Why imbalance in US dating scene despite 50/50 ratio?

[Nate]

All kinds of theory floating around, but most are apparently sitting in the USA, which as as far as women are concerned is a non-reality for the rest of the world.
A few things account for the "shortage". One interesting note, in the early 1960's about 11% of young women were over weight or obese. That number is now near 50% Increasingly in the US, "hot" is defined as a young woman who is simply not huge. The shortage of women with a non hostile attitude, the perpetual "chip" is even more severe than the "shortage" of pretty girls.
I'm not somebody who is bitter about being "left out". When I was stuck in the USA and knew nothing about the world really, I dated mostly quite hot "babes". The problem is of course, that even the prettiest girl starts to look pretty ugly when she has the attitude of a lemon sucking shrew just beneath the surface.
Unlike most girls in the world, US girls tend to like loser bad boy types who will in reality just screw them, further mess them up mentally, and toss them. If you also subtract the large percentage that are obese, the pool is really starting to shrink. Then for the minority of attractive young women 18-25, the group of men that are competing for them might be usually in the 25-50 age group, a much larger pool. The truth is that the men with some power- money or knowledge power, personal power, tend to get to pick their women.
The reality is that problems with and about US women are overworked.
If one is spending too much time with the topic they need to get out more.
If you are living overseas you will likely know that the pathologies of about 4% of the world's women are of little import. Marriage in the US is for most men a bad idea. the deck is stacked against you. Don't do it, you will be sorry...generally it is a REALLY stupid thing to do.
Get a passport. Spend time overseas. Latin America or Asia will do nicely. It will change your point of view. How do you figure out the psycho-babble pathologies of US women? Who cares? As the US female sails into her brave new world, 10,000 years of history is not on her side.
In reality, from a survival point of view, brown girls rule.
That is just the way it is.

Nate

[HardCoreMaddog]

In addition to Fschmidt's answer, there is another, equally important reason:

American women only want and date a very limited percentage of men. The top men. This is somewhere between 10 to 30% of the male population. These men can enjoy rotating harem type relationships where they can string along multiple women at once (who may or may not know about each other).

Just think of the attractive women (as in the non-repulsive ones) entering relationships with one of these top men and then switching one for another. As in, they only date within the top % of men. The men who arent in the top % are left out. The men in the top % are dating more than one woman at the same time.

This leaves a large percentage of men who arent impossibly popular or rich without girlfriends or wives.

Let's see who the men are with the greatest access to women, and maybe you will remember from your youth:
(In no particular order)
1. Tall and good looking (need both)
2. Football player and popular (not good enough to be just a player in some cases)
3. Relatively wealthy, often displayed by driving a newer model flashy car
4. Member of prestigious campus fraternity
5. Any guy, regardless of height, looks, weight, if he has tattoos, dealt drugs, been in a gang, been to prison, etc.

^ Hahah so true about the five list of men that women like in US. Of course American women prefer guys who treat them like trash and guys who are like jocks, rock punk stars, ghetto gangsters than over guys who have class, charismatic and has knowledge of travel.

[MatureDJ]

The net reason is a sum of the individual reasons that others have submitted here.

I'll summarize:

[1] The imbalance of the time of maximum sexual attractiveness (i.e., women 21-30, men 21-55+.)

[2] Hypergamy, and the resultant harems or serial monogamy (or the waiting in line for the serial monogamy) of sexually desirable women for the top rich, beautiful, or bad-boys.

[3] Single Mommy syndrome, in which a woman who would have been knocked up or previously married, are taken out of the desirable population. (This could be considered to be a side-effect of hypergamy.)

[4] Baby Bust demographics (decline in birthrate from 1959 to 1973, although the Baby Echo since 1973 is starting to make up) which put a squeeze on the prime female demographic.

[5] Feminism, which makes women not feel the need to commit to a man to get satisfaction in life, and also makes women much more picky (a man must always be a step up financially and intellectually), and makes them think that they can "have it all" and concentrate on their career during their prime years and have the family afterwards (note that a lot of 35 y.o. women blame men for not wanting to commit to them at that age.) Feminism is also a reason for increased lesbianism and its opposite manifestation, asexuality (think Condolezza Rice) - although I think that the level of the tendency of this behavior in any population has been a constant, because of feminism, it is much more likely that women predisposed to such behavior would no longer just go along with the prevailing social more and get married.

[6] The obesification of advanced society due to hormone-laden meat, processed foods, lack of exercise, etc. This also includes a the effect that the increased desire of men for less attractive men (because of the totality of the situation) lessens the motivation for women to stay in shape. Of course, this means that there are a lot of beefier men as well, but it is not as much of a negative in sexual attractiveness as it is for a woman.

