Recent Trips to Philippines

[Repatriate]

You know Repat, everyone seems to say that and I believe it. The tall, light skinned, model types are strongly in demand by the majority of heterosexual local guys. And even tasteless white farangs appreciate them.

I have seen pretty faced girls with absolutely flat asses and no breasts to speak of who are adored by Thai men. From what i've seen Thai men seem to focus a lot on the attractiveness of the face and skin color over height. A light skinned girl with a pretty face and below average skinny body will still be treasured. A lot of these girls tend to dress well/stuff their bra to improve their overall appearance. It's easy for them to carry it off because of their pretty face.

A dark skinned girl with a pretty face and a body..less valued. A girl with a fantastic body, darker skin, and an average face..not valued at all and fairly common.

I think this sort of preference for a pretty face has to do with the fact that a lot of Thai girls have nice bodies but attractive faces are rare. The SEA "monkey face" is pretty common here as I imagine it is in the Philippines. I'm not sure if it's from malay or old Khmer roots or what but in SEA the angular crude looking jawline/cheekbones is very common. Winston made an observation about how crude and unrefined the facial features of Filipinas look in comparison with Chinese women and other NE Asian women. I have to agree with that..it's a big difference.

A lot of western men don't seem to care as much about the face but focus more on base body traits like big breasts, curves, shapely ass etc.. It's pretty noticeable because I see a lot of guys with girlfriends who have shapely bodies but pretty typical SEA pug looking faces. I believe this preference for body over face is where the "farang date ugly girls" comments are based off aside from the skin color part of it.

But, let me share something else I've discovered over the years from much trial and error. Contrary to popular opinion, the plump and even somewhat overweight girls are also very much in demand by a significant number of well-qualified local guys if they are taller + lighter skinned and/or have nice curves and/or have a cute or attractive face.

True, some Thai men go for extremes on both ends I don't doubt that at all. It seems like a lot of older wealthy Thai guys appreciate a little chubbiness on their women as well. I've seen it before as well. I just don't see it in the mainstream that much. I have a feeling one of the Filipinas I know here fits your spec pretty well. Too bad she's married to a Thai guy but she's tall, light skinned (half Chinese), and is very curvy. She definitely has a body type that's way curvier than your average Thai girl. Her Thai husband is a middle class guy and I think she fit the preference you are talking about.


What does it for me are a nice pair of legs (tall) and a pretty face. I couldn't give a shit about skin color or breast size.

[Winston]

Great trip report Rock. I don't understand how Filipina #4 would be so hard to meet? She's not attractive at all in my opinion and kind of pudgy with a boringly plain face/body. Even a lot of the regular Thai-Chinese girls would look stunning next to her in both fashion sense and basic facial features.

Oh yeah. In Manila, I've seen tons of girls who look like her in the malls. They are very stuck up and seem angry, almost like spoiled American girls. Even if they are sitting and eating by themselves, if I try to start a conversation, they either ignore me or just quickly nod and turn away. They are very introverted and not that friendly at all. Maybe it's because she's middle class and sheltered.

But still, I don't see why they are snobby. They have nothing to be proud of, coming from a country with an average IQ of 85, where a majority of people are in total poverty, and where all other Asian countries look down upon as being low class, low quality and low culture. I should start telling these snobby middle class Filipinos on Facebook those exact words. lol

[xiongmao]

Nice trip report, Rock!

Given how thin the Chinese girls were who were being photographed in their wedding dressed in Guangzhou's Shamian Island, I can only assume that Chinese men go for the tall stick thin women as well.

I haven't seen many hot Filipinas though - I saw 1000's of Filipinas massing around HK's financial district on their day off and I didn't see any hotties there at all.

Many Filipinas do enter the wrong details in dating sites - there are hundreds of ladyboys on Filipino Kisses who clearly aren't ladyboys. I'm pretty sure none of the women I've dated have been the height they claimed to be either!

Short dark skinned women aren't so popular in China either, but I've found them to be good dating material. Cantonese girls especially so, because they tend not to be so snappy and difficult as the women from the North.

