The OT is about topping up your chances with a hot girl with hard cash...and I am the one without romantic experience.Contrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑August 27th, 2018, 3:26 amI don't say this to demean you, but it does not appear that you have much romantic experience with women. No one is talking about "insisting." I have only been called creepy once in my life, and that was from an American woman at work who was angry when she found out I date girls around half my age.
There might be cultures where to say "alright, we kind of like each other, how about you become my gf and I keep you on a nice monthly allowance as a bonus" would indeed work, but in most of the world this is outright creepy.
And no, you wouldn't need to insist...a girl who is up to it would show her interest in the arrangement pretty early. You wouldn't need to ask twice. The problem is where and to whom to ask that first time. You have this idea that a hot girl is bombarded with romantic pursuits 24/7 and it might well be true...but how many of them are of the type you describe? I would imagine that a genuinely wealthy guy would have better ways to woo the girl, like inviting her out and treating her to experiences worth perhaps more of the figure you quote. Then after the relationship has started, the idea of giving her a small allowance for her expenses, so she doesn't have to ask for it every time, might be a natural - if not obvious - step.
I don't see how asking that question straight away to a not-so-materialistic, not-so-desperate girl who is not much into you will result in a successful FWB affair. In fact the opposite might be true: if she already likes you, to be told "have sex with me once a week and I'll pay you $100" so directly may backfire. You may lose her friendship, or respect.
I am not paranoid about the security force but I have seen people being questioned by the Police and even convicted of harassment for a lot less. This, in the supreme Police State that UK has become. I don't say it with joy, of course. Given the current level of paranoia in the liberal/SJ discourse, I don't see how this wouldn't happen in the US, too.Contrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑August 27th, 2018, 3:26 amI am not paranoid about police whatsoever since I don't commit crimes. The fact that you have brought it up a second time means that either you are rationalizing your alienation from attractive women, or you have some unsavory past (or both). Most healthy men like interacting with women on a romantic and sexual level and have no thoughts of police involvement at all. You should work on that.
The same goes with the irrational fear of some pissed off male family member. You should work on that too because it is a fear that deprives you of the full enjoyment of life.
I guess HA has its fair share of people like you, with extreme biases against women, or society in general. You are one of the most odious types IMHO, because you present your ideas as something completely normal and bash anyone who doesn't subscribe to it (maybe a slight majority in here, but the vast majority anywhere else in real life) as an emasculated lowball, or similar.
Well, not that I ever had the intention to try it in the first place, so worry notContrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑August 27th, 2018, 3:26 amIf a girl and I are alone at a cafe or restaurant, I will know her relationship status already and we will have already established some level of rapport. For some reason, you are envisioning walking up to complete strangers and offering sex for money. Since that is the case, you are not at the level of social competence for this EVER to work and you should never try it.
All I was saying is that if you are a decent guy and have established some level of rapport with a good looking girl who has a shroud of grace and dignity and - as you say - you already kind of like each other, then taking that extra step towards a "trial relationship" wouldn't require that cash bonus. Maybe after you are in that relationship, you might assess her financial situation and decide to help her with more or less casual cash handouts.
So in short: either you try it and you'll be called a creep, or you'll be in such a position with your "candidate gf" not to need that cash boost to convince her.
This, on a normal girl in a first-world country. If you are hinting at playing this game in Eastern Europe or certain places in Latin America and Southeast Asia, where $400 a month is a professional's average gross salary, then it's a completely different story.
Thanks for the life coaching mate. Irrational fears...Contrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑August 27th, 2018, 3:26 amAgain, you are consumed with so many irrational fears and worries which tell me a lot about your level of social competence around women. I don't know how old you are, but if you are above 22, you should be beyond those limiting worries and fears about other men who may or may not even exist. Work on that.
OK, so now that you clarified the context, that you're talking about Eastern Europe or Thailand or the Philippines were that $100 goes a lot further, I can see your point, in fact the point of nudging a girl's mind towards a yes with a little bit of advance cash.Contrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑August 27th, 2018, 3:26 amI am not attracted to Latino women generally. There might be the rare gem in terms of looks who appeals to me, but culturally they don't appeal to me at all. Eastern Europe and on occasion Asian only.
