Things that make you reconsider going abroad

[OTB]

This is something that has been on my mind fellas and I'm curious to get your thoughts on this topic.

We all know we want to escape this country. But does anyone ever worry about getting married without friends and family being there to see it? Do you think about if you're in some other part of the world that it'll be difficult for your family to see your wife and kids (if you want to have kids)?

I think about these things. What I'm getting at is, the easy way is to find an American girl so you're close to family and you can attend family functions and your parents/family can see your family.

Going abroad does pose certain difficulties; trying to get the family back to see and spend time with your family, saving money, and your kids are growing up away from relatives.

Now me, my plan is to leave. I want out. You guys know already. However, I think about my parents and other relatives and how I would like my wife and kids to see their family. My mother is waiting to be a grandmother and I'm sure my father is also. My mother just mentions it more. I'm sure that would bother her knowing that me and my family are in another country.

This isn't a post about backing out! I'm just curious to know if any of you think about these things.

[The_Adventurer]

My parents have already said that they are glad to come out here and even stay a while. I ran this across my brothers and other family as well. Maybe I would foot the bill in some cases, but I am fine with that. The important thing is they are willing. Many Americans don't even have passports. Even some of my friends are seriously considering getting one and taking the trip.

[OTB]

At least your family is willing to travel. It would be too much of a hassle for my mom, dad, and most of my relatives on my mom's side. I have plenty of relatives on my dad's side who love to travel but I'm not sure they would travel to see me and my family. I'm really just concerned about my mom but like I said it's too much of a hassle for her. She's not very adventurous.

Thanks for your input The_Adventurer.

[ladislav]

My mom would be there in a jiff if I wanted to get married. If they care about you, they will get on the plane and go where you are. Most places in the world are within a 24 hour journey. Same time as it takes to drive to another state.

[chileanueva]

Depends if your parents want to live with you/near you or just visit you periodically.

Personally I don't give a f**k about my family. I am a paranoid isolationist.

I will die alone and watch the world burn as I see my enemies suffer in agony. LONG LIVE MADNESS!

[emh]

Most american adults live far away from their parents. I can only think of one or two friends who live in the same state as their parents. So it's an issue for most Americans, even those who choose to stay in the US. For example, my parents live in Ohio and my sister and her family live in South Carolina. My parents normally visit about 2 weeks a year and my sister goes to Ohio one week a year. Other than that, they use skype.

Heck, I have another sister who still lives in the same city as our parents. Even her son doesn't see his grandparents that much cause everyone's so busy.

[davewe]

Most american adults live far away from their parents. I can only think of one or two friends who live in the same state as their parents. So it's an issue for most Americans, even those who choose to stay in the US. For example, my parents live in Ohio and my sister and her family live in South Carolina. My parents normally visit about 2 weeks a year and my sister goes to Ohio one week a year. Other than that, they use skype.

Heck, I have another sister who still lives in the same city as our parents. Even her son doesn't see his grandparents that much cause everyone's so busy.

Exactly! My last wedding had two receptions - on the West Coast where we lived and on the East Coast where much of the family lived. Double the cost and even then, some family members did now show up, including my father who considered it too far to drive. So if I ever got married again, other than my kids, I would not care. OTOH, if she is from a 3rd world country - she will care about having her family there. So that may be a bigger issue.

But to answer your broader question. If I live abroad I wll come home periodically to see my family. Other than that I do not care. But then I am older than you and my mom is deceased.

[jcris7]

From a clinical/developmental psych perspective, by the time we reach 17/18, it is normal to branch off and begin living independently from the family unit. The desire to break away from family and their influences is also a very healthy sign of growth into adulthood. You begin to see the world from your own experiences and perspectives.

It varies on how close you are and how much you care. Family can be a blessing. They have your back if your ass gets into a serious jam. But it can also be an anchoring curse to your freedom to live your life and find your own happiness. If you were around strong parental figures that emphasized closeness and "sticking together", it is a dangerous recipe for enmeshment if an offspring member has a weaker personality that submits to parental authority more easily. Once you try to get away, its a huge shock to family. They can and will resent you for being away for periods longer than what they are used to, and even guilt trip you into staying.

Family will have to accept that you need to do what you need to do. If they don't, they truly aren't supportive of you, and aren't deserving of the title of "family".

[FREEDOM1]

PLEASE Ban - Chileanueva

Chileanueva needs to be banned from this forum
he is an obvious troll or an absolute nutcase
either way all his posts advocate killing of some type and are extremely negative
please ban this troll asap - he is degrading the quality of this forum
below is his latest post among many other ridiculous ones i have
seen in last few days- as im sure many of you have.

QUOTE - chileanueva
Depends if your parents want to live with you/near you or just visit you periodically.

Personally I don't give a f**k about my family. I am a paranoid isolationist.

I will die alone and watch the world burn as I see my enemies suffer in agony. LONG LIVE MADNESS!

[chileanueva]

Why does everything only have to be HAPPY AND POSITIVE ALL THE TIME?

The truth is the GOOD, BAD, and the UGLY. I tell it like it is. f**k it, if you like it or not. Imma BE ME.

Winston is a flawed human being like me. You claim to be his friend, but you all make fun of him and put him down.

Learn some Man Respect before you step up to a real gangster like me.

[Taco]

Going abroad does pose certain difficulties;

Some guys are so used to dating fat, loud, arrogant, bitchy women they can't make the adjustment to sweet, femine, thin, sexy normal women, I'm totally serious. The thought of breaking up with their bitch girlfriend gives them withdrawl symptoms, their addicted to the very women they hate and they like being treated like shit. I've been to "White Woman Rehab" and I'm never going back, I had nightmares for about 2 years with the last one I dated.