Date in Asia - My experiences

[Rock]

Winston you have to watch out for Chinese women on dating sites though a lot of them are green card/passport hunters. There's probably much more Chinese women who do this than Filipinas and Thais even. A good way to filter them out is to let them up front that you will be residing in Taiwan permanently. Then see how they react to you letting them know that you won't be their one way ticket to America-land.

Don't some of them want to go to Taiwan too? Even if they are green card hunters, they are still a lot more intelligent nevertheless. So far, none of them have asked me if I'm going back to America or where I'm living now.

Ha, these days, a lot of them probably think Taiwan is some sort of poor backward province which is being punished for not behaving itself, lol.

[Repatriate]

Don't some of them want to go to Taiwan too? Even if they are green card hunters, they are still a lot more intelligent nevertheless. So far, none of them have asked me if I'm going back to America or where I'm living now.

It's different because the likelihood of them having the upper hand in Taiwan in any relationship is very low. Just look at how many Taiwanese-Viet or Taiwanese-Thai relationships are male orientated.

Many Chinese women are well aware of the laws and how asian women are perceived in the U.S. and other western countries. That's a level of cunning that's above your average Filipina or Thai woman who is usually just opportunistic.

[Rock]

Winston you have to watch out for Chinese women on dating sites though a lot of them are green card/passport hunters. There's probably much more Chinese women who do this than Filipinas and Thais even. A good way to filter them out is to let them up front that you will be residing in Taiwan permanently. Then see how they react to you letting them know that you won't be their one way ticket to America-land.

Its kind of odd that this is the case. Many Chinese today are so full of national pride and probably believe China will overtake the US very soon. On the other hand, PI is perceived, both at home and abroad, as a a perpetual 3rd world shithole. Also, I don't believe China allows dual citizenship. So in order to naturalize in US and comply with local Chinese laws, they need to renounce their PRC citizenship. My friend's wife did this BTW but she is still able to get visas to visit China.

Anyway, I would imagine there are ways to play visa hunters if your goal is just to have some fun. They are better than gold diggers cus you can probably get by in many cases with spending very little during dating phase, perfect for Winston.

[Rock]

Don't some of them want to go to Taiwan too? Even if they are green card hunters, they are still a lot more intelligent nevertheless. So far, none of them have asked me if I'm going back to America or where I'm living now.

It's different because the likelihood of them having the upper hand in Taiwan in any relationship is very low. Just look at how many Taiwanese-Viet or Taiwanese-Thai relationships are male orientated.

Many Chinese women are well aware of the laws and how asian women are perceived in the U.S. and other western countries. That's a level of cunning that's above your average Filipina or Thai woman who is usually just opportunistic.

Good point, especially since law regarding property settlements in China following divorce was recently changed in favor of contributing party I believe.

I think there are ways a smart person can avoid many of the financial pitfalls of bringing a foreign woman to the US. Having a second citizenship plus holding most of your assets overseas helps tremendously. As for owning US property, you can aim to buy most of it on mortgage and/or put it in the name of a trust structure. Of course, if your woman is too cunning, she will not go for any of this and fight you tooth and nail. If so, at least you will find out early and can cut her off when potential for damage is most limited.

[Repatriate]

Its kind of odd that this is the case. Many Chinese today are so full of national pride and probably believe China will overtake the US very soon. On the other hand, PI is perceived, both at home and abroad, as a a perpetual 3rd world shithole. Also, I don't believe China allows dual citizenship. So in order to naturalize in US and comply with local Chinese laws, they need to renounce their PRC citizenship. My friend's wife did this BTW but she is still able to get visas to visit China.

This is the image many Chinese people would like to present and i'm sure many Chinese who are lucky enough to be in the real middle or upper class bracket in China fully buy into this worldview. However, for everyone else the economic reality trumps the nationalist party line. If they aren't finding employment after college or working in a series of low paying office jobs without many options for finding an upper bracket Chinese man then they're going to look overseas like everyone else. I believe your average educated Chinese woman who is reasonably attractive can understand there are other options available.

Anyway, I would imagine there are ways to play visa hunters if your goal is just to have some fun. They are better than gold diggers cus you can probably get by in many cases with spending very little during dating phase, perfect for Winston.

True, if Winston's incentive is to get laid with relatively no strings attached under the pretense of marriage it's probably a good opportunity.

I think overall China has the best opportunities in general for someone like Winston though. Plus if he ever lucks out in meeting an actual match who is a Chinese woman i'm sure she would easily blow away any Filipinas for long term relations.

[Fenix]

Great job, Winston! Chinese women are great. I have talked to a few of them and they are really sweet and caring. I wouldn't mind exploring China myself. I am glad you are pursuing Chinese women. The ones I talked to found me on MySpace and requested me as a friend, so that's a first! Asian women usually don't do that. I usually can't find Asian women to talk to and not sure if they like black men.

Anyway, I hope you have success with Chinese women and move to China. I think you need a change of pace.

