Emotionless life in the USA - From Chinese girl

[The]

Redbunny,
Have you noticed these three major drawbacks in America? They are three big negatives in the USA that are taboo to talk about.

1. There is no authenticity in the people and culture. The fakeness is too extreme. There's too much phoniness and hype. You can't be yourself. You can't be genuine. If you don't act fake you will be told that you aren't cool or confident enough. If you are authentic and down to earth, you will be a misfit. Even in England and Germany, people are more genuine and down to earth, not as fake for sure. Only old people and senior citizens in the USA are down to earth and genuine. In addition, the extreme arrogance in the USA is unparalleled as well. People in the rest of the world, including Britain and Canada, act more modest in comparison.

2. There is no social connection with others. The environment is lonely and isolating. It's harder to make friends in USA than in other countries. Dating and social life don't come naturally or smoothly at all, like they do in most other countries. People don't talk to others unless it's business related. There is this constant depressing feeling in the USA that no one really cares about you. The social vibe feels closed, cliquish and negative. And people are uptight, tense and paranoid.

3. The women have the worst attitude and fakest personality in the world. It's difficult to even have a normal conversation with women there, let alone date them. The USA is the hardest place to find decent women to date. The way women act and their attitude is horrifying, cold and mean-spirited. They are so unfriendly and standoffish. It's worse than you can imagine. No joke. Their personalities are the fakest and most toxic too. Even the females in England are more down to earth and less arrogant.

In spite of all this, you are required to put on a fake smile everyday in the USA and say that you are "doing great" 24/7. Go figure.

Wholeheartedly agree! Could not have said it better myself...

[bicycledays]

I understand what you're going through.

A lot of people in the United States are fake, and pretend to be friendly, when they are not interested in being your friend.

In general, when it comes to relationships, Americans lack authenticity.

Social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram seem to create competition wherein people post only the best and "doctored" (filters) pictures of their lives, getting as many "likes" as they can in order to feel good about themselves. The result is jealousy and competition with others.

I have traveled abroad and I agree with you, that people in other countries value the important things (good relationships, good food, good experiences) and enjoy conversations that are philosophical and enriching. I went to Europe and, after returning, wrote the e-book "How to Travel Europe for $1.50 A Day or Less" ... http://www.HowtoTravelEuropeCheap.com

I have some suggestions for finding friends that are more authentic.

1) If you're going to stay in the United States, find a recreational pursuit or hobby that others enjoy, and meet people that way. The website http://www.meetup.com is good for this. Also, I use Facebook and type in search terms like "dance parties NYC" or "hiking groups", etc, then join groups and get invited to participate in activities that I enjoy, like dancing, hiking, etc. You can do this same technique with Google, by typing in "dance parties (your area or zip code here)", then joining a mailing list or group or meetup. This way, you'll be sharing an experience, meeting a group of people who enjoy doing that experience, and not relying on one person for your happiness.

2) If you're going to leave the United States, do the same as #1. Find something you like doing in the country that you are going to be traveling to, and join a group that does that activity.

Have fun!

Kris Kemp
http://www.kriskemp.com
http://www.therailsnyc.com

[redbunny311]

No, I'm not Winston. I am a Chinese girl. I live in the CA, and I feel here people are brainwashed to think positively, which seems very fake for me. American dream is very attractive for me in the beginning, but i see people live a quiet boring life after achieving those things

So why don't you go back to China?

I'm curious about this question too.

Yes, actually I just quit my job and plan to move back to China. I will visit different countries later.

[fschmidt]

Yes, actually I just quit my job and plan to move back to China. I will visit different countries later.

Good for you. The American people are the scum of the earth. You will do better elsewhere.

[redbunny311]

I met one of my old friend today. We knew each other 8 year ago when we first came to the US to study. Now she is doing good in an American company, she hasn't been speaking Chinese for a long time, live by herself and has devoted almost all her time working. I feel that what people consider as a successful life in the US is not what I want. It makes people very boring and driven by money.

[Wolfeye]

Your friend's life sounds like the general goal here: be at work. I wonder if it feeds an ego-craving? Like how someone figures they're morally better than someone for working a lot- but since people aren't really all that religious in America, I guess it's just the general sense of superiority? The people here seem to only be interested in having bills & paying them. Then they get all pissed-off when someone mentions, even in support of them, to take some time off (which they have on paper, but not in practice).

[redbunny311]

Well, it's me. I'm using an VPN to update my life in China.
I've been back to China since last year, and now I'm very happy that I made this decision.
I really enjoy my life in China now, mostly social life. I can feel people here really care about their relationship between each other.
People here don't discuss about how to become happy, instead they put their energy to treat people nicely and respectfully.

[jamesbond]

Well, it's me. I'm using an VPN to update my life in China.
I've been back to China since last year, and now I'm very happy that I made this decision.
I really enjoy my life in China now, mostly social life. I can feel people here really care about their relationship between each other.
People here don't discuss about how to become happy, instead they put their energy to treat people nicely and respectfully.

Hi Winston I see your using the screen name "redbunny311" you have also used a similar screen name "lovelybunny" in the past. It sounds like you having lot's of fun in China.