Are some men running from being responsible?

[Woman'sview]

Let me begin, gentlemen, by saying, we are, first of all, human beings. We did not get to chose our gender. We can only respond to what we DO as a male or female. Being one gender does not make you better than the other. Why do you attack almost every American woman who comes in here? If she states that she is an American Woman you immediately assume she is evil and your enemy. And that may or may not be the case. Some of your responses here shows that some of you care to respond intelligently. My respects to those who do that. Some just react with negative emotions in an irrational way, and at best I sympathize with those, but, most of the time I have to think that you are just dumping on me because I am a woman. If a man posted the same thing I said, you probably would listen rationally and get the benefits of what he has to say. But you assume that what I have to say is wrong based on my gender and my nationality. You are just looking for a punching bag as long as she is an American woman.

Some of the responses were very sensible, and taught me a few things. Some of the responses seem to me like rantings.

Anyway, I hope that you all get the happiness you are looking for and you find true love, if that is what you are searching for. Every man deserves a woman who thinks he is the best thing in the world.

[Adama]

Let me begin, gentlemen, by saying, we are, first of all, human beings. We did not get to chose our gender. We can only respond to what we DO as a male or female. Being one gender does not make you better than the other.

No, but it does mean we have different roles to play in heterosexual relationships. Women will acknowledge this in situations when bills must be paid, or in when there is some courage necessary. Mostly they want men to be old fashioned men in those situations. Yet women don't want to be held to any sort of standard whatsoever. That is, women will not be traditional or be held to equality. They just want to do as they please; no accountability or responsibility.

Sorry, some of us don't like that sort of system in which men are locked into roles yet women don't have any obligations at all.

Hence we are not interested in American women for long term relationshits.

[Truthville]

Woman's View,

With all due respect, seriously!

Woman in the West DUMP on us all the time. We are the cause of everything negative thing that happens in a woman's life. WE as a gender, not as individuals.

IF a man cheats, the cultural bias tells us he is the scum of the earth! IF a woman cheats, it's because her man wasn't or didn't do something or the other. Understand?

IF a man wants a divorce he is a selfish pig! IF a woman wants a divorce, she is a hero! Understand!

Perhaps you should take a look around, take off your "gender" glasses and SEE what most of us are talking about.

Look at the commercials!
Look at the TV Shows!
Watch OPRAH!
Watch Maury!

It gets tiring to be blamed for actions that happened a long time ago which none of us had anything to do with. It's frustrating to be held to some higher "cultural" standard, while women can do no wrong and if they do, it's a man's fault.

All I am doing is playing the "blame game" back at western woman that they have and continue to play with us. A futile effort I know, since most women don't get it, see nothing wrong with it or claim ignorance.

Once women STOP blaming US for their own bad decisions THEN perhaps things will change for the better for both genders. Without at least a common ground of equal consideration from and for both genders, I see the future of Western male/female relationships continuing to get worse. Inequality works both ways, but unsurprisingly, women only seem to see the inequalities when it's on their side.

I have nothing against you personally BUT you really should open your eyes a little and see the world from our view.

TruthVille

[ssjparris]

@ woman's view( my fanny )

I Totally agree with J. Adama here. We have different heterosexual roles to play in a relationship. American women want us to do everything, provide everything, please them for everything. yet If we as men make one mistake THEY do not like. they bark at us for it. that is why i totally quite with american now. or i just say NO. if I do not want to do anything. Yet women here in the USA feel they can do what ever they want without reciprocating. they do not want to be traditional any more. they only want a pet to please them. i say " off with their heads. " that is how i feel. HA.

[Woman'sview]

Woman's View,

With all due respect, seriously!

Woman in the West DUMP on us all the time. We are the cause of everything negative thing that happens in a woman's life. WE as a gender, not as individuals.

IF a man cheats, the cultural bias tells us he is the scum of the earth! IF a woman cheats, it's because her man wasn't or didn't do something or the other. Understand?

IF a man wants a divorce he is a selfish pig! IF a woman wants a divorce, she is a hero! Understand!

Perhaps you should take a look around, take off your "gender" glasses and SEE what most of us are talking about.

Look at the commercials!
Look at the TV Shows!
Watch OPRAH!
Watch Maury!

