I dont think your a good fit for this site if you cant take a little criticism...Typical mellenial....You give a slight critique and the name calling ensues....Your better off going elsewhere...GoingAwol wrote:I thought the men on this site were in aggreance that America and the dating scene here is messed up? I sound like an insecure child for telling it like it is? I'm not even going to respond to you anymore. It's obvious that you are a troll.
Tired of the dating scene in the US
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Re: Tired of the dating scene in the US
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Re: Tired of the dating scene in the US
Well,
Here's a concept.... How about asking me about myself instead of assuming you know me when you don't? I have come across your kind elsewhere on the net and I know that you are a mangina. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck its probably a duck.
Here's a concept.... How about asking me about myself instead of assuming you know me when you don't? I have come across your kind elsewhere on the net and I know that you are a mangina. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck its probably a duck.
Re: Tired of the dating scene in the US
"The" you've already been warned about ad hominem attacks on others without provocation or justification. Other members hae complained about you targeting them. You are doing it again. You will receive another warning.
OP,
I fully agree. In America, you can be very friendly, outgoing and talkative, yet have no friends, because being friendly isn't enough to make friends. The axiom "To have a friend, you must be a friend" doesn't apply in America, it only applies in saner healthier societies. You gotta be "cool" and be on the same fake wavelength that others are. If you are authentic and down to earth, you will be seen as weird, because the insane see the sane as insane.
You gotta join a clique in America, because social life in America is all about cliques, not about being open and sociable and down to earth. Also, people don't like others and have a negative view of others, so they don't make friends easily. The attitude is that "every stranger is a creep". And the mentality is "mind your own business and we will mind ours".
OP,
I fully agree. In America, you can be very friendly, outgoing and talkative, yet have no friends, because being friendly isn't enough to make friends. The axiom "To have a friend, you must be a friend" doesn't apply in America, it only applies in saner healthier societies. You gotta be "cool" and be on the same fake wavelength that others are. If you are authentic and down to earth, you will be seen as weird, because the insane see the sane as insane.
You gotta join a clique in America, because social life in America is all about cliques, not about being open and sociable and down to earth. Also, people don't like others and have a negative view of others, so they don't make friends easily. The attitude is that "every stranger is a creep". And the mentality is "mind your own business and we will mind ours".
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Re: Tired of the dating scene in the US
Winston,
Very true. In a way I'm grateful for posters like "The" because they show everything that is wrong with American culture. It's taboo to speak out about the way things are for men in America. If you say anything you are met with shaming like I got from some of the posters here. If you are a man and have been left out in the cold its your fault and you are just supposed to suffer in silence. Sadly alot of guys do just that and never find happiness.
Very true. In a way I'm grateful for posters like "The" because they show everything that is wrong with American culture. It's taboo to speak out about the way things are for men in America. If you say anything you are met with shaming like I got from some of the posters here. If you are a man and have been left out in the cold its your fault and you are just supposed to suffer in silence. Sadly alot of guys do just that and never find happiness.
Re: Tired of the dating scene in the US
Actually, wait a minute. I just checked "The"s warning record in the moderator control panel. He's actually received too many warnings already, and was even temporarily banned last year for ignoring three warnings. So this will constitute a final violation and he will now be BANNED.
I think it's for the best anyway, since I checked his posts and they are mostly mean crass one-liners with no value. And besides, his username is confusing and it's hard to refer to him without putting his name in quotation marks. What a lame username.
I think it's for the best anyway, since I checked his posts and they are mostly mean crass one-liners with no value. And besides, his username is confusing and it's hard to refer to him without putting his name in quotation marks. What a lame username.
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and SE Asia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Re: Tired of the dating scene in the US
OP,
Some more insights:
I think the problem goes deeper than just about people being friendly vs. unfriendly. The problem with us HA types is multi-faceted. Allow me to elaborate.
1. We are introverts. Introverts don't fit well into groups and cliques, which is unfortunate because in America, cliques are EVERYTHING in social culture. If you aren't in one, you don't have a social life, because social life is all about cliques. Extroverts are better at fitting into cliques because they seek their identity in groups and have no identity without them.
2. We aren't politically correct and we hold unpopular views and beliefs. To join a clique, you have to say and do things that are POPULAR of course, not unpopular. Otherwise, people will be turned off and cliques will reject us. Getting along in groups requires political correctness, positivity, and superficial lighthearted conversations. But we are too focused on negative truths for that.
3. We are nonconformists, freethinkers and contrarians. Thus we are inclined toward being different from the mainstream and we cherish freedom of thought and expression. This makes it harder for us to fit into groups, because groups are composed of conformists. For a nonconformist to try to fit in a group is sort of an oxymoron.
4. We aren't cool and we are not trying to be cool. To us, being real and honest and being able to express ourselves freely is more important. So we shun trying to "act cool" because it seems so fake. We care more about freedom of mind and expression than in what others think of us. We care more about truth than image. That makes us look strange and abnormal to most people.
