How many of you actually Cold Approach girls?

[Tiger900]

There is a difference though. Unlike in the USA, in Italy, you may have great luck in joining a good social circle within a short period of time. Same with other countries like Mexico, if you go back and read AmericanInMexico. There used to be an American Army vet named Stallywood who used to say that he could join social circles in Italy within a week or so on a short vacation, and that was how he met women.

So initially it sounds like a bad thing. But it is just the way things are done there, and it saves the woman time in having to determine if you are a dangerous man or a decent man without having to do the work herself (better to have others do it for you, plus the man has a lot of people to answer to).

Well, I live in Milan...one of the biggest cities in Italy. I can tell you that here groups are closed, people tend to hang out with guys and girls they know since elementary school and I'm not kidding. Sometimes they make new friends in high school but after that it's sealed. In college it's hard to meet new people because (I'm making an example about my city) people from Milan hang out with the guys and girls they already know (from Milan) and people that come from other cities come here with other friends or they go out with people from the same local area that moved to Milan.
There is only one exception. If you have high status (meaning you know lots of beautiful girls and your social circle is already big) everybody want you in their social circle because they know they can exploit you and meet new girls through you. Also beautiful girls can get in every social circle they want.

I do believe about your story though. Americans are appreciated here so lots of people want to know them better and they can invite them out or introduce them to new people. It's the same for italians abroad. I have friends that have been to US college/universities and said they had a blast there. Recently one of my friends (a girl) went to NYC to "study" at the New York Film Academy and she's having a very good time there.
So I think for foreign people is a bit different

[Winston]

I have done but they certainly weren't the norm, all of them got rejected 100% of the time whether or they had a friendly conversation. Cold approaches are a common trope in American movies but they don't reflect real life.

Lol wat I have no such urge. It would cost someone a lot of money to get me to cold approach someone.

so you have never tried something but are 100% sure it is impossible for it to work for anyone

seems logical

Seeker is totally wrong. Cold approach may not usually work in america, but it definitely does in Philippines. I met many awesome girls from doing it there in the past few weeks. One of them was a hot girl who works at a coffee shop and wanted to meet me after her work. But by the time she offered to meet me, i was already on the way to the airport to fly to bangkok. Murphys law. Dang.

However, i met my new girlfriend at a disco via cold approach, which i will tell you all about later. So that is my biggest gain so far from cold approach. Even dianne was met from cold approach in an internet cafe.

[Winston]

I think I do. What does "cold approach" mean? What would be an example? Just walking up to a woman & asking "Wanna f**k?" or is it just starting to talk about something like "You know the guy that wrote that is actually...?" Is a "Hello," involved?

No. Its very simple. You walk up to the girl and make small talk. Then ask if you can get to know her by getting her number. If she refuses then ask her for her social app ID like whatsapp or viber or line or wechat. If that fails then ask for her email.

In china, you gotta do it indirectly by asking her innocent questions first, like "where is the nearest subway station" and roll from there. Once she gets comfortable with you and gets a good vibe from you, she will exchange contact info with you usually. I have a harmless face so that helps, as well as some exotic appeal from my foreign accent.

In Philippines you can be more direct. Tell the girl that shes very "maganda" and ask for her number. Works very well. Many guys here have seen me do it live and can attest that it works. Ask rock or zboy or ethan_sg. They can tell you that theyve seen me do this many times firsthand and it is easy and works well and is fun too.

When i cold approach i act like a kid in a candy store and act like im in a joking mood, so that automatically makes the situation less tense and more funny.

Not everyone can do this of course. It depends on your personality.

[Winston]

Check out what someone in our facebook group said:

https://mobile.facebook.com/groups/7616 ... =bookmarks

"Winston I have a theory that a country only has hot approachable young women when the GDP per PPP is 10K or less. And as it approaches 15K its as bad as america. For example mexico is 18K right now. Indonesia is about 11K Thailand is i think 16K China is a bit under 10K vietnam and phil are well under 10K. At one time thailand and china were very poor but not as much now but china is poor enough that some women are still approachable they are poorer on average than thai."

[DatingAlpha]

Approaching girls, cold or not, is as natural as life itself. Just do it in a cool and fun way just like how Winston do it but with a twist of your own personality or style.

[Eric]

You guys are way overthinking this... I feel like the frame of mind of 'You' matters a lot. If you're in a good frame of mind, naturally - you'll radiate that out and attract what you give back from people. You'll also see things as how they really 'are' and not how you see them if that makes sense. I dunno how it works, it's very weird...This is a human thing, most of us get in our way. We see things as a danger onto other people and see it there on them, whether it's there or not, it's called projection. Both men and women do this - and it really sucks. You can also influence someone into a more natural state if you are 'being' natural - it lets them put their guard down and stop projecting. It works for someone most of the time, but if they are way messed up - then usually won't, just move on.

but I swear half the (most of the time) it's the negative/clouded state of mind we are in that gets in our way. Not other people. Of course if all you're thinking about all day is hating females, feminism and all this other bullsh*t then that's all you're gonna see.
The trick is getting yourself, freeing yourself from your habitual chains, whatever they are. That's really a challenge for most people.
It doesn't come easily, there are tricks. Like doing things differently during the day, I read Solomon's proverbs, that seems to help me to shut up and listen... and see things as they really are, which is a requisite for what I'm talking about really.

