How to initiate dating with Chinese women?

[Winston]

Rock,
Here's another paradox I don't get. Every Taiwanese girl is super busy with school or work or both. They are conditioned to be productive all day everyday. And on their day off they often have other plans. Yet when you go out you see lots of Taiwanese girls with their boyfriends everywhere. How do those girls make time for their boyfriends? Is there a mass conspiracy against me?

[Falcon]

Falcon, I was wondering the same thing. Taiwanese and Chinese women seem like cold fish, very frigid and prudish. With zero passion, there is nothing to work with to warm things up or spark some energy. Trying to seduce a Taiwanese woman is like trying to reanimate a corpse. There's no logical way to do it.

...

So how the F are you supposed to get intimate with them?! It's a huge mystery to me with no logical solution.

Also they are very cold and closed and 100 practical as well, so they don't even truly believe in love and seem to have no feelings. Without passion, there's no way to build chemistry or get warmer. No logical or direct way that is. You can't really connect with an empty shell with no romantic soul or inner life. You know what I mean?

I'm wondering the exact same thing, Winston. Rock has been trying to coach me on that. One of his methods is called "building your pearl list." It involves talking to multiple potential dates and trying to get them not to friend-zone you.

But it's a piece of cake with Latina, Filipina, and even Indonesian women. It comes so naturally and they often initiate the interest or flirting first. Even if you're a dork, they just fall into your lap so easily without you actually having to really "do" anything.

Rural Chinese women are somewhat simpler than urban Chinese and Taiwanese women, and are more like Vietnamese women in that respect. The girls I've met in Guizhou and Yunnan give off cues easily. They're not tough nuts to crack like the Taiwanese and urban Chinese.

But I'm convinced that NE Asian women just have lower sex drives in general than SE Asian women, who tend to be much hornier. Rock totally agrees with me on that one, and he calls it "that horny Malay blood."

[newlifeinphilippines]

Yeah thats why im staying away from chinese and vietnamese women. The farther the south the better. I want a girl with some passion and zest for life.

[roteiro]

As for me, online dating is the best option for such a purpose. But if you want to date online, you should choose appropriate and reliable website e.g. Kovla and create a good profile with nice photos of you. And everything will be fine, I used such a method and it worked for me

[Taco]

Falcon, I was wondering the same thing. Taiwanese and Chinese women seem like cold fish, very frigid and prudish. With zero passion, there is nothing to work with to warm things up or spark some energy. Trying to seduce a Taiwanese woman is like trying to reanimate a corpse. There's no logical way to do it.

...

So how the F are you supposed to get intimate with them?! It's a huge mystery to me with no logical solution.

Also they are very cold and closed and 100 practical as well, so they don't even truly believe in love and seem to have no feelings. Without passion, there's no way to build chemistry or get warmer. No logical or direct way that is. You can't really connect with an empty shell with no romantic soul or inner life. You know what I mean?

But I'm convinced that NE Asian women just have lower sex drives in general than SE Asian women, who tend to be much hornier. Rock totally agrees with me on that one, and he calls it "that horny Malay blood."

NE Asian women have more wealth that's why they don't put out. Giving money to women is like giving porn to men after a while they lose interest in the opposite sex. A wealthy woman will see most men as inferior to herself, status(wealth) is what makes men sexy.

[newlifeinphilippines]

Falcon, I was wondering the same thing. Taiwanese and Chinese women seem like cold fish, very frigid and prudish. With zero passion, there is nothing to work with to warm things up or spark some energy. Trying to seduce a Taiwanese woman is like trying to reanimate a corpse. There's no logical way to do it.

...

So how the F are you supposed to get intimate with them?! It's a huge mystery to me with no logical solution.

Also they are very cold and closed and 100 practical as well, so they don't even truly believe in love and seem to have no feelings. Without passion, there's no way to build chemistry or get warmer. No logical or direct way that is. You can't really connect with an empty shell with no romantic soul or inner life. You know what I mean?

But I'm convinced that NE Asian women just have lower sex drives in general than SE Asian women, who tend to be much hornier. Rock totally agrees with me on that one, and he calls it "that horny Malay blood."

NE Asian women have more wealth that's why they don't put out. Giving money to women is like giving p**n to men after a while they lose interest in the opposite sex. A wealthy woman will see most men as inferior to herself, status(wealth) is what makes men sexy.

Then why do so many bargirls and sluts in philippines wind up with a poor filipino? Its not their bank account they are looking at. Lets just be honest here you married a gold digger like most guys do.

[Winston]

Here is something else we haven't discussed yet.

Another thing I've noticed is that if you are too open minded, Taiwanese women and even Chinese women will not like you. If you are a little open minded, then that may be ok, but the more open minded you are, the more weird they think you are and will avoid you. They definitely do NOT see being open minded as a good trait. In fact, most Taiwanese women, if you ask them, will gladly tell you that they are NOT open minded and NOT open with people. You can easily test this yourself and see that it's true. It's as if they see being closed minded as a good thing, which seems bizarre, but there is a reason for it.

I think the reason they don't like you if you're too open minded is that being too open minded means you will be open to new radical ideas and may end up rebelling against society or not conforming, and thus you will be UNSTABLE, which Taiwanese and even Chinese see as the worst trait a man can have. The ideal man to them is supposed to be someone who is totally focused on being a workaholic and dedicated to their career or business so that they can MAKE LOTS OF MONEY. That's the kind of man they want because financial stability and prosperity mean more than anything to them, even more than love, happiness and freedom.

But a guy who is too open minded will not be narrow in focusing on working and making money and so thus he is seen as unstable and unpredictable, which are NOT the qualities that Taiwanese and Chinese women want in a husband. And if they think you are not husband material, they will not date you. Also, they will probably not want to be around you either because they are afraid that your ideas and open minded ways may "contaminate" them and make them unstable too, which will ruin them.

