Dating women in South Korea

[gofishus]

It seemed to me that Korean females were always problematic because they were always domestically dominant. Korea avoided turning to complete shit with females taking over by keeping them in the private sphere, with the public sphere being solely men, and the lives of men and females were kept somewhat separate, but otherwise the females dominated to an unhealthy extent. Most Korean men supplicate to Oma. Most Korean men hand over their income to their wives and are put on an allowance, which makes me want to vomit blood. With the promotion of feminism by the globalists and the economic obsolescence of Korean men, I imagine Korean females will get much worse. Korea was a feminist scourge waiting to happen.

Sorry, but saying that Korean females are "dominant" in the household when most women from the last generation were housewives, and a good chunk of this forum promotes Chinese women who are even stronger by any standard is both ironic and hypocritical and ignorant as well, since a good chunk of Korean women are not strong at all

[MrMan]

I have to sometimes be really forcefull to keep her in line. Outside of that she is ok. Not perfect but no one is.

How do you mean? Please illustrate with some stories so we can get a better picture of how to keep a Korean woman in line.

[MrMan]

It seemed to me that Korean females were always problematic because they were always domestically dominant. Korea avoided turning to complete shit with females taking over by keeping them in the private sphere, with the public sphere being solely men, and the lives of men and females were kept somewhat separate, but otherwise the females dominated to an unhealthy extent. Most Korean men supplicate to Oma. Most Korean men hand over their income to their wives and are put on an allowance, which makes me want to vomit blood. With the promotion of feminism by the globalists and the economic obsolescence of Korean men, I imagine Korean females will get much worse. Korea was a feminist scourge waiting to happen.

That reminds me of a joke I heard in Korea.

There was a man who lived in a Korean village a long time ago. His wife bossed him around at home. So he grew tired of it and decided to meet with other men to figure out how to solve the problem. He called a meeting of all the men in the village. He admitted, "You may not know this about me, but my wife bosses me around at home. I want all of you to be honest, and if you have the same problem, please go stand on the right side of the building." All the men moved to the right side of the building like he asked except for one."

So he asked the one man standing alone, "How is it that you are able to be in charge of your wife at home. Please share your secret with us."

The man answered, "My wife told me to stay away from crowds."

There must be something to the issue or the joke wouldn't exist. Japan has historically been one of the most 'macho' cultures, at least in the past. But a Japanese friend of mine said that the Japanese said there were 'King ruled' and 'Queen ruled' households, so the same problem must exist in some families in Japan.

I think just about any woman, unless she's the very docile type, is going to try to boss or push her husband around if he lets her. You do have to set some boundaries from time to time. I also think women get really frustrated with husbands who let them boss them around. They crave the leadership of a man, though another part of the female psyche wants to be bossy. Feminists aren't the only ones confused about this. Some feminists respond, contrary to their philosophy, to a dominant male. But non-feminists who believe men are supposed to be in charge can turn bossy if a man doesn't 'keep them in line'. And I'm not talking about violence, just interaction. I wish I knew all the keys to this stuff, but I know a lot more than I did when I first got married.

My advice is for young men who date and marry to keep this in mind and make it a part of the relationship from the get-go. Get her coming to you asking for permission. You can ask for her preferences and advice, but don't ask her permission. If she shows you any disrespect, call her on it. Just letting her know that you don't tolerate disrespect is enough for a lot of women. Get a woman like that, one whose emotionally stable and doesn't have problems with control or disrespect. And definitely don't marry a woman who thinks she's supposed to be in charge or doesn't think it's morally right for a man to take the lead. Bad philosophy can lead to big problems in marriage.

I was a really nice guy when I got married. My wife wanted to submit to me, and still does. But early on, I didn't really lead and direct enough, and I let my wife take over a bit too much. Part of that was being busy with grad school and other things. So I had to readjust things a bit and be more of a leader. I had to point out areas where she wasn't showing proper respect and things like that. It is possible to make a course correction, at least if your wife has the right mindset when it comes to men and women's roles and wants to do what's right. It helps if she fears the Lord and has the Lord working in her life. That's my wife's real motivation and power to do what's right. I think it's easier if you set the course right at the beginning, though, and let the woman know your expectations before you get married.

[MrMan]

I've seen a few Korean dramas and there are households in the drama where the momma is a tyrant. Often, the drama involves a son getting married and the daughter-in-law having to be the slave to the tyrant mother-in-law. Sometimes the husband seems afraid of his wife. There was a drama where a wife was kind of tough and husband and wife had given each other a black eye. I wondered if that was supposed to be some kind of comedy for Koreans. That is kind of disturbing for a US audience.

