What goes on inside the mind of a woman

[Woman'sview]

Jamesbond, this is in response to you:

Woman'sview wrote:
"There are picky women and women who will go with anybody, it seems. The picky women usually have a high standard, and would rather remain single than date someone less than her ideals.

Men can seem like an annoyance, by the time a woman has left her home, sometimes she has had many guys watch her from their cars, a few glance at her at the side of the road, and some calling her. So it becomes automatic to reject men's advances after a while because she gets so many."

jamesbond responded:

"This only occurs in America where women are so damn picky! In the US single men outnumber single men up to age 50. This explains why women in America are getting asked out so much. It's funny how in Russia and eastern Europe, women don't mind men asking them out or starting conversations with them.

Pick up artists say, you can approach women in bookstores, grocery stores and shopping malls in America. Good luck with that!"


^ ^ ^
So true.


[/b]

[Woman'sview]

I know too many guys in their 30s and 40s that have given up on dating. Although not happy about it, they are somewhat comfortable sitting on the sidelines and stumbling thru life by themselves.

Those guys are luckier than they realize. The body bags, resulting from the blown relationships & marriages of the 20s/30s/40s will astonish them. In all honestly, I believe ~80% of stateside couples are miserable & have found ways of covering it up so that it only appears like it's a 40-50% phenomena. See the movie, "American Beauty", as a major picture Hollywood example.

I have a number of married female "acquaintances" & I estimate that 70%, not 50%, will be divorced after their kids turn 17-18. And these are dual income folks, not the credit card/checking account scammers like my sister.

S_Parc, don't paint such a dismal picture, it may make some men despair of finding love. Never give up on your dreams, you guys out there.

[Woman'sview]

have2fly wrote: "Well, I am glad that my responses haven't provoked more aggression as usually happens when I tell American girls these things straight forward."


Womansview: We are here on this forum for honest discussion, and there is nothing to fly off the handle about if there is only honesty and striving for the truth."


have2fly wrote: "So few things on the quote. First, if girls so "over-protective", why are there so many American girls having children in high school? Another thing, if girls are so "over-protective", why do they actually date and marry idiots and retards??? THAT BLOWS MY MIND! Where is the common sense? Women say they are afraid, but they want to spend time with douche bags! WTF? Where is the logic here?"




Woman'sview: You have the media to blame for that. Have you evert seen the 6:00 clock news when you come form work, and now add to that the round the clock news on CNN< MSNBC, etc, that barrages us with the victimization of women. Add to that Oprah and sundry other talk shows, and shows like Criminal minds and NCIS, and you'll see you have the makings of a very paranoid nation.


have2fly wrote: "On another note. I am sure that rape rate in the U.S. isn't any higher or lower than other countries. Furthermore, girls in Russia or Ukraine are treated much more rude by men, many had been "forced" into having sex (but actually that's how it works with them, which is considered normal - you have to "push" them a little, they expect that not to look like sluts, but many guys push beyond limits, so it becomes rape). So those girls are still not scared of every guy trying to rape them, instead they dream about love and caring guy next to them. They dream about "giving themselves completely to that guy", meaning many of them see themselves totally "giving their life" to the guy, do whatever it takes to be with him etc (not in a bad way, in romantic way if you know what that is). American girls never say that, but they actually do "give their everything" to IDIOTS! They chase idiots, love them, care about them! WTF??? I don't freaking get it! Then people talk about "high rates of domestic violence" in the U.S. DUH! No wonder it will happen with these kind of relationship."

Woman'sview: We are at a very decadent stage in American history. Most American women had good morals in the 50's and previous decades.


have2fly wrote: "Yet one more note. What kind of risk exists there in real every day life in the States for women???!!! You see a guy, say hi, go for a coffee with him. Just exactly where is he going to rape you? At a grocery store you met him or at Starbuck.................... Nevertheless, American women agree to risk their life chasing idiots, but being scared to talk to "normal" guys they see everyday. WOW! I don't even find a right word to describe rate of retardation of this behavior."


Woman'sview: Yea, the public greatly overestimate the real danger. A woman has more of a chance to be killed by her own husband, boyfriend or significant other, than a total stranger. And when a stranger does rape a woman, it makes headline news.

have2fly wrote: "That's exactly why immigrants and foreigners call Americans "zombies" or "brainwashed" or "soulless robots". Everything in American life happens on "Automatic" - relationships, life, work, clubbing, holidays. Everything happens in the way it is supposed to, people follow social norms and rules! There is no variety in life. Just how living this kind of life makes people happy? I remember a quote from one of the conspiracy movies (Zeitgeist?), one famous guy said that "the most enslaved people are the ones who believe they are free". Awesome quote!..................Just how do you define "strange men"? American women think I am strange, weirdo and creepy. LMAO! In reality, I am sweet, fun, "pumped up" and positive guy. But I don't act like other guys and I have "that strange accent", so automatically I am strange because they don't know how to qualify me. Amazing"

Woman'sview: Most American women, I think, will say a strange man is one she has not been formally introduced to.
Even then, she may dismiss you as a creep or weirdo if you don't behave within certain "norms." There are a lot of unspoken rules, and the failure to live up to them can bring harsh punishments and reprisals. "You are not allowed here, ----" or if you are fortunate, "That kind if behavior is not tolerated here."

