The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

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MarcosZeitola
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Post by MarcosZeitola »

davewe wrote:MZ - I can understand your frustration and have felt it several times. Here we have discovered a place with some fine, sweet and sexy women, and find that those women are potentially available to us, even those of us who are not handsome, young, rich or famous. And what we want to do is tell our friends, tell our relatives, hell we want to tell complete strangers to check it out.

So what happens? People don't listen, they don't believe, they make up excuses about why you had success but they can't. And even if, like the OP, they decide to visit, their methodology is so flawed they are incapable of discovering what you discovered. Yes, it's frustrating - but it's inevitable. Most people, even most lonely Westerners will never visit a place like the Philippines, and those few who do will not all be able to see it as we do.

There's a reason that one of the oldest clichés is "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink." You will never be able to get the OP to drink the water. Fortunately a few will. An example:

I work in cubicle land. A week ago the guy in literally the cube next to me, who I don't know at all (other than his name) pops his head into my cube and says, "I've been reading your blog and really like it." I thank him profusely and then he continues, "I'm married to a Filipina - 13 years." We start talking about our experiences, how he met her, where she's from, etc. The experiences are similar.

There are plenty of us out there who have been able to drink the water, but millions who never will. You can lead people, offer advise and guidance, but ultimately it's up to them to drink.
Thank you for your wise words, Dave. You are always good at putting things in perspective. ;)

It is true that these people only sell themselves short and that, frustrating as it may be, there is nothing I can do to change a man's mind who is set in his beliefs. People can be awfully stubborn, and that's their right. It's just a shame when people are shooting themselves in the foot like that. Some people are simply being wilfully ignorant, and it gets to me sometimes. I know it's not the classiest or the smartest move for me, but it happens. Sometimes I snap a little.

I guess it just pains me to see people go to such extreme lengths to prove their point, and dismissing any evidence or stories to the contrary, or well-meant advice given to them. And there's the fact that I married a Filipina, am well on my way of learning the language and have a half-Filipina child. As a result, I tend to get a little protective of my adopted homeland at times. When people are slandering it, or its people, or otherwise telling flat-out lies and bullshit, I just don't like it.

But yes, you are completely right: you can lead a horse to the water, but you cannot make him drink. It's time we let horsy be, and make his own mistakes. It's not my life, or yours, but his and his alone. The consequences of his actions are also fully his. Nothing we can do about it. Just wish he wouldn't have used such a misleading title... :(
On "Faux-Tradionalists" and why they're heading nowhere: viewtopic.php?style=1&f=37&t=29144
lasttry
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Post by lasttry »

There are 8 reasons for sex: procreation, physical pleasure (beyond what you get from masturbation), deepen a spiritual connection by taking it to the physical realm, money (mostly applies to women, since men normally lose money on sex, whether with hookers or simply the costs of dating, such as these trips overseas), physical health (people who can't masturbate might need sex for relief of tension), favor to other person (mostly applies to married women who don't like sex but agree to do their wifely duties), validation, entertainment.

Entertainment is an amplifier/deamplifier of other reasons and doesn't apply if there is no other motive. That is, when people who have some other motive for sex (especially physical pleasure) are bored (such as on vacation), sex looms very large in importance, since they need a way to pass the time. Whereas these same people, when very busy with work, might avoid sex, even though the sex drive remains strong.

For people who can masturbate, and you confess to being a compulsive masturbator since your teens, and for whom none of the first 6 motives applies, validation is the primary reason for wanting sex, and that seems to be the case for you. You admit you are not at peace with yourself, and that is why you are bothering with sex and that is the very essence of having validation as the primary motive for sex. Whereas most of the men on this forum are at least partly motivated by physical pleasure and procreation, which are the two strongest motives, though validation also plays a prominent role for all of them. Validation by itself is a weak motive. It boils down to doing what other people tell you to do because you can't think for yourself. Society (such as people like MarcosZeitola with his shaming diatribes) has programmed you to feel like a failure because you are not having sex with women and this is why you are not at peace. Having sex with women will likely NOT bring you any more peace than what you have now. Basically, with or without sex, there will always be a low-level buzzing in your mind to the effect "am I doing the right thing with regards to sex?" That voice is the voice of social programming, and it is next to impossible to eradicate completely.