[Repatriate]

But still, I don't see why they are snobby. They have nothing to be proud of, coming from a country with an average IQ of 85, where a majority of people are in total poverty, and where all other Asian countries look down upon as being low class, low quality and low culture. I should start telling these snobby middle class Filipinos on Facebook those exact words. lol

From what i've seen a lot of it is just insecurity. A lot of these women know what the perceptions are and cop extreme hard to get attitudes. Some Thai women do the same thing, they overcompensate big time with snobbery and xenophobia because they know how some foreigners judge them. Except that once Thai women get to know you they tend to warm up much faster.

The Filipinos I can actually have frank conversations with more or less admit the Philippines is a shit hole but a lot of them have this pride about their heritage because it's just human nature to protect your identity no matter how shitty it really is.

If you think about it Filipinos are in a very difficult position. They have a culture that surrounding countries find alien, essentially non-asian, and even somewhat distasteful. They are Catholic, which is again considered alien non-asian. Plus Filipinos have a fairly low reputation of being servants, laborers, etc.. in the rest of Asia. Plus the country itself ranks in the low tiers on corruption indices. There aren't many options for them at all. In fact i'd say they are pretty screwed for probably at least another half century.

[Repatriate]

I haven't seen many hot Filipinas though - I saw 1000's of Filipinas massing around HK's financial district on their day off and I didn't see any hotties there at all.

It's probably because most Filipinas in HK are low level service workers. I doubt you can expect to find beauty queens amongst any service/laborer types.

Short dark skinned women aren't so popular in China either, but I've found them to be good dating material. Cantonese girls especially so, because they tend not to be so snappy and difficult as the women from the North.

From what i've seen and what (mostly Singaporean) expats have also told me the best looking Chinese girls come from the northern provinces or the sichuan area. Women from the sichuan area tend to have fuller bodies as well as pretty faces. A lot of Singaporean guys are into breast size heh. Northern Chinese are beautiful according to classic asian beauty..ie. tall, slim, porcelain skin, and pretty faces.

The southern Chinese girls tend to be shorter with darker skin. Most Chinese-Americans in the U.S. and Canada have southern Chinese roots.

[green1976]

If i can simplify how mainstream Thais would consider an attribute attractive or not,here's my list based on what i have seen and remarked.
Let's make a recap.

Thai female.

-White Skin=attractive
-Dark skin=unattractive

-Slim(even too slim for us..)=attractive
-Fat(not just chubby but fat)=unattractive

-Boobs(medium tend to be big)=attractive
-Boobs(small or almost nonexistent)=less attractive

-Tall(around 170 cm and more)=attractive
-Small(less than 160)=less attractive

-Not so flat nose,oval type face=attractive
-Very flat nose,facial type like Cambodia=unattractive

It will be really easy to found some pics on the internet to see what is considered an attractive face versus a not one.

So now,and the list is not exhaustive,let look in what is to be found physically attractive in a male..specifically a falang male.

-White skin=attractive
-Dark skin=less attractive

-Slim=attractive
-Fat,big belly=unattractive( and overly muscular body type too is not a plus)

-Nose high bridge=attractive
-Flat nose=less attractive

-Few body hair=attractive
-To much body hair=unattractive

-No beard,no mustache=attractive
-Beard,mustache=unattractive

-No bald,full set of hair=attractive
-Bald=unattractive

-Tall(more than 180)=attractive
-Small(165 and less)=less attractive

We could see some similarities between females and males on what is considered attractive.

The importance of one of these factors are not so equal between the gender for example the skin color where in females is more a matter.

If a westerner,and i didn't use the age subject as it is obvious,want to date a Thai women who is classified as attractive(more competition,feeling of entitlement)he would be in a better position is himself is attractive(not rocket science but it make me laugh when some falang forget how they look themselves and think they are god like in Thailand so a reality check is needed in some case)

Well i would say if a guy is considered attractive or very attractive,similar in age,he will have the possibility to date a good looking girl in Thailand but it will be easier if she is from a non wealthy family compared to a wealthy one.

I've found some very good looking one were poor..they had inside them the Chinese blood but weren't wealthy at all.

If a guy is in the unattractive pocket(and still this is the average expat but less tourist)he will have difficulty to date the attractive one and the money can't help everything.
Of course age difference is a big plus or a minus.

Those who are considered pretty are to be found normally around Chiang Mai and BKK(white skin,tall..)

Those who are considered more on the ugly type can be found around the Cambodian frontier so let's say Isaan of the East.
It's quit easy to get a date there because so many chicks know they are not pretty by Thai standard so as they are not so in demand,then can fall very easily to a falang and it's a winning status for them.

