My ostracism in Oz

[DaRick]

Greetings, fellow aspiring (and accomplished) travelers.

My name is Rick and I would like to channel my current frustration by writing out this unnecessarily long essay on my experiences in Australia. As you might've guessed, they've generally been negative - especially with regards to meeting decent women.

First of all, I was born in 1989 in a small country town - moved to Brisbane in 1993 and since then have generally undergone all sorts of frustration and abuse - emotional, verbal, psychological and sometimes even physical. So as you can understand, whilst I support Australian sports teams, it is quite difficult for me to think highly of my experiences here. My family has been wonderful, but I've had far too many failures here and too few success stories - which is why the idea of travelling, living overseas or at least finding a decent human being from overseas that I can be proud to call my wife seems appealing to me. As it stands, I have no real genetic stake in this society and have nothing to forward to ahead here but days of drudgery at some job I'll eventually tire of, whilst being expected to support a veritable crowd of ne'er do wells (more on this later), with material goods as my only 'reward'. Most hilariously, I've been told by many that this is something I should look forward to - just for the 'privilege' of earning my own money! That seems to be a very typical Anglo attitude (FTR, I'm only part-Anglo and was raised with values quite different to the typical Australian's). It has always struck me as strange that Anglo's generally enjoy or at least tolerate working for said material goods - if you have to fill your heart with toys, then there is something wrong. Well, Australians are generally renowned for their athletic prowess and their love of the outdoors. Sadly, I've been reminded all too often of my ineptitude at sports in general, whilst I've never really been cut out for the outdoors.

Basically, all I have to look forward to are work and toys. I will work to support myself (as I must), but as I've found out already, hard work does not necessarily bring the desired rewards. Just as often, ineptitude will if the boss happens to like you. I don't see earning money as a privilege and only do so because I have to, not for some perverse thrill.

I don't know whether the non-Australian guys here have heard about Australia's (mis)adventures at Galipoli or the Somme, but those battles, costly though they were, supposedly epitomised the traditional Australian values of mateship and courage under fire. Unfortunately, I think that those traits have been marginalised. I believe that Australian culture has become little more than American culture with a few superficial Australian icons (like Akubra hats and kangaroos) and what little of Aboriginal culture has permeated Australia's collective conscience. Backstabbing prevails and most friendships fall apart from lack of contact - the onus has fallen on me to try to maintain them with my own friends from high school (which makes me question my character, but never mind).

I also have Asperger's Syndrome, which has affected my experiences, usually for the worse. I am almost certain that I would've been abused less and that my life in general would be less frustrating had it not been for AS. I've never been able to fulfill my potential here, for some reason (though I have been close to doing so at times and I have often tried my heart out for little gain). AS brings with it a list of ailments - poor social skills, lousy gross motor skills, self-esteem issues, societal transience (in many cases) and a lack of understanding and empathy from most others. If it had not been for my family's love and support, this condition would have led to me killing myself (not that I haven't already tried, albeit half-heartedly).

Now to speak about the main cause of my frustration with this country - Australian women.

The majority are simply Anglobitches. Basically, they're almost as bad as American women in my book. I know that they are less psychotic and slightly less paranoid (although still reluctant to talk in many cases), but that's hardly cause for praise. Here is why:

1) Unpredictable - friendly one day, cold as ice the next
2) Bigoted - will dismiss you for being 'weird', even if you are polite and courteous
3) Elitist - If they have a reason to, they will talk down to you - for being not as intelligent or simply not as well off
4) Exploitative - you're only valuable if you can be used for something - which is remarkably sociopathic thinking, come to think of it
5) Shallow - generally, I have to start and carry conversations with them - they never approach you off-hand and never have anything to talk about at all
6) Rude - might slap you if you say something they don't like or coldly blow you off (see unpredictable)
7) Confusing - will often stare at you, but that's not necessarily a sign that they like you (has happened to me many times)
8 ) Materialistic - they love their cars and their mobile phones!
9) Selfish - enough to make already horribly flawed individuals like myself resemble Mother Teresa
10) Anti-family - abortion is an issue - they also disdain guys who are close to their families (like myself)

In the broadest sense, they like sociopathic delinquent types (i.e - ne'er do wells), swaggering plutocrats (as Rookh Kshatriya put it) and big, muscular jock-type blokes for relationships. I am reasonably tall (at least 183cm or 6 ft) and reasonably well built, but I fit none of those categories, plus I'm 'weird'. I do get stared at, though (see above).

At times in the past, their rejection of me has made me feel inadequate and has led to me questioning my own character. This was reinforced by most people around me, due to Anglo cultures tending to instinctively defend women. It is only recently that I've realised that it is not entirely my fault that I've missed the chance for relationships with these women - although some would argue that I've not missed much at all and I think I agree. Still, this realisation has aroused mixed feelings, because I still feel annoyed that it has to be this way. Anglo feminism (the most pernicious of all) has f***ed up so many lives.

