What does it take to be successful with women in the USA?

[LarryLaffer]

Hi Everyone,


@ Everyone

Thanks for the responses. But I think a few of you misunderstood. I was asking more of a QUIZ QUESTION, not asking for advice. Perhaps I should have posted this in the General Discussions section. I AM NOT TRYING TO GET AN AMERICAN WOMAN. I'm planning to go to Argentina, Estonia, Latvia, or Poland. I haven't decided which one yet. I'm just seeing if any of you have realized what it really takes to be successful with American women.

Eurobrat won the quiz question with the best answer:

3 companies, 10 million dollars in assets and cash, a 6 pack of abs, 6'2" tall , no children, must be able to make women laugh on command, must have her political/religious beliefs etc. etc.

@ zboy

It doesn't surprise me to be honest. I've been considered attractive by some girls as well, but maintaining and finding relationships is difficult for me. You can imagine how much more difficult it is for a person that is considered 'ugly' by American standards. I think looks is mostly subjective anyway. The problem is that in the U.S., unless you're super rich, over 6'4 or taller, super handsome, and have high social status, then even some good-looking guys have trouble.

It very much surprises me. Perhaps conditions are worse for guys in their twenties then they were 15-20 years ago when I was in my twenties. Things weren't THAT bad back in the 1990s.

@ Phoenix Sosa

Larry, look at my pictures on my Facebook profile:

http://www.facebook.com/phoenixsosa

I don't have problems getting women either. You have to deal with a lot of mind games. One minute she likes you and the other minute she doesn't even know who you are. Things like that. I have been single for a while and I want to keep it that way until I move to Denmark in 2012. I don't even care about women in this country anymore.

It is not worth it. I have better things to do with my time.

I wasn't saying you were ugly. I was just saying that just in the past couple weeks there were 4 handsome guys that registered. I wasn't listing all the handsome guys.

Why Denmark? What advantage does Denmark have over say Latvia? Latvia has just as high a percentage of blondes. Look at them here:

http://www.goblonde.lv/

Also, the cost of living is much lower.

To answer your question directly. GET OUT OF THIS TOXIC WASTELAND! I am 26 years old and I am not going to live in America until I am 35 or older. I know my fate here. Go to a country of your choice and start a new life there. That's what I am doing. Stop wasting time with American women. You said you have $100,000? Shit, if I had that money at age 26, you know what I do?

1. Get a one way ticket to Denmark.

2. Put half of that 100,000 in the bank for a rainy day.

3. Get the cheapest place I can afford. I have connections in Denmark already, so that won't be a problem.

$100,000 sounds like a lot. But you have to remember I would most likely have to leave my job so the $100,000 is all I would have to live on till I got a new job which could take quite a while. Believe me, I am tempted to just take off. But I really can't retire on just the $120,000 I currently have. So I would have to either get a job in the country I'm moving to or somehow arrange a leave of absence from work so I can fulfill my dream without losing my job. I'm not a rich guy. I have an average income. I just have been saving very carefully for the last 8 years.

I appreciate your idea. However, you are 26. I am 41. You just don't understand. When you reach your 40's, you become invisible to young women. You say that Mark Edward Davis isn't having a Sugar Daddy relationship. Well, perhaps he isn't offering her a Sugar Daddy allowance. However, I suspect he is quite rich. If a guy is very rich, he doesn't need to offer an allowance to have a Sugar Baby. It is my understanding that Anaheim, California is a VERY rich area. Disneyland is in Anaheim, California:

http://disneyland.disney.go.com/disneyland/

Address:
1313 S. Disneyland Drive
Anaheim, CA 92802

So, you see, he doesn't need to offer an allowance to her to Sugar Daddy her. Just by living in his house, which I suspect is a mansion, is enough. It is misleading to think that, just because the very rich and charismatic Mark Edward Davis was able to get a hot Ukrainian wife, therefore I can do the same thing as a geeky, awkward, middle class guy close to him in age.

@ ssjparris

women sneak peaks at me all the time. this includes American Women. i have been told by my best friend from iran " you're very handsome and black !!!" this is why i get stared at or looked at. BUT....american women don't wanna date still. serious mental problems. because after they reject me, they stare again. yeesh.

It seems to me that women in the US will reject even guys that they are attracted to at a basic level because of social conditioning. They have all sorts of ridiculous filters a guy has to pass through. Even if the woman likes you, she will reject you out of fear that her friends might think negatively of her if you don't pass very strict standards.

