Who pays for the girl when YOU ask her out?

[Voyager1]

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=12342&p=273827#p273827

[nomadphilippines]

dont even need to click it... your the one that is paying :p

[Voyager1]

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[Voyager1]

It seems to me that in all cultures it's the guy who is pursuing the lady and not the other way around. So if the guy is pursuing her and he invites her out does he expect her to pay for herself? We are not talking about friends going out for a beer. We are talking about a man expressing a romantic interest in the opposite sex. Even if they are on the same level financially there is an unwritten law that the gentleman always pays. I have dated in the west and we have gone dutch but usually that's only on her insistence. More often than not, even in the west the lady will allow the gentleman to pick up the check when it comes time to pay. As I said if she offers or insists I am not going to stop her. In that case we'll go dutch. I've had a few instances when the girl has picked up the entire check (usually with a company credit card). It's not usual but it does happen.

To me if you say from the offset we're going 50/50 on everything you're setting yourself up for failure. She will see you as not generous, a tightwad and cheap. She may not want to go out with you again.

[droid]

It seems to me that in all cultures it's the guy who is pursuing the lady and not the other way around. So if the guy is pursuing her and he invites her out does he expect to pay for herself? We are not talking about friends going out for a beer. We are talking about a man expressing a romantic interest in the opposite sex. Even if they are on the same level financially there is an unwritten law that the gentleman always pays. I have dated in the west and we have gone dutch but usually that's only on her insistence. More often than not, even in the west the lady will allow the gentleman to pick up the check when it comes time to pay. As I said if she offers or insists I am not going to stop her. In that case we'll go dutch. I've had a few instances when the girl has picked up the entire check (usually with a company credit card). It's not usual but it does happen.

To me if you say from the offset we're going 50/50 on everything you're setting yourself up for failure. She will see you as not generous, a tightwad and cheap. She may not want to go out with you again.

The natural thing is that men keep the lights on and women get themselves pretty and fertile and empathetic. I don't think one of the genders 'pursues' and the other 'chooses', both do it but in their own ways.
So yeah I pay most of the time, although it's nice when girls do it, it's not the money but the gesture of course.

Interestingly some of these girls in vn can make just U$5 bucks a day in Starbucks or what not, and they will still treat you once in a while, even though proportionately it's quite a bit of money for them. They can be real nice, if they make more they treat you more.

I'm comfortable paying 85-95% percent of time. Of course it depends on what kind of value you're getting, so you gauge her behavior so as not to be a sucker either.

[Zambales]

If for example we have a round of three drinks on a first date, I'd expect her to pay for one of them. If she doesn't, it doesn't look favourable on her in my opinion and a second date will be most likely non-existent.

[nomadphilippines]

If for example we have a round of three drinks on a first date, I'd expect her to pay for one of them. If she doesn't, it doesn't look favourable on her in my opinion and a second date will be most likely non-existent.

on the same note i bet the girl is thinking it doesnt look favorable on you when you ask her to pay for one of them :p

[Zambales]

If for example we have a round of three drinks on a first date, I'd expect her to pay for one of them. If she doesn't, it doesn't look favourable on her in my opinion and a second date will be most likely non-existent.

on the same note i bet the girl is thinking it doesnt look favorable on you when you ask her to pay for one of them :p

You miss understood. I've never hinted or asked a woman to buy a round of drinks but I did expect them to do it on their own accord if I've bought the last two. It shows to me that they've got an element of decency and are not just a freeloader. First impressions and all that.

[Kradmelder]

I used to always pay everything when I took women out. I was brought up like that. But the world my parents grew up in no longer exists. Women are no longer creatures that will contribute in other ways, like looking after the home for you. These days they are self absorbed, lazy, have no domestic skills and little interest in supporting you except as a means to get them stuff. They see their only contribution as providing sex.

I no longer pay because I no longer ask them out. I do not want to listen to their deceitful self absorbed bs all evening at my expense. I just pomp them. Since that can only be done behind closed doors, why ask them out? Those that want to be wined and dined as a whore's payment for sex, please look elsewhere.

[MrMan]

Kradmelder,

The trick is to find a woman who doesn't fit that description. Instead of looking at women who want to be fed as 'whores', you could consider women who are willing to have sex outside of marriage as whores. Which prostitute is lower class? One who charges $2000 a pop or one who charges $1? By those standards, what are the girls who do it for free?

That standard can apply to men. A fornicator is a fornicator whether or not he/she gets paid.

[MrMan]

Kradmelder,

The trick is to find a woman who doesn't fit that description. Instead of looking at women who want to be fed as 'whores', you could consider women who are willing to have sex outside of marriage as whores. Which prostitute is lower class? One who charges $2000 a pop or one who charges $1? By those standards, what are the girls who do it for free?

That standard can apply to men. A fornicator is a fornicator whether or not he/she gets paid.

[MrMan]

In Indonesia, the ettiquette is if you ask someone out to dinner, you pay, either that or you invite the individual to somewhere where the food is provided (e.g. a relatives wedding.) You don't ask someone out and expect them to pay. It makes sense.

I explained to an Indonesian co-worker going to the US for grad school that if someone wants to pay in the US, that person may say, "I'm buying" or "my treat." But if a group of college students go out, they may each pay for their own.

Of course, Indonesian women are expected to do womanly stuff like cook and keep the house clean. I hear Jakarta women aren't as good as their mothers are. My experience with women out of the city is like that, the women in my wife's tribe. One of her cousins was saying with us, a girl in her 20's. I was trying to make some Mac and cheese in the kitchen when my wife was away taking care of an emergency with her family. She was sick, but stood there uneasy at me cooking. She didn't like to see a man working in the kitchen, and at the least she could stand there and try to help.

There are lots of girls like that in the world who still think women are supposed to cook, clean, sweep, mop, and change the diapers.

[Kradmelder]

Kradmelder,

The trick is to find a woman who doesn't fit that description. Instead of looking at women who want to be fed as 'whores', you could consider women who are willing to have sex outside of marriage as whores. Which prostitute is lower class? One who charges $2000 a pop or one who charges $1? By those standards, what are the girls who do it for free?

That standard can apply to men. A fornicator is a fornicator whether or not he/she gets paid.

I guess I have become a fornicator. Women have made me that way. I never used to have sex outside relationships. Then I realised the relationshit was the means for them to get paid and live off me. With the mother of your kids it is one thing as she contributes to raising kids. With girlfriends it is quite another. They are leeches taking away from your kids.

[Russian1860]

I no longer pay because I no longer ask them out. I do not want to listen to their deceitful self absorbed bs all evening at my expense. I just pomp them. Since that can only be done behind closed doors, why ask them out? Those that want to be wined and dined as a whore's payment for sex, please look elsewhere.

I am just curious, do you want your son to become like you? Or your daughter to be treated like that?
It is personal question, you are not obliged to reply.

[nomadphilippines]

Kradmelder,

The trick is to find a woman who doesn't fit that description. Instead of looking at women who want to be fed as 'whores', you could consider women who are willing to have sex outside of marriage as whores. Which prostitute is lower class? One who charges $2000 a pop or one who charges $1? By those standards, what are the girls who do it for free?

That standard can apply to men. A fornicator is a fornicator whether or not he/she gets paid.

somewhere like the philippines i almost feel like the whores are higher class, or at least higher class than the 'can i borrow' girls