The society has gone crazy.

have2fly wrote: Guys lose it too. I am trying to resist becoming totally Americanized because it just will not make my life happier! I am not seeing any stereotypes in the U.S. that I want to follow and absorb. Deep inside there are very few happy people. So yes, girls will be constantly brainwashed by the media and other girls that guys are creeps and "how dare you to take care and love your husband"? etc etc etc..."

Woman'sview: You do well to keep the positive in your culture and not pick up the shallow of this culture. Happiness can only come when one is bonded to people who care about them."


have2flywrote: "That is one more thing that BLOWS MY MIND! There are some very hot American girls. Of course there isn't many of them, but if you hit major clubs downtown in the large city you will see short skirts, high heels and gorgeous hair styles. But those girls totally blow off ALL guys that try to talk to them! WHY WHY WHY did you freaking make that hair and spend all that time to dress up if you don't even talk to ANY MEN??? But if that was always the case, I would just understand that American girls don't hook up in the clubs. Instead those hot chicks pick lamest idiot who got into a fight, puked all over or just totally fake and retarded. Where is logic here??? I don't get it.................. "Another thing - if you come to a woman, automatically she thinks that you talk to her - you are a loser, especially if you have no women around you talking with you. WTF??? If some guy comes to you, he is not needy-loser, he is interested.
That TOOK ME A VERY LONG TIME to figure out that when I go to the club or some party - you have to bring a hot girl with you who is just your friend, that way it is almost guaranteed that you will get laid. WTFFFFF???? Why do American girls judge "how cool the guy is" by the girl next to him??? Russian or European girls always say that "if you try to fall for a guy who is surrounded by women - it will not bring happiness in your life because that guy is most likely a player". But in the U.S. it is the opposite - faking yourself into a "player" style actually gets you women Smile I freaking laugh hard at this stuff, really. It is so retarded, when American girls see you with a hot girl, she thinks that "if that girl likes that guy, it means I have to get him, it also means he is fit for me". Why not go for an available guy??? It is either total stupidity or being so spoiled, not knowing what else to do with your life, but brake successful couples."


Woman'view:That is why this society is so messed up. You are right, it does not make any sense.

have2fly wrote: "I've seen so called "happy marriages" in the U.S. So far, I have not seen any true "happy" marriages in my understanding. Why do wifes have a separate account from their husbands? Well, that could be OK I guess. But why do wifes and husbands live "independently"? Meaning, they meet at home, each of them cooks their own dinner. It is OK not to talk at all, everyone minds their own business. It becomes even worse when couples stop to have sex and live sexless for 10-20 years, or cheating on each other left and right. WTF??? No one says "We", I just notice American couples at the restaurants or parties. Husband always orders his food and wife orders her food. In Russian or Ukrainian restaurant, husband will ask a wife of what she wants and then he will say "WE will have steak/salad/whatever". WE WE WE!!! That amazing word that I just don't see in American families. It's all about "I" and "I", not "US" or "WE"."


Woman'sview: Marriage takes lots of work and a man has to feel validated, so does the wife, so each must try to fulfill each other's needs. It is a challenge, but that is what it takes to have a happy marriage. No matter what country on earth that you live in, you still have to live by the basic rules of love, consideration and respect. The situation out there is real and extremely difficult for some men who do not fit neatly the profiles that the American woman like. But there is always hope, and that is what one has to have.

[S_Parc]

S_Parc, don't paint such a dismal picture, it may make some men despair of finding love. Never give up on your dreams, you guys out there.

Is this a type of 'Party of Hope', the one used by Obama and Co back in the '08 elections?

Well ... hate to say it but it was a lot of hot air, and even having grown up in a mostly Democratic state, I can see that it's gone nowhere.

[keius]

Hmmm....i've seen very few marriages where both parties treat each other with love, consideration, and respect. Marriages with a single party like this, i've seen some of....but rarely both. Usually if one party is lacking in these qualities, the other party who has these qualities won't have them for long.

On another note, the thing about women searching for men and rejecting men....
I've really got no issues with this. If they don't want a man who approaches her, it's fine. Just don't be a rude, snide bitch about it though.
Too many AW think that they are all that.
You don't need to look the guy up and down like a cockroach. Or the snide cutting remarks. The cuts may be justified if the guy just won't take NO for an answer,
but i've seen this way too many times.