One show had an arrogant, scheming, conniving wife in one of the families. Her husband may have been shorter than her. But he was a very fair man, and when he caught his wife misbehaving, he was tough and strict. His wife did something wrong to the younger, main character, and he took her over to the girl's house, got down on his knees and apologized and made his wife do the same thing. Getting down on their knees to apologize seems to be the ultimate apology in these dramas, a really dramatic thing. I liked the husband character in that show.

I suppose the fact that dramas will show both male-dominated and female-dominated households indicates it could go both ways in Korea. They usually pick up on some archetype in the culture and build on it, I suppose.

[chanta76]

Mrman,

I can't speak about all Korean women or other Korean wives. Just my wife. I been married for few years now. There were a number of times that I would have to literal smack her . No I don't beat her or anything like that but I had to really put my foot down. Sometimes it works and there was a time in USA and western countries men did this to their wives. Time changes but if you look at countries where feminist didn't sprout up the man -woman relationship is old fashion. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure it out myself but as a man you have to be strong and lead the woman and family. If not the woman will walk all over you..and yes this would also mean a Korean woman too.

[gofishus]

Lol I've never met a feminist in Korea yet... 2 years I've been here, not a single tomboy, not a single feminist. So I'm not sure what you guys are talking about. All the guys here are macho and drag girls around, the girls prefer the guys to make decisions here. If you are letting the girl make the decision, then thats a sign of weakness. OR the girl is extremely pretty and has some value, so has the ability to boss the guy around since she has lots of options. However for the most part, I've never had a Korean girl boss me around before, I've always been the "man" so to speak.

[droid]

Lol I've never met a feminist in Korea yet... 2 years I've been here, not a single tomboy, not a single feminist. So I'm not sure what you guys are talking about. All the guys here are macho and drag girls around, the girls prefer the guys to make decisions here. If you are letting the girl make the decision, then thats a sign of weakness. OR the girl is extremely pretty and has some value, so has the ability to boss the guy around since she has lots of options. However for the most part, I've never had a Korean girl boss me around before, I've always been the "man" so to speak.

Well it's nice to see a contrarian view here, it gives some hope.
How aloof/friendly do you find them? How do they really compare in big cities vs small towns vs the west, etc?

[gofishus]

As I said in my opening post, Korean girls are friendly to foreigners but very shy and dating them is difficult because they are more exclusive than other Asians. Doesn't hurt to try tho, they do speak among the best English for Asians, not as good as Filipinos but better than Japanese and Chinese for sure. Seoul is extremely busy and the girls here will rarely have time to meet you. I would recommend the smaller towns like Daegu or Busan (not small, but smaller than Seoul), those girls are more down to earth, less superficial and will have more time to meet.

[chanta76]

gofishus,

I'm a kyopo who speaks some Korean . Married to a Korean woman. I think a BIG reason why feminism never truly took off in South Korea is because the Korean parents are pretty controlling. That's also a BIG part why Korean girls exclusively date/marry Korean guys. Most of the Korean parents prefer their daughters to be with a Korean guy. A traditional Korean girl who is respectful to her parents follows that path. That's also a reason why korean girls don't become feminist because of the family dynamics in South Korea. I really think in the USA because of the western family dynamics it encourages feminism which is different topic.

However, women power is growing in Korea . I visited Korea way back in the 1990's and the last time was 2015. Over the timeline I can tell you how Korean women changes and became allot more independent and yes feminism does exist in Korea . It's not like American women feminism but different form. Back in the 1990's it was common to meet a Korean girl even in her late 20's or 30's who were still virgins and never had a boy friend and wait for that one guy. A Korean girl back then would do all the traditional stuff for her guy. Some k-girls might be like this today but not as common.

Nowadays it changed with some Korean girls sleeping around which may sound great to you but with the rise of sexual revolution was in tandem with the rise of women rights. Back in 2008 when I was still single and visited South Korea. I notice that the Korean girls use their sex appeal to assert control . In other words they acted no different from a bitchy American girl you see in the clubs. I remember way back in 1995 that never happened. Back in 1995 I would approach the hottest k-girl and she would be humble enough to talk to me but in 2008 some of them acted no different from the stuck up western girls.

Korean girls are also very superficial. I really think this is their way of being feminist . For example when I look at my parents generation the Korean women in past generation were allot more humble and would support her husband . Nowadays Korean girls expect the guy to have a house, job, money, be tall, good looking, and be romantic. Hmm..maybe I'm mistaking materialism and superficiality with feminism.

