Slow Death Through Loneliness

[Ghost]

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[yick]

This is worth addressing, so I'm glad you brought it up. I am lazy with my studies, and even when I would have stretches of studying regularly I didn't make much progress.

I am really interested in this, so please don't take this as a passive aggressive stance off me. I just want to know how long have you been studying Chinese and what is the longest 'stretch' you have committed to learning the language? It isn't as easy language and it does take years but you will make progress if you stick with it.

I'm not willing to drop any money on a uni course for it. It's just principle.

What principle is that then? You are too tight fisted to spend some money on something in which you will reap great value.

I can't what principle you have when you have already spent tens of thousands within the American education system - the world's greatest rip off in academia. Whereas learning Chinese at a Chinese university is one of the greatest value for money within academia.

I shouldn't have to, so I won't.

Why shouldn't you?

You are in China, where they speak mostly Mandarin Chinese. Or do you expect them all to speak English, or is it their responsibility that they should help you with your Chinese studies, I don't get your last two points. Maybe you can clarify them a bit better.

That said, I do need a teacher, and I have a "date" with a cute Chinese girl soon for language exchange. I've suggested to her it could be a regular thing, and she seemed to like the idea. Hopefully she won't flake.

Wahey - English language teacher thinks you can learn language from girlfriends.

Girlfriends help, but with Chinese, you can't just 'pick it up' you need some formal classes - preferably from a qualified teacher.

All your 'language exchange partner' is going to do is show her delectable little panties and you are going to switch to free English lessons pretty damn quickly.

There are a lot of virgins in China, this is true. I've spent nearly two cumulative years in China and what I've realized is that I don't fit well with the culture and don't understand the people or women. Many have been kind to me and I have friends here, but romantically it doesn't fit for me. Chinese girls can be very hard to read and even outright strange. Crossing the language barrier helps of course but there are still fundamental things I would never "get." I like how smart, beautiful, and classy Chinese women can be but romantically I just don't think I fit with them.

Two years is the minimum for me of the amount of time you have to spend in which to get comfortable with the culture, does it matter if you fit in well with the culture or not? if you don't fit into the culture you were born in, then that isn't the problem, the answer is to accept you are an outsider here and take what you can from it. I know I am an outsider here, who cares? Better than being back home.

Also, women are women. I recently discovered that a guy I know had married Chinese women f**k him. Several. And that kind of thing makes me paranoid, especially with women who hide things really well. These women would probably never initiate a divorce or otherwise break up their families because of face. But commit adultery in secret? That's fine as long as you don't cause loss of face. Something to carefully consider for anyone interested in Asian women.

But a lot of married Chinese men f**k whores, have young girls on the side (depending how much money they have) live away permanently from their wives etc etc. I hope no-one told you a lie that outside of America, women are faithful? Who told you that, who said that there are a nation of people where infidelity isn't a problem?

Look man, if you can't be arsed learning the language and you are too cheap to pay for a quality course where you need to take out a year so you can reap the benefits later on then fine but own up to it and stop blaming the country and the culture because you can't be bothered to put some spade work into making shit happen. You could have a quality Chinese girlfriend within a year or two - have your actual pick - but because you won't do any elementary spadework then it is never going to happen.

That Filipina you want to marry - is her culture compatible with yours? What happens when she wants you to sponsor her family when you get hitched, share and share alike is part of their culture, you might put your foot down and say 'no' but that is going to cause problems down the line. Do you go to church? Are you a Catholic? Are you going to OK with nephews, nieces etc coming to the states to study there and you let them stay at your house etc etc.

The problem with a lot of gentlemen who move away from the matrix is that they don't want to be told they are a product of the matrix that all the good things from the matrix are in fact good, and are disappointed when they turn up on foreign shores that they need to do their own groundwork into making it all happen.

You need to learn the language. There are millions of Chinese women who are virgins and would love to get to know you, but you need to speak their language, you are in China.

At least MattHanson1990 is learning Spanish - there isn't an excuse for you, you don't have one.

[droid]

@yick
fantastic posts, that's the tough love he needs now

But a lot of married Chinese men f**k whores, have young girls on the side (depending how much money they have) live away permanently from their wives etc etc. I hope no-one told you a lie that outside of America, women are faithful? Who told you that, who said that there are a nation of people where infidelity isn't a problem?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgNJ11A7LBY[/youtube]

[yick]

@yick
fantastic posts, that's the tough love he needs now

But a lot of married Chinese men f**k whores, have young girls on the side (depending how much money they have) live away permanently from their wives etc etc. I hope no-one told you a lie that outside of America, women are faithful? Who told you that, who said that there are a nation of people where infidelity isn't a problem?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgNJ11A7LBY[/youtube]

Thanks Droid!

It amazes me that people think you can date in China without learning Chinese. I don't know what people expect when they land here

There was a post about the blogger 'Serpentza' and women approach him on the street (he is something of a local celebrity where he lives in Shenzhen) but the fact is he is about to marry a beautiful Chinese woman who is a doctor, and his last wife (who was Hong Kong Chinese) was a PR girl who was up there in the terms of beauty.