[Rock]

Last few weeks, I visited PI twice - once on way to Thailand and once on way back. Also had the surprise pleasure of meeting-up with Dragonboy part of the trip (first meeting).

This time, I went to Makati, Angeles, Baguio, and Silay (next to Bacolod). I also met-up with several girls from Filipino Cupid.

THE GOOD NEWS

1. Not everyone you are likely to meet there fits the dumb as rocks stereotype and survives on handouts as per previous rants.

In Metro Manila area, I met 4 from Filipino Cupid and another one at a 7-11:

Ist is a call center consultant who made around 45,000 Pesos a month and spoke American English with almost no accent. But she was nice, fun, and easygoing.

2nd is an elementary school teacher who also spoke extremely good English. While she only makes around 15,000 per month, she is intellectually curious, enjoys long drawn out discussions about a broad range of topics, and once in awhile will even use a word I don't know. I invited her to view the forum and she spent a few hours pouring over the many topics. Just today, she wrote and told me that she also fits into the introvert slot quite well as per another recent thread.

3rd is a nursing student with a great command of English who is very well spoken. Some members in her extended family are relatively well-off with one owning a big luxury condo in Rockwell. She sports the latest I-Phone yet seems very down to earth.

4th is a student whose father earned over 200K per month working as engineer in Middle East.

5th is a student (met in 7-11 with her older sister) who grew up in Dubai and sounded/behaved more like an American than Filipina.

Common points of these 5 girls:

- Spoke and wrote very good English, had solid education, and were conversational in a broad range of topics

- Were looking for potential mates under the age of 40 (already generous considering their young ages)

- Seemed a lot more interested in finding guys who sparked natural attraction than those with exceptional financial ability. A couple even expressed dismay when seeing very old foreigners with much younger Filipinas walking around in public and felt sorry for the girls involved.

- Were 5'4" or over, one was 5'10"

- In spite of the above points, none were konyos (conos). They were just solid middle class girls.

2. People in Philippines seemed generally easygoing and polite. I encounter fewer people there who act very nasty (at least towards or in front of me) than in most other Asian countries.

3. Most young children seem very happy, secure, and content, especially out in the province areas I've visited.

4. In spite of the many bad things I've read, I still believe that many Filipinas are on average more prepared to accept the old-school traditional template of serving husband and creating a family with him for life than girls in other parts of Asia I've observed. They are also more eager on average to enter long-term relationships with westerners.

THE BAD NEWS

1. The living environment of all places I've been so far is either dreadful or boring, sometimes both. As Winston has rightly ranted, food all over PI is probably the worst in Asia - least tasty and most unhealthy, but some areas are worse than others.

Makati/Manila: Horrible air pollution from jeepneys, very complicated, noisy, dirty, and inefficient transport with taxis difficult to get during busy times. Can take hours to get across town. I developed a nasty cough there, first I've had in years. Some OK food can be found with effort, especially in Makati, Ermita, and MoA area.

Pampanga (Angeles): Better than Manila but still annoying noise pollution from trikes, bad air, and frequent harassing from touts and beggars in tourist areas. Some OK food can be found with effort given large number of foreigners.

Cebu: Better, smaller, and more convenient environment than Manila. But fewer attractive local girls than Metro Manila or Pampanga unless you count the many Korean students who are virtually unapproachable. Some OK food can be found with effort given large number of foreigners.

Baguio: Cool temps (similar to San Francisco), cleaner and better organized than other areas I've seen in PI. But way too much rain many times of year, small, and boring. In spite of large number of students, I almost saw no very attractive girls outside of foreigners. Some OK food available in malls and a few hotels.

Silay (Bacolod area): Less expensive with many warm, sweet, and friendly people. But very boring, pathetic malls, backward infrastructure, turtle slow Internet, super inconvenient. No decent food anywhere I went. Would go crazy there after just few days.

Cagayan de Oro: Very boring, disorganized, dirty, and inconvenient for such a large city. Almost no attractive girls to be seen. Bad food, rinky dink downtown area, overpriced hotels, few entertainment venues. Not recommended unless you have a girl there you really wanna see.

Subic Bay: Decent environment, well organized, some OK food, visible Filipino middle class and significant number Koreans. Nearby beach (popular for scuba diving) and horse back riding trails. But spread out, inconvenient transport, and not so warm or friendly locals.