Note that I am talking about Anglo-Saxon/Anglo-Celtic women who were raised in Australia. I'm NOT talking about the Chinese girls that I've encountered (who've generally been much nicer to me and actually treated me like a human being), nor the Australian-accented Asian girls raised in non-Anglo cultures like my own. They alone have compelled me to look overseas for a decent woman if I ever have the opportunity - demographics are very much against me here as it stands.

I also appreciate that there are exceptions to the above, as there are anywhere. I'm talking about the majority of the Anglo women I've encountered.

Well, sorry for my elongated whinge, but I had to get that off my chest. It's good to be here.

UPDATE (26/10/2011): I've changed my mind on Australian-accented Chinese girls after encountering non-Anglo girls frequently both online and in person. Next to actual FW, Australian-raised Chinese (or Australian-raised girls of foreign descent generally) don't seem much different from Anglo-Celtic types. Certainly, they too often seem to like similar guys, only said guys seem more submissive and less sociopathic. They still come off as insecure over-compensators though (quite a few jock types hide their insecurities under their physiques).

[jamesbond]

Welcome DaRick, were glad you found our forum. You certainly have had some interesting life experiences. Traveling abroad will lead to more interesting life experiences I am sure.

[DaRick]

Welcome DaRick, were glad you found our forum. You certainly have had some interesting life experiences. Traveling abroad will lead to more interesting life experiences I am sure.

Thanks, mate.

It's ironic that you say that, really. I don't consider myself or my life to be all that interesting relative to some others (at least not in a positive sense). My family rarely has the funds to travel (did go to Malaysia twice as a child, but I was too young to fully appreciate it), although I would like to. My tendency not to consume will no doubt help me to save some money.

[Winston]

Welcome DaRick,
I didn't know Australian women were like that. But compared to California women, I'm sure they are a breath of fresh air?

The Aussie girls I've met were usually backpackers and very friendly, far friendlier than American girls. Also more down to earth, natural, sociable and adventurous.

They told me that travel is big in Aussie culture, hence so many backpackers, and that the hostel scene rocks there. So I got the impression that it was very open minded.

What about New Zealand? The women might be strong and independent, but they are into spiritual things and non-materialistic at least.

Fortunately, you are closer to Asia and could fly there easily.

It's interesting that the Chinese girls are friendly there and not snobby or cliquish. They must be to choose to go there.

[DaRick]

Welcome DaRick,
I didn't know Australian women were like that. But compared to California women, I'm sure they are a breath of fresh air?

Thanks mate. Well, given that California is probably the worst place on Earth to try to meet decent women (so everyone's said), I guess so. But that doesn't mean that I can recommend them. They're just less psychotic and a bit less paranoid. Aside from that, I'd say that they're nigh-on identical to US women.

Remember, AUS is part of the Anglosphere and the women in those countries are among the planet's worst.

The Aussie girls I've met were usually backpackers and very friendly, far friendlier than American girls. Also more down to earth, natural, sociable and adventurous. They told me that travel is big in Aussie culture, hence so many backpackers, and that the hostel scene rocks there. So I got the impression that it was very open minded.

Yeah OK, but you have to be a certain type of person to be a backpacker. Given how many Australians love the outdoors (not me, however), there would probably be more AUS backpackers to US backpackers per head. You're also right about how Australian girls love to travel, though that unfortunately doesn't make them better human beings.

Besides, there are exceptions to every rule - even in America, awful though it undeniably is. I'm speaking for the majority of Anglo-AUS women that I've encountered here.

What about New Zealand? The women might be strong and independent, but they are into spiritual things and non-materialistic at least.

I've not been to NZ, but I've heard nothing but bad things about the women there. I also highly doubt that the women in NZ are non-materialistic. As a rule, Anglos tend to be quite materialistic and money-loving. The only reason why I'm the exception to said rule is probably because I was not really raised as a typical Australian boy (more akin to a Malaysian boy). I also don't think like one.

I know that religion =\ spirituality, but the more atheists or nominally religious people there are, the less spiritual a country is likely to be. Owing to the Maoris, I do believe that NZ is more spiritual than Australia (which has always been far more secular than America). However, I'd say that it'd be nothing compared to Malaysia (where Catholics at least, are more enthusiastic about their faith of God).

The last woman (non-family) who actually cared for me actually had a NZ accent - although it transpired that she was born in New South Wales, but was raised in Thailand - which probably goes some way towards explaining why she treated me like a human being. She was insulated from Anglo culture, so she didn't transform into a completely mediocre individual (or at least mediocre enough to make someone like me look good ).

