Why people get offended when you describe the type of woman

[mattyman]

Hi all,

I'm sure a lot of you would love to meet a woman who's both pretty, non-overweight, easy-to-talk to and easy-going, and is not a single mum right? Sounds very, very reasonable. Perhaps you're feeling depressed that all the lovely women you've met who fit that bill have all been taken. This sets of the alarm in the back o you r mind, 'what if all women like this are taken, what if there's none left'. It makes you very, very uncomfortable, scared even. The thing is, if I express this on many other forums, I get hostile responses, such as the accusation of being entitled, being told 'why would anyone like that want someone like you' etc.. This post is not about lamenting that but exploring the reasons those sorts of responses. I think I've sussed it.

If such criticisms do come, they' re most likely born out of either
a)from women; being offended for not fitting the bill I'm describing, and the fear that other guys will be looking for similar, or
b)from guys; for fear of disapproval for not sticking up for those who are offended. Even for guys who feel the same, they would rather join in on attacking the messenger because they fear disapproval and judgement if they don’t. Just like people who join in with the bully, even if they disagree with it, they fear being picked-on themselves if they don't. They're not born out of a desire to help that's for sure. I know I've identified the truth, the reasons behind such behaviour.

[Zambales]

Hi all,

I'm sure a lot of you would love to meet a woman who's both pretty, non-overweight, easy-to-talk to and easy-going, and is not a single mum right? Sounds very, very reasonable. Perhaps you're feeling depressed that all the lovely women you've met who fit that bill have all been taken. This sets of the alarm in the back o you r mind, 'what if all women like this are taken, what if there's none left'. It makes you very, very uncomfortable, scared even. The thing is, if I express this on many other forums, I get hostile responses, such as the accusation of being entitled, being told 'why would anyone like that want someone like you' etc.. This post is not about lamenting that but exploring the reasons those sorts of responses. I think I've sussed it.

If such criticisms do come, they' re most likely born out of either
a)from women; being offended for not fitting the bill I'm describing, and the fear that other guys will be looking for similar, or
b)from guys; for fear of disapproval for not sticking up for those who are offended. Even for guys who feel the same, they would rather join in on attacking the messenger because they fear disapproval and judgement if they don’t. Just like people who join in with the bully, even if they disagree with it, they fear being picked-on themselves if they don't. They're not born out of a desire to help that's for sure. I know I've identified the truth, the reasons behind such behaviour.

Never go on a forum infested with women and mention what you stated in your first sentence. I've seen guys torn to shreds for less - by women and butt licking mangina's alike. The amount of vitriol directed at these unfortunate individuals seeking advice really sums western women up.

What perplexes me most of all is if a guy innocently mentions dating foreign females. The blood thirsty pack behave like he's cheating on them. It's his choice, his preference and his life and what he does is no business of anyone else's. It's entitlement on their behalf and equates to bizarre behaviour seeing they don't know him or have never met him.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

As men, we are seen as second class citizens by women. How dare we have preferences when we should just be happy with whatever woman chooses us?

The state a preference for a woman disempowers women who do not fit our preference. They therefore react with indignation and commence to shaming us back into line.

Black men are the least worthy to utter such a preference when we should accept whatever we are presented with. Black women are moved to near violence when they learn they are not my type. I have had women shudder with disgust when I stated that a woman was too old, too fat, too black, too this or too that. I was getting too uppity as a black man who should just accept what I am supposed to accept by conventional wisdom.

These days I understand that women are addlebrained idiots who are governed by their feelings, nothing more. If you offend their sensibilities or feelings, expect to feel their wrath.

[Adama]

The blood thirsty pack. It's entitlement on their behalf and equates to bizarre behaviour seeing they don't know him or have never met him.

The bloodthirsty are murderers of the heart. Entitlement because their egos and hearts have been exalted to the heavens, to godhood. They are filled with pride, and then, they will proceed to murder you, as if they claim the throne of God to condemn you for the transgression of their law, through shaming.

They therefore react with indignation and commence to shaming us back into line.

And shaming is murder of the soul. It is condemnation. It is saying you have no rights. It says you are unworthy, and your worth is based upon what we assign to you, not what you are as a person. This is playing God with their tongues. Their "righteous" indignation and wrath.


You'll appreciate this story. My first real job this girl was hitting on me pretty hard. She was 19 years old. She wasn't very attractive, but she was making moves on me everyday. After I finally accepted her advances she quickly reneged, and then she and her friends began to make fun of me (as unworthy of her). After this, these older women, who were in competition with this young woman, were trying desperately to get me to say yes to them too. The thing is, the young woman was young and unmarried. While this woman was over 40 and married. Of course I wasn't going to hit on her.

