Smallcheese,smallcheese wrote:Rock wrote: But...I think there is something in your spending behavior which might put off certain girls. In the early dating phase, you might not wanna do anything that suggests being overly frugal cus it can be perceived as being stingy. If you spend to much time deciding on little things like which dish to eat or comparing prices of things to save a 10 or 20 RMB, the girls might think to themselves, wow, even I don't have to worry about that kind of small money so what's his problem. It's good to be decisive and if you hesitate and think too much when you order food or buy things at a shop, it can be irritating. I remember the Taichung girl I introduced you too but ended up ditching you told me that she felt you were very xiao qi (stingy) and too hesitant. She told me she would feel a lot more comfortable around a guy who is "at-sa-li" (a Japanese borrow word used in Taiwan which roughly translates to straightforward and easy to deal with). On the other hand, you tend to "zuan niu jiao jian" which means to waste time on an insoluble or insignificant problems. If you hesitate, move slowly, scratch your head, and argue over small issues in restaurants, or spend lots of time comparing to save a bit of money, that can really give a bad impression. When a Chinese guy gives a gift to a girl, I think he generally just gives it. He doesn't offer it as some kind of bargaining tool to get what he wants from her. Being a bit generous in the very beginning is a show of good faith. Once you guys start dating more regularly, you can explain your philosophy about saving money and being frugal. But it doesn't hurt on the first date or two to just move fast, lead, and not worry too much about how much things cost as long as you're not going to uber expensive places.
Perhaps you are not acting in the way I describe above. I just suspect that you might be cus I've seen you get in that mode before. So consider it. Also, if you're gonna spend more time in Shenzhen, perhaps you can make some more open minded male Chinese friends around your age who can act as a cultural translator to you and perhaps provide more accurate and useful information and advice.This is a perfect example of why you will always fail Winston.Winston wrote:But Rock, that example doesn't apply. I took that girl to a mall in Taichung called Chung Yo. All the jacket choices there sucked and I didn't like the styles. So I didn't buy anything, otherwise I'd just return it or regret it later. So I was unlucky to be in a mall with shitty choices. Somehow she used that against me, even though frugality wasn't the issue there. Another thing she held against me was when I was about to buy a $100 electronic dictionary, and I changed my mind later because my gut feeling told me it would be a waste of money. I decided it was better not to buy it than to buy it and regret it later. I don't know why she held that against me. It didn't make sense.
Around China women I take them to nice fancy restaurants with nice ambience and I gladly pay for dinner. How do I need to be more generous than that? Rock, you pay for dinner on dates too. Same as me. So how are you more generous than me? You don't buy expensive gifts on the first date either. So how are you any more generous than me? I pay for all the stuff I'm supposed to pay for, so how am I lacking generosity? I don't get it.
Ethan told me that a decent Chinese woman will help pay for stuff such as transportation, and help share the cost of entertainment. They won't usually let you pay 100 percent for everything like Filipinas do. A man shouldn't pay for 100 percent of everything.
Rock is a person who knows you and you consider a friend. He tells you exactly why a Taiwanese woman dumped you. Instead of graciously accepting his advice based on his personal observations of you, you counter with arguments on why the Taiwanese woman was wrong!
Rock knows you better than most people on this forum and he has personally seen you in action. So he tells you that the little things that you do that might be turning women off. You give off a vibe that you're cheap and stingy and most women aren't interested in cheapskates. What are you arguing about? The woman dumped you already. And she told Rock exactly why she ditched you. Why do you have this compulsion to always be right and never admit when you might be wrong? Why can't you just shut up, be humble and contemplate thoughtful advice from a real friend?
Some people on this forum have said that you should go to Thailand or back to the Philippines and spend your money on P4P instead of looking for a Chinese wife. That might be the best advice you'll ever get on this forum.
Are you on Crack or something? You'd take the word and opinion of a gold digging bitch over mine? Over a man who is highly credible and a master of logic? Are you a moron?!
Dude, did you read what I wrote? I gave logical reasons why she was wrong about me. Did you even consider them? Or are you overly eager to bash me that you don't even care if I'm right? If so that's f***ed.
What do you expect me to do? Buy a jacket I don't want and buy that 100 dollar electronic dictionary just to impress her? Is that what you suggest? Answer!
What about that 35 year old homely woman I met on okcupid who wanted me to buy her a pair of 50 dollar shoes on the first date that I mentioned earlier? Are you saying I should have generously bought it even though I wasn't even attracted to her? Answer!
So how am I wrong then?
Furthermore that woman rock referred to is not even a credible source. She lied and told me it was her birthday just to test my generosity with gifts. And she ditched me at my hotel and left and never came back as she promised.
Is that the kind of woman you consider to be a credible source about my stinginess?! One that lies about her birthday and ditches me later? See how stupid you look now? You f***ed up this time and the other guys can see it this time.
Next time listen to what a normal decent woman says about me. Not the kind that expects expensive gifts on the first date to test me. You should pick your sources more wisely. Not listen to that of a gold digging bitch who lies and flakes.
I'm a victim. You know sometimes a victim is not at fault but is truly a victim. Consider that real victims do exist.
Be more humble smallcheese and admit your mistakes. A know it all attitude is a turn off.