2. Putting aside individual tastes, there are some near universally accepted metrics which can be compared across countries to gauge relative attractiveness of women. IMO, Filipinas tend to do very badly on such measures when compared to women in places like NE Asia, Thailand, Europe, and even the most of the Americas and Australia / NZ. Even some parts of Africa do better. Some of these are similar to the ones listed by Green1976 to describe Thai taste but there are difference too. It basically boils down to health and youth.

a. Skin quality: Very small pore size, high elasticity, smooth texture, even color, and lack of moles or other marks is a sign of beauty and youth.

b. Stature: Some guys like taller girls, other prefer them shorter. But chronic short stature in a population is strongly correlated with extreme poverty and poor health. Just consider that the average height in S. Korea is about 4 inches higher than that in N. Korea. Generally, women are widely regarded as more attractive as they get taller up to a certain point.

c. Breasts and body tissue: Firm perky breasts are much more attractive than droopy saggy ones regardless of size. Toned and taut body skin, muscle, and fat tissue is more attractive that excess skin combined with loose muscles and sagging fat.

d. Facial proportion: There are fairly universal standards for facial attractiveness. Generally, if one part is out of balance with the rest, the face becomes less attractive. For example, exaggerated cheek bones, an under or over developed jaw, chin, or bite, or a mid-face which is too long or short can detract from a person's appearance.

e. Nose: A higher and more refined nose, assuming it's in good proportion to rest of the face, is more attractive than a wide and flat one.

f. Waist-to-hip ratio: Generally, 0.65 to 0.75 is ideal for women with attractiveness diminishing as this ratio rises.

g. Leg-to-body length ratio: The higher the more attractive, up to a point.

h. Skin color: Extremely dark or albino white is less attractive than more moderate tones. This is even true for black Africans. In Asia, the typical color common among NE Asians is generally considered most attractive but this is just a regional taste.

i. Body size: Generally, the slimmer, the better, up to a point.

FILIPINAS VS. OTHER WOMEN ACCORDING TO MY OBSERVATIONS AND VISUAL JUDGEMENTS

2a: Filipinas tend to be very bad, probably due to frequent exposure to strong tropical sun and intense air pollution from unregulated exhaust and/or charcoal cooking. In my experience, a typical 20-25 year-old Filipina often has skin quality as bad or even worse than an average 30-40+ year old Taiwan woman.

2b: With the exception of some isolated groups such as Pygmies, Filipinas are on average some of the shortest women on the planet. This is probably due in part to not getting adequate nutrition and protein.

3c: I've noticed that many young childless Filipinas have surprisingly droopy breasts, especially when compared to NE Asians or lighter skinned Thais. Loose skin is common too, probably due to lack of exercise and unfortunate genetics. Filipina mothers are very often going to have damaged breasts and sagging stomach skin. The same often does not hold true NE Asian moms.

3d: A significant number of Filipinas seem to have apparent bite problems - protruding upper teeth or overbite combined with an underdeveloped chin. Many also have oversized cheek bones relative to the rest of their face. Not that other Asians are all perfect. For example, many S. Koreans seem to have oversized lower jaw bones and/or protruding cheekbones. But many of these cases, especially the more extreme ones, get handled well by skilled cosmetic and maxillofacial surgeons widely available in S. Korea.

3e: The default nose for Filipinas is wide with a low bridge, not attractive.

3f: Filipinas seem to fall in line with the Asian average here which is higher (ie worse) than that for in-shape so-called Caucasians or blacks (sorry for using broad brush US concept of race here Lad).

3g: Filipinas seem to fall in line with the Asian average here which is lower (ie worse) than that for so-called Caucasians or especially blacks (sorry for using broad brush US concept of race here Lad).

3h: Filipinas tend to have medium brown skin complexions. This is an attractive color for many westerners. But in Asia, its widely regarded as inferior to the NE Asian white-yellowish color. Unfortunately for the majoirty of Filipinas, skin color is widely regarded as a marker for socioeconomic status in Asia with the lighter NE Asian look at top and darker skinned people at bottom.

3i: Filipinas are on average a lot slimmer than American women. But in an Asian context, they are probably significantly fatter along with Thais.