So this older woman in her 40s figures in order to get me to hit on her, so she can compete with the girl 20years younger than her, she's going to try to destroy my self esteem, by telling me "other people" are saying that I'm not attractive enough for young, slender women, because I'm not in good shape either. She was trying to destroy my soul, just so I would lower my standards. Just so she could get her attention fix and go bragging to that young girl that she was just as hot as her.

They don't want men to think they are worth anything. As far as EVIL women are concerned, your worth is what they say it is: that is you are only worth them lifting up their heel onto you to crush you, for their amusement.

Most of these people are going to totenreiches though. They're practicing spiritual wickedness and working iniquity. Just hurting people FOR THEIR PRIDE AND EGOs.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

And shaming is murder of the soul. It is condemnation. It is saying you have no rights. It says you are unworthy, and your worth is based upon what we assign to you, not what you are as a person. This is playing God with their tongues. Their "righteous" indignation and wrath.


You'll appreciate this story. My first real job this girl was hitting on me pretty hard. She was 19 years old. She wasn't very attractive, but she was making moves on me everyday. After I finally accepted her advances she quickly reneged, and then she and her friends began to make fun of me (as unworthy of her). After this, these older women, who were in competition with this young woman, were trying desperately to get me to say yes to them too. The thing is, the young woman was young and unmarried. While this woman was over 40 and married. Of course I wasn't going to hit on her.

So this older woman in her 40s figures in order to get me to hit on her, so she can compete with the girl 20years younger than her, she's going to try to destroy my self esteem, by telling me "other people" are saying that I'm not attractive enough for young, slender women, because I'm not in good shape either. She was trying to destroy my soul, just so I would lower my standards. Just so she could get her attention fix and go bragging to that young girl that she was just as hot as her.

They don't want men to think they are worth anything. As far as EVIL women are concerned, your worth is what they say it is: that is you are only worth them lifting up their heel onto you to crush you, for their amusement.

Most of these people are going to totenreiches though. They're practicing spiritual wickedness and working iniquity. Just hurting people FOR THEIR PRIDE AND EGOs.

This is one of those RARE occasions where we agree.

American women, black ones especially, have a tendency to try to break you down a few notches as a flirtation strategy. A married, horrid-looking woman originally from Africa was attention whoring with me a few years back. She did not realize I found her repulsive, but when she recognized I was not interested in her, she attempted to criticize my physique, my looks, my appearance which most women are quite please with.

The strategy is designed make men think they are not as attractive as they think so they might as well go for the lower quality woman offering it up while they still can.

Attractive men are always a threat to go for hotter women so it is in women's nature to prompt men to think they do not deserve any better than those women themselves.

It is the same with younger women. Older women know instinctively that they cannot compete with young women so they invented the "dirty old man" myth. Old men are still men and if they can pull young girls, so be it and congrats to them.

I sincerely think American women (and many other Western women) are toxic and predatory and behavior like this is proof.

[MrMan]

If a woman asks you your type, and you say you like young-looking thin women who have a certain personality, she asked, and you told her what you thought. But if you tell a woman she isn't your type because she's too fat and ugly, it may be true, but you don't have to tell her that. You don't have to tell a woman your opinion about another woman's looks either. We don't like our looks criticized. They don't like their criticized.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

If a woman asks you your type, and you say you like young-looking thin women who have a certain personality, she asked, that's her right. But if you tell a woman she isn't your type because she's too fat and ugly, it may be true, but you don't have to tell her that. You don't have to tell a woman your opinion about another woman's looks either. We don't like our looks criticized. They don't like their criticized.

In my experience, many women WANT to know and outright ask why they are not a particular man's type. When that happens, it is quite fine to tell the woman what you like and what you don't. I personally just repeat "You're just not my type."

If they cannot take that some men don't find them attractive, they need to grow the heck up.

[MrMan]

In my experience, many women WANT to know and outright ask why they are not a particular man's type. When that happens, it is quite fine to tell the woman what you like and what you don't. I personally just repeat "You're just not my type."

If they cannot take that some men don't find them attractive, they need to grow the heck up.

I haven't had that conversation since high school, not with someone I hadn't ever dated. A friend of a girl who liked me asked me why I passed up on an offer to date her. I said she wasn't my type. She told me it was because her friends was fat, and acted upset about it (maybe twice my size.) I declined to comment. There is nothing to be gained from that. They both knew she was fat. I was asked why I declined a hooker once when I unknowingly stayed at the wrong kind of motel backpacking during a week off in Indonesia. And there was that rather aggressive mental ill stalker who targeted me, who wanted to know why I wasn't interested. Okay, maybe I've experienced it, but not much from normal women with an average amount of self-respect.

