Do you prefer to approach or be approached by women?

[OzGuy]

Ok I want to dispel a myth here. Most women think that the man WANTS to be the one to approach them and do all the chasing. Their excuse being that men would somehow feel "emasculised" or be intimidated by a woman who approaches them.

I would much rather have women approach me than having to approach them. Approaching women means we have to face anxiety, fear of rejection, embarassment, abuse, and possibly even a lawsuit. Not to mention how flattering it must be if women actually approached us. You would then get the luxury of having to pick and choose who you want. Women argue that men somehow have it better in this regard, because they get to "choose" who they approach. How does this even make logical sense? What really annoys me is that women want equality with men, yet when it comes to dating they don't want such "equality" or responsibility. Having true equality would also mean having to approach men. This is another classic example of how feminists "cherry pick" the so called "equality" that only suits them. Remember - its only equality if women agree to it.

I think one of the best ways to find an "easy" country for dating, is to look at the men and hear what women are saying about them. Countries with men who approach women a lot means that: a) there is far too much competition; b) women have inflated ego's of themselves; c) not as many women available or single; and d) women are likely to be more picky. I have been doing some research, and out of western Europe it appears that the German speaking countries would be the best places for men. I have seen many articles about how German men don't flirt, don't approach women, are shy etc. Many women even complain about this, especially Anglo women who go there for the first time - "In Germany I never got approached by any men, unlike the US where i'd get approached all the time" blah blah blah, cry me a f***ing river. Stay away from countries like France, and southern European countries like Italy, Spain, etc... as I hear women talk about how great it is to have foreign men approaching them on the street.

Yes, obviously the Ukraine and Russia are the best places on earth for women, but I have citizenship to all European countries that are part of the EU. Obviously it would be a lot easier to move to one of these countries. Germany/Austria/Switzerland are also reasonably close to Ukraine/Russia, so there are more likely to be women here from those countries. It is also only a short plane ride to go there and visit.

Has anyone had a woman approach them before? It has only ever happened to me once, but that was after dropping some pretty obvious hints in conversations with friends about how I think the woman should also ask men out. So technically this doesn't count, because I doubt she would have otherwise. I also tend to think that the few women who approach men are more likely to know what they want, be more independent and won't rely on a man for money.

So anyway, do you prefer to approach women, or have them approach you?

[shiryu400]

I prefer it if women approach me because I know they're the ones who choose. So I agree with what you wrote. Because I think it's pretty much common knowledge that if the girl doesn't like you, there's absolutely NOTHING you can do to make her like you. Men don't really choose unless a bunch of women choose them first.

[jamesbond]

I was in health food store years ago and a black woman approached me and started a conversation with me. She was very good looking but she mentioned to me that she was a single mother. She was extreamly friendly and was beautiful but she was a single mother, so I did not ask her for her number.

One other time I was in a barnes and noble bookstore about 10 years ago and an unattractive white girl came up (she did not work there, she was a customer like me) to me and asked me what kind of self help books I like to read. She also asked me if I live in the area. I was not attracted to her at all, that's why I did not ask her for her number.

I have noticed that in the US, the only women who seem to be friendly towards men are women who are black, hispanic, asian or women who are single mothers.

The most unfriendly women in the US are good looking, young white women. They are getting pursued by so many guys that they think they are God's gift to men!

[mehendicant]

I am an aspie and an introvert, so I prefer to be approached. My current GF turned travel companion (we haven't traveled yet, but she visits BZ and is aware of my intent to look overseas) found me on a dating site and sent me the first message. I had sent some other women messages and got no response.

[ExpeditionSailor]

I would like being approached and asked out, because not only would it feel like a real ego-boost and a bit of validation, but it would also let me know the woman is really and truly interested in me, and not going to flake out on me.

Sadly, though, I'm so ugly that no woman would ever approach me - at least not here in my home country. It's a good thing that maybe some foreign woman would accept me, otherwise I'd be getting a gun or a piece of rope and ending it all.

[jamesbond]

I think one of the best ways to find an "easy" country for dating, is to look at the men and hear what women are saying about them. Countries with men who approach women a lot means that: a) there is far too much competition; b) women have inflated ego's of themselves; c) not as many women available or single; and d) women are likely to be more picky.

