The change in the "scene" after 35

[miss_conduct]

A friend of mine once said that the dating/mating scene changes after about 35. One guy called it the "mid thirties power flip" He said that women seem to have the power in their 20s and early 30s, but somewhere after 35 there is a shift and men start to gain this power. My friend points out that the women who have guys falling all over them when they are young, who get the well-placed guy as a mate and the "good life" in the suburbs, replete with the 2.5 kids, dog, fancy house, swimming pool, minivan, etc....well karma is a bitch for them if their husbands get fed up and leave them, they pass the age of 35 and have lost some of their appeal, and guys are not fawning over them like they used to.

Plus I have heard that women peak sexually past the age of 35 and many women in their late thirties-early forties desperatley want children, the latter may possibly be a stereotype but then again it is well publicized in the media.

Ergo...to the guys who never got a second look in high school or college, wait til about 35-40 rolls around, these women who wouldn't give you the time of day, probably will be all over you now! Is this true for anybody in thie age group on this board?

[Free]

Not for me personally, but yes, several people I know, or have known, in that age bracket fit exactly what you described!
That's very interesting.

Women depend so much on their appearances, which in all humans, eventually dwindle from their peaks. Yet men and the attraction to them, is known to be for status, power, confidence, etc. Which of course can last well past dwindling looks.

Before opening the thread, I thought it might be a discussion / article of how after 35 there is less hope for single men, but seeing this other light, there can actually be more hope.

Some have said the dating scene gets really tough after the 20's as there is less schooling and general partying for example, which there is some truth to, but the flipside for hope does seem to lie in that reversal as you mentioned.

So for the long time single 20-somethings out there, heading into your 30's, hang on. Between seeking other lands, and this concept mentioned here, you could well be making up for long lost times.
This obviously is not a magic pill for those who are majorly deformed, but in general, there's truth to this. Something to think about.

[Jackal]

Eh, that's a idea, Ms. Conduct, but I think it's much sweeter revenge to avoid those women entirely and to go overseas and date women who are a decade younger. In less feminist cultures, it's more accepted for men to date much younger women.

Also, if I had to bang a 40-year-old woman, I would much prefer an Eastern European woman of that age because they tend to remain in much better shape than American women.

I'm not even 30 and sometimes I'll see a woman from behind here and think, "Wow, what a great ass!" but then I'll see her face later and see that she's much older than I thought. I think it must be something about the genetics over here.

[Linc4Love]

Maybe it's me, but I'm failing to see the how turning 35 and now enjoying an ample dating pool of shriveled up old hags past their sexual prime, divorced and with kids is supposed to be a power flip for men?

So either date 35-40 year old hag beasts here, or date much younger and more agreeable women overseas. Gee, tough decision.

[Rock]

This was one of my major points of contention with that Steve Hocca guy. He seemed to think middle aged average looking American women were able to find many interested guys who are much younger and better looking than they are since even these guys are desperate. He also argued that women these days get a lot of cosmetic surgery so they can delay the aging process.

I don't live in the States or spend much time there. But I would also have thought the sexual power balance tends to shift in men's favor after 35-40. From what I've seen, women who've done a lot of cosmetic surgery tend to look done and unnatural, not younger and more attractive. Men have thicker skin and on average age better. Even those white women who are lucky enough to hold onto a semblance of their looks into 40s, get absolutely ravaged when menopause kicks-in towards the end of that decade. With men, hormonal aging is a much more gradual process.

There are very few attractive female starts in their 40s and beyond but lots who look like train wrecks in spite of their cosmetic procedures. Check-out the newest "Sex and the City" flick or take a look at un-touched photos of Madonna to see what I mean. Even Angelina Jolie in "Salt", only in her mid 30s, looks very aged and haggard. The only possible exception which comes to mind is Christie Brinkley who is mid-50s now.

Sure, most of us, men and women alike, tend to loose sexual market value as we age. But since average Joes in the States hardly have any perceived sexual market value in their prime, they have little to loose. The top tier of young women absolutely crash when aging kicks-in. And to compound their misery, sometimes these hotties, especially if they've clocked a lot of beach time, wear down a lot faster than some their plain Jane peers. So not only do women fall fast a group with time, but the internal pecking-order can change dramatically. High school reunions can be very sobering for many a former prom queen.