I am married, so this keeps me from these types of conversations. I'd think that would be quite embarrassing for a woman to pursue a man like that, and then to ask why she was rejected. If they were close friends and she wanted him to explain why he didn't take it to the next level, I could see that.

Is this more common in African-American, where the woman pursues you, and if you say 'no', then she wants to know why?

[Adama]

And shaming is murder of the soul. It is condemnation. It is saying you have no rights. It says you are unworthy, and your worth is based upon what we assign to you, not what you are as a person. This is playing God with their tongues. Their "righteous" indignation and wrath.


You'll appreciate this story. My first real job this girl was hitting on me pretty hard. She was 19 years old. She wasn't very attractive, but she was making moves on me everyday. After I finally accepted her advances she quickly reneged, and then she and her friends began to make fun of me (as unworthy of her). After this, these older women, who were in competition with this young woman, were trying desperately to get me to say yes to them too. The thing is, the young woman was young and unmarried. While this woman was over 40 and married. Of course I wasn't going to hit on her.

So this older woman in her 40s figures in order to get me to hit on her, so she can compete with the girl 20years younger than her, she's going to try to destroy my self esteem, by telling me "other people" are saying that I'm not attractive enough for young, slender women, because I'm not in good shape either. She was trying to destroy my soul, just so I would lower my standards. Just so she could get her attention fix and go bragging to that young girl that she was just as hot as her.

They don't want men to think they are worth anything. As far as EVIL women are concerned, your worth is what they say it is: that is you are only worth them lifting up their heel onto you to crush you, for their amusement.

Most of these people are going to totenreiches though. They're practicing spiritual wickedness and working iniquity. Just hurting people FOR THEIR PRIDE AND EGOs.

This is one of those RARE occasions where we agree.

American women, black ones especially, have a tendency to try to break you down a few notches as a flirtation strategy. A married, horrid-looking woman originally from Africa was attention whoring with me a few years back. She did not realize I found her repulsive, but when she recognized I was not interested in her, she attempted to criticize my physique, my looks, my appearance which most women are quite please with.

The strategy is designed make men think they are not as attractive as they think so they might as well go for the lower quality woman offering it up while they still can.

Attractive men are always a threat to go for hotter women so it is in women's nature to prompt men to think they do not deserve any better than those women themselves.

It is the same with younger women. Older women know instinctively that they cannot compete with young women so they invented the "dirty old man" myth. Old men are still men and if they can pull young girls, so be it and congrats to them.

I sincerely think American women (and many other Western women) are toxic and predatory and behavior like this is proof.

It's not just black women. I've had Indian, German and white American women pull these tricks on me.

I've had different races try similar tricks on me. And it seems to me that for many women, their primary goal for evil is through one or two ways: to decimate your self esteem through rejection and shaming, or to decimate your reputation to insure that other women she knows automatically reject you. They will work diligently to destroy you with false information. Or they will take something that's different about you but that is still within the normal range of variation but rare, and it doesn't even have to be a bad thing, but they will turn it into the most despicable, reprehensible characteristic, to the point where, if you believed them, you would think that you are worthy of death. They really want to destroy you as a man from the core; inside out, in the depths of the soul and heart.

But what these women (naturally brute beasts made to be taken and destroyed) don't know is, because they've lifted up their hearts to the vanity of destruction for the pleasure and glory of their egos (self-worship), they are working iniquity and violating the commandment to DO NO MURDER. Slander is murder. Causing sorrow intentionally is murder. Trying to take someone's self esteem to the grave is murder.

These people are without a doubt the children of Satan, and their activity is from the deaths of totenreiches and sheol.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Is this more common in African-American, where the woman pursues you, and if you say 'no', then she wants to know why?

Yes, it is more common with African-American women. But they only want to know why so they can try to convince you that your thinking is wrong. For example:

Her - Why am I not your type?
Me - I tend to go for very thin women.
Her - Thin women? Why in the world would you like thin women? They are not more attractive; that's stupid. I bet you like white women too!
Me - As a matter of fact, I do.
Her - That is wrong on so many levels, bla, bla, bla.

So their tactic is to rationalize why your preference is wrong. It tends to work on younger guys only, never on men with boundaries and who know what they like and don't like.

But in fairness to black women, white American women from a lower socioeconomic stratum tend to do the same. It is guilt tripping men into liking them since we are lesser beings who should not even have a choice.