5. As a result of how much we've suffered in America, we've become very negative, jaded and resentful. We've had so much loneliness, alienation and psychological persecution in America. It turns us into negative people, which repels most people. Mainstream people work hard to stay positive and optimistic. They have to constantly infuse their minds with positive thoughts and affirmations in order to cope with life. So to them, hearing our negative truths undermines their efforts to "stay positive".
All the above make it VERY HARD for us to fit into cliques, and without fitting into cliques, we have no social life. In America, to meet people, you have to be in a group to be trusted, because loners are creepy. So to make friends, you have to already have friends and be in a clique. Cliques can make friends with other cliques, because groups are everything in social culture, whereas individuals are nothing. So much for American individualism. lol
However, it is taboo to say that "people are unfriendly or antisocial or closed". You aren't allowed to say that. There is an unspoken rule that you have to say people are "friendly and wonderful" everywhere you go. If you are lonely or have no friends or social life, you are only allowed to say one of the following:
1. I am not a friendly or social person.
2. I am shy and afraid to go out and talk to people.
3. I enjoy being alone rather than with others.
4. I don't have time to meet people because I work too much.
5. I don't have opportunities to meet people because I don't get out much.
All the above involve blaming yourself, therefore they are politically correct statements. But saying that people are not open or friendly or sociable, or that there's no social connection, etc is taboo and goes against the grain. You are expected to assume that people are friendly and sociable everywhere, and that it's easy to meet people and make friends. That may not be true, but you are SUPPOSED to assume that. It's a default supposition, and you are not supposed to argue against it or say that's untrue. Is that weird or what?
So what do you think? Does all that make sense? Anyone have more to add to the above?
Some more insights:
I think the problem goes deeper than just about people being friendly vs. unfriendly. The problem with us HA types is multi-faceted. Allow me to elaborate.
1. We are introverts. Introverts don't fit well into groups and cliques, which is unfortunate because in America, cliques are EVERYTHING in social culture. If you aren't in one, you don't have a social life, because social life is all about cliques. Extroverts are better at fitting into cliques because they seek their identity in groups and have no identity without them.
2. We aren't politically correct and we hold unpopular views and beliefs. To join a clique, you have to say and do things that are POPULAR of course, not unpopular. Otherwise, people will be turned off and cliques will reject us. Getting along in groups requires political correctness, positivity, and superficial lighthearted conversations. But we are too focused on negative truths for that.
3. We are nonconformists, freethinkers and contrarians. Thus we are inclined toward being different from the mainstream and we cherish freedom of thought and expression. This makes it harder for us to fit into groups, because groups are composed of conformists. For a nonconformist to try to fit in a group is sort of an oxymoron.
4. We aren't cool and we are not trying to be cool. To us, being real and honest and being able to express ourselves freely is more important. So we shun trying to "act cool" because it seems so fake. We care more about freedom of mind and expression than in what others think of us. We care more about truth than image. That makes us look strange and abnormal to most people.
5. As a result of how much we've suffered in America, we've become very negative, jaded and resentful. We've had so much loneliness, alienation and psychological persecution in America. It turns us into negative people, which repels most people. Mainstream people work hard to stay positive and optimistic. They have to constantly infuse their minds with positive thoughts and affirmations in order to cope with life. So to them, hearing our negative truths undermines their efforts to "stay positive".
All the above make it VERY HARD for us to fit into cliques, and without fitting into cliques, we have no social life. In America, to meet people, you have to be in a group to be trusted, because loners are creepy. So to make friends, you have to already have friends and be in a clique. Cliques can make friends with other cliques, because groups are everything in social culture, whereas individuals are nothing. So much for American individualism. lol
However, it is taboo to say that "people are unfriendly or antisocial or closed". You aren't allowed to say that. There is an unspoken rule that you have to say people are "friendly and wonderful" everywhere you go. If you are lonely or have no friends or social life, you are only allowed to say one of the following:
1. I am not a friendly or social person.
2. I am shy and afraid to go out and talk to people.
3. I enjoy being alone rather than with others.
4. I don't have time to meet people because I work too much.
5. I don't have opportunities to meet people because I don't get out much.
All the above involve blaming yourself, therefore they are politically correct statements. But saying that people are not open or friendly or sociable, or that there's no social connection, etc is taboo and goes against the grain. You are expected to assume that people are friendly and sociable everywhere, and that it's easy to meet people and make friends. That may not be true, but you are SUPPOSED to assume that. It's a default supposition, and you are not supposed to argue against it or say that's untrue. Is that weird or what?
So what do you think? Does all that make sense? Anyone have more to add to the above?
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and SE Asia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Re: Tired of the dating scene in the US
Winston,
Yes it does make sense. I was diagnosed with aspergers and part of the description for aspergers is that we are nonconformists that speak our minds at all costs and see the world in a different way, among other things. I think that these things might be valued in a sane culture but are seen as a mental sickness in the U.S and other Western nations.
Yes it does make sense. I was diagnosed with aspergers and part of the description for aspergers is that we are nonconformists that speak our minds at all costs and see the world in a different way, among other things. I think that these things might be valued in a sane culture but are seen as a mental sickness in the U.S and other Western nations.