[Winston]

Do you guys mean that the Chinese visa hunters are willing to sleep with you to get what they want? How do you know? What if they use that lame copout excuse, "I'm saving myself for marriage. I don't believe in sex before marriage. I will sleep with you in the future, but not now. Be patient. Let our love grow first." blah blah blah?

[Winston]

Here are examples of the kind of Chinese women that are on DateinAsia! There are so many attractive Chinese women on there. It's crazy.



Another great reputable site I found for meeting Chinese women is

http://www.chinesekisses.com

[Repatriate]

Do you guys mean that the Chinese visa hunters are willing to sleep with you to get what they want? How do you know?

I know of 3 anecdotes from real life people where Chinese women were playing the long game with them. One of them was a distance Chinese relative on my mom's side who married a nurse from the mainland. He's a fairly well off engineer and lives in a nice CA suburb. He had a son with her and then when she came over she left him within 2 years time and ran off with a doctor.

Another situation is the infamous one where Chinese women leave right when their visa is approved. This happens enough that the U.S. consulate actually warns about it.

Plus I understand how mercenary and pragmatic some Chinese women are. It's ruthless ambition when they are trying to better their lives and move up in the world, they will run over any number of people to get it done.

What if they use that lame copout excuse, "I'm saving myself for marriage. I don't believe in sex before marriage. I will sleep with you in the future, but not now. Be patient. Let our love grow first." blah blah blah?

Then if your intentions are morally impure you can just game them harder or play the sucker. I think true mercenary Chinese women aren't romantic but pragmatic and cynical. So, you could appeal to their material lusts and fever dreams about going to America. Print up fake pics of your house and BMW at home. Maybe develop a persona for yourself.. Winston Wu ObGyn M.D. Harvard U. Rent a doctor's smock and take a few pics with friends posing as nurses. Hand out name cards. The whole nine yards baby.

Lead them on with the dream about how you will whisk them away, then whisk them to your bed for kinky sex, and then out the door afterward.

That's a whole lot of bullshitting and con work just for sex though. I'd feel very ugly doing it but I know some men don't have a problem with it and I certainly don't think it's a bad thing to scam other scammers.

I guess it would make for an amusing game and my opinion is some of these women are probably pretty hardcore and expect to give out some freebie sex anyways to get to the finishing line.

I don't see how it would be a problem for you Winston, you had girls lead you on in Russia all the time. This time you could get to be in the actual driver's seat instead of in the role as the mark.

[Winston]

Do you guys mean that the Chinese visa hunters are willing to sleep with you to get what they want? How do you know?

I know of 3 anecdotes from real life people where Chinese women were playing the long game with them. One of them was a distance Chinese relative on my mom's side who married a nurse from the mainland. He's a fairly well off engineer and lives in a nice CA suburb. He had a son with her and then when she came over she left him within 2 years time and ran off with a doctor.

How do you know whether your Chinese relative's woman planned to leave him from the start, or simply changed her mind after the marriage? I mean how do you know she wasn't sincere from the start?

How can you know if someone is a visa whore though? Do they give themselves away by asking you questions about your finances and career first? To play the game you describe, I'd have to appear wealthy not just with business cards and photos, but by spending a ton of money carelessly every time we went out too.

[Winston]

Wow look at these hot Chinese women I found on ChineseKisses.com! Incredible! Their legs are so white, smooth and long! Perfect!

This one is so perfect looking! My God!



My God. Look at these legs. So damn perfect!



These too!

[Fenix]

Are you considering China now, Winston? What do you have to lose?

[Rock]

Do you guys mean that the Chinese visa hunters are willing to sleep with you to get what they want? How do you know?

I know of 3 anecdotes from real life people where Chinese women were playing the long game with them. One of them was a distance Chinese relative on my mom's side who married a nurse from the mainland. He's a fairly well off engineer and lives in a nice CA suburb. He had a son with her and then when she came over she left him within 2 years time and ran off with a doctor.

Another situation is the infamous one where Chinese women leave right when their visa is approved. This happens enough that the U.S. consulate actually warns about it.

Plus I understand how mercenary and pragmatic some Chinese women are. It's ruthless ambition when they are trying to better their lives and move up in the world, they will run over any number of people to get it done.

What if they use that lame copout excuse, "I'm saving myself for marriage. I don't believe in sex before marriage. I will sleep with you in the future, but not now. Be patient. Let our love grow first." blah blah blah?

Then if your intentions are morally impure you can just game them harder or play the sucker. I think true mercenary Chinese women aren't romantic but pragmatic and cynical. So, you could appeal to their material lusts and fever dreams about going to America. Print up fake pics of your house and BMW at home. Maybe develop a persona for yourself.. Winston Wu ObGyn M.D. Harvard U. Rent a doctor's smock and take a few pics with friends posing as nurses. Hand out name cards. The whole nine yards baby.

Lead them on with the dream about how you will whisk them away, then whisk them to your bed for kinky sex, and then out the door afterward.

That's a whole lot of bullshitting and con work just for sex though. I'd feel very ugly doing it but I know some men don't have a problem with it and I certainly don't think it's a bad thing to scam other scammers.