I have been doing some research, and out of western Europe it appears that the German speaking countries would be the best places for men. I have seen many articles about how German men don't flirt, don't approach women, are shy etc. Many women even complain about this, especially Anglo women who go there for the first time - "In Germany I never got approached by any men, unlike the US where i'd get approached all the time" blah blah blah, cry me a f***ing river. Stay away from countries like France, and southern European countries like Italy, Spain, etc... as I hear women talk about how great it is to have foreign men approaching them on the street.

Yes, obviously the Ukraine and Russia are the best places on earth for women, but I have citizenship to all European countries that are part of the EU. Obviously it would be a lot easier to move to one of these countries. Germany/Austria/Switzerland are also reasonably close to Ukraine/Russia, so there are more likely to be women here from those countries. It is also only a short plane ride to go there and visit.

Yes, in countries where women get pursued by a lot of men (Uk, US, Canada, Australia) the women tend to be more picky, have higher standards and are more arrogant (since so many men are pursuing them, they think they are the greatest thing since sliced bread).

You compare this to countries where men don't pursue women hardly at all, like Germany, Russia and Ukraine. These women tend to be friendly, down to earth, humble and happy when a guy approaches them and asks them out.

Doing "day game" and "sarging" doesn't work in anglo-countries because women in those countries have a ton of guys pursuing them already. Take for instance face book, where even a girl who is fat or ugly will have guys sending her messages saying things like, "you are so beautiful, I would love to meet you sometime." This inflates the girls ego and she then thinks she is better looking than she really is!

Dating sites like Match.com and Yahoo Personals have about 80% men and only 20% women. So, the women are being bombarded with guys sending them messages all the time. Women in anglo-countries have it so easy in the dating field, they are spoiled rotten. Now I see why even women who look like human whale shit, have high standards when it comes to the type of men they date.

[Fenix]

Before I changed my appearance, I got shot down by women. I looked like Steve Urkel. When I changed my appearance to the way I look now (looked like this since 2001), women would approach me. I shave my head, have a mustache and a goatee. Women say I look like 2Pac and DMX. I don't prefer to get approached. Things just happen. I remember being in vocational school and there was this cute white girl I saw. I knew she was new because I got to see all of the new students every Tuesday. Anyway, we were at dinner and I was behind the white girl. She just began to talk to me. We were talking in the line the whole time and she gave me her number. We talked on the phone a lot. This was back in 2004.

I don't remember the last time I approached a girl in the US. I usually get approached by them or things just happen.

[OzGuy]

Dating sites like Match.com and Yahoo Personals have about 80% men and only 20% women. So, the women are being bombarded with guys sending them messages all the time. Women in anglo-countries have it so easy in the dating field, they are spoiled rotten. Now I see why even women who look like human whale shit, have high standards when it comes to the type of men they date.

I don't even bother with Anglo dating sites anymore, they are simply a waste of time and energy. Instead, I am putting all my focus into moving overseas - it is a lot more productive.

I once had an average looking female friend who signed up to a dating site for the first time. She said on the first few days she received 200 hundred messages! Imagine what that must be like if you had 200 women sending you messages! It would never happen (to that extent), not even in the best of countries such as Ukraine or Russia. To even come close to this, you'd have to be a famous celebrity, a billionaire, own a mansion and drive a Ferrari or some shit.

[tom]

I have the aspie thing going too. Now I have no problem.
I more or less just position myself correctly, Its a form of approaching.
The way I learned this was by experience, I did this by going overseas, I studies Socioncs in Ukraine, part of my travels.
When I was younger I got nowhere and I was poor, women would not give me the time of day.
Now I have financial success, no thanks to any woman, I can do as I please go where I like.
I have many experiences, which were greatly accelerated by my overseas travels.

Like this guy who motorcycled across Sibera and other places.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vx3XEIVTsQ

There are so many things you can do as a guy

One of the things I have learned is women are often so full of bullshit, they pretend they are rich when they are absolutely dirt poor. They have never done something on there own initiative - traveling etc. And are fearful of everything but pretend the opposite. You realize most of them have nothing going for them, they are all bullshit they have simple boring lives with few options.