When the guy they actually want approaches them, I can assure you that if
he's seen the way you treat other guys, his opinion of you won't be very high.
And he won't treat you with the respect you want because he'll think your
just a stuck up bitch who needs a good banging. In other words, try to act like a lady please.
You will find that men tend to find that attractive.

I still think women need to learn to do some of the 'approaching' themselves. In other countries, this works fine,
why not America? Try something different if what your doing isn't working. And get a thick skin.
I assure you that men can have very thick skin when we are dumped on as much as we are.

[Adama]

There are picky women and women who will go with anybody, it seems. The picky women usually have a high standard, and would rather remain single than date someone less than her ideals.

Men can seem like an annoyance, by the time a woman has left her home, sometimes she has had many guys watch her from their cars, a few glance at her at the side of the road, and some calling her. So it becomes automatic to reject men's advances after a while because she gets so many.

No one else finds this comment disturbing?

[jamesbond]

On another note, the thing about women searching for men and rejecting men....
I've really got no issues with this. If they don't want a man who approaches her, it's fine. Just don't be a rude, snide bitch about it though.
Too many AW think that they are all that.
You don't need to look the guy up and down like a cockroach. Or the snide cutting remarks. The cuts may be justified if the guy just won't take NO for an answer,
but i've seen this way too many times.

When the guy they actually want approaches them, I can assure you that if
he's seen the way you treat other guys, his opinion of you won't be very high.
And he won't treat you with the respect you want because he'll think your
just a stuck up bitch who needs a good banging. In other words, try to act like a lady please.
You will find that men tend to find that attractive.
I still think women need to learn to do some of the 'approaching' themselves. In other countries, this works fine,
why not America? Try something different if what your doing isn't working. And get a thick skin.
I assure you that men can have very thick skin when we are dumped on as much as we are.

I have often wondered why women in America are so standoffish. I mean come on, not only do they not flirt with men, they don't even make eye contact with men, WTF?

Then, if you do approach them, they tend to turn men down in a harsh way. How would women in America like it if men were to act so rudely towards them?

Studies show that women in America are the second least flirtacious women in the world! Gee, what a great country to live in, if your a man trying to meet women!

[Squirrel]

Very funny with the Virgin Mary reference, have2fly. And yes, I'm sure alot of people were disturbed from the comment. Call me crazy but I am disturbed about all of the parts in them. They wreak of chocolate covered corpses. To coin a phrase my mother once said, "A thousand people puked in the aisle."

[Aware]

I honestly feel sorry for American Women. Truly.

Since they were little girls, they have been told that they deserve the world on a platter, and going into young adulthood they carry around a Prada bag chock full of impossible expectations. They will never be happy.

Imagine that...NEVER being satisfied with what you have. NOTHING measuring up to your desires.

It would be hell. And it is the reality for most American Women. There is an insatiable greed and envy that accompanies them everywhere. No man will ever be good enough.

They are brainwashed to believe that they are entitled to everything that they see as valuable. Being attractive only reinforces that sense of entitlement. Somehow, they are unable to see that respect, trust, and love are EARNED. If you are a decent person with integrity and a good spirit, perhaps you are entitled to some of the wonderful things in life. Being a pretty female isn't an accomplishment.


So, I feel sorry for American Women, and I feel sorry for all of us men out here who are trapped in this time and place. Luckily an escape route exists, and it is one I wish I didn't have to take. There are a lot of women out there who had a lot of potential and who are probably good people underneath everything, but unfortunately the power of suggestion is sometimes too much to overcome. Perhaps in another life, in some parallel universe these women will be happy, but in this one, I'm afraid, there may be no hope left.

[S_Parc]

There are a lot of women out there who had a lot of potential and who are probably good people underneath everything, but unfortunately the power of suggestion is sometimes too much to overcome.

Having potential is not enough of an excuse to be a lifelong victim.

My sister, unlike myself, did poorly in HS because she couldn't keep up with the social pecking order of the other preppy gals in class. On the other hand, I'd graduated with honors and won a scholarship to college. Then, she'd flunked out of college and was hounded by loan officers until her husband helped pay off her debt. I'd finished college, magna cum laude, borrowing only ~$2K (the rest of it were merit based scholarships) and had several job offers upon graduation, by actively pursuing internships throughout my school breaks & even working part-time, during a full time class load, to build the old resume.

I'm sorry but I'm not buying into it anymore. The culture of the armchair feminist has gone too far. If one is not Helen Keller, Marie Curie, Susan B Anthony, Gertrude Stein, nor Deborah Harry, then admit it ... one has neither the intrinsic talent nor the drive to make things happen in life.

[keius]

I honestly feel sorry for American Women. Truly.