[MrMan]

One of my girls is in middle school, to young to date if you ask me. They know the policy is no dating until they are all grown up and old enough to get married. Western culture is just so messed up in that regard.

There was a boy she heard that liked her. In class picture, he was looking down at her from the row behind where he was standing.

She started talking about how displeased she was that this boy liked her. I told her to be careful how to talk to her like this. I reminded her that he had feelings, etc.

Some women like to shame men for not being 'real men.' Some men do the same. Something unfeminine I see in a lot of women is a lack of compassion and a lack of caring about men's feelings.

I read where you had an interest in a pretty girl sitting with her friends in Central Park. When I was dating, I wouldn't just go 'pick up' a girlfriend on the street. I wanted to screen them before approaching them. If she's not a Christian, she was not in the consideration set for dating. I could see how three women sitting there could be a target for you for evangelism, but I am curious, would you date a girl who isn't a Christian yet? I had to know before dating was an option, so I didn't date a lot or go around picking up women. I dated an immigrant in Korea who was interested in going to church when she found out where the English service I went to was. I dated a girl I met at church. I met my wife on a Christian campus. That was generally the trend for me. Do girls you meet at church shoot you down and talk about you to other women like that?

I heard of one guy who went to a church where he could not find a woman he was interested in. So he started visiting other churches during mid-week services looking for a wife. If you meet Koreans and Japanese pastors, you could ask if there are any eligable single women in their church. I met a man who was in his 50's, I think, who got matched up with a single woman in her 40's after asking a Korean pastor. I have also heard of a Korean pastor applying a bit of social pressure on a couple to get married. But some Asians tease about that if you are dating and the rules are a bit different.

[mattyman]

Thanks for all the replies guys.

Although the topic has diverged onto interesting tangents, what I wanted to bring up was getting behind the way people behave or react the way they do. It's always good to slow down and consider the reasons why they behave the way they do before reacting. That's what I wanted to get through with the OP.

[MrMan]

Contrarian Expat,

That doesn't make sense to me. You couldn't talk me into being attracted to a body type I find unappealing. Maybe these young men they convince are fornicators realize how desparate the women are, and rationalize that they could put up with it briefly for some sex with the light off if they don't commit to anything too serious.

I also get why black women are upset about black men liking white girls. It is hard for black women to find husbands, at least husbands who meet certain criteria. Black men go for white women, I think, at a higher rate than white men go for black women.

If African-American women were known to keep their bodies slim, and for having a kind, gentle, submissive attitude toward their men, there might attract more white men, and black men, too.

[Adama]

Is this more common in African-American, where the woman pursues you, and if you say 'no', then she wants to know why?

Yes, it is more common with African-American women. But they only want to know why so they can try to convince you that your thinking is wrong. For example:

Her - Why am I not your type?
Me - I tend to go for very thin women.
Her - Thin women? Why in the world would you like thin women? They are not more attractive; that's stupid. I bet you like white women too!
Me - As a matter of fact, I do.
Her - That is wrong on so many levels, bla, bla, bla.

So their tactic is to rationalize why your preference is wrong. It tends to work on younger guys only, never on men with boundaries and who know what they like and don't like.

But in fairness to black women, white American women from a lower socioeconomic stratum tend to do the same. It is guilt tripping men into liking them since we are lesser beings who should not even have a choice.

I've also had women who were overweight and older pull the converse trick on me. Instead of them trying to convince me that I wasn't all that, they would try to convince me that most women aren't all that attractive period. So I should just give up on finding an attractive woman.

Another one they like to pull is by saying that all attractive women are conceited and mean. But I have not found attractive women to be anywhere remotely as cruel as the lesser attractive. Part of the reason they have to pull these tricks is because they know their value isn't as great as the attractive woman's. So they resort to evil and spiritual wickedness to give them glory, rather than holding onto righteousness, mercy and peace.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Contrarian Expat,

That doesn't make sense to me. You couldn't talk me into being attracted to a body type I find unappealing. Maybe these young men they convince are fornicators realize how desparate the women are, and rationalize that they could put up with it briefly for some sex with the light off if they don't commit to anything too serious.

I also get why black women are upset about black men liking white girls. It is hard for black women to find husbands, at least husbands who meet certain criteria. Black men go for white women, I think, at a higher rate than white men go for black women.

If African-American women were known to keep their bodies slim, and for having a kind, gentle, submissive attitude toward their men, there might attract more white men, and black men, too.

Now that I think about it, older white women often try to talk me into being attracted to older women because I couldn't possibly have anything of common interest with younger women. Some of them get quite angry that I date women half my age or younger.

This type of behavior is called Female Derogation and all women do it to some extent as a strategy.