10 years in Thailand and still single

[Adama]

How does a person feel awkward with hookers? If anyone is going to feel awkward, it should be the person selling her body for money to a complete stranger, and doing that hundreds and thousands of times. That should be a shame for that woman. But as the man, how can you feel awkward when you are having sex with an attractive woman who is doing what you want?

[Adama]

However the problem with socially inept people like me is reading the signs from women in the first place. I have had some cases where women allowed me into their space but I did not understand what to do

That's what I figured. The only advice I can give you on that is to fire up youtube and watch some PUAs use Day Game. Just remember to take the good and leave the bad, because they will teach a lot of evil along with the good.

He should just go to hookers for a good period so he can loosen up, ask them questions, interact, learn that it's not wrong to escalate, to touch. learn what is actually wrong etc etc. It works wonders. He should take advantage of his location for this. Unless he is actually elephant man or something he should be ok.

That certainly makes sense. I don't think it is a problem of physical repulsion. DrRonnie has a very tough internal psychological war which he must win. Unfortunately he is not winning, and he has no idea which way to go, what to do, how to do it, or even which way is up or down. Can prostitots help him? I think there are many ways for men to learn the lessons they need to learn (the ones they missed when they were in their formative years, likely due to social isolation) how to handle women.

It is not a matter of HOW. It is a matter of whether or not Ronnie can win his battle against his low self esteem.

[drronnie]

I guess you are right. I am already nearing my forties so its quite hard for me to do a 180 degrees but I do not know if I should give up yet and cope.

[droid]

However the problem with socially inept people like me is reading the signs from women in the first place. I have had some cases where women allowed me into their space but I did not understand what to do

That's what I figured. The only advice I can give you on that is to fire up youtube and watch some PUAs use Day Game. Just remember to take the good and leave the bad, because they will teach a lot of evil along with the good.

He should just go to hookers for a good period so he can loosen up, ask them questions, interact, learn that it's not wrong to escalate, to touch. learn what is actually wrong etc etc. It works wonders. He should take advantage of his location for this. Unless he is actually elephant man or something he should be ok.

That would be the route for me to go. Becaue at the moment I am even feeling awkward with hookers. And secondly I need to stop checkimg out these sluthate websites/ They really dont help.

I haven't been to Thailand but i've seen in the videos there are bars where you can choose the girls without pressure. Just drink a few beers and try to relax, i would imagine thai girls still come to you and smile etc, even if not just approach them. Sometimes you will suck sometimes it will be nice, and sometimes is not you but the girl. But just keep doing this until you desensitize from it being an uncomfortable situation. Do you have any male friends in Thailand? it's nice to have some friend to compare notes etc.
The whole point is to loosen up, not just getting sex.

I did the above a lot in Colombia last year and it helped me tons, to overcome many chumpzone™ induced traumas, besides it being great fun. It was particularly challenging since things have changed down there, and you now have to actually "game" hookers a little bit in the brothels, they rarely look for the interaction themselves (unlike euro girls but that's another story). But it made for great learning/loosening up wow fantastic.

Also, have you met Winston and the other guys over there? What do you think about his latest updates from thailand, regarding the bars etc?

I guess you are right. I am already nearing my forties so its quite hard for me to do a 180 degrees but I do not know if I should give up yet and cope.

May i ask, are you really one of those stoic guys with a spaced-out, stiff gaze? Or do you talk to people and joke around in daily life? are you proactively friendly? do you smile? do you use Thai learning as an excuse to interact?
How do you look really? Many ex-chumpzone™ guys feel a lot uglier than they really are.

And secondly I need to stop checkimg out these sluthate websites/ They really dont help.

Yeah the internet can really rot your mind. You're already out where you should be location wise. so make the most out of it. That other stuff no longer affects you.

Just my two cents, no big shot by any stretch here

[drronnie]

However the problem with socially inept people like me is reading the signs from women in the first place. I have had some cases where women allowed me into their space but I did not understand what to do

That's what I figured. The only advice I can give you on that is to fire up youtube and watch some PUAs use Day Game. Just remember to take the good and leave the bad, because they will teach a lot of evil along with the good.