But American women are like that too..they expect the guy to have A-Z ..but scream women rights in your face. Korean girls expect A-Z but they are not their yet when it comes to screaming women rights. Not yet. The issues is kyopo girls. Many of the Korean American girls I met had chips on their shoulders the longer they stay in Korea. A big part of it is they are ignored or feel ugly compared the local Korean girls..but many of the kyopo girls were feminist and some stay in South Korea to create a movement.

[gofishus]

Yeah of course the gyopo girls are feminist.. they were influenced in America. Sure Korean girls are getting more power these days... thats a GOOD thing. I actively support them. For generations they were meek housewives and finally they can assert some control. And if the girl is hot as hell and a little bit stuck up, thats fine. Better than American girls who are stuck up AND fat ugly whales....

[gofishus]

gofishus,

I'm a kyopo who speaks some Korean . Married to a Korean woman. I think a BIG reason why feminism never truly took off in South Korea is because the Korean parents are pretty controlling. That's also a BIG part why Korean girls exclusively date/marry Korean guys. Most of the Korean parents prefer their daughters to be with a Korean guy. A traditional Korean girl who is respectful to her parents follows that path. That's also a reason why korean girls don't become feminist because of the family dynamics in South Korea. I really think in the USA because of the western family dynamics it encourages feminism which is different topic.

However, women power is growing in Korea . I visited Korea way back in the 1990's and the last time was 2015. Over the timeline I can tell you how Korean women changes and became allot more independent and yes feminism does exist in Korea . It's not like American women feminism but different form. Back in the 1990's it was common to meet a Korean girl even in her late 20's or 30's who were still virgins and never had a boy friend and wait for that one guy. A Korean girl back then would do all the traditional stuff for her guy. Some k-girls might be like this today but not as common.

Nowadays it changed with some Korean girls sleeping around which may sound great to you but with the rise of sexual revolution was in tandem with the rise of women rights. Back in 2008 when I was still single and visited South Korea. I notice that the Korean girls use their sex appeal to assert control . In other words they acted no different from a bitchy American girl you see in the clubs. I remember way back in 1995 that never happened. Back in 1995 I would approach the hottest k-girl and she would be humble enough to talk to me but in 2008 some of them acted no different from the stuck up western girls.

Korean girls are also very superficial. I really think this is their way of being feminist . For example when I look at my parents generation the Korean women in past generation were allot more humble and would support her husband . Nowadays Korean girls expect the guy to have a house, job, money, be tall, good looking, and be romantic. Hmm..maybe I'm mistaking materialism and superficiality with feminism.

But American women are like that too..they expect the guy to have A-Z ..but scream women rights in your face. Korean girls expect A-Z but they are not their yet when it comes to screaming women rights. Not yet. The issues is kyopo girls. Many of the Korean American girls I met had chips on their shoulders the longer they stay in Korea. A big part of it is they are ignored or feel ugly compared the local Korean girls..but many of the kyopo girls were feminist and some stay in South Korea to create a movement.

Of course gyopos are feminist.. they were influenced in America. Also, I'm happy that Korean girls have more rights now, cause they deserve to. They have to do so much more than other girls, look pretty all the time, know english etc. And were meek housewives for a generation. Its a good thing they finally have some power. And if the girl is hot as hell, who cares if she's a bit stuck up? bound to happen with any hot girl. At least it isn't an American girl who is stuck up AND a fat ugly whale.

[gofishus]

gofishus,

I'm a kyopo who speaks some Korean . Married to a Korean woman. I think a BIG reason why feminism never truly took off in South Korea is because the Korean parents are pretty controlling. That's also a BIG part why Korean girls exclusively date/marry Korean guys. Most of the Korean parents prefer their daughters to be with a Korean guy. A traditional Korean girl who is respectful to her parents follows that path. That's also a reason why korean girls don't become feminist because of the family dynamics in South Korea. I really think in the USA because of the western family dynamics it encourages feminism which is different topic.

However, women power is growing in Korea . I visited Korea way back in the 1990's and the last time was 2015. Over the timeline I can tell you how Korean women changes and became allot more independent and yes feminism does exist in Korea . It's not like American women feminism but different form. Back in the 1990's it was common to meet a Korean girl even in her late 20's or 30's who were still virgins and never had a boy friend and wait for that one guy. A Korean girl back then would do all the traditional stuff for her guy. Some k-girls might be like this today but not as common.