Developed NE Asia blows the PI away on almost all metrics discussed above. So does, SP, Thailand, and the developed coastal areas of China plus most of the northern provinces of the country. Rest of China is still much better as is Malaysia. That leaves Indonesia, Burma, Vietnam, and Laos, none of which I've spent enough time in to have developed much of an opinion on.


THE EXCEPTIONS

There are exceptions. In PI among the cities and regions visited, I've found that most stand-out attractive girls who do not fall much if at all within the analysis above are either in Metro Manila or Pampanga (natives, not harder core working gals who tend to migrate there from Samar and Leyte). I believe these overwhelmingly tend to be konyos, Filipina Chinese, those with some Spanish, other white, or even African blood, or others from upper-middle and above classes. Even if not, they are likely to get a lot of attention from the very most qualified local men and expats given their rarity there. So if you find that proverbial needle in the haystack and she's open to you, better grab her fast or she'll be gone before you know it.

[Repatriate]

Rest of China is still much better as is Malaysia. That leaves Indonesia, Burma, Vietnam, and Laos, none of which I've spent enough time in to have developed much of an opinion on.

Laotian women tend to look like Isaan Thais but usually with a more golden/light brown hue instead of dark brown like Isaan types usually have. They also have a mixed ethnic Chinese population (albeit much much smaller) so many Laotian women can have fair clean complexions too. I didn't notice that many stunning women though. I think it's because the population is relatively small and even in Vientianne I felt like tourists outweighed the locals in many areas.

Vietnamese women are the most NEA looking out of the SEA women. I'd say the major thing Vietnamese women have going for them is that a significant % have very cute or pretty faces according to NE asian standards of beauty. This is probably why so many NE Asian men marry Vietnamese women. I see less of the SEA monkey face or aboriginal look that you see in a lot of Filipinos, ethnic Malays, Cambodians, or Thais. Vietnamese women do tend to be shorter on average though but in my limited time spent in HCMC I saw quite a few cute women. They also seem more poised and overall just classier than Thais too when you talk with them.

[Raja]

You know Repat, everyone seems to say that and I believe it. The tall, light skinned, model types are strongly in demand by the majority of heterosexual local guys. And even tasteless white farangs appreciate them.

But, let me share something else I've discovered over the years from much trial and error. Contrary to popular opinion, the plump and even somewhat overweight girls are also very much in demand by a significant number of well-qualified local guys if they are taller + lighter skinned and/or have nice curves and/or have a cute or attractive face. Yes, they are probably classified as fat. But they've been a much bigger challenge for me than the garden variety types there - lighter or darker skinned. Once in awhile I do see a taller Thai with Latin type curves too. Whenever I have the balls to investigate, I usually find she's well set with an good looking and successful partner. Many of the bigger girls consider themselves attractive or better even while they acknowledge that they are 'big' for Thai standards. The biggest exceptions I've seen to this tendency towards strong self confidence are the ones who have unattractive faces.

So if larger and heavier girls are not so much in demand, what explains my personal experience above? My theory on this boils down to supply vs. demand. Even in Thailand, there is a signficant subset of guys who, like me, prefer taller and curvier girls in contrast to the mainstream ideal. And there is a certain subset of local girls who, to some extent, match this preference. Perhaps the subset of guys who have it is much larger than the subset of girls who match it? Never underestimate the value of scarcity.

I always tell guys look at Filipino TV when they talk about skinny and fat. At the top end the society has a fatter standard then most westerners who expect an athletic build or supermodel thin they have grown accustomed to. I would say that their leading ladies would be in the chubby best friend role or the Ugly Betty roles if they attempted to work in Hollywood.

[Billy]

+1 rock

[Repatriate]

I always tell guys look at Filipino TV when they talk about skinny and fat. At the top end the society has a fatter standard then most westerners who expect an athletic build or supermodel thin they have grown accustomed to. I would say that their leading ladies would be in the chubby best friend role or the Ugly Betty roles if they attempted to work in Hollywood.

It's not that being chubby is innately unattractive but obesity, floppy tits, and saggy bad skin certainly is. A woman can definitely be heavier than the western model look but very attractive. It's just that Filipinas tend to have all the other bad traits that Rock already mentioned.