Any of you notice this about Taiwanese and Chinese women? I've experienced this many times from them. What this means is that if you think you can impress Taiwanese or Chinese women by showing them what a great open minded freethinker you are, it will backfire and have the opposite effect and you will be left wondering why.

[chanta76]

How to get Chinese girls? You got to be physical what they are looking for and more importantly have wealth.

[Devil Dog]

Here is something else we haven't discussed yet.

Another thing I've noticed is that if you are too open minded, Taiwanese women and even Chinese women will not like you. If you are a little open minded, then that may be ok, but the more open minded you are, the more weird they think you are and will avoid you.

WInston, I'm guessing that they start shifting around in their chair when you are telling them about how the moon landing was a hoax. And then halfway through the explanation of how a body double was switched for Paul McCartney in the '60's they are probably looking for the exit.

AMIRITE?

[Ghost]

.

[Falcon]

Light-skinned / NE Asian women don't escalate things, don't tend to flirt, and really prim and proper. I can talk to them really easily but we stay stuck as platonic friends. It's frustrating. SE Asian girls escalate things naturally but the NE Asians don't.

All the great advice posted in this thread simply helped me get more SE Asian dates and girlfriends, not NE Asian ones.

These girls really have lower sex drives on average (confirmed by Rock), and their cultures tend to be really uptight too. Much more so than even white women. For example, many Japanese guys say they don't know how they would start relationships with women, because they're just so uptight and non-flirty.


Some points:

1. Some guys think I have a brown girl fetish and don't like NE Asian women. It's not that. It's that I see the dark / light, NE / SE Asians as equally attractive since I'm not that picky in the first place, and the NE Asian women seem to keep friendzoning me whereas the SE Asian ones don't. So it's obvious to go for the SE Asian ones.

2. People look at me and assume that because I'm a young, tall, thin, decent-looking Asian guy who looks nothing like Winston that I should be able to easily pull NE Asian girlfriends. But I'm not. I'm stuck in the same boat as Winston, so definitely it's not just looks.

3. Yes I would like to have a NE Asian girlfriend, my own type, but for heaven's sake I've never had one before. And it's not because I can't talk to them. I can easily make friends with them. Because I have never turned NE Asian lady friends into girlfriends. I've had a few flings in rural SW China and Vietnam, but never in developed parts of the Sinosphere. No actual relationship.


I've been told that I need to more patient with them. I use my Chinese / Taiwanese sensibilities with these types of women and that results in friendzoning. Being too forward turns them off.
But then I'm also told that I'm often too shy with them and need to bend some of the social norms and be more assertive, which can really put them off if they expect me, as an Asian guy, to be part of their culture and not make social mistakes all the time like white guys do.

If I'm too reserved, then guys like Rock and Winston tell me to be more aggressive.
If I'm too forward, then guys like Ethan_SG will tell me take things more slowly.

It's a Catch-22 situation.

I tried this out in the field, in Taiwan, developed parts of China, and the US. Every single NE Asian girl I befriend ends up being a friend! I try to escalate things subtly and they don't respond or get it, like the SE Asian girls do.

This is why I, like many Western guys, are stuck with the SE Asian girls (about 1/3 of which are light-skinned, actually; so they're not necessarily dark). It's not that I am not interested in NE Asian women. It's, how do you start a relationship with them?!

I'm sick and tired of this. It's so hard finding a balance between being forward and being reserved when trying to turn a friend into a girlfriend. I need to find a balance and work out a plan, but this can turn out to be so frustrating. Quoting Winston from above,

That's the standard seduction process. It works well in Philippines, Russia, Latin America, and maybe eastern Europe. A feminine woman who likes you will respond to this process and allow it to escalate.

But it doesn't seem to work in Taiwan or America. Taiwanese girls don't allow the above steps to escalate. They BLOCK the process completely. They aren't open to seduction at all and are a total cold fish and extremely prudish and frigid.

[MrMan]

But I'm convinced that NE Asian women just have lower sex drives in general than SE Asian women, who tend to be much hornier. Rock totally agrees with me on that one, and he calls it "that horny Malay blood."

I don't know that Malays are hornier. I had a white American friend married to a Korean woman when I lived in South Korea. They were newly weds, so that may explain part of it, but she said she they'd have sex every night. She told him if he wanted her while she was sleeping at night, just to wake her up.

So I think there are horny NE Asian women, too. And a lot of women are hornier in their youth and in their 20's before they have kids. They say some women grow into their peak in their 30's. I think my wife was hornier before the kids and responsibilities. So was I, back when the hormones were raging a bit.

I wish she'd peak at some uber high level of horniness, wake me up riding me night after night, and want it so much that I'd be hiding under the bed in the fetal position with my hand over my groin bed while she looked for me to pounce on me.

[Falcon]

I don't know that Malays are hornier. I had a white American friend married to a Korean woman when I lived in South Korea. They were newly weds, so that may explain part of it, but she said she they'd have sex every night. She told him if he wanted her while she was sleeping at night, just to wake her up.

So I think there are horny NE Asian women, too. And a lot of women are hornier in their youth and in their 20's before they have kids. They say some women grow into their peak in their 30's. I think my wife was hornier before the kids and responsibilities. So was I, back when the hormones were raging a bit.

I wish she'd peak at some uber high level of horniness, wake me up riding me night after night, and want it so much that I'd be hiding under the bed in the fetal position with my hand over my groin bed while she looked for me to pounce on me.

I had an Indonesian girlfriend from Central Java who had raging hormones like that, and she's in her mid-30's (no kids). She'd pounce on me aggressively and wake me up at night, and would practically force herself on me. She wanted it so much.