@ Taco

Theres no such thing as success with American women, there is never an upside to dating them if your a man. You can only have true freedom and happiness once you completely give up on American women.

Perhaps Taco. However, what I'm saying is that some guys are able to get hot women. However, it seems that in order to do so you have to pass through all sorts of ridiculous criteria. Basically you have to be as Eurobrat described.

@ Banano

I agree with Steve Hoca when he says its about looks when it comes attracting women and head/face is the most important, 90% is from the neck up,body isnt that much(assumingthat you are not fat), if you got brad pitt or ricky martin head women will be chasing you, im sure(yet they will all tell you they go for personality)...if you got that type of face that they like its done deal,I know from my experience when I go out, (im tall. muscles ,biceps,average at least in in the head), with friend who is mayb 5.9, he does not confidence I would say he is shy n quiet type of guy,skinny , but one thing ha has going for him is he incredibly attractive head, smthin like above mentioned celebs...guess what??..he gets all the attention women come up to him even though he is lackin confidence and he is shy, all it matters is from the neck up, it can be frustrating since going out with him you become invisible....maybe they are hardwired biologically to seek most attractive face to procreate...in a dating world looks is very very important, I cant stand when some ppl try to play it down usually sayin 'looks fade' yea so why they think someones personality wont fade...i know many people who used to be nice n everythin and over time they turned to a nasty assoles...whats yr take on this/

My take on this is you have to be as Eurobrat described. However, I would add one thing. You also have to be an evil psychopath. It seems that guys who are psychopathic are sometimes able to get hot women even when they are not so rich. However, nice guys can, at best, get only average looking American women even when they themselves are rich and handsome. I've known rich, handsome American men who were nice who had plain looking wives.


@ lavezzi

Going by your description, I'm certain your friend fits into the category of being a 'prettyboy', being that he is prevalent in feminine beauty. Which is absolutely not what women are hardwired biologically to seek. The reason they are so adamant about these types is due to programming to subconsciously imitate men in looking for 'beauty' when selecting a mate. Look at what was considered attractive pre-feminism and compare it to now. Looks-wise, the ideal guys would never have been described as 'pretty'. I think biologically a man's height and build is more important when physically attracting a woman than his face.

I disagree that pretty boys have success with women. All the guys I see with hot women are with very masculine bad boys. Being pretty does NOT help a guy with women.

@ rome86

lavezzi is right ..in the western world and more so america ..women are programmed to go after the feminine looking guys .... masculine guys like us unless we are thugs or deadbeat eell we have no luck... down south women prefere masculine looking guys

I disagree. All the hot women I see want masculine bad boys.

@ eurobrat

Who the hell has 100K in cash at 26 during the worst recession since the 1920's?

WTF are you still doing here? Sounds fishy...

First, congratulations on winning the quiz with your answer!

Second, I'm 41, not 26. Phoenix is 26. I am planning on leaving but I do have to choose a country, learn the language, and find a job over there first as one cannot realistically retire on even $120,000.

.

[Dogboy86]

Success with American women = sleeping with them and not getting the clap!!!

[Adama]

I often wonder what it takes as well. I wonder where Lavezzi gets his data from, not that I disagree. Just curious. I have been a young Brad Pitt type pretty boy most of life. It has gotten me loads of attention from AWs. It has never gotten me one AW though. I have had much success with other nationalities I have run into, just not the AWs.

From the Facebook profiles of some women I know, it seems to me that their boyfriends and exboyfriends tend to be on the lower end of the spectrum, at least relative to the woman. That just reinforces my belief that women prefer to be the pretty ones in the relationship. That also supports Lavezzi's theory.

But I mostly just think it boils down to a lack of positive femininity with a resulting increased in the negative aspect of femininity to fill the void. That is women no longer know how to flirt and act girly, which would be positive aspects of femininity. Instead they rely on the only skills they have left, which happen to be overly negative - namely flakiness, risk aversion, unreasonable demands -- which eliminates a large percentage of men who would otherwise still be considered "evolutionarily fit". In the USA, men like each of us would be eliminated in the sexual selection process not because of any particular defects of our own, but because of the broken software American women are operating with.

[NorthAmericanguy]

So if handsome guys are having difficulty with women in the USA and Canada, then what exactly does it take to be successful with women here? I mean, the four guys above aren't happy here, are having trouble, are even considering single moms or are with women who cheat on them with Sugar Daddies. So if they aren't happy with dating here, then who is? If being very handsome isn't enough, then

WHAT EXACTLY DOES A GUY HAVE TO BE OR DO IN ORDER TO BE SUCCESSFUL AND HAPPY WITH WOMEN HERE?

