious type! She's likely thinking about the future a lot, and would like to make concrete plans. The approval of her family also means a lot so meeting them and having their blessing for your relationship is a worthy investment.

If you go for her, go for her 100%. You stop being a kid, and you become a man that day. Take your responsibilities, and make sure you are able to provide for her. Also think of where you'd want to live together, what kind of work you'd have and other practical things like that. Oh and be romantic! Filipinas often love Korean, American or Latino romance films and soaps. Sweet little gestures can last you a long way! Be a gentleman, and be kind. Have a sense of humor. Be easy-going, but also hard working. And when you are together... passionate!

Good luck! You are young but I will not say this is a negative: I was not much older then you when I met the girl who is now my wife. Don't be discouraged by anything anyone here says, or anywhere else. If you want her, get her, and never lose sight of what's important. Make love your priority, and when you do, make her your focus and not other women. Even before you are married, if she truly cares for you she will be jealous if you go to meet other "potential partners".

[Bao3niang]

Good. How old are you and how old is your wife? I am going for TESOL / CELTA teaching. I heard CELTA grants the best chances of landing a decent paying teaching job. Her father is dead, her mother can support herself. Her sister has two children. She lives with her sister now. Her own younger sister is in school and she had to quit university after one year to support her sister. What do Filipinas think of a guy that can't earn a lot or can't work for a while (I.e. circumstances) and need her support for a while?

[Bao3niang]

I'm not a romantic type and I'm clingy but I do have a sense of humor and I like passion(though I am still a virgin). I'm easy going and not the hard working type. Overall I am just a sweet, kind, clingy, caring, and emotional individual. I consider myself just normal.

[Bao3niang]

Since I am a little shy in real life I'm not the leader / initiative type. Don't know if it will hurt me with her.

[MarcosZeitola]

Good. How old are you and how old is your wife?

I am 23 and my wife is 21. We met when I was 20, also on the internet.

I am going for TESOL / CELTA teaching. I heard CELTA grants the best chances of landing a decent paying teaching job.

That's excellent! Stay very focused on your education and work hard, but keep your eyes open for other opportunities because a smart man doesn't bet on one horse.

She lives with her sister now. Her own younger sister is in school and she had to quit university after one year to support her sister.

That's an issue, too. She will likely help her sister out. The younger one, definitely, and maybe also the older one and her kids. They will be her first priority now, until things get better financially. She is the sibling who sacrificed herself to help the others, which is why she is single at her age. It's common in the Philippines and she probably sees it as her duty.

What do Filipinas think of a guy that can't earn a lot or can't work for a while (I.e. circumstances) and need her support for a while?

They are okay with it, in theory, but may not have the funds to support you. I do not know how well her job pays, where she lives (is it in a city, then it will be more expensive) and how much tuition for her younger sister is. Of course if it's only for a very short time, and the love is true, then you are a worthy investment and she sounds like someone who's clever enough to understand that. As the man, you will be expected to take care of you, of her and your future children. Perhaps not right away, and she can certainly do her part, (work, start a business, etc.,) but it will be your task. You are a traditional person from what I gather so it will probably fit you.

I'm not a romantic type and I'm clingy but I do have a sense of humor and I like passion(though I am still a virgin). I'm easy going and not the hard working type. Overall I am just a sweet, kind, clingy, caring, and emotional individual. I consider myself just normal.

Easy-going is good! Filipinas are usually very easy-going, the entire culture is like that. You'd fit right in. Of course there still has to be money on the bank and food on the table so you can't be TOO easy going. As for the passion, sure you'll figure that out. Try to take initiative in the relationship, and limit the clinginess. Filipinas like masculine men. Sweet, caring and emotional is fine but being too clingy is not exactly a plus. If she likes you the way you are, don't change! But keep your focus and your feet on the ground.

[Bao3niang]

She currently lives in San Fernando, Pampanga. The provinces, not a big city like Manila or Angeles. I don't know about her sister's tuition fees. She worked as a caretaker in Lebanon and Singapore and will return to Singapore to work as a caretaker for a Chinese Singaporean family. Marcos I can send you a photo of myself if you want, just give me your email. I am 5 foot 8 and a half approx, full Chinese, a few extra pounds, wears glasses. I look like the geeky type, so not by any definition masculine.

[MarcosZeitola]

She currently lives in San Fernando, Pampanga. The provinces, not a big city like Manila or Angeles. I don't know about her sister's tuition fees. She worked as a caretaker in Lebanon and Singapore and will return to Singapore to work as a caretaker for a Chinese Singaporean family. Marcos I can send you a photo of myself if you want, just give me your email. I am 5 foot 8 and a half approx, full Chinese, a few extra pounds, wears glasses. I look like the geeky type, so not by any definition masculine.

That's alright, man. I am sure you are fine. If you wish for further contact you may shoot me a PM because this is a public forum.