Nowadays it changed with some Korean girls sleeping around which may sound great to you but with the rise of sexual revolution was in tandem with the rise of women rights. Back in 2008 when I was still single and visited South Korea. I notice that the Korean girls use their sex appeal to assert control . In other words they acted no different from a bitchy American girl you see in the clubs. I remember way back in 1995 that never happened. Back in 1995 I would approach the hottest k-girl and she would be humble enough to talk to me but in 2008 some of them acted no different from the stuck up western girls.

Korean girls are also very superficial. I really think this is their way of being feminist . For example when I look at my parents generation the Korean women in past generation were allot more humble and would support her husband . Nowadays Korean girls expect the guy to have a house, job, money, be tall, good looking, and be romantic. Hmm..maybe I'm mistaking materialism and superficiality with feminism.

But American women are like that too..they expect the guy to have A-Z ..but scream women rights in your face. Korean girls expect A-Z but they are not their yet when it comes to screaming women rights. Not yet. The issues is kyopo girls. Many of the Korean American girls I met had chips on their shoulders the longer they stay in Korea. A big part of it is they are ignored or feel ugly compared the local Korean girls..but many of the kyopo girls were feminist and some stay in South Korea to create a movement.

Also, why doesnt Korean men seem to have the same pressure to date within their own race like Korean girls do? I see most Korean guys are very open to dating foreign girls, yet for Korean girls this is much less evident.. why is that?

[The_Adventurer]

Great post chanta76. I honestly wish there was more detailed and useful content like this around this board.

When people think of feminism, they immediately think of western or American feminism, with the man-hating, bra burning, lesbianism and horrible attitudes. Maybe the way it's happening in Asia, and it is happening, even in China and Japan and elsewhere, shouldn't be called feminism. It really is its own brand of women's rights or women's progress.

I had a conversation with a local Shanghai man about women's attitudes in modern times. He says he blames the chairman and his idea that women hold up half of the sky. Women are soldiers, police, they work and even own huge successful business. They also still get slapped around by their husbands and nothing happens legally. It is very different from western feminism, but what it has done to attitudes and expectations may be the same.

Divorce rates have skyrocketed all over Asia. It seems as common as in the west where I live. In Japan you often have older women leaving their husbands to go find themselves. They experience "freedom" in some form or another. The old man, who was used to always have a wife around to take care of the home and related things, now has to go it alone.

I believe the system has simply changed and no longer supports this 1950's, Pleasantville lifestyle. We may very well be headed for a world where everyone works, and everyone is free to bang whomever. Relationships last as long as they last and everyone moves on.

[chanta76]

gofishus,

That's how things start. A couple of things about South Korea....they are getting bigger and fatter. Not at the same rate as Americans but it is slowly happeneing. As Korean women act more and more stuck up and superficialy it wouldn't be too far from how western girls act. Not sure why you think this is good thing.

I'm Korean male who grew up in the USA and my parents were dead set against me dating inter-racial relationship. Even if I wanted to as an Asian man in America as you know it's allot HARDER for Asian guys to date inter-racially. Hmm..I wonder why? Is it becuase of America racism towards Asian guys ? I think so.

In matter of fact from what I know most Korean parents are harder in the Korean sons to marry within the race. Why? The Korean culture is base upon the son taking caring of the family and the son bearing the responsibilities. A part of the reason why Korean women don't want to marry a Korean men is because of the structure of the Korean family. Watch any Korean drama and they show case horrible the in-laws are. So some Korean women want to escape and therefore they seek white guys as an escape. Notice that most Korean girls if they choose to date outside the race . It's not the African guys or Arab guys (You see bunch in it-taewon) not other Asian guys unless they are really hot looking..it's usually western white guys. Hmm..yeap white male privilege .

When I was in South Korea and spoke to other Korean guys ..almost all Korean guys I spoke prefer Korean girls but I imgaine there are some Korean guys who have fantasy to sleep with a white girl or non-Asian girl..but in practice they rarely approach.

SOuth Korea is still male dominate society..because it's a male dominate society the men in that country would call dibs on their own women. In some ways I'm proud that Korea does this instead of making Korean girls appear too cheap . Honestly ...places like the Philippines or Thailand has a reputation where the women are too easy...people sometimes end up not respecting someone if your too easy. South Korea is one of the few Asian countries that tries to stop that..and that's also a big part of the reason why you meet bitter expats there too.

[droid]

-erased by mistake-