Emotionless life in the USA - From Chinese girl

[redbunny311]

I am from China and have been in the US for 8 years, I came here because i heard about US is the most free country in the world. The mainstream media here always shows China as some place has no freedom of speech and everything is so restrict, such as internet, because government install the filter for certain website. But I have to say when I was in China, I do experience happiness and sadness all the time, but I never feel lost or depressed. Even though I'm shy and quiet when I was a teenager, I feel completely okay to be myself. I have friends, parents who I can connect with.
I used to think Americans live the best life in the world, because they seems always happy and positive. But I find behind the fake smile, there is nothing, there is no true connections. They put their mask on when they pretend to have a relationship with you, but actually not interested in what you are sharing at all. It seems like there is no deep feeling inside them, they are always happy, they want to be more happy, but not real.
The real human experience is not all happiness, but this culture makes you feel that, if you are sad, there must be something wrong with you. Because everybody else is living a perfect life, look at their smiles. And it makes you feel that you have to change yourself to not to feel negative feeling anymore. No wonder people get depressed, the main reason is that you've been wearing the mask for so long that you lose touch with who you really are. But this society want you to be like that, "coolness" is overrated here. People want to be cool. I want to say "I don't care" attitude is not cool at all. How can you live in such isolated culture without feeling the deep sadness inside you? People are friendly but not your friend. They don't concern others' feeling but tell you the rules you have to follow, or there will be consequence. Do they really follow the rule? Look at the teenagers, many of them don't have basic respect to their parents and teachers, which is never a case in Asian culture.
Come on, we are all human being, US culture alienate people, and numb their emotions, so they lose their compassion for others. It is very sad to see it.

[Banano]

Is this Winston creating fake accounts??

[zboy1]

I am from China and have been in the US for 8 years, I came here because i heard about US is the most free country in the world. The mainstream media here always shows China as some place has no freedom of speech and everything is so restrict, such as internet, because government install the filter for certain website. But I have to say when I was in China, I do experience happiness and sadness all the time, but I never feel lost or depressed. Even though I'm shy and quiet when I was a teenager, I feel completely okay to be myself. I have friends, parents who I can connect with.
I used to think Americans live the best life in the world, because they seems always happy and positive. But I find behind the fake smile, there is nothing, there is no true connections. They put their mask on when they pretend to have a relationship with you, but actually not interested in what you are sharing at all. It seems like there is no deep feeling inside them, they are always happy, they want to be more happy, but not real.
The real human experience is not all happiness, but this culture makes you feel that, if you are sad, there must be something wrong with you. Because everybody else is living a perfect life, look at their smiles. And it makes you feel that you have to change yourself to not to feel negative feeling anymore. No wonder people get depressed, the main reason is that you've been wearing the mask for so long that you lose touch with who you really are. But this society want you to be like that, "coolness" is overrated here. People want to be cool. I want to say "I don't care" attitude is not cool at all. How can you live in such isolated culture without feeling the deep sadness inside you? People are friendly but not your friend. They don't concern others' feeling but tell you the rules you have to follow, or there will be consequence. Do they really follow the rule? Look at the teenagers, many of them don't have basic respect to their parents and teachers, which is never a case in Asian culture.
Come on, we are all human being, US culture alienate people, and numb their emotions, so they lose their compassion for others. It is very sad to see it.

If more Chinese and other Asians living in Asia could see what you wrote, then they wouldn't be so disappointed when they move to the States and realize the "American Dream" is a complete farce.

[Yohan]

Is this Winston creating fake accounts??

I was thinking the same, but who knows? We will know more if this user is coming back and posting more about himself (or herself?)

It's more about that different countries have different problems, it is true that USA is not a good place for dating and not suitable for a good family life. USA is a country of single moms, broken families and children without fathers. USA is also known for its high prison population, overpriced medical services, its legal system is chaotic, USA is also suffering of racist issues.

To be fair let me say, that China has also its problems, a lot of problems...

[redbunny311]

No, I'm not Winston. I am a Chinese girl. I live in the CA, and I feel here people are brainwashed to think positively, which seems very fake for me. American dream is very attractive for me in the beginning, but i see people live a quiet boring life after achieving those things

[Ghost]

.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

The US culture includes a lot of self-deluding axioms like optimism at all costs, consume your way to happiness, American exceptionalism, and we represent the moral and social example for the world.

Other countries are quick to point out things like the Baltimore riots when the USA gets to pontificating about human rights and rule of law.

To be clear, the USA is a failing experiment that the rest of the world has caught onto. However, foreigners still want to come here to avail themselves of the money making opportunities in the US, not the American culture.

[fschmidt]

No, I'm not Winston. I am a Chinese girl. I live in the CA, and I feel here people are brainwashed to think positively, which seems very fake for me. American dream is very attractive for me in the beginning, but i see people live a quiet boring life after achieving those things

So why don't you go back to China?

[jamesbond]

Is this Winston creating fake accounts??

That is exactly what I was thinking. Remember the member lovelybunny? Everyone of his posts sounded just like Winston (lovelybunny even had posts on conspiracy theories).

Come on Winston, we know it's you!

[Jsport]

I know what you mean when you say that people have to be or at least seem happy all the time in the US. I personally can't stand the American extrovert mentality that forces people to be positive and entertaining even if their not in the mood. I have always been to true to my emotions and in America it seems that staying true to your feelings is one of the hardest things to do. As an American male, i don't hate nor disike this country, i respect this country and the people in many ways, but what i cant stand about this country is the lack of social and dating life. I believe that if the social and dating scene was straightened out in this country than the US could truly be the best country to live in.

[The]

No, I'm not Winston. I am a Chinese girl. I live in the CA, and I feel here people are brainwashed to think positively, which seems very fake for me. American dream is very attractive for me in the beginning, but i see people live a quiet boring life after achieving those things

Welcome aboard....Please troll away at our forums....

[redbunny311]

Thanks for all the replies. I thought it is just me because I am a foreigner. The experience of living in a city is quite frustrating for me, I don't know how Americans find social group to join, but it was hard for me to have a deep connected relationship with people, sometime I think I am just too attached to people, because people here are so independent, they may not want to do things together. But when I'm with my Asian friends, not just Chinese, we find closer bonding with each other.

[Winston]

Redbunny,
Are you a Chinese girl? Some women in China didn't believe me when I told them the above about the USA and claimed that China was the same. Now I can show them your post so that they will see that a mainland Chinese girl feels the same way. Thanks.

How did you find this site by the way?

You are actually living in the fakest place in America. Even Americans in other states see California as super fake. But Chinese are drawn to California for some reason.

Also check out these letters sent to me by other disappointed immigrants in America. Maybe I will add yours too.

http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page32.htm

[Winston]

Is this Winston creating fake accounts??

That is exactly what I was thinking. Remember the member lovelybunny? Everyone of his posts sounded just like Winston (lovelybunny even had posts on conspiracy theories).

Come on Winston, we know it's you!

Jamesbond, don't be silly. You are a moderator here. You can check redbunnys ip and you will see that she's in California.

Anyone that knows me will tell you that deception is not in my nature. So there's no reason to suspect that I would impersonate others or pretend to be a girl. I'm not that kind of person. Don't you know? Can't you tell? Duh.

If I were a deceiver, I'd be bragging about all the women I'm banging and how every girl I date wants to sleep with me, etc. Do I do that? Lol. Duh.

[Wolfeye]

That all rings true. I would also say that they have an issue with prowess, in general. Maybe that's part of why there's no connectedness here- a general culture of people trying to vitiate each other. There's a general culture of trying to "bring someone up on charges," as both a figure of speech & a literal thing.