Winston wrote:Banano wrote:Lowering your standards would be logical step to do, target women 30-45 age range.
What you are reporting reminds me of women in anglosphere, they are super easy for the guys they find hot but around guys they dont see as hot or cool they act like good girls
Seems like chinese women see you as a potential beta provider, not a guy they wanna have fling with and since You are in your 40s things are not going to get easier
I've been seeing a 33 year old here. She gave me the spiel about wanting to have sex after marriage and how her mom taught her not to be easy and how if we have sex fast then I will lose interest in her fast and she is aiming for long term relationship. Etc. Excuses Excuses. So you see even women in their 30s make excuses not to have sex.
Some guys are good at getting dates and make women feel comfortable. But when it comes to sex, women draw the line. I dont know why. It's like there's an assumption that I don't need sex or that sex is not necessary or improper. Why is God so cruel?
Unfortunately for you, women are not physically attracted to you like your friend ethan_sg. If the two of you are together, I think with ethan_sg, it might be "lust at first sight" whereas with you Winston, it's more like "lost at first sight". First impressions can make or break sexual attractiveness. Do you remember Abbott and Costello? If a woman saw the two of you together, would women assume that you're Costello while ethan_sg is more like Abbott? Yes I know, most people don't know who Abbott and Costello are. I'm just using them as a physical comparison
The reality is that you're 40+, out of shape and you don't make women salivate or lust after you. Many people have given you great suggestions on how to improve yourself so that you can become more attractive physically to women. But I don't know that you're willing to put in the work necessary to upgrade yourself.
In the meantime, there are still things that you can change that might help. If women see you as a sugar daddy, then leverage that and project an image of money and power. Lots of men in China get beautiful women simply because they have money or powerful government/business connections. Change how you dress, wear more stylish and expensive clothes/shoes. If you're hanging around with ethan_sg or someone else who might look better physically than yourself, tell women that he works for you and is your personal assistant (make sure that's ok with your friends first and that they're willing to play along).
Don't be a cheapskate when it comes to spending. On the first few dates, spend more money and eat at upscale restaurants where a more formal dress code is fitting and expected. You need to be constantly reinforcing this image that you have money and power. And a woman would be lucky to be with you! Again, I don't know that you can do this because it goes against your parsimonious nature.
For God's sake, don't talk about your conspiracy theories!!! Not many women are interested in that and talking about it makes you sound like a nut case. Talk about her and things she's interested in. Talk about your travels around the world and make her mentally project herself with you on these journeys. Women in China want a man who is financially secure, stable and has a long term vision for himself and his family. If a woman doesn't lust for you physically, then she won't have sex with you unless you make it clear that it's a necessary step towards sealing the deal with you as part of a long-term commitment. If a women gives you excuses about not having sex with you after you've made many investments in time and money with her, then dump her!!!
And tell her why you're dumping her. You need to be the alpha here and make it clear who's the boss.
It sounds like you're still in Shenzhen and it's not a terrible place to be if you think of it as a base of operations for China. I agree with others who have recommended that you explore other parts of China. Flights to other parts of China are much cheaper from Shenzhen. People from Hong Kong cross over the border just so that they can take a cheaper flight out of Shenzhen to other parts of China like Beijing, Shanghai, Hainan, etc. For now, use Shenzhen as a base until you find a city in China that you're comfortable in. Take 1-2 week trips to other cities so that you can get a feel for the environment and women there. Once you find a place that you like, stay there for an extended period of time so that you can seriously work on your goal of finding a wife.
But if you're planning to be in China for an extended period of time, then maybe you should rent an apartment instead of living out of hotels. Living out of hotels makes you seem transitory, unstable and not interested in being in China long-term. Renting an apartment is a commitment that women will appreciate and they will believe you more if you say that you're seriously looking for a wife.
If you want sex like in a normal relationship, then you need to accept the reality of who you are now. But you need to show women that you have qualities other than physically attractiveness that a woman would want and lust for. You need to be constantly projecting that image of money and power, which requires time and money on your part. If a woman doesn't want to have sex with you after you make an investment in her, dump her quickly and let her know exactly why. Make it clear that there are plenty of other fish in the ocean and you don't have time to waste on women like her. If you physically need sex, then P4P is your best bet while you search for a woman who will give you sex as part of the normal courtship process.
Stop blaming God or Murphy's Law or whatever, if things go wrong. Shit happens in life! Deal with it like a real man! Instead of whining and complaining about every little thing that goes wrong in your life, change your attitude and just take things in stride with confidence. Make it clear that even when things go bad for you, it's not a big deal because you're mature and smart enough to deal with it. Women like that quality in a man and they want to be with a man who can make them feel safe and secure and can calmly deal with the problems that always come up in life.