Still, by my (limited, unromantic, blah) experience with women, I would always rather woo the girl the normal way and then show my generosity later, if it is ever needed.
Well what I meant is offering the girl a "package" such that she will choose to be with you instead of her former bf. If the context is some Eastern European city and the girl is with a local guy who doesn't give a sh*t and maybe yells at her regularly (or worse), then the dashing foreigner who shells out $100+ a month just for her, might make sense.Contrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑August 27th, 2018, 3:26 amYou are making a little bit more sense here. But remember, women CHOOSE the men they want to be with. No man in this day and age SNATCHES a girl away from a guy.
Yet, all my alarm bells sound at the thought. "How is $100 or $200 gonna make a difference if she already likes you"? Worst case scenario, she might try it out with you and then complain later if you don't give her some cash for her daily needs.
Or is the $200 allowance going to "buy" her acceptance of the fact that you're there just as her FWB and you might have other girls under the same arrangement? In that case, how's that different from sugar daddying? I don't get it.
I am not suggesting anything. You created this topic to propose some cheap alternative to sugar daddying as a viable way to convince a girl who is already half into you, to give you the other half.Contrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑August 27th, 2018, 3:26 amThere is no girl in the world who is worth $4000 a month in any regard (The American Family Courts might disagree). Apart from constantly traveling, I live as a minimalist and without all the extravagances that I could have. So yachts, and caviar, and other luxuries don't appeal to me in the way that it might appeal to some. In fact, these girls usually believe that I am sacrificing to give them a girlfriend allowance which makes it all the more special for them.
What you are suggesting here is high-end sugar daddying for men in their 70s and above who just want to let it all hang out before they die. I'm not quite there yet. Men that age HALF to spend that much or young, hot women. I don't.
Yes, I agree. Even $100 a month is decent money in the Philippines and in Ukraine or Belarus. Poland or Czech Republic...not so much.Contrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑August 27th, 2018, 3:26 amWhy would I not be glad to help her out and make her life easier and better? $100 in her country is the disposable income of a girl of privilege and she loves it and makes it known to me. No man has ever done that for her in her life and she tangibly feels the value of it.
Well, good for you. It looks like you have a budding relationship. Only, are you sure it was exactly the $100 that tipped the scale decidedly towards her being with you? Could it be that you have other qualities on display, that are far worthier than her "gf allowance"?Contrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑August 27th, 2018, 3:26 amAs for her self-esteem, I would say it is too high! She is about 50% Ukrainian, 10% Jewish, 20% Asian, 20% of her country's nationality and stunningly attractive and she is so sick of local men hitting on her that she wants to puke. She hates local men and she enjoys being treated well and with respect of a Western men who speaks to her in Russian. She actually wants to move in with me and start a life together. I'm flattered at that, but I am so keen on merging lives together and starting a family. I enjoy her, she enjoys me and that's the way I like it. I'll see her in two weeks and we'll see how it goes. She is worth far more than $100 a month to me, but if she is happy with that, great!
But one thing to keep in mind is that men should never be afraid of a woman leaving him. That is life and it happens sometimes. There are plenty of young women who can take their place.
Nope, it's not for me, but not because I am not honest. It's because I am. If a girl wants me, she needs to make up her mind based on what value I can put on the table, and by that I mean far more than cash for her daily expenses. There is always time for that kind of arrangement and I am not known to be a frugal or stingy person.Contrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑August 27th, 2018, 3:26 amSuffice it to say Public Duende, the girlfriend allowance is quite likely not for you and that's ok. It is for men who are not afraid of being upfront and honest with women. It is for men who don't pedestalize women. And it is for men who understand that women need men who provide value to their lives outside of the bedroom and a few dates on the town. Truthfully speaking, the more men who aren't willing to provide a girlfriend allowance, all the better for me!
Vice-versa, if I have to put some hard cash on the scale to convince her to "be my gf", you can rest assured that "gf" will only mean reluctant sex maybe once a week, and the boot as soon as she can find a better arrangement.
Quite the opposite of what you think, then: the "girlfriend allowance" is for men who aren't upfront enough, and who are too lazy to work their way to their hearts (or something below LOL) the way a man, any man should.
Having said this, congratulations for your Ukrainian babe: if she wants you, it 's very likely not because of that $100 a month you're giving her.