But Seprentza speaks Chinese - the facts are, there are quality women here like doctors, lawyers, financers and whatnot who are more than interested in dating foreigners.

But it is never going to be like the MattHanson1990 wet dream of stepping off the plane and being a God - where the f**k is this place? Nowhere I have ever been to - well, except for Moscow in 1999 - and that was because I looked like some telenovela star who was a pin up all over Russia - it probably wouldn't be like that now.

If you are reading this, then I am about to state the 'Happier Abroad' manifesto, and I am going to start the first four rules off.

1) Get an education and a degree
2) Pick a place
3) Learn the language of a the said place - even if takes years - you are making progress by the day
4) Build a routine - go to restaraunts, shops, the gym, places where you can partake in hobbies.

And the woman will follow.

If you want to be treated like a god, then act like one, then get into shape, learn the language, dress well.

It took me two years to get acclimatized to China, you don't step off a plane and the next day x country falls into place, there is a lot of purgatory to go through before you feel comfortable.

Last but not least, most women won't fancy you wherever you go, but you will have a chance with a beautiful local woman if you do the above - even in the Czech republic - where there are drunk Brits, mongers and Rooshites everywhere.

[Winston]

Ghost,
If you want to learn Chinese quickly and easily with little effort, download the Pimsleur courses in Mandarin. They are mp3 files that you can put on your phone. I've done that and it's super easy to learn Chinese from them. You just listen and repeat everyday, and replay them over and over again and eventually your subconscious mind learns it all for you by itself! They teach you the language the way a 5 year old learns a language by conversing with their peers in school, so it all comes naturally.

Pimsleur is popular and comes in many levels. I just put level 1 on my phone and listen to it everyday, even when I'm outside or taking a walk or doing errands or driving in the car. Even if I don't memorize every word, it all goes into my subconscious mind so it gets easier each time I replay it because my subconscious mind recalls it better each time. You only need to put in a little effort repeating the dictation. But even that is quite easy and doesn't require not much effort or memorization at all. You can even do it while in the shower or trying to fall asleep.

If you can't afford to buy it online or in a store near you, you can download it on torrent sites. Here is a link to its torrent, which contains a complete course with Levels 1 to 3 and transcripts. You need a torrent client to download it though, like http://www.utorrent.com

https://thepiratebay.org/torrent/631265 ... ranscripts

This version below is a quick start with introductory lessons. It contains the first 8 lessons from Level 1 in the above torrent. If you download the above, there's no need to download this one. But if you just want a quick sample to try out, you can try out these.

https://thepiratebay.org/torrent/564976 ... CDs_-_MP3)

Note that Pimsleur language learning CD's are available for all other major foreign languages too, not just Chinese.

Here is some info about Pimsleur Chinese from the manufacturer's website:

http://www.pimsleur.com/learn-chinese-m ... 0671790615
http://www.pimsleur.com/learn-chinese-mandarin

"Why Pimsleur?

- Quick + Easy – Only 30 minutes a day.
- Portable + Flexible – Core lessons can be done anytime, anywhere, and easily fit into your busy life.
- Proven Method – Works when other methods fail.
- Self-Paced – Go fast or go slow – it’s up to you.
- Based in Science – Developed using proven research on memory and learning.
- Cost-effective – Less expensive than classes or immersion, and features all native speakers.
- Genius – Triggers your brain’s natural aptitude to learn.
- Works for everyone – Recommended for ages 13 and above."

[Adama]

given my record with murphys law and bad luck and curses in my love life. Even when i find my soulmate, the universe conspires to break us up. Ive seen it happen and there definitely is some force thats against me, whether you believe it or not. Ive seen it, felt it and experienced it. There are definitely unseen forces in this world, which me and probably most people have experienced.

I've also experienced unseen forces. There are some things which I have been prevented from doing with women no matter how determined I was to achieve it. There's one time my friend and his other two friends were tag teaming a girl all night long. I was asleep the entire night and they never thought to wake me up. I woke up and caught them in the act and she saw me. After that though, she treated me as unworthy of her, despite having already serviced the three men I was hanging out with. She also had a boyfriend she was cheating on. (This was a white girl too. Exactly 18 years old, real blond, very cute, nice body, sweet personality, no indicator she was a total whore.)

Unseen forces. I know those.

You mean some girl that you can your friends met was banging your friends all night, but not you? lol. That's happened to me before too. It simply means she's not attracted to you, but she's attracted to them. What does that have to do with unseen forces? Unseen forces is like when you see or sense a hidden hand at work, using selective coincidences that are unusual, to try to ruin your plans or block you. Or when you see things and patterns that randomness and confirmation bias can't explain.

Well I consider it to be blockage. I have never participated in a gang bang or a train. Have you? I am grateful though. Looking back, that would have been something which I would regret having done today. And my friend, I can't even talk to him about God. He's 1000% atheist. Maybe this explains why.

[MattHanson1990]

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[Ghost]

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[Ghost]

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[yick]

Because there are something like 700 million women in the country you are now in, you don't have to go anywhere else to find the woman you want - educated virgin who will make a good wife.