There are some commonalities between me and you, I should note, in that validation long loomed as the dominant reason for me to bother with sex. My response was to get sexually involved with women and then I discovered that the pleasure is indeed better than with masturbation, though not greatly so. When I semi-retired at age 34, I suddenly had a huge amount of free time on my hands, at which point the entertainment motive amplified the physical pleasure and validation motives, so that I was strongly pressured to have lots of sex for about 10 years. Eventually, the validation motive died off when I freed myself from social programming (no longer care about what other people think, no longer have much of a voice of society in my head), plus I learned how to masturbate very well (in particular, I learned to be multi-orgasmic and avoid peak orgasm so that I can have hundreds of valley orgasms per day) so that the physical pleasure motive also became insignificant. I was still involved with a woman at that point (early 40's) but only continued having sex with her as a favor because she could not masturbate (my boyfriend duties, so to speak) and as a way of deepening our spiritual connection by taking it to the physical realm. Eventually, we had to break up because I was traveling a lot and then had to move away to save money, and she wanted a full-time boyfriend, but we remain good friends and have sex whenever I pass through the town where she lives, assuming she is not involved with someone else. [Edit to finish my original train of thought, which I lost track of. As I noted, I broke up with this woman when I moved to a cheaper city at age 44 (I got pushed out of my apartment by an owner move-in and the new rents were exorbitant in San Francisco) and then went into a 10-year period of celibacy, during which I became more and more comfortable with masturbation as my sole sexual outlet. Then, for some reason which I still don't understand, I put up an ad on one of the internet dating sites back in June of last year and soon enough was involved with a woman again. A single mother, who I had to get rid of after a month when she started causing problems. She is still sending me naked pictures of herself every so often but she burned the bridges so thoroughly with her childishness that I refuse to even consider getting back with her. This experience caused me to get a vasectomy. I've never wanted children and have always been worried about accidental pregnancy, and I certainly don't want a child with a woman like this single mother. After that I tried paid sex, with a woman I met through seekingarrangements.com, but I discovered P4P is boring. I need the woman's desire to fuel my desire. Otherwise, I'd rather masturbate. Then I went back to the regular dating sites, but soon became disgusted with them. My plan now is to visit Ukraine. Not sure what I'm going to be doing there. Probably just sit in the park a lot and listen to my language tapes and maybe strike up conversations now and then to practice Russian. Because I'm retired, I'm always in need of ways to occupy my time. Going on a p***y hunting expedition to Ukraine sounds interesting. Even if I don't catch any pussies, I'll still enjoy the traveling. Similar to you and your trips. My need for a woman in my life is very low, again similar to you, but I'm a little more outgoing than you. Masturbation is 99% of the pleasure of real sex, but I'm not averse to going for 100% by getting a real woman, as long as it doesn't require too much effort on my part.]

I continue to recommend partner dancing, assuming there is a dance scene where you live. Not only will dancing get you very close to women and make it easy to get them into bed, it will also teach you a lot about proper sex roles. Namely, man leads, woman follows. Man does most of the work and does so willingly, because men get spiritual pleasure from mastering skills. Whereas women get most of the physical pleasure from dancing, which matches their tendency to want to be passive recipients of someone's attentions. The man, effectively, is the tool for the woman's pleasure. Men's nature is to want to be living tools: hardened, energetic, spiritualized. Women's nature is to be the inert lump of material clay upon which these tools operate. (Spirit = mind, matter = body). In ordinary life, everyone is a blend of male and female energies, but during sex and dancing, there is a tendency towards polarization into the roles just described.
globe-trotter
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Post by globe-trotter »

lasttry wrote:For people who can masturbate, and you confess to being a compulsive masturbator since your teens, and for whom none of the first 6 motives applies, validation is the primary reason for wanting sex, and that seems to be the case for you.
Yes, validation and also to experience physical and emotional sensations of intimacy that I crave.
newlifeinphilippines
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Post by newlifeinphilippines »

Just marry a girl with no sex drive. And believe me most of the philippines the girls are like that. Problem solved.
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MarcosZeitola
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Post by MarcosZeitola »

newlifeinphilippines wrote:Just marry a girl with no sex drive. And believe me most of the philippines the girls are like that. Problem solved.
No they aren't. They are just that way with you because you are obese and physically unattractive.

A lot of Filipinas, from what I can tell, are just as horny and lustful as your average Western girl, if not more. It just depends on the girl, they are all different. Plenty of little nympho's around, and some of the young ones don't even realize it yet. They just need a man to awaken their inner goddess.
On "Faux-Tradionalists" and why they're heading nowhere: viewtopic.php?style=1&f=37&t=29144
globe-trotter
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Post by globe-trotter »