That could just be me though, I dunno and can't speak for everybody. Just myself.

[Mr Natural]

Just walking up to a woman & asking "Wanna f**k?"

No. Its very simple. You walk up to the girl and make small talk.

Well it all depends on what your objective is. Making small talk and such will get a better response a much higher percentage of the time, but is making small talk and getting to know her your real objective? If so then great. On the other hand just directly asking if they "Wanna f**k?" will not work very often at all, but on those rare occasions when it does it's going to be gold. So depends on how you look at it and whether you are honest/bold enough to just ask for what you really want.

[Winston]

I've been cold approaching girls since 2002, so I've done it many thousands of times. You can ask many of my friends about it, such as Rock, Zboy1 or Ethan_sg. They've seen me in action many times. I've gotten some dates and girlfriends from it too. Here's what I've learned about it from my experience that I want to share with you. Here are some observations and tips.

First the observations.

1) Most guys are not comfortable doing cold approach. We are not raised by society to do that kind of thing. It's considered predatory and abnormal by western society. So most guys don't have the guts for it. You have to have good social skills and talking skills and have worked in sales/marketing type jobs to be comfortable with cold approach. Or have a lot of experience with it. It's not something that comes easily. You also gotta be an open minded type to enjoy talking to strangers easily too.

2) You also have to be in a positive mood to do it. If you are thinking negative thoughts or not in a great mood, you may not feel the energy or motivation to do it. It takes a certain type of mood. Plus you always have to deal with approach anxiety, no matter how experienced you are, because each new girl you approach represents "the great unknown" so even if you're experienced and used to it, there's always gonna be approach anxiety. Even experienced actors report feeling stage anxiety each time they go on stage to do a performance.

3) Even if you are good at cold approaching, most of the girls you meet are just going to become casual acquaintances or flake out. That's how life is. Most people you meet in general do not become close friends or lovers or intimate partners. It's a numbers game where you will hit it off or succeed with only a small percentage. Therefore, you gotta be very PROACTIVE and do it a lot and take advantage of every opportunity before it's missed, and not be afraid of failure or rejection.

Some tips and suggestions:

4) One thing I find that helps ease the tension and stress of cold approach is if you treat it as a joke and act playful about it. Kind of like how a comedian acts when he or she is telling a joke on stage. He creates a lighthearted mood and acts playful, like a kid having fun. If you do that, it makes it far less stressful and takes the anxiety off, for you and the girl you're approaching. It also makes the girls feel more at ease, since you are acting kind of funny and close to making them laugh -- whether at you or with you, either way it helps. Even if you're not a good comedian or good at telling jokes or making them laugh, at least act like you are having fun. That way it will rub off on them and make them feel better and more comfortable about meeting you and talking to you, thus allowing you to work your charm. This way the atmosphere doesn't feel as serious, so they are less likely to be uptight about it.

5) If you feel approach anxiety or don't know what to say when you approach, just ask her a simple innocent question, such as "How do I get to this place or landmark?", "Where is the nearest subway station?", "Where are we on this map?" (while showing her your map), etc. Then from there, after she answers your question, try to hold the conversation longer. If she's interested, she will continue talking to you and maybe start asking you questions too, such "Where are you from?" and will be more proactive with the conversation. If not, she will be in a hurry to leave. You just gotta watch her body language. If she seems interested, just ask a few more questions, preferably open ended ones. Try to make her comfortable and establish a familiarity. Make her laugh and tease her a little, put her down in funny lighthearted ways. See if she will join you for a drink so you can continue kinoing with her. If she is too busy and can't, then try to get her number or chat app info (e.g. WeChat, WhatsApp, Viber or Facebook), or email at the very least. If she is interested, she will reciprocate and make all this a lot easier for you.

6) When talking to her, try not to treat her as a sex object. Otherwise, she could get bad vibes from you. Instead, try to treat her like an interesting person you would like to get to know. That will give her good vibes from you, so that she will feel more comfortable with you. Especially if you make her laugh, joke with her, tease her, etc. It all takes practice of course. You gotta treat each try as a fun learning experience, even if it goes nowhere. Don't take any rejection or disinterest personally. See it as a video game, where if you lose, it's just "a game" and you can start over again next time, just as you would with any game. That way you don't take it too seriously and don't take it personally if you don't win.