Fortunately, you are closer to Asia and could fly there easily.

Yes, thankfully. Australians are a little luckier than Americans in this regard.

It's interesting that the Chinese girls are friendly there and not snobby or cliquish. They must be to choose to go there.

Well, they are a little cliquish (tend to stick with other Chinese), but they're still happy to speak to me or initiate conversations when the situation calls for it - and there's no way in hell that I look like an Asian (much more European than Asian, actually). Compared to the Anglo-AUS girls, they don't come off as snobby or elitist, not at all.

AUS girls are even more cliquish, IMO. To associate with them without feeling as unwanted as a Khmer Rouge membership, you either have to be an Anglo girl (Chinese girls don't seem to associate with them) or a specific type of guy, which I've already gone through above.

[ladislav]

I was in Oz 4 years ago and women there helped me with bags to get on the train in Sydney. Twice! Once a guy even helped me with bags.

Also, I noticed they were skinnier and better dressed than US women and did not have a fake smile. Also, people did seem a bit friendlier. A Chinese girl stared and
smiled at me on a subway- in America, no way. Korean store owners were polite- an oxymoron? In the US grim Korean faces behind bullet proof glass are the norm.

[Jackal]

Hi DaRick,

You seem to like Malaysia and you're half Malaysian: So why don't you move to Malaysia?

I imagine that something must be stopping you, but you didn't mention it.

I wonder if you'd be successful in Hawaii, since you're an Asian with an Aussie accent.

[DaRick]

I was in Oz 4 years ago and women there helped me with bags to get on the train in Sydney. Twice! Once a guy even helped me with bags.

That isn't done in America? Wow. The place must be even crappier than I envisioned.

Also, I noticed they were skinnier and better dressed than US women and did not have a fake smile. Also, people did seem a bit friendlier. A Chinese girl stared and
smiled at me on a subway- in America, no way. Korean store owners were polite- an oxymoron? In the US grim Korean faces behind bullet proof glass are the norm.

Well, they use fake smiles less, but generally, I find that Anglo women's smiles are merely polite. They might also stare at you blankly.

Also, I find that the Anglo women, even if they seem friendly upon first meeting, turn as cold as ice the next time they see you for no reason, as if you're not worthy of their attention.

Chinese girls will generally remain friendly towards you if they know you, or at least cordial. But I've been through the cultural differences before. Put simply, if they're Anglo or raised in Anglo culture, they're infinitely more likely to be hostile over the longer term, or just plain mediocre human beings.

[DaRick]

Hi DaRick,

You seem to like Malaysia and you're half Malaysian: So why don't you move to Malaysia?

Easier said than done, mate. Malaysia doesn't recognise dual nationality. Of course, while things are much, much cheaper in Malaysia (and whilst I have family there), I still have to complete my studies and save enough money before I even contemplate it.

I imagine that something must be stopping you, but you didn't mention it.

Didn't I? Well, there's money of course - we rarely have it due to spending on obligations and such (also fixing up the house). Then there are my studies to get through and such. I will also miss my immediate family, but that's less of an issue when you have nothing else to tie you to your country - and I can't live at home forever (currently at uni). If I could, I definitely would. I'm not that much into toys and only wish to work to survive, not for some perverse privilege.

I wonder if you'd be successful in Hawaii, since you're an Asian with an Aussie accent.

Not quite.

My mother is a Eurasian who is of Franco-Dutch stock, mostly. My father is Anglo-French. As such, I have white skin and a combination of French and British facial features (roman nose, etc). Nobody outside of my family would recognise me as a half-Malaysian. Even fellow Malaysians are shocked when they hear this.

Problem is, I don't think like a typical Anglo, due to culture and overall mentality.

[travel_man]

Rick:

is your view of Aussie women shared by other Aussie men there? Can you talk freely with other men there about this?

There are tons of web forums out there that address the poor quality of American women. I'm just wondering if there are similar web forums that you know of that specifically address this problem of Aus. women, and feminism in Australian society?

[DaRick]

Rick:

is your view of Aussie women shared by other Aussie men there? Can you talk freely with other men there about this?

Good question. Even if some Anglo guys dislike Anglo girls, they're very reluctant to admit it, especially if they're my age (around 21 or so). For example, when I publicly called the Anglo girls who attended our socials back at school 'bitches and sluts' (because they were), only one or two guys supported me at all in that assertion (and even then, only when nobody else was around). Older guys are more likely to, but even then they tend to restrict their criticism to postings on Australian news web sites (like the Brisbane Courier-Mail, for example).

Also, the guys who might dislike Anglo girls appear to be outweighed (far outweighed when it comes to guys my age) by guys who won't hear a bad word against them. They'll defend them to the ends of the earth - even risking friendships with guys they've known for several years to do so. They'll do so regardless of how idiotic or manipulative these girls are. So put simply, criticising Anglo girls in front of others is often akin to drinking a baby's blood. This especially applies if you tell this to Anglo girls, but you probably figured that out already.