[PaulB]

Vietnamese women are the most NEA looking out of the SEA women. I'd say the major thing Vietnamese women have going for them is that a significant % have very cute or pretty faces according to NE asian standards of beauty. This is probably why so many NE Asian men marry Vietnamese women. I see less of the SEA monkey face or aboriginal look that you see in a lot of Filipinos, ethnic Malays, Cambodians, or Thais. Vietnamese women do tend to be shorter on average though but in my limited time spent in HCMC I saw quite a few cute women. They also seem more poised and overall just classier than Thais too when you talk with them.

Interesting how we (men, in general) can have such different tastes. In HCMC I found Vietnamese women very average looking (lots of 4s, 5s, and 6s, with very few 8s, 9s and 10s). Different story in Hanoi though.

[Rock]

Vietnamese women are the most NEA looking out of the SEA women. I'd say the major thing Vietnamese women have going for them is that a significant % have very cute or pretty faces according to NE asian standards of beauty. This is probably why so many NE Asian men marry Vietnamese women. I see less of the SEA monkey face or aboriginal look that you see in a lot of Filipinos, ethnic Malays, Cambodians, or Thais. Vietnamese women do tend to be shorter on average though but in my limited time spent in HCMC I saw quite a few cute women. They also seem more poised and overall just classier than Thais too when you talk with them.

Interesting how we (men, in general) can have such different tastes. In HCMC I found Vietnamese women very average looking (lots of 4s, 5s, and 6s, with very few 8s, 9s and 10s). Different story in Hanoi though.

Sure, we may have different tastes regarding some things. But I'm pretty sure if you look closely at the list of traits I focused on, there is farily universal agreement on what's attractive and what's not. For example, almost all men find women with high quality youthful skin more attractive than those with poor skin quality, all else equal.

The point of my analysis was to bring a measure of objectivity into the relative attractiveness discussions which often come-up when we compare girls from one country to another.

I'd especially be interested in the thoughts of certain posters who seem to find many Filipinas beautiful such as Davewe and Outwest. Do you agree that the traits I brought-up are important in judging the overall attractivness of a girl? If so, do you believe that my observations based on personal travel there and elsewhere are farily accurate? Or perhaps there are other areas of the PI which has a higher percentage of more attractive types? After all, I've only been to a few cities and areas. If so, what areas and/or cities are they - Davao, Zambuanga, Dumaguete, others?

I've sincerely tried to find an area of PI where a decent number of relatively attractive girls can be found, (based on criteria from my previous post) can be found and in the context of East and SE Asia, who also tend to be reasonably friendly and open. So far, I've not succeeded. So Outwest, Davewe, others, is there any place other than perhaps Boracay (often flooded with more attrative tourists from higher classes or other parts of Asia)?

To those of you who argue that Filipinas are objectively attractive from an international perspective, I'd love to read your counter arguments. There's a lot more to this than just making blanket statements such as most Filiipinas are not obese like so many Americans.

[Hero]

Just got back from my second trip to the Philippines, and I can tell you there's no correlation between a girl's physical appearance and her bitchiness level. The rudest girl I met over there was just bow-wow butt ugly. Whereas the two most beautiful were also the most affectionate.

I also agree that the knockouts are rare over there. On my first trip I dated 2 knockouts. I guess that must have been beginner's luck, because on my second trip I didn't get to date any stunners. If I had known how hard it was to meet a true Filipina beauty, I would have tried harder to hang on to one of the first two girls I met.

As a group, I don't think Filipinas are great looking. The point is that the great looking ones are accessible to ordinary guys like me.

[davewe]

Just got back from my second trip to the Philippines, and I can tell you there's no correlation between a girl's physical appearance and her bitchiness level. The rudest girl I met over there was just bow-wow butt ugly. Whereas the two most beautiful were also the most affectionate.

I also agree that the knockouts are rare over there. On my first trip I dated 2 knockouts. I guess that must have been beginner's luck, because on my second trip I didn't get to date any stunners. If I had known how hard it was to meet a true Filipina beauty, I would have tried harder to hang on to one of the first two girls I met.

As a group, I don't think Filipinas are great looking. The point is that the great looking ones are accessible to ordinary guys like me.

I agree.

By definition every country/culture/race has a relatively small % of women that are most attractive. Hell, if you went to some mysterious island only populated by supermodels, men would still be debating over and lusting after the top 10%.

The difference is that in the PI an ordinary guy has access to those attractive women as lovers, gfs or wives.

As everyone on HA acknowledges, in Western cultures an ordinary guy (and even a good looking guy) is in deep shit.