He should just go to hookers for a good period so he can loosen up, ask them questions, interact, learn that it's not wrong to escalate, to touch. learn what is actually wrong etc etc. It works wonders. He should take advantage of his location for this. Unless he is actually elephant man or something he should be ok.

That would be the route for me to go. Becaue at the moment I am even feeling awkward with hookers. And secondly I need to stop checkimg out these sluthate websites/ They really dont help.

I haven't been to Thailand but i've seen in the videos there are bars where you can choose the girls without pressure. Just drink a few beers and try to relax, i would imagine thai girls still come to you and smile etc, even if not just approach them. Sometimes you will suck sometimes it will be nice, and sometimes is not you but the girl. But just keep doing this until you desensitize from it being an uncomfortable situation. Do you have any male friends in Thailand? it's nice to have some friend to compare notes etc.
The whole point is to loosen up, not just getting sex.

I did the above a lot in Colombia last year and it helped me tons, to overcome many chumpzone™ induced traumas, besides it being great fun. It was particularly challenging since things have changed down there, and you now have to actually "game" hookers a little bit in the brothels, they rarely look for the interaction themselves (unlike euro girls but that's another story). But it made for great learning/loosening up wow fantastic.

Also, have you met Winston and the other guys over there? What do you think about his latest updates from thailand, regarding the bars etc?

I guess you are right. I am already nearing my forties so its quite hard for me to do a 180 degrees but I do not know if I should give up yet and cope.

May i ask, are you really one of those stoic guys with a spaced-out, stiff gaze? Or do you talk to people and joke around in daily life? are you proactively friendly? do you smile? do you use Thai learning as an excuse to interact?
How do you look really? Many ex-chumpzone™ guys feel a lot uglier than they really are.

And secondly I need to stop checkimg out these sluthate websites/ They really dont help.

Yeah the internet can really rot your mind. You're already out where you should be location wise. so make the most out of it. That other stuff no longer affects you.

Just my two cents, no big shot by any stretch here

No I may be overweight but I think I am not that hideous and I can communicate with women in the office and when it does not involve romantic interests. I can make women laugh and smiles, however when I am on a date I fail miserably. I will be awkward and cramped.

Yes many Thai girls are materialistic but on the other hand there are a lot of average looking guys with less income than me who are with girlfriends so I think my problem is in my head due to the hard rejections I had in my life with girls .

I think your advice with the hookers sounds good because I am not really looking for sex but more for companionship but I need to know how women tick. I have caught myself hating women but on the long run I do not think its useful to hate them just because i cannot connect with them.

[Bao3niang]

To the OP, I understand that you have a cultural / blood connection to Thailand because you are half-Thai. I would like to travel through Thailand some day but I'd not live in Thailand. At one point I was interested in Thailand but after doing a thorough analysis of pros and cons I've decided against it. Thais take the northeast Asian idea of 'face' to a whole new level. Although Thailand is the only country in SE Asia to have never been colonized by a Western nation, it is one of the most Westernized SE Asian countries due to its frequent contact with the West while never formally becoming a colony.

As for Thai women, I'd say that I don't have a very positive opinion of them. There are so many complications to becoming involved with one. Thailand has very high male AND female promiscuity rates. Having affairs is seen as a status symbol. This is directly contrary to the Chinese / NE Asian ideal of faithfulness and commitment that I hold.

[Adama]

Deciding between Thailand and Germany must be a terrible choice for some men. Personally I would choose Germany 10 times out of 10.

I really don't know what your problem is. I would bet the only person who can fix this problem is you. That is unless there is someone there willing to hold your hand the whole time.

Your goal is not a date. Your goal is to establish a relationship. As much as I hate to say it, going out to dinner and the movies isn't what dating is all about. Intimacy is.