I guess it would make for an amusing game and my opinion is some of these women are probably pretty hardcore and expect to give out some freebie sex anyways to get to the finishing line.

I don't see how it would be a problem for you Winston, you had girls lead you on in Russia all the time. This time you could get to be in the actual driver's seat instead of in the role as the mark.

Some of those girls look pretty interesting

I think I've always been able to recognize the bad types fairly soon when going out with Chinese or Taiwanese girls. Fortunately, I haven't encountered many of them, especially in Taiwan or so that's my impression.

First of all, it helps to approach strangers on the street or use mainstream online venues such as QQ. Certain websites are bound to attract a high percentage of visa seekers and gold diggers, just like in Russia. I still believe China has plenty of innocent types to choose from. But you need to learn how to recognize them and not get fooled by the others.

When I go out with a girl, and I'm attracted to her, I throw a lot of subtle tests her way, observe her very carefully, and note the kinds of questions she asks and the topics of conversation which interest her. In my experience, its very easy to separate out the genuine types from the undesirables within a few meetings and/or conversations. Of course, the tests must continue as the relationship progresses. Just watching what she does through the slits of your eyes when you pretend to sleep can reveal a lot. If a girl really loves you a lot, its not uncommon that she will just sit next to you and stare at you with contentment on her face as you rest. And just because a girl is genuine does not mean she is necessarily worthy of LT relationship consideration. Sometimes, she will just end up being a physical partner or good friend. You've got to control the process. If you let her gain real control, you are probably going to loose in the longer term, one way or another. Even with my current gf, I've drawn some hard lines which I've never let her breach. And I always have to be ready to walk. If you are strong enough, its pretty easy to manage as long as she's just a gf. Marry her and the power balance changes so you really need to be sure she's an angel before you take that step. And only consider it if she's going to bear you her first child (sacrifice her body and youth for you). If she eventually ends up leaving you for someone else, you can at least take satisfaction that you got her best years and condition. And you will have a child too which is desirable for many.

I don't think you are some sort of con-artist type. And I know you don't like to pretend. So I doubt you will get anywhere with the real scam artist and visa seeker pros. They are not dumb enough to be fooled by someone as straightforward as you. Perhaps some less intelligent and inexperienced types with the wrong motives will fall into your lap. But generally, I always got the best and most enjoyable experiences by far with those who had what I consider pure intentions. I think you would too.

Girls with user type motives are putting on an act. If you are sensitive enough, your intuition should tell you something is off. Don't ignore your gut if something bothers you. On the other hand, just because you feel too comfortable early on does not mean you should discontinue the tests. Some people can act amazingly well in the short run. But sooner or later, she will reveal bad signs. Stay awake. Perfect paranoia is perfect awareness when dealing with these women. And generally, I don't think they are nearly as good at putting on a credible long-term act as their Russian counterparts.

[Repatriate]

And generally, I don't think they are nearly as good at putting on a credible long-term act as their Russian counterparts.

With Chinese women I think it's less about perfecting an acting game but trading up and opportunism. The hardcore Chinese women are pragmatic social climbers. They will latch onto what they think is materially or socially the best thing in their mind then jump ship at a heartbeat. Family stability, loyalty, and love doesn't really exist or only on purely selfish terms.

I haven't met very many of these types but I have seen how they act behind the scenes since there's a couple amongst my distant relatives.

I don't believe most Chinese women are like this either but the bad ones are really terrible in my opinion and maybe even more cunning than American women ie. Wendy Deng.

[Winston]

Are you considering China now, Winston? What do you have to lose?

Well if I get rejected by every girl I'm attracted to, it will hurt my ego of course. And it could drain me financially too, unless I live on a frugal budget there, which would look bad in front of materialistic Chinese women.

Also, the reason I'm skeptical about claims about China being a dating paradise is this. If I never came to Taiwan before, and just read trip reports about it, I would think that Taiwan is a dating paradise too. But it is not at all for me. Women give me no attention, no eye contact and never stop to talk to me. I find it harder to approach women in TW than even in America. They are so reserved and put up a bad vibe around me, that it feels awkward and creepy to try to chat them up. I don't know how to deal with super reserved types of women. I am much more comfortable with open direct relaxed types of foreign women. Reserved women are on a different wavelength, one that I can't really connect with. They are not playful or relaxed around strangers.

Plus, as momopi claimed, TW women are looking for the 3H - height, handsome, and high income - just like American women are, so I don't see what chance I have, even though Rock claims that ALL average American joes that he knows experiences wild success in Taiwan, which totally defies logic, and insinuates that I am somehow "below average".

The point is, people can tell you one thing, but when you go there, you can experience the complete opposite. So you never know. That's why I'm skeptical.

It could also turn out like Russia, where many girls are platonically friendly to me, but rarely ever gets intimate or romantic with me. That would also suck too, but wouldn't be as bad, cause then at least I could feel "free" to be myself and expressive myself, whereas in reserved countries with reserved women, I do not feel free to express myself, openly flirt, or hit on women freely and playfully, which sucks the most. I hate feeling repressed.

Plus, you gotta keep in mind that Chinese women by nature are super picky and have high standards.