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starchild5
- Veteran Poster
- Posts: 2165
- Joined: December 20th, 2013, 2:32 am
Re: Tired of the dating scene in the US
Very true,,,..There is no aspergers, ADHD etc..They create diseases out of thin air.GoingAwol wrote:Winston,
Yes it does make sense. I was diagnosed with aspergers and part of the description for aspergers is that we are nonconformists that speak our minds at all costs and see the world in a different way, among other things. I think that these things might be valued in a sane culture but are seen as a mental sickness in the U.S and other Western nations.
Everything is reverse...Why do even doctors exists in this world is the question we should be asking...
Why are these people finding diagnosis on us while they should be fighting the real evil.
Also, FYI...I'm a third world born and bred guy and I'm the one who should get all the diseases as lame stream says due to dirty drinking water, pollution, unhealthy food etc and I see its the Americans who have a laundry list of illness starting with TOOTH PROBLEMS...
My point is ...There is a very heavy price to pay for being a "conformist" "mainstream" also....
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Contrarian Expatriate
- Elite Upper Class Poster
- Posts: 5415
- Joined: December 2nd, 2009, 9:57 pm
Re: tired of the dating scene in the u.s
Judging from your photo, the types of women you consort with are not of the quality most of us on this forum are interested in dating. While the girl you are with is not horribly ugly, she is unattractive by my measure. You would likely not have any success with the caliber of women we go for.JeyanCalderone wrote:I'm from Illinois too. I never had problems getting dates or girlfriends around Chicagoland area. I don't get why you guys are struggling with American women. AW are like pornstars in bed. How can you communicate with a Russian or Thai girl if you can't even speak her language? Do you guys have any social skills at all?
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Moretorque
- Elite Upper Class Poster
- Posts: 6275
- Joined: April 28th, 2013, 7:00 am
Re: tired of the dating scene in the u.s
Contrarian Expatriate wrote:Judging from your photo, the types of women you consort with are not of the quality most of us on this forum are interested in dating. While the girl you are with is not horribly ugly, she is unattractive by my measure. You would likely not have any success with the caliber of women we go for.JeyanCalderone wrote:I'm from Illinois too. I never had problems getting dates or girlfriends around Chicagoland area. I don't get why you guys are struggling with American women. AW are like pornstars in bed. How can you communicate with a Russian or Thai girl if you can't even speak her language? Do you guys have any social skills at all?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and she is pretty.
Time to Hide!
Re: Tired of the dating scene in the US
Hello and welcome to the forums.GoingAwol wrote:Hey guys!
I'm 24 and I was born,raised,and still live in the southern part of the u.s. The reason I'm here is because I'm sick and tired of the messed up dating scene here in the u.s. I have been ignored and treated like a cockroach by women/girls my entire life despite being a decent looking and nice guy. And it's not as if I haven't tried! I have tried very hard to meet a nice woman through every possible means and it hasn't amounted to anything. For the longest time I thought that I was the problem and something is wrong with me but I have come to realize that this problem is alot bigger than me. I have met tons of men in my day to day life that are single and struggle to meet women that are interested in them. Meanwhile.... The most unattractive women seem to be able to be extremely picky. To put it bluntly the dating scene in America is one-sided and the women have all the power. Just look at the internet. There's tons of American men making videos and blogs where they rant about how messed up the dating culture is for men. The worst part is these discussions only exist on the internet. If you try to talk about this stuff with people in real life they will deny it. So basically our culture is messed up and nobody wants to acknowledge it unless they are protected by the anonymity of the internet. This is why I will be leaving this country in the future to try my luck elsewhere. I will start school in August and plan to pursue a degree in Education. Upon graduation I plan to get a job teaching English as a foreign Language so I can get out of this country for awhile, see the world,and hopefully find love. Anyways, that's my story. I'm happy to be apart of this community.
The problem you described is exactly the same thing I went through. I've had 15 years on my shoulders of dating in America and I can say this as an ending result. The dating culture and scene in America sucks! I'm glad I found a Venezuelan woman who is still currently in Venezuela. You're doing the right thing by looking outside of the American border to find true love. I wouldn't waste your time in America anymore. As for those who disagree with you, they're either a bunch of shit head white knights, or manginas who will never get a clue and are still to this day as clueless as a bat out in broad daylight. Anyways, it's good to see another man who is awake and I wish you good luck on your journey.Re: Tired of the dating scene in the US
What I have noticed about the dating scene in the US is that even if a woman likes you, she would either resent you, insult you, or ignore you if you are not in the same social wavelength as her. This assumption is based on personal experience with woman who have liked me but did not follow up on their feelings because of the social differences we had.
Going abroad I believe is an effective solution but if you go for a long period of time like say 2 month or more and also depending on the country. I'm not saying there isn't a chance if you go for less than 2 months but it would be more difficult. But going abroad is still a great solution depending on the enthusiasm a person has for traveling.
Going abroad I believe is an effective solution but if you go for a long period of time like say 2 month or more and also depending on the country. I'm not saying there isn't a chance if you go for less than 2 months but it would be more difficult. But going abroad is still a great solution depending on the enthusiasm a person has for traveling.
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