Lets define "success" in the context of American women.

1.) Having sex with them.

2.) Long term relationships with them (ie. Marriage).



I can only speak for myself, but, I have had "success" in number 1 with American women. Admittedly, I CHOSE not to engage in a promiscuous lifestyle with American women due to all the risk involved.

As far as number 2, this is where I have the problem, as American women currently do not make good long term partners.

Why? Well lets break it down further as to why American women don't make good long term partners; or even good mothers anymore:

American women gain too much weight over the years
American women are aggressive like men
American women have tattoos like men
American women drink liquor like men
American women smoke like men
American women do hard drugs like men
American women don't know how to cook anymore
American women are married to their careers
American women are no longer kind and sweet
American women are whores so the days of finding a virgin to marry are over
American women expect to lead men instead of letting men lead them
American women are unsanitary and don't like to clean
American women are very selfish
American women are unreasonable and demanding
American women are fame seekers and highly materialistic
American women use their children and sex as a weapon
American women naturally gravitate towards criminals and degenerate men

So you see, this is why guys are moving abroad, it's not necessarily about getting laid, but trying to find a QUALITY woman who is worth more then just a good F***K.

[NorthAmericanguy]

I appreciate your idea. However, you are 26. I am 41. You just don't understand. When you reach your 40's, you become invisible to young women. You say that Mark Edward Davis isn't having a Sugar Daddy relationship. Well, perhaps he isn't offering her a Sugar Daddy allowance. However, I suspect he is quite rich. If a guy is very rich, he doesn't need to offer an allowance to have a Sugar Baby. It is my understanding that Anaheim, California is a VERY rich area. Disneyland is in Anaheim, California:

I use to live around Anaheim and did work around that area.... It's not all that rich of an area as there are poor Mexican/White towns all around that area. It's not like Newport Beach, Crystal Cove, or even Irvine Ca, for example....

[lavezzi]

@NorthAmericanguy

I agree. It's absurd to claim that in order to 'get' American women you need "3 companies, 10 million dollars in assets and cash, a 6 pack of abs, 6'2" tall , no children, must be able to make women laugh on command, must have her political/religious beliefs etc. etc."

'If you can't get laid, go to America where it's easy' is a common maxim in other western countries. Being a foreigner does give you an exotic edge with American women, but I think there are other factors involved.

American men tend to be more shy and reserved than in other western countries. This means there is a lower standard of charisma and charm expected from you in order to generate interest. It also means women are approached less in bars and clubs, and therefore there is less competition. There also seems to be less of a sense of prejudice against sluts, making women more open to one night stands. Going by these factors, I'd say if you possess a decent amount of charm/charisma, are average looking or better and approach as many women as possible in spite of rejection, you should get laid easily in the USA.

Keep in mind, these are my observations of America from a limited stay. Please feel free to disagree.

[Fenix]

@LarryLaffer,

Denmark is like my Ukraine, but more expensive. I don't believe in the GDP factor theory. I have talked to women from the Philippines (I was on the bandwagon too in 2007-2008) and we don't click at all. I like women with intelligence. No offense to Filipinas. How come I have met sweet, innocent, friendly, beautiful, intelligent women from Denmark (I have met more than one)??? I try to tell men on here that they need to stop lumping all European countries that are rich with America and the UK. I give Canada high reviews and this was before I found HappierAbroad, nomarriage.com, etc.

I talked to many women from Canada and they blew me away. I almost moved to Canada in 2006 because I was getting serious with this girl I met. She was wonderful. My best girlfriends that I have had in America have been foreign born. One girl was from Croatia and the other from Mexico. I met them both here in Arizona. I was with the Croatian girl from 2004 to late 2005 until I moved to Hawaii. We were going to date again in 2006, but I lost contact with her. I met Tiffani (Canadian girl) and that changed!

I am not obsessed with blondes like the other men on this planet lol. I love brunettes. Blue eyed brunettes? Perfection! Denmark has its advantages:

1. Danish women don't get their just due. Probably the most beautiful women in the world to me that have intelligence, sense of humor, style, etc. How American women in this generation should be like, but not.

2. No language barrier. Danish women already speak 3 or more languages. No need to learn Danish to communicate. The women already are fluent in English.