Since she worked abroad, she likely has quite a bit of money compared to the average Filipina. Foreign workers are the highest earner there. I've heard some pretty bad things about Filipinas being mistreated by their Chinese or Arab employers, it's not always the best job in terms of treatment. But it pays well, so she's not as financially dependent or desperate as, say, an unemployed girl who's never left the country. That speaks well for her character, and also for your chances with her. Financially, she's independent. So if she chooses you, she chooses love first.

Looks aren't all that important, masculinity is in the attitude. What she likes most about you is your intelligence and the fact that you and her can have fun conversations. Everything else comes second to that. The chemistry is everything! And from what I hear, there's definitely chemistry. The ultimate proof, of course, will be when you meet her IRL, but staying in regular contact and talking about some serious and practical things helps a lot.

Judging from what you told me, she's a mature and serious girl. A good girl. She will make you happy, but you got to do your part too. And I'm sure you are more then willing to do so. To step up to the plate, when the time comes.

PS: What do your parents think of you being with an older woman? If you feel they may disapprove, better be vague with them. If they try to persuade you not to go or anything in the near future, don't let yourself be talked out of it. You have to figure things out for yourself. Have your own successes, and perhaps your own failures, so you may learn from them. She sounds like a keeper, so keep her!

[newlifeinphilippines]

I agree it doesnt' create love or interest. But there is other benefits to money like i said. you can help others and you can have freedom and time to do other things than working for the man. A poor man wont help anyone except himself. Im not a materialistic person but I know with that money i can eventually help someone else along the lines. And Ill have the freedom and time to pursue other things someday. For now i need to buckle down and save up.

But you yourself have admitted your job is not completely legal and could be shut down. Hell I could go out pushing some coke and make thousands of dollars. Doesn't mean I am a solid provider. But I'll refrain from judgement on that issue.

Now regarding money, even though you have a lot, you aren't really doing anything with it. Even in the Philippines you said you rarely go out and do anything and choose to work all the time. How is that happiness? You are saving for your future, I get it, but what if your future never comes? Wasting one's youth is a terrible thing and correct me if I'm wrong but you don't seem very happy at the current moment. So you are saving for a future that might not even be that lucrative or valuable in the end.

He doesn't want to have a serious relationship, get married, or have kids... so his 'future' will be him banging cheap sluts and bargirl hoes well into old age, and coming home to a big empty home. I rather be poor and have a loving wife then be rich and have no one to share my wealth with. And it's not as if you can take money with you when you die, either. He may consider an early retirement but with Newlife's obvious commitment issues, I seriously doubt it'll be a very rewarding retirement.

LOL i never said my future was to bang cheap sluts and bargirls. Unlike you im not an atheist so I dont believe in that kind of lifestyle of no purpose. Actually quite the opposite when one can retire or at least get closer to it then they can get more SERIOUS and take things slow to find a nice girl. How can one find a w ife or a serious relationship when they dont have the money or time to travel or are so busy with work they can't enjoy their travel. For example will n dowd could spend the time to go on dates nad meet many women and take his time he chooses not too. A guy like me blowing through town for a few weeks or months then has to go back home and focus on work is not gonna be able to get serious with anyone. At least not in my world.

I actually think what will n dowd is doing is quite empty. If i was moving to a place i would take things slow and develop a relatinship with one girl. Just playing a new girl every day or week forever is not what i want out of life. Im not a monger even though you may think that.


anyways the next time i travel to phil and asia im just gonna keep things casual and make it more about sightseeing and having fun.

[newlifeinphilippines]

I agree it doesnt' create love or interest. But there is other benefits to money like i said. you can help others and you can have freedom and time to do other things than working for the man. A poor man wont help anyone except himself. Im not a materialistic person but I know with that money i can eventually help someone else along the lines. And Ill have the freedom and time to pursue other things someday. For now i need to buckle down and save up.

But you yourself have admitted your job is not completely legal and could be shut down. Hell I could go out pushing some coke and make thousands of dollars. Doesn't mean I am a solid provider. But I'll refrain from judgement on that issue.

Now regarding money, even though you have a lot, you aren't really doing anything with it. Even in the Philippines you said you rarely go out and do anything and choose to work all the time. How is that happiness? You are saving for your future, I get it, but what if your future never comes? Wasting one's youth is a terrible thing and correct me if I'm wrong but you don't seem very happy at the current moment. So you are saving for a future that might not even be that lucrative or valuable in the end.

Well to be honest im not happy in asia either there is a lot of b.s you have to deal with there. Im actually happier here in america its nice and peaceful and drama free. Its just lonely but there is some perks to that. well the alternative is not caring and in a few years have no savings and no backup plan and living on the street or at my parents with not even 1 dollar to my name. So how is that fun? ive had my fun in asia im not missing that much except a bunch of easy poor skanks. And im not ready for marriage yet cause im not financially secure nor do i want a wife at my age. So what exactly are you suggesting? I blow my future retirement with no backup plan cause i need to take a trip once a year cause its more preferable over porn? Cause i aint gonna teach english as a backup plan. You are gonna be a slave to your job always I understand that so you want me to go blow my money and lose focus on my work cause i have the freedom to travel. No thanks. I get myself into trouble anyways when i leave the house.