It gets tiring to be blamed for actions that happened a long time ago which none of us had anything to do with. It's frustrating to be held to some higher "cultural" standard, while women can do no wrong and if they do, it's a man's fault.

All I am doing is playing the "blame game" back at western woman that they have and continue to play with us. A futile effort I know, since most women don't get it, see nothing wrong with it or claim ignorance.

Once women STOP blaming US for their own bad decisions THEN perhaps things will change for the better for both genders. Without at least a common ground of equal consideration from and for both genders, I see the future of Western male/female relationships continuing to get worse. Inequality works both ways, but unsurprisingly, women only seem to see the inequalities when it's on their side.

I have nothing against you personally BUT you really should open your eyes a little and see the world from our view.

TruthVille

Truthville, thanks for the response. Yes, I feel for American men's situation. It is not a fair situation. I know it must wear you down to have all the barrage thrown at you every day in real life and on television. I agree with what you are saying. Though, I cannot change the situation, I myself, am not that way to men or any man in my life. I do respect men, and you are right to seek a female who will respect you, and you can build a family with.

[Woman'sview]

Let me begin, gentlemen, by saying, we are, first of all, human beings. We did not get to chose our gender. We can only respond to what we DO as a male or female. Being one gender does not make you better than the other.

No, but it does mean we have different roles to play in heterosexual relationships. Women will acknowledge this in situations when bills must be paid, or in when there is some courage necessary. Mostly they want men to be old fashioned men in those situations. Yet women don't want to be held to any sort of standard whatsoever. That is, women will not be traditional or be held to equality. They just want to do as they please; no accountability or responsibility.

Sorry, some of us don't like that sort of system in which men are locked into roles yet women don't have any obligations at all.

Hence we are not interested in American women for long term relationshits.

J.Adama, it is true that some women will take advantage of this shifting situation, and the man ends up getting short-changed and holding the ball. There are some women out there who have remained traditional, but you will find them in the strict Christian denominations where they were raised that way. Many times, these women, however only marry within their sects. If it will make you feel any better, American woman is not any more happier using men to her own advantage, and she will end up lonely and used, the way she has treated others.

Nobody really wins in this situation.

[Woman'sview]

your comment is mostly retarded, no doubt from a western woman who CANT understand why her neurotic, femenist, self centered, empowered and often obese or bulimic excuse for a woman is not CHERISHED and ADORED by american men.

bottom line: foreign woman put american woman to shame.

game over for you.

onezero4U, your daughters will be American.

[Woman'sview]

"Forgive american women for her errors and just live your life. Become a man"

Yep it's somehow always his fault. Thanks for your golden advice on forgiving american women's ways and just learn how to deal with them.

well-informed, if you don't forgive then the people we hate hold our minds hostage. We begin to obsess about them.

[Woman'sview]

I think most of the guys here tend to be less the self-entitled louts you describe, and more the timid, put-women-on-a-pedestal type. One of the main themes you'll read here is that American culture supports the entitled louts, but makes no place for those who would like to approach women on a genuine basis of partnership and equality. The vibe here is fundamentally idealistic. Sure, there are a lot of horny dudes on this board who let their fantasies run away with them. And there are a lot of hamburgers who have no game at all. But that's the main thesis -- it's all but impossible to develop game in a culture that has set things up so that you are inevitably going to lose, unless you have a warped personality. In the U.S. you lose most especially when you succeed in gaining the companionship of the typical AW.

Understood.

[Woman'sview]

Responsibility? Bit skewed there. Quite frankly, the kind of guys you are describing will be 'irresponsible' back home...or away from home. Either way, leaving the country makes them in no way irresponsible. Away from their comfort zone, they'll have to learn to take care of themselves in a foreign country or get 'burned'. If anything, leaving the country might actually make them more responsible.

The issue your describing isn't really about responsibility. Your describing the guys who go overseas to get laid and have some fun. That's not something i consider very related to responsibility in the sense your talking about.