Since they were little girls, they have been told that they deserve the world on a platter, and going into young adulthood they carry around a Prada bag chock full of impossible expectations. They will never be happy.

Imagine that...NEVER being satisfied with what you have. NOTHING measuring up to your desires.

It would be hell. And it is the reality for most American Women. There is an insatiable greed and envy that accompanies them everywhere. No man will ever be good enough.

They are brainwashed to believe that they are entitled to everything that they see as valuable. Being attractive only reinforces that sense of entitlement. Somehow, they are unable to see that respect, trust, and love are EARNED. If you are a decent person with integrity and a good spirit, perhaps you are entitled to some of the wonderful things in life. Being a pretty female isn't an accomplishment.


So, I feel sorry for American Women, and I feel sorry for all of us men out here who are trapped in this time and place. Luckily an escape route exists, and it is one I wish I didn't have to take. There are a lot of women out there who had a lot of potential and who are probably good people underneath everything, but unfortunately the power of suggestion is sometimes too much to overcome. Perhaps in another life, in some parallel universe these women will be happy, but in this one, I'm afraid, there may be no hope left.

Most Americans have a messed up sense of self-entitlement, men and women both. Honestly, i've seen this in some expats as well. I don't feel sorry for them anymore than i feel sorry for the "little emperors".
So what your saying is that not only are AW self entitled, but also greedy and spoiled. I'm not really sure i buy this. The AW can work her ass off.

I will say that AW have some truly insane expectations. And they don't really know wtf they want. Like you said, that's how the media in this country has conditioned them.
Once again, they don't know WTF they want. They always say one thing and do something else. That's not enough for me to pity them. I just think they need to grow up and take a good long look at reality.

[Woman'sview]

S_Parc, don't paint such a dismal picture, it may make some men despair of finding love. Never give up on your dreams, you guys out there.

Is this a type of 'Party of Hope', the one used by Obama and Co back in the '08 elections?

Well ... hate to say it but it was a lot of hot air, and even having grown up in a mostly Democratic state, I can see that it's gone nowhere.

S_Parc, you have become cynical.

[Woman'sview]

Another thing - if you come to a woman, automatically she thinks that you talk to her - you are a loser, especially if you have no women around you talking with you. WTF??? If some guy comes to you, he is not needy-loser, he is interested. That TOOK ME A VERY LONG TIME to figure out that when I go to the club or some party - you have to bring a hot girl with you who is just your friend, that way it is almost guaranteed that you will get laid. WTFFFFF???? Why do American girls judge "how cool the guy is" by the girl next to him??? Russian or European girls always say that "if you try to fall for a guy who is surrounded by women - it will not bring happiness in your life because that guy is most likely a player". But in the U.S. it is the opposite - faking yourself into a "player" style actually gets you women I freaking laugh hard at this stuff, really. It is so retarded, when American girls see you with a hot girl, she thinks that "if that girl likes that guy, it means I have to get him, it also means he is fit for me". Why not go for an available guy??? It is either total stupidity or being so spoiled, not knowing what else to do with your life, but brake successful couples.

have2fly, in some ways, you're wasting your time communicating with WV. She's trying to play both sides of the fence to prop up her position in all this. She wants to feel better than other women around her.

The reality of the situation is that in America, you have to show absolutely no interest in any women. Then, as a result of your aloofness and success in the "business" schmooze, women will find you attractive because of an outward display of success but a lack of interest in them. Then, you can get a female acquaintance to hang out with you, at parties, and soon, all kinds of women will be trying to get your attention to "steal you" away from her.

And this is suppose to be considered a modern, sophisticated culture. I'm calling it a bluff and a con.

WV's opinion is of no value. She needs to realize that she adds no value to a man's value. Yes, she needs to realize that American women are not "Susan B Anthonys", "Marie Curies", or any such luminaries but are hapless, passive-aggressive failures in life.

Strangely enough, the more I'd practiced losing interest, it actually occurred. I don't waste time with American women. It's always a business card type of gossip but then, I quickly move on to a foreign woman. It's now automatic without any prompting and thus, American women are now attracted to me but as a consequence, I don't care for them.

You might be wrong.

[Woman'sview]

There are picky women and women who will go with anybody, it seems. The picky women usually have a high standard, and would rather remain single than date someone less than her ideals.

Men can seem like an annoyance, by the time a woman has left her home, sometimes she has had many guys watch her from their cars, a few glance at her at the side of the road, and some calling her. So it becomes automatic to reject men's advances after a while because she gets so many.

No one else finds this comment disturbing?

Adama, I am sorry that you find this comment disturbing. But it is the truth. Don't blame me for it. I know it is hard for some men out there, but it's not my doing. I am only writing the way I see it. I do hope that you find your happiness.