3. Liberal. Danish women love sex.

4. In my opinion, they won't scam you and for what? They have benefits like "free" education and healthcare. They have a lot of things American could dream to have. She will not look for a one-way ticket to America. This is addressing the horror stories I hear about Russian and Ukrainian women that scam men. Danish women don't want to move to America.


I could add more, but you get my idea. I just click with these women the most. My personality type matches up with theirs. One Danish girl I really like named Julia, she is a brunette of course, but our sense of humor is about the same. Her writing style (she writes blogs like I do) is about the same as mine too. We are like twins. She is the closest I have ever seen a female to be this similar to me in my life. It is crazy. She is also very beautiful.

I don't equate poor countries with higher quality women. I have met women from Australia and the UK that are really cool too. I don't think men on here should eliminate these countries. Another thing I don't understand is the whole feminism thing. Feminism in Europe is different than America's. Denmark is one of the most equal countries in the world. Why on Earth would they be feminized? They're not. I have met plenty of Danish women that are like the Russian and Ukrainian women these men on here speak of. If I can meet women from Denmark like this, I think men on here can too. I have always been interested in Denmark since I was a kid, so I have bias!

I am not lying about this. I chatted with a Danish model on Skype the first time we talked on MySpace. We were talking on the phone right after that and she was very humble. She was definitely a 9 1/2 out of 10. All I said to her was I wanted to get to know her better. She gave me her Skype and we video chatted for like 45 minutes. She had on no makeup and she still looked great. She looked better without the makeup on. She was from the second biggest city in Denmark. I am just saying, don't avoid these countries like Sweden. Many high quality women are there. Remember, this is a woman that is a model. She has her own website and everything. High quality women aren't just in poor countries.

[eurobrat]

...

[ErikHeaven]

Yes its easy for me to get laid the number of MARRIED women who hit on me is just crazy. They are not faithful here. They are open and brazen about it. My former boss his wife actually showed up at my house and offered it to me. I told her to get the hell out of here!
Her husband was the sole bread winner and he paid for the house and car and 2 sons, and soccer practice and hockey practice and the slut wanted to cheat!
Yes its all about money and just getting the hell out of here.
Sluts and whores rule America.

[ErikHeaven]

American women gain too much weight over the years
American women are aggressive like men
American women have tattoos like men
American women drink liquor like men
American women smoke like men
American women do hard drugs like men
American women don't know how to cook anymore
American women are married to their careers
American women are no longer kind and sweet
American women are whores so the days of finding a virgin to marry are over
American women expect to lead men instead of letting men lead them
American women are unsanitary and don't like to clean
American women are very selfish
American women are unreasonable and demanding
American women are fame seekers and highly materialistic
American women use their children and sex as a weapon
American women naturally gravitate towards criminals and degenerate men.
Thank you for that post brother. My last American GF left me because i was too sick! I had a long lasting flu around 07 that got really bad. And she dumped me for that. She dumped me when i needed her the most. That was around 07 i think and i have not looked back. No more GFs for me here. I am done. They will not stay with you and i wont even f**k them anymore so its time just leave this shit hole for good.

[eurobrat]

...

[Hook]

@Erik

Promiscuity IS HIGH. I agree, I went to the bar at like 4:30pm after work the other day was seeing a client in the afternoon and the company I work for requires a suit and tie when seeing clients.

Sat down outside and there was this blonde nurse still in attire who initiated a conversation with me asking me about the weather.

Guess what her first question was.....

What do you do for a living?

Actually, I don't mind this question. I frequently ask this of women I am making small talk with. Since our careers are a large part of who we are, it makes sense. I would prefer to hook up with a woman in a career that requires intelligence, like engineering or science.

How is your grandma doing?

[eurobrat]

...

[leavingusa]

I think the problem may be that despite being good, great or average looking most of us are intelligent and not ex-cons, thugs or drop out douchebag jersey shore dipshits.

You really want to pull ass in america? Quit your job and start dealing, join a gang of some type, get some duis, start taking steroids and get some tats etc.

The worst thing you can be is a generic kind of stand up guy with a good job, you will only get single moms and women in their mid-thirties with ticking clocks who could care less about you. Well I guess that's not quite as bad as the nice guys who take the bus but at least they aren't targets.

Another aspect is that they don't belong to a recognizable clique (hip hop guy, gang member, biker, preppie, guido, goth). If you don't come with some kind of a pre-packaged persona they're not going to relate to you. Originality does not seem to be well tolerated.