Anyway, there is some truth in what you say though. There are alot of expats who should be termed 'asshats'. I've met one or two who treated their new 'life' as their own personal playground. They didn't treat women very well (or anyone else for that matter) but even if they were dicks, they were choosing to live the life they wanted to live. For them, it's better than living a depressing companionless life in the states....and changing themselves or 'manning' up for what? The quintessential American woman? The fact is, the 'good' American women get snatched up pretty fast, and these good women are vastly outnumbered by the 'other' women

Keius, I think you understand what I am saying where there are a certain percent of people who immigrate for the wrong reason. But for those who immigrate for the right reason, I have nothing against that.

[Adama]

Wait a min. This sounds like a NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT (NAWALT) line.

[Woman'sview]

A woman dividing us into "good" guys and "bad" guys according to her perception of our behavior - a typical female divide and conquer technique. Men can now supplicate to the woman by attacking their brothers and hope to seek her approval that they will be perceived as one of the good guys. Being married to judgmental, passive-aggressive, or backbiting women is why men have heart attacks and die early. However it is an excellent example of why a man should try his best to leave the Western matrix and seek out a simple, caring woman that nurtures more then she judges.

A very interesting point. I think judgmentalism is one of the more toxic ingredients in the American stew, and one we probably don't give enough attention here in trying to analyze why the place has gone so wrong.

gsjackson, I don't want to promote "judgmentalism" but honest discussion.

[djfourmoney]

Look at any dating site in America.

How many of these women truly want a loving husband but don't know how to get one? That's what decades of nonsense have done to our society.

Allison Armstrong though she needs to sell books and book seminars, is always ON POINT about the current situation. Don't you wonder why you see so many chocolate ads featuring women biting into a chocolate bar or chocolate candy?

There are reasons WHY it IS what IT is, blame Conservatives who were scared by the civil rights movement, flower children and general anti-establishment culture that was the late 1950's through the late 1960's.

Watch Allison's interviews on You Tube you'll find yourself nodding your head in agreement. There are many people that see what's wrong but have no idea how to fix it.

On HA we are leaning towards the solution of finding a wife overseas, perhaps living with her overseas, building a life overseas. What is it, 3 Million Americans don't even live in America?

If your in your 20's there still some hope, some time, just be careful how much time you waste. If you haven't found anybody by your early 30's, you should automatically start looking overseas. Women are often times quick to blame men for being non-committal, but when men are often ready to marry and have children by 28, where the women? Busy solidifying their career path... That clearly shows two different paths.

[ladislav]

On HA we are leaning towards the solution of finding a wife overseas, perhaps living with her overseas, building a life overseas. What is it, 3 Million Americans don't even live in America?

The number is much bigger, It is estimated to be close to 7 million. That is a lot!

Just on a side note- I have this half girlfriend/half friend in Manila. She is very smart and active ( only 21) but she is having a hard time finding work. For months now she has been disappearing now selling clothes at a market, now staying at home with her mom. Very bright, talkative, humorous person. But she is dirt poor- I think she has no father or her father is ineffectual. And she is a mosque-going Muslim girl. I saw her pictures in a lilac robe with her head covered in front of a blue domed mosque. She hid it from me for a long time until I got into her sister's FB account and saw it. She was scared to let me know thinking I would be prejudiced against her.

Anyway, I recently sent her some $300 to get enrolled in a cellphone repair school and also another $100 to buy equipment. She was so grateful and she is starting her course next week- she can't wait.

If you are a guy and you have a bit of disposable income and do not want to get tied down with a wife, do not fall too much into the whoring routine. It gets depressing and brings very little benefit to you and them in the long run. Not because it is a "sin" but because it really does not lead to any long term progress and development. I am not moralizing, because I am no angel, but there are so many normal ladies there that are looking for a man to just help with something as small as that. A few hundred bucks can change a person's destiny. And sometimes it is better to allow people to stand on their own two feet in their country than to take them out of the country.

[Woman'sview]

typical neurotic "womansview". I would bet she has 0 overseas living experience and therefore has no frame of reference to understand just HOW LOW the global desireablility of american woman is compared to non western woman who totally outclass them.

onezero4u, the American woman may be guilty of a lot of things, but she shares the same historical experiences as you do, and she is good at intellectual conversations when she is ready, and can have quite stimulating conversations with her man. Not saying one woman is better than the other, just showing the differences.