The only exception might be if you are talking to guys with Asperger's Syndrome - these types of guys will criticise them publicly if the subject comes up.

There are tons of web forums out there that address the poor quality of American women. I'm just wondering if there are similar web forums that you know of that specifically address this problem of Aus. women, and feminism in Australian society?

Specifically? roughneckjase on Happy Bachelors does, Christian J on various sites might, there's a blog called 'Aussie Sluts' (though not updated very often), but nothing near the coverage received by American women (who are even worse than AUS women, IMO).

[Winston]

I was in Oz 4 years ago and women there helped me with bags to get on the train in Sydney. Twice! Once a guy even helped me with bags.

That isn't done in America? Wow. The place must be even crappier than I envisioned.

If you spent time in America, you might appreciate Aussie girls. The UK guys who complain about their girls also haven't spent enough time dating in America to know how good they have it.

[DaRick]

I was in Oz 4 years ago and women there helped me with bags to get on the train in Sydney. Twice! Once a guy even helped me with bags.

That isn't done in America? Wow. The place must be even crappier than I envisioned.

If you spent time in America, you might appreciate Aussie girls. The UK guys who complain about their girls also haven't spent enough time dating in America to know how good they have it.

No, I won't ever 'appreciate' (culturally) Australian girls because there's generally not much to appreciate. I know that American women are the lowest of the low, but that doesn't mean that Australian girls are any good. Not at all. Compost on top of the heap still smells, after all.

I would also not delude myself into thinking that British girls are any good. Better than American girls, yes, but they're still comfortably the worst in Europe and around as crappy as Australian girls, as the likes of Rookh Kshatriya and Duncan Idaho will tell you.

[Qbert123]

Hi DaRick

I hear what you're saying, though I probably don't understand what it's like with A.S., or whether it really has that much relevance in the dating sphere. I'm a first-generation New Zealander with a European background, and our family moved to Brisbane from Auckland a few years ago. I can certainly empathise with some of your experiences, but I don't necessary agree on everything.
My general impression after moving from Auckland to Brisbane was that the women here are slightly more confident and extroverted, but the difference is far from black and white, it's more like pink versus peach.

Brisbane women seem a little more approachable, but still extremely guarded. You made some sweeping statements, so I'll and narrow things down to make sense of it:

1) Unpredictable - friendly one day, cold as ice the next
7) Confusing - will often stare at you, but that's not necessarily a sign that they like you (has happened to me many times)

These traits are surely universal among women. They're like cats: you can pat them and they'll purr in delight, and suddenly they'll scratch you and hiss for no apparent reason. I think it's the hormones or something. Married guys everywhere will tell you that just need to roll with the waves, and try to stay out of harm's way. A few women aren't like that but they're usually Lesbian, Bi, Queer, or somewhere in between.

4) Exploitative - you're only valuable if you can be used for something - which is remarkably sociopathic thinking, come to think of it
5) Shallow - generally, I have to start and carry conversations with them - they never approach you off-hand and never have anything to talk about at all
6) Rude - might slap you if you say something they don't like or coldly blow you off (see unpredictable)
8 ) Materialistic - they love their cars and their mobile phones! Laughing
9) Selfish - enough to make already horribly flawed individuals like myself resemble Mother Teresa
10) Anti-family - abortion is an issue - they also disdain guys who are close to their families (like myself)

I agree, these ones seem like common problems in this culture. With some things it's a matter of degree. For instance, people can only really be materialistic if they have enough cash-flow to maintain their habits. But also there is no philosophy taught at schools, so they simply don't know any (secular) alternatives to a materialistic way of thinking.

2) Bigoted - will dismiss you for being 'weird', even if you are polite and courteous
3) Elitist - If they have a reason to, they will talk down to you - for being not as intelligent or simply not as well off

One thing you need to remember is that many women have crap social skills too, and they try to compensate in various ways. One obvious way is to rely on guys to do all the work, another is to behave very awkwardly.

Well, they use fake smiles less, but generally, I find that Anglo women's smiles are merely polite. They might also stare at you blankly.

Blank stares are a popular technique women use to perve at guys while pretending to be daydreaming or thinking about something else. But if you try to act upon what you see, they will deny everything. This ties in with the apparent elitism - many young women seem to have a complete lack of confidence in themselves. I see you're from '89. It gets better with time - a lot of girls in Australia take a LONG time to grow up, and by the time they are 27~29, they are all looking to get married to someone resembling a young version of their father.

Bye for now

[Winston]

Hi QBert. Are you a big fan of that 80's game "QBert"? lol. That game was pretty fun for its time.