If you can get dates, then likely most of those women would be willing to become intimate with you. The problem is that first you must be in a private setting. Isolating them is key. Second, you have to take ownership of her body in a gentle way that says, "Come here and kiss me." Just pull her in close, and kiss her. If she isn't interested, she will resist and/or say no. If she doesn't resist, then you've just made the first step towards getting a girlfriend. You're allowed to do this. You're a man, and I've never had a woman refuse a kiss (just a couple who wouldn't kiss back haha).

If you can't master escalation of physical intimacy, you have another choice, if you have the money: Go on a foreign bride tour to the Philippines. You should be able to find a wife that way. Why don't you consider that? After you get married to the Filipina, you'll figure out where to stick things and how to get there.

Have you ever made out (kissed deeply) with a woman before, Dr Ronnie?

[drronnie]

Deciding between Thailand and Germany must be a terrible choice for some men. Personally I would choose Germany 10 times out of 10.

I really don't know what your problem is. I would bet the only person who can fix this problem is you. That is unless there is someone there willing to hold your hand the whole time.

Your goal is not a date. Your goal is to establish a relationship. As much as I hate to say it, going out to dinner and the movies isn't what dating is all about. Intimacy is.

If you can get dates, then likely most of those women would be willing to become intimate with you. The problem is that first you must be in a private setting. Isolating them is key. Second, you have to take ownership of her body in a gentle way that says, "Come here and kiss me." Just pull her in close, and kiss her. If she isn't interested, she will resist and/or say no. If she doesn't resist, then you've just made the first step towards getting a girlfriend. You're allowed to do this. You're a man, and I've never had a woman refuse a kiss (just a couple who wouldn't kiss back haha).

If you can't master escalation of physical intimacy, you have another choice, if you have the money: Go on a foreign bride tour to the Philippines. You should be able to find a wife that way. Why don't you consider that? After you get married to the Filipina, you'll figure out where to stick things and how to get there.

Have you ever made out (kissed deeply) with a woman before, Dr Ronnie?

Thanks for the advices. Yes I have kissed deeply but with a Thai hooker. I know that Thai women have a bad reputation but as a matter of fact if you got cash then there is no need for social skills but that seems only to work in the bar scene. I agree materialism plays a greta role in Thailand but if that were to be 100 percent true then taxis drivers, students, factory workers will all be incel but thats not the case.

[Adama]

Deciding between Thailand and Germany must be a terrible choice for some men. Personally I would choose Germany 10 times out of 10.

I really don't know what your problem is. I would bet the only person who can fix this problem is you. That is unless there is someone there willing to hold your hand the whole time.

Your goal is not a date. Your goal is to establish a relationship. As much as I hate to say it, going out to dinner and the movies isn't what dating is all about. Intimacy is.

If you can get dates, then likely most of those women would be willing to become intimate with you. The problem is that first you must be in a private setting. Isolating them is key. Second, you have to take ownership of her body in a gentle way that says, "Come here and kiss me." Just pull her in close, and kiss her. If she isn't interested, she will resist and/or say no. If she doesn't resist, then you've just made the first step towards getting a girlfriend. You're allowed to do this. You're a man, and I've never had a woman refuse a kiss (just a couple who wouldn't kiss back haha).

If you can't master escalation of physical intimacy, you have another choice, if you have the money: Go on a foreign bride tour to the Philippines. You should be able to find a wife that way. Why don't you consider that? After you get married to the Filipina, you'll figure out where to stick things and how to get there.

Have you ever made out (kissed deeply) with a woman before, Dr Ronnie?

Thanks for the advices. Yes I have kissed deeply but with a Thai hooker. I know that Thai women have a bad reputation but as a matter of fact if you got cash then there is no need for social skills but that seems only to work in the bar scene. I agree materialism plays a greta role in Thailand but if that were to be 100 percent true then taxis drivers, students, factory workers will all be incel but thats not the case.

It's not a matter of money. I am not saying it is a matter of money. I think it is a matter of courage. So I am saying, if you can't find the courage to do this somehow, then you should go for a foreign bride tour where they introduce you to the women and the women are actively looking to marry someone. Most of the work will be done for you there. All you have to do is pick one. That's if you can afford the travel tickets and tour fees.

