Social circles needed when wanting to get a date

[drronnie]

In Europe you actually need to have friends, especially female friends if you want to be able to strike a conversation with a stranger female. I have never really understood why men who have no to little interaction with women come across as creepy. Somebody explained to me that a man without a female friend or girlfriend is like a tomato can with a dent which women will leave on the shelf eventhough he may seem as a nice decent person.

[gsjackson]

I've seldom had any problem striking up a conversation with women I don't know in Europe, and that includes several European countries. A little bit of guardedness among Prague women, who have seen more than their share off British lager louts and boorish Americans. You must be thinking of the U.S., where such encounters have to be mediated either by someone who can attest you aren't a serial killer or a suitable phone app.

[Zambales]

Nice analogy about the tomato can. Can't say I disagree.

I think a lot of women tend to pursue a man if he's already in a relationship which I've never really understood seeing there's no logic to it. At the same time, these types will be quick to lambast a guy if he cheats on them. Spot the irony!

[Pinayhunter]

Same with America. You need to be where p***y is while giving off the impression you're there for reasons completely unrelated to p***y. Then hope that over time you "grow on" one of them.

[chanta76]

Its called preselection in the pick up community. It means if some girls like there has to be reason why and other girls will like you. I think this is only in the western culture. I dont see this in the eastern culture.

[drronnie]

Nice analogy about the tomato can. Can't say I disagree.

I think a lot of women tend to pursue a man if he's already in a relationship which I've never really understood seeing there's no logic to it. At the same time, these types will be quick to lambast a guy if he cheats on them. Spot the irony!

maybe women have sort of a herd mentality. When a man has female friends or a girl friend that is the label the he is approved by other women. Men on the other judge people on a personal basis and not based on whether other people approve him or not.

[fightforlove]

Nice analogy about the tomato can. Can't say I disagree.

I think a lot of women tend to pursue a man if he's already in a relationship which I've never really understood seeing there's no logic to it. At the same time, these types will be quick to lambast a guy if he cheats on them. Spot the irony!

maybe women have sort of a herd mentality. When a man has female friends or a girl friend that is the label the he is approved by other women. Men on the other judge people on a personal basis and not based on whether other people approve him or not.

You've nailed it. Almost every female I've known has a herd instinct to a certain degree, some more than others. Study Social Proof. There are various ways in various settings that you can do this to get a woman approving/attracted to you.

[Adama]

It simply means that you're a man. You've been prequalified by another woman. That's all it means. It means there must be something worthy about you if you have a girl on your arm. That way she doesn't even have to do all the legwork herself. The other woman has already done it for her.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, and I don't think it is anything to complain about if you know enough about women to use it for your advantage (and if you have the courage to follow through). I will say nothing more on this.

As for needing to have female friends in Europe, that was never my experience. In fact (and perhaps unfortunately), I think Northern Europe is an excellent place to go for a man who is a loner. It is safe, you can often strike up conversations with strangers, and the women don't usually have that chip on their shoulder the way American women do.

The problem is your perspective. You have a false belief. Therefore everything else you experience gets filtered with the wrong lens, which further diminishes your confidence and leads to more false conclusions.

Things are not nearly as bad as you've convinced yourself they must be. Mostly I think these are psychological blockages rather than real ones.

[jamesbond]

In America you need to have friends that can introduce you to women. Not so in European countries or in South America or the Philippines. Just ask Winston, he cold approached hundreds of girls in America and didn't get anywhere. He then went to Russia, Ukraine, Poland and the Philippines and in those countries, cold approaching girls actually worked.

In the USA you need to rely on your friends in order to meet women. I think it's because the women in the US are paranoid of men and need to make sure the guy they are meeting is not a serial killer.

[IraqVet2003]

In America you need to have friends that can introduce you to women. Not so in European countries or in South America or the Philippines. Just ask Winston, he cold approached hundreds of girls in America and didn't get anywhere. He then went to Russia, Ukraine, Poland and the Philippines and in those countries, cold approaching girls actually worked.