[E_Irizarry]

I prefer B-O-T-H actually.

Hence I get to choose what I truly want; they choose me out of revalidating my external worth and/or my personality/character's worth to the opposite sex, and then I can choose based off of that.

It bidirectionally works for me. :O)

[Someone]

Good topic... LOL. I swear, everytime I come to this forum, I see someone's already opened a thread about the exact things I've been thinking about.

Back to the topic at hand,

I was recently in New York and I can tell you for sure women approach guys there themselves. On the NYC subway I've had 20-something girls flirt with me and I'm nothing much to look at. Does anyone here live in NYC? It's like an island inside in the USA.

Flirting is a cultural thing. In America, women prize safety above all. But here's another thing, the United States is a vastly multiethnic/multiracial country, especially in bigger cities.

Who exactly do you have in mind when you say "young white women"? Do you mean girls who are of Anglo-Saxon or German ancestry? If you're not of their genetic stock (tall & blond), then it's no use trying to flirt with them, they're not interested. But also, they are reserved by nature. Anglo and Northern-European cultures don't really have flirting in their genes.

[OzGuy]

Good topic... LOL. I swear, everytime I come to this forum, I see someone's already opened a thread about the exact things I've been thinking about.

Back to the topic at hand,

I was recently in New York and I can tell you for sure women approach guys there themselves. On the NYC subway I've had 20-something girls flirt with me and I'm nothing much to look at. Does anyone here live in NYC? It's like an island inside in the USA.

Interesting, would have never thought this.

Flirting is a cultural thing. In America, women prize safety above all. But here's another thing, the United States is a vastly multiethnic/multiracial country, especially in bigger cities.

That's one difference between the US and Australia. In the US people (both men and women) seem to have more fear generally. I guess this probably stems from terrorism and a higher crime rate.

Who exactly do you have in mind when you say "young white women"? Do you mean girls who are of Anglo-Saxon or German ancestry? If you're not of their genetic stock (tall & blond), then it's no use trying to flirt with them, they're not interested. But also, they are reserved by nature. Anglo and Northern-European cultures don't really have flirting in their genes.

I meant Anglo-Saxon women. Also I prefer quiet/reserved girls over the loud/outgoing types. So even though it might be more difficult initially, at least your chances are still higher due to the lack of competition. Its the end result which is important.

[NorthAmericanguy]

Well, a guy like me really does not care one way or the other because I simply don't care about women aside from the aspect of getting a nut.

But for you guys that like to be approached by women, just keep in mind that many women (not all) are predatory by nature, so if a woman chooses you, the chances are good that you have something of value that she wants which is the TRUE reason why she is pursuing you in the first place.


Random reasons why women pursue men (this list is not comprehensive):

• They are already pregnant by another man and they think you will be a better daddy.
• They want a baby and they think you will be a good daddy.
• They lost their job and they are about to be evicted.
• You have a nice house and car so she wants to move in and associate herself with your success.
• They want to quit their pathetic job.
• They're in huge debt and they need help.
• They live at home and they want to move out but they can't do it alone.
• They're a single mom and they are looking for help raising the baby.
• They're running from various problems from their past and they're looking for you to save them.
• They want to associate themselves with your status.
• They're looking to get married and they think you will be a good husband.
• To use you as a rebound guy or to make her x boyfriend jealous.

So in other words, yes, women chose men, but there is always a REASON why a woman chooses you, and so, it's your job as a smart man to figure out why she chose you, and what her agenda is.

[S_Parc]

• They're looking to get married and they think you will be a good husband.
• To use you as a rebound guy or to make her x boyfriend jealous.

So in other words, yes, women chose men, but there is always a REASON why a woman chooses you, and so, it's your job as a smart man to figure out why she chose you, and what her agenda is.

For me, the last reason, making another guy jealous, has often been the case.

And then, of course, the whole 30+ crowd who're looking for a starter husband.

[NorthAmericanguy]

^ Starter husband...lol Pfff, these Western girls are crazy.