And Chinese women are not from planet zorg, they are women - pleasant, ladylike and feminine. I'll tell you a story, I was coming out of the supermarket just last week and there were three women in their late twenties/early thirties around the bottom of the escalator, all employees of the store, one was handing out leaflets, one was helping shoppers lift their trollies up on coming off the escalator and the last one was a mate who was shooting the breeze with them - they were all very nice looking and young.

So I am about to get off the escalator and I give them a cheery 'Ni Hao' and a massive smile and they all say 'Ni Hao' back and I took one of the leaflets off the lady handing them out telling her I can read Chinese and that got them giggling again - so I exit the store to put away my shopping trolley and look behind me at the window - and who are gawping at me from the inside, the three ladies who were checking out my arse. So I blew them all a kiss and a wave and they all start waving back to me laughing away.

Chinese women are just women like they are in the Philippines, I have been here for five years, you cannot tell me this isn't the case. Winston will tell you the same - China is a great place for meeting great women - now, I am sure the Philippines are also, but you aren't there.

When told about learning Chinese, you came out with some pearlers like...

I'm not willing to drop any money on a uni course for it. It's just principle.

and

I shouldn't have to, so I won't.

We still don't know what it means, but it is just convenient that Filipinas speak English - great go and get one then - make a plan (like the South Africans say) and make it happen, but don't blame China or be under the misconception that China owes you anything. China is a great place to meet a great woman, this needs to be said because the last thing anyone wants is for someone to read this and mentally cross China off their list.

So the reality is Ghost, that you are just being overly emotional and a bit princessy when you come out with headings such as

Slow Death Through Loneliness

Bollox -

If you learn Chinese you will find a great girl and a virgin to boot.

If you get your arse to the Philippines - you will find a woman. Make it happen, its your job - if you settle on something you don't want... well, it just proves my general point.

[Banano]

Chinese women are as easy as filipina to get in bed??


700 million of women means nothing when you have 800 million horny and desperate men. Your chances are better in a small village of 20 women and 10 men. Ratio:p
In amarica theres 100 mil women and yet most guys are masturbating or settling for low quality women

[yick]

No, Chinese women aren't particulary easy to bed - which is what the OP wants - he wants a virgin, so he is in the right place.

700 million of women means nothing when you have 800 million horny and desperate men

You can tell you have never ever set foot in this country. That and your mathematical equations are very basic and not aligned with the state of play here.

Most Chinese men are not in the stakes of getting married, due to the fact that a lot of them cannot afford a house for their prospective spouse, if you take away all the poorly paid manual workers, farm labourers and rural dwellers - that evens it up a lot.

Secondly, though most Chinese women would not be seen dead on the arm of a westerner, however, a good 30% (my estimate) of Chinese women are certainly interested in Westerners - which means there are more women who you are able to date than you can personally handle, basically - you have something like hundreds of millions of women to choose from.

That means, Ghost has a lot of choice - if he wants it.

If he doesn't want it - fine, go to the Philippines - but what isn't happening is a slow death through loneliness.

It is just laziness, entitlement and procrastination that is stopping him getting what he wants.

Don't blame China, its women or their culture. That is ridiculous.

[Ghost]

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[yick]

I also would like a deeper connection. There's a cultural disconnect with Chinese.

Well, isn't there a 'cultural disconnection' with your own culture - the one you grew up in? You are going to have to stop making this about 'cultural incompatibility' because it has nothing to do with it, you would just stay in the states if that was the be all and end all, isn't the point of escaping 'The Matrix' is that you can grow in a different culture, you have only been here two years, these things don't happen overnight.

And look, I've gotten a lot of attention too from Chinese women.

Which is different from...

I can count the number of times I detected a Chinese girl having some interest in me.

- It is one or the other, sport.

Chinese women are just women like they are in the Philippines



Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

The basics are correct, which is all you need to care about, which is - there is a percentage of Chinese women who are interested in you, and a percentage of Filipinas who are interested in you.

There's no interpretation - I shouldn't have to do it, so I'm not going to do it. Or if you're too stupid to understand that, then simplify it to 'I'm not going to do it.'

I am stupid because I have called you out on your lack of logic and you have no answers.

White American men - white American women - two peas from the same f***ing pod.

Whiny, self-obsessed and entitled - that's all you are, a product of the matrix you escaped from, right to the very core of your spine.

Oh, well, maybe I should change it to "No problem here guys, everything is really f***ing dandy."

No, how about being proactive - how about - I don't know 'Marcos, Will N. Dowd, Publicduene, Winston, Davewe etc' I want a Filipina virgin, how do I make this work like you all have.

None of them are astronauts, they are normal guys who have made it happen, ask them, this is what this place is here for right?

Making it happen" is a modern day myth perpetuated by the cult of positive thinking. It isn't reality based. Human beings can be capable of great feats, but so much is out of our control and hanging by a thread. Of course one does what one can.

There is a difference between me wanting to win an Olympic medal and if I go outside my house, measure out 100 metres and run up and down it until I get it down to 10 seconds, I might have a chance (ie: none) and going to the Philippines and finding a wife.

One would be impossible to achieve, one isn't it at all, in face, there are a fair few posters on this very site who have done what you have wanted to do.

[Ghost]

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