In the USA you need to rely on your friends in order to meet women. I think it's because the women in the US are paranoid of men and need to make sure the guy they are meeting is not a serial killer.

Jamesbond, both you and Winston are right!!! The American social and dating scene is far to restrictive. And if you have a few or no real friends at all you are completely out of luck!!! Such a person would then be considered a "hermit", "lone wolf", and a "looser" who is often treated like a leaper. In fact American society is so fragmented and very busy these days many people have turned to online dating sites in order to find a possible new mate/spouse. However, most of the people on those sites happen to be MEN looking for women who themselves are not the best catch (overweight, too old/past their prime SMV, single mothers, etc.) Not to mention, many of these same women as well as the much sought after career/professional ones have those crazy high standards for men but don't require it of themselves. But also Jamesbond, I see a lot of parallels between the U.S. social/dating scene and the job market (such as the need to network to find work).

[MattHanson1990]

In America you need to have friends that can introduce you to women. Not so in European countries or in South America or the Philippines. Just ask Winston, he cold approached hundreds of girls in America and didn't get anywhere. He then went to Russia, Ukraine, Poland and the Philippines and in those countries, cold approaching girls actually worked.

In the USA you need to rely on your friends in order to meet women. I think it's because the women in the US are paranoid of men and need to make sure the guy they are meeting is not a serial killer.

Jamesbond, both you and Winston are right!!! The American social and dating scene is far to restrictive. And if you have a few or no real friends at all you are completely out of luck!!! Such a person would then be considered a "hermit", "lone wolf", and a "looser" who is often treated like a leaper. In fact American society is so fragmented and very busy these days many people have turned to online dating sites in order to find a possible new mate/spouse. However, most of the people on those sites happen to be MEN looking for women who themselves are not the best catch (overweight, too old/past their prime SMV, single mothers, etc.) Not to mention, many of these same women as well as the much sought after career/professional ones have those crazy high standards for men but don't require it of themselves. But also Jamesbond, I see a lot of parallels between the U.S. social/dating scene and the job market (such as the need to network to find work).

But even if you have connections, women still blow you off if you're not her type. Same goes with jobs; even with connections, companies won't hire you if you don't have enough experience or if you've been out of work for more than 6 months.

[NorthAmericanguy]

In Europe you actually need to have friends, especially female friends if you want to be able to strike a conversation with a stranger female. I have never really understood why men who have no to little interaction with women come across as creepy. Somebody explained to me that a man without a female friend or girlfriend is like a tomato can with a dent which women will leave on the shelf eventhough he may seem as a nice decent person.

Think of it this way. If you're in the market to buy a home and you were looking for a real estate agent who would you trust and most likely take a chance with? Your friend who put you in contact with his real estate agent, or some random real estate agent who you don't know.

It's the same concept with women. Women trust their friends, so if they meet a guy through their friends he has more credibility then some random guy off the street.

[GoingAwol]

The U.S used to be a matchmaker culture. My mom, my dad, my aunts/uncles, grandparents etc were all introduced to their partners by family members or close friends. What happened to that societal norm? Nowadays, nobody even bothers to try to help their single family members or friends.

[MattHanson1990]

The U.S used to be a matchmaker culture. My mom, my dad, my aunts/uncles, grandparents etc were all introduced to their partners by family members or close friends. What happened to that societal norm? Nowadays, nobody even bothers to try to help their single family members or friends.

These days, single guys are given useless clichés like "You'll find someone some day."

[Adama]

The U.S used to be a matchmaker culture. My mom, my dad, my aunts/uncles, grandparents etc were all introduced to their partners by family members or close friends. What happened to that societal norm? Nowadays, nobody even bothers to try to help their single family members or friends.

You can't cause then you'd feel guilty when the person you introduced your loved one to turns out to be a beast. The culture changed and women are no longer women. You can't just introduce two people. You never know what someone is like anymore. Chances are not so good.