HONEST SINCERE ADVICE TO GUYS AMERICA - DON'T DATE COUGARS, GET YOUR ASS UP OUTTA THERE

SELFISH ADVICE TO GUYS IN AMERICA - STAY PUT, ENJOY THE SCRAPS AMERICAN WOMANHOOD IS WILLING TO GIVE YOU + PLUS THE FREE BAGGAGE

[Jackal]

HONEST SINCERE ADVICE TO GUYS AMERICA - DON'T DATE COUGARS, GET YOUR ASS UP OUTTA THERE

I agree, but please don't use the term "cougar." It's an invention of the feminist American media and an insult to the real animal.

Look, here's a real cougar. He doesn't deserve to have old bags associated with him!

[miss_conduct]

Linc4love...What I was saying is that once 35+ happens and the women who rejected you when you are younger now are interested...you can have the glorious moment of gloating and getting to reject them this time....in other words sweet revenge...Then when they see you with a cute foreign girl on your arm you really get to gloat

[Linc4Love]

Linc4love...What I was saying is that once 35+ happens and the women who rejected you when you are younger now are interested...you can have the glorious moment of gloating and getting to reject them this time....in other words sweet revenge...Then when they see you with a cute foreign girl on your arm you really get to gloat

I think I like you.

My own experience says this powerflip may be bittersweet until I actually do find a girl.

I'm debt free with a solid job, two incomes that gives me a considerable amount of money to play with, no kids and no baggage. I still can't attract the attention of anyone who isn't old enough to get senior citizen discounts yet. But the single moms, good God, they actually terrify me.

What I've noticed though is that rather than grovel, they try to guilt induce you into dating them. See if I were a REAAAAAL man, then I wouldn't shy away from dating a single mom. Real men don't need the love and affection of a women, and would be perfectly willing to sacrifice their income, time and energy for kids that aren't theirs and for a wife who has no desire to reciprocate any of the affection you give to her. That's what REAL men do.

And If I choose to reject that I am a selfish piglike piggish pig little boy who only lives for himself and because of that I deserve to be alone forever and ever and ever!!!11

I'm not only told this by women but by a bunch of men too. Men who look down on me because I won't dare consider dating someone with kids. It's enough to make one feel like a black man in 1950s Alabama.

I think a lot of it is grounded in jealousy and envy, but it's hard to wash all the venomous hatred off.

[Repatriate]

It doesn't matter how hot she is but once she comes equipped with another man's kids that's a sure fire deal breaker for me at least. It has nothing to do with being "man" enough but not wanting to pay for some other person's mistake. The kid could be perfectly fine but that sort of situation may screw you over in the long run if you have multiple mouths to feed.

[Waterboy]

I am 30 years old and I have noticed that I get much more attention from women compare to my early 20s. But these women are mostly divorced/single mothers type, not to mention heavy (overweight). So nothing to brag about. They are ok for short-term relationship but not long term. I don't want to buy another guy's (other guys') used underwear, therefore I don't want to settle with these women.
In my late teens/early 20s, I was like Skeptic (the guy who posts here). My family kept telling me that I need to go to back to the old country to find a wife, but I told them that I wanted an American wife. I watched american movies, Beverly hill 90210 etc., and I was like I want an American wife like that. They all (women in movies) talked about women's emotional needs and how men were not meeting their emotional demands. I was like, I will be the guy who will be different and will meet their emotional demands. But at that time in my real life, I could not even attract the most obese American woman.
I suddenly had an awakening 2-3 years ago and stopped caring about AW. The irony is that the day that I stopped caring, I also slowly started attracting AW. I was like what??? I just became less emotionally available and women are starting to pay attention to me. That is the time when I discovered PUA (I never paid any money for it except buying a 20$ book), and similar sites like this. I have since been in a few short-term relationships with AW.
Miss-conduct: I don't think we should get pleasure from rejecting women because it will make us bitter. Instead, we should think about things to improve our lives.

I hope no one feels that I am criticizing your country (America). I now consider US my home too. I think the immigrant women who have spent many years here are mostly the same as AW.

[momopi]

In the mind of a cougar...