MarcosZeitola wrote:you can lead a horse to the water, but you cannot make him drink. It's time we let horsy be, and make his own mistakes. It's not my life, or yours, but his and his alone. The consequences of his actions are also fully his. Nothing we can do about it. Just wish he wouldn't have used such a misleading title... :(
This is a faulty analogy, I'm afraid.
A more accurate analogy would be: I was a horse that was led to water, with the promise that I would easily be able to drink it. What they didn't tell me, however, was that once I reach the water, I would have to climb over a very steep fence in order to drink. Nothing wrong with doing a little work in order to get your reward, but it can be a problem when my legs are crippled (I suffer from anxiety disorders and can't 'game' women). Had I known this from the start, I might have declined the offer to be 'led to water'.
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MarcosZeitola
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Post by MarcosZeitola »

globe-trotter wrote:
MarcosZeitola wrote:you can lead a horse to the water, but you cannot make him drink. It's time we let horsy be, and make his own mistakes. It's not my life, or yours, but his and his alone. The consequences of his actions are also fully his. Nothing we can do about it. Just wish he wouldn't have used such a misleading title... :(
This is a faulty analogy, I'm afraid.
A more accurate analogy would be: I was a horse that was led to water, with the promise that I would easily be able to drink it. What they didn't tell me, however, was that once I reach the water, I would have to climb over a very steep fence in order to drink. Nothing wrong with doing a little work in order to get your reward, but it can be a problem when my legs are crippled (I suffer from anxiety disorders and can't 'game' women). Had I known this from the start, I might have declined the offer to be 'led to water'.
Once again, bullshit. A better analogy:

You were a horse that was led to water, but refused to lower his f***ing head because he thought the water would magically float up and squirt into his mouth. It didn't, because that's not how the river works. The horse then returned home, thirsty, and told everybody it was a shitty river. He even wrote a book about how the river was shitty, but never mentioned his refusal to lower his head.

The horse is clearly an evolutionary failure and should get a Darwin Award for his stupidity.
On "Faux-Tradionalists" and why they're heading nowhere: viewtopic.php?style=1&f=37&t=29144
newlifeinphilippines
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Post by newlifeinphilippines »

MarcosZeitola wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:Just marry a girl with no sex drive. And believe me most of the philippines the girls are like that. Problem solved.
No they aren't. They are just that way with you because you are obese and physically unattractive.

A lot of Filipinas, from what I can tell, are just as horny and lustful as your average Western girl, if not more. It just depends on the girl, they are all different. Plenty of little nympho's around, and some of the young ones don't even realize it yet. They just need a man to awaken their inner goddess.

LOL im not obese. Most guys have confirmed filipinas are boring lays. Only the guys who have shacked up and married the FIRST girl they fell in love with "My girl is differen't syndrome" say otherwise. Mr. s, Winston, mrbluelight, and many others have confirmed what i say. I have layed more filipinas than you have (you only have your wife so of course she is eager to please) and i can tell you only one girl was lustful and she was a bargirl who admitted she wasn't like this with her previous boyfriends (cause i was the one who came up with the idea to have sex so much). but she did get into it quite well though multiple times a day so its hard to say how much was an act. And when i first met her she acted crazy about the sex.
newlifeinphilippines
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Post by newlifeinphilippines »

So the river doesn't squirt. Its the rivers fault for not doing what he wants, regardless of how its supposed to work. :D

Would most guys really go to the philippines if they knew they had to spend months and years digging through crap and daygame to find a good quality women? I think a lot would think twice or prolong it until they had the money and time that they had nothing else to lose at that time. Thats what im doing now that reality has hit me im in no hurry to go back to asia. I dont want to waste my precious dollars on a pipe dream.
Last edited by newlifeinphilippines on February 7th, 2015, 1:47 pm, edited 2 times in total.
lasttry
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Post by lasttry »

MarcosZeitola wrote: A lot of Filipinas, from what I can tell, are just as horny and lustful as your average Western girl, if not more. It just depends on the girl, they are all different. Plenty of little nympho's around, and some of the young ones don't even realize it yet. They just need a man to awaken their inner goddess.
Is this based on personal experience in LTR's with multiple girls? Lots of girls talk high and mighty about what sluts they are and how much they love sex. They are often quite different once you actually get into an LTR with them. Doesn't matter how good the man is in bed. Cutting off the sex supply seems to come naturally to most women. I've met exceptions myself, but they are few and far between.
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Post by newlifeinphilippines »

lasttry wrote:
MarcosZeitola wrote: A lot of Filipinas, from what I can tell, are just as horny and lustful as your average Western girl, if not more. It just depends on the girl, they are all different. Plenty of little nympho's around, and some of the young ones don't even realize it yet. They just need a man to awaken their inner goddess.
Is this based on personal experience in LTR's with multiple girls? Lots of girls talk high and mighty about what sluts they are and how much they love sex. They are often quite different once you actually get into an LTR with them. Doesn't matter how good the man is in bed. Cutting off the sex supply seems to come naturally to most women. I've met exceptions myself, but they are few and far between.
he married the first filipina girl he met. Its classical where those guys think all the girls are like that. Taco and outwest and davewe think the same. The guys who actually dont fall in love the first night know better. I assure you filipinas are anything but sexual. Thats a bigger myth than what the OP is talking about.
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

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newlifeinphilippines wrote:he married the first filipina girl he met. Its classical where those guys think all the girls are like that. Taco and outwest and davewe think the same. The guys who actually dont fall in love the first night know better. I assure you filipinas are anything but sexual. Thats a bigger myth than what the OP is talking about.
I never set she was the first Filipina I ever met, you just made that up. And I did not fall in love the first night; I was in love with her before I slept with her. That's how I know it's the real thing.