[drronnie]

I will just try again. Man if an overweight taxi driver manages to get dates why would I be able? Its all in my head.

[droid]

I will just try again. Man if an overweight taxi driver manages to get dates why would I be able? Its all in my head.

But what's going on man, it's been three weeks since the last update. Did you do anything i suggested?
I'd love to be in Thailand myself trying some of those bar girls. So close but right now i can't.

I should also add a little on the escalation part: If the girl has agreed to a date with you it means she likes you a bit already , so grab her hand and compliment it
a bit, you are not doing anything wrong with that. If you have doubt , you can ask her if it's ok to hold her hand in public. That's what i do here, so far they say it's good.

And you take it from there, nothing wrong by trying to escalate slowly. If she is conservative and feels uncomfortable you back track a little bit, and then try again.
Then you get her to sit close to you in the park. If that works then later you touch her chin a little bit. If that works then later you pull her chin softly for a smooch. Nothing wrong with this, not a sin. Again if she gives resistance it's not necessarily she dislikes you , she might just be conservative or trying to appear so.
But remember, she agreed to going out with you, so you are not committing any sin by trying.

Do some of this escalation with the hookers man, you have to get the practice down. Many posters here dwell on theory.
Again I'm not a big shot here, but god knows i've tried hard.

[Adama]

I will just try again. Man if an overweight taxi driver manages to get dates why would I be able? Its all in my head.

Yes, it probably is all in your head. Life is like that. Your focus determines your reality.

Personally I don't think it matters where you go in the world, as long as there are attractive women there in the proper range, you should be capable of getting a woman in any country. I think the problem is you lack confidence and you have no idea what to do.

Are you afraid of women? I remember I was so frightfully afraid of women. That was also part of the problem. So even when a hot girl was interested, I couldnt talk to them, and I certainly couldn't direct the date or take control as the man (and despite what anyone tells you, unless she's an absolute beast, a woman expects the man to lead her around). You need to be confident enough that you can lead women around without fear or guilt.

Remember, the woman was made for the man, and not the man for the woman. She was made to help Adam. Adam was not created to grovel and beg Eve for her presence. Her presence was granted to him by God, and it is God who compels women to please men. All you have to do is screen the women for which ones want to please you.

[xiongmao]

I had a lot of fun living in Thailand a couple of years ago, but dating was pretty bad there. China was way better.

I met two really great ladies in 6 months of dating in Thailand. One was a random hookup from wechat - she was really sweet and gave awesome gfe but she wasn't that smart and it was also pretty easy to see that her fat sister wanted a rich farang in the family. The other one was quite shy and had a good character but on the downside she spoke little English and she just wasn't as fun as other women I'd dated.

On the plus side though the food was much better than in China and it was far easier to get access to Western quality healthcare, media and other stuff.

[droid]

...Crickets......

[drronnie]

I will just try again. Man if an overweight taxi driver manages to get dates why would I be able? Its all in my head.

Yes, it probably is all in your head. Life is like that. Your focus determines your reality.

Personally I don't think it matters where you go in the world, as long as there are attractive women there in the proper range, you should be capable of getting a woman in any country. I think the problem is you lack confidence and you have no idea what to do.

Are you afraid of women? I remember I was so frightfully afraid of women. That was also part of the problem. So even when a hot girl was interested, I couldnt talk to them, and I certainly couldn't direct the date or take control as the man (and despite what anyone tells you, unless she's an absolute beast, a woman expects the man to lead her around). You need to be confident enough that you can lead women around without fear or guilt.

Remember, the woman was made for the man, and not the man for the woman. She was made to help Adam. Adam was not created to grovel and beg Eve for her presence. Her presence was granted to him by God, and it is God who compels women to please men. All you have to do is screen the women for which ones want to please you.

And how do I get this confidence? I reckon there are non attractive and not well to do men who get women interested in them. My relative who is a carpenter with very low salary can pick up a women and he is not cool and not handsome but somehow he knows how to carry a conversation with women. I dont know what to do with a woman after the second date.