So overall, cold approaching is hard work. Not easy. It can be fun, but it involves a lot of approach anxiety too. It also involves skills and is for certain personality types, particularly those who are good in sales/marketing/public relations type of jobs. Also you gotta be open minded to talk to strangers easily. Not everyone can do that. You can get results with it. But you gotta be proactive and doing it a lot or regularly to get results. It's something you gotta work at, because it goes against how we are raised in society. We are not raised by society to cold approach women or try to pick up girls. That's something outside the normal system that one has to work at and develop constantly. But each time you do it, it does get easier the next time, that's the good news. And if you act playful and lighthearted about it, as though you're having fun and not so serious, it will help, because it will rub off on them and put them at ease. Finally, you also have to LOVE cold approaching girls and really ENJOY it, otherwise you will not have the motivation to do it.

[starchild5]

The conversion rate i have seen cold approaching girls is below 1% but in online dating its around 30%, may be because I'm Indian and women judge before they get to see my inner beauty

Getting Laid by cold approaching ....I'm not sure a good idea, As Winston said...they just become your friends ....if it just happens like in bus stop or airport or malls then fine but if we specifically go for PUAs cold approach..I don't know how much it actually converts.

Lots of online videos of PUAs getting numbers but very few of them showing sleeping with them later.

Dating sites are better because you can fake your looks and then show your inner skills to impress and get a connection somehow. I think if a women get connected to you, it becomes a lot difficult for her to leave even if you tweaked your picture which she finds out when you meet her in real but usually it works...I know I tried it ...

I fake it online just to get a connection and then my Skills do the talking.

Since many HA members are not good in approaching nor look like Bradd Pitt...Why force yourself into stuff which you are not good at and even then, conversion rate is so low...its depressing.

Dating sites are better, where you can fake your profile and then impress the girl with your inner skills which is what most members here are good at.

[El_Caudillo]

And if the girl fakes her profile too? Is that OK if she has inner-beauty! Last two dates I had set up from a dating site looked nothing like their profile photos. I'm going for the cold approach now - hey at least it makes me feel alive! A lot of the game is feeling the possibility of dating a hot girl - it's what motivates you, gets you out on the streets looking around, rather than crouched over a keyboard (like I am now).

[starchild5]

And if the girl fakes her profile too? Is that OK if she has inner-beauty! Last two dates I had set up from a dating site looked nothing like their profile photos. I'm going for the cold approach now - hey at least it makes me feel alive! A lot of the game is feeling the possibility of dating a hot girl - it's what motivates you, gets you out on the streets looking around, rather than crouched over a keyboard (like I am now).

Only if you go with high expectation...I don't follow mainstream and never believed when my mom said, I'm the cutest...

When you know you are Ugly/Average and not have high expectation ...It would be a smooth ride..There are lots of fakes but you would easily forget it as the real one is just around the corner to be trapped by your Inner Beauty...

Inner Beauty does not count for females.....Male-Female equation on earth are not exactly 1=1

...Just because..I have inner beauty does not mean I would fall for inner beauty of a female...Her looks should be absolutely great...BUT then I won't care for her Bank Balance either Only Looks BUT now Females are allowed to care for my Bank Balance..That is why I don't have issues with Gold Diggers like most do...Women are allowed to be Gold Diggers just like Men are allowed to choose only beautiful women.

[livefreeordie]

I cold approach quite frequently, maybe a few girls every week when im out and about, with a pretty good 70%+ success rate, which is the inversion of my success in Australia, which is harder and more nerve racking due to the amount of cold reactions. Ive pretty much given up on a lot of western girls, but i find the younger they are, the more receptive they are to me and my approaching

[Voyager1]

A few years ago the apartment I was staying overlooked Khreschatyk Street Kiev I observed what looked like two Italian gentlemen sitting on a bench saying hi to girls as they walked by. They were getting some numbers but I noticed that the girls they were getting numbers from were the kind of girls you'd meet in a bar. I guess they were fed up with the agencies and decided to try the direct approach.

I heard of another case where a guy was fed up with agencies so he took his interpreter to one of the suburbs of Kyiv outside a metro station. He would say to his interpreter approach that one and invite her to a café. One in three would say they were married or had a boyfriend. One in three would reject him but the other third would accept his offer and meet him for a coffee. Can't say how successful he was in finding his match.

[jamesbond]

I heard of another case where a guy was fed up with agencies so he took his interpreter to one of the suburbs of Kyiv outside a metro station. He would say to his interpreter approach that one and invite her to a café. One in three would say they were married or had a boyfriend. One in three would reject him but the other third would accept his offer and meet him for a coffee. Can't say how successful he was in finding his match.

That's a 33% success rate which is pretty dam good (compared to the success rate of cold approaching women in the US).

[jamesbond]

Try cold approaching the women of LA.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBiR2rKU69U[/youtube]