Filipina's are anything but sexual with you because you aren't attractive to them. That's why you had to pay for it. As for Filipina's nature... I have a lot of Filipino friends, friends who tell stories, who share details about their lives. From what I gather, your average Filipino teen is as horny as your average Western teen, girls and boys both. Same with young twenty-somethings. And even older people are quite promiscuous; I have been out in public with my family & friends and several times in a restaurant met a woman they knew dining with a man other then their husband, and was later told the two carried on an affair. Lots of affairs at work, too. They're not cold fish or without passionate, but if you yourself inspire no passion in a woman she will be a dead fish to you.
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Post by newlifeinphilippines »

MarcosZeitola wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:he married the first filipina girl he met. Its classical where those guys think all the girls are like that. Taco and outwest and davewe think the same. The guys who actually dont fall in love the first night know better. I assure you filipinas are anything but sexual. Thats a bigger myth than what the OP is talking about.
I never set she was the first Filipina I ever met, you just made that up. And I did not fall in love the first night; I was in love with her before I slept with her. That's how I know it's the real thing.

Filipina's are anything but sexual with you because you aren't attractive to them. That's why you had to pay for it. As for Filipina's nature... I have a lot of Filipino friends, friends who tell stories, who share details about their lives. From what I gather, your average Filipino teen is as horny as your average Western teen, girls and boys both. Same with young twenty-somethings. And even older people are quite promiscuous; I have been out in public with my family & friends and several times in a restaurant met a woman they knew dining with a man other then their husband, and was later told the two carried on an affair. Lots of affairs at work, too. They're not cold fish or without passionate, but if you yourself inspire no passion in a woman she will be a dead fish to you.

you can argue all you want but its not based on your experience just fantasy like all the other posters who married the first girl they met (or almost the first girl like outwest, davewe, a few others). Talk to any guy who has been in philippines for awhile and did more than platanoically imagine a girl from a distance they all confirm what I said. My gf even said the hot girl she was living with was picky and didn't even like porn (although she was hot for some german guy but she had some loser boyfriend before and in general wasn't always in a relationship).
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MarcosZeitola
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

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newlifeinphilippines wrote:you can argue all you want but its not based on your experience just fantasy like all the other posters who married the first girl they met (or almost the first girl like outwest, davewe, a few others). Talk to any guy who has been in philippines for awhile and they all confirm what I said. My gf even said the hot girl she was living with was picky and didn't even like p**n (although she was hot for some german guy but she had some loser boyfriend before and in general wasn't always in a relationship).
Funny that you keep mentioning OutWest, when in fact OutWest is currently together with his SECOND Filipina wife after having been with another one for quite some time before. Surely that means he has a little more know-how of Filipinas then, say, someone who slept primarily with hoes and cheap sluts for money? ;)

As for my experience, you know only what I shared. Unlike you, some people actually keep parts of their life stories to themselves because there are actually people in this world with a filter and a sense of decency. A gentleman never tells. Not everyone who has some degree of sexual success makes huge threads about it like BlueLight, or mention it in every post like PAG.
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Re: The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

Post by newlifeinphilippines »

MarcosZeitola wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:you can argue all you want but its not based on your experience just fantasy like all the other posters who married the first girl they met (or almost the first girl like outwest, davewe, a few others). Talk to any guy who has been in philippines for awhile and they all confirm what I said. My gf even said the hot girl she was living with was picky and didn't even like p**n (although she was hot for some german guy but she had some loser boyfriend before and in general wasn't always in a relationship).
Funny that you keep mentioning OutWest, when in fact OutWest is currently together with his SECOND Filipina wife after having been with another one for quite some time before. Surely that means he has a little more know-how of Filipinas then, say, someone who slept primarily with hoes and cheap sluts for money? ;)

As for my experience, you know only what I shared. Unlike you, some people actually keep parts of their life stories to themselves because there are actually people in this world with a filter and a sense of decency. A gentleman never tells.
Winston, me, Mr. S, Mr bluelight, Will n Dowd, combined have about a magnitude of 1000 to you and a few select posters. We all overwhelming contradict. Ill beleive them since they have a higher statistical sample space.

I picked him out cause thats only 2 women. hardly a significant number. Besides they divorced so i bet cutting off the set was part of the equation (im sure he will deny cause he has a huge ego)

Oh I know i never tell all either usually but its anonymous here so im more liberal in that regard.
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