[7] The lack of major life destroying wars, or major mobilization of men for military or economic reasons. If there is one thing that thins out the male demographic better than anything else, it is war (both the mobilization and the attending death.) Human society has evolved to have periodic wars, such that there was always a man deficit around. Although there is the Iraq War mobilization, its relative effect is small. Contrast this with major population thinning wars like the USA Civil War, or WW I & II, or for the native population in the smaller wars, like Korea, Vietnam, Iran-Iraq, Bosnia, Chechnya. In Chechnya now, it is very easy for a man to find a woman because so many men have died.

[8] The rise in the number of women who wish to capitalize financially because of the female deficit. These are women who decide rather than marry when their are young and attractive, that they will become whores and strippers, rather than marry a man of limited means. This could be considered as a form of temporary polygyny.

[polya]

I liked erasmus's reply. To put it in a nutshell, 100 years ago when any girl was happy with the guy down the street, there was someone for everyone. Now when both girls & guys want only the top 20% as partners, there is a shortage & girls simply will not settle (whereas many more guys do). Hence, this is the sexual imbalance in the girl's favour.
Don't forget the sky-rocketing divorce rate, so even when you do find Miss right, things don't always last. After divorce the women gets kids 90% of the time & men have to pay child support leaving them financialy unable to start a new family, even if they met another Miss right. So the only choice for men is to leave the USA and live somewhere where this shit doesn't happen.

[fschmidt]

Reading the above, how do you explain the difference between America and Western Europe? Europe has feminism, hypergamy, family breakdown, etc. The fact that American women are fat and ugly is an effect, not a cause. American Women are fat and ugly because they can get away with it. So how do you explain that European women are still far better than American women? There is only one difference that I can see, and that is that Europe tolerates prostitution. Does anyone dispute that this is the cause of the difference or have another explanation?

[Repatriate]

Reading the above, how do you explain the difference between America and Western Europe? Europe has feminism, hypergamy, family breakdown, etc. The fact that American women are fat and ugly is an effect, not a cause. American Women are fat and ugly because they can get away with it. So how do you explain that European women are still far better than American women? There is only one difference that I can see, and that is that Europe tolerates prostitution. Does anyone dispute that this is the cause of the difference or have another explanation?

I believe it's from different cultural values. I don't want to generalize here but I will, the women from anglo nations (Australia, UK, USA) tend to be overweight, pasty, and with ugly attitudes to match. Australia has one of the highest obesity rates in the world now. I think they actually topped the U.S. as #1 recently. The "hottest" women in those countries are usually the offspring of recent immigrants. Unfortunately, it doesn't take long before their attitudes eventually conform to the anglo way of doing things and then it's all over.

The women in the various European countries have a very different upbringing. They are less prudish (no Anglo-saxon puritan cultural roots) and usually more educated. The "alpha" male attributes are comparatively different than what's desired in the anglo world.

People always group by racial classification..but honestly "whites" in Europe have more in common with the rest of the world than the "whites" in the anglo founded countries. I'd say the US, Australia, and the UK are more of a strange divergence from the norm.

[fschmidt]

I believe it's from different cultural values. I don't want to generalize here but I will, the women from anglo nations (Australia, UK, USA) tend to be overweight, pasty, and with ugly attitudes to match.

Which anglo countries have you visited? The list is USA, Canada, UK, Australia, and New Zealand. I haven't visited many (for lack of interest), so I can't really comment. I was in the UK and I don't remember the women, which means they weren't very attractive. But I also don't remember there being the hostility in women that I find in the USA. Grunt said some positive things about Canada. New Zealand would be a particularly interesting test case since prostitution is accepted there.

I agree that anglo countries are anti-intellectual, which is why they don't interest me. But this still doesn't explain the hostility of American women.

Australia has one of the highest obesity rates in the world now.

What is your source? I found this:

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/hea_o ... th-obesity

Of course the medical morons who measure these things use BMI which is the ratio of weight to height. This makes body builders classify as overweight. The right measure is the ratio of waste size to height, but good luck finding this data.

[WorldTraveler]

In the Western world, It all boils down to supply and demand. Men want women and women don't want men any more. Why is this the case? Western World media has made it fashionable for women not to be married or even dating to be complete. Women now can make the same if not more money than a man. If not, they can get a couple of credit cards and get whatever they WANT. It is acceptable if not even stylish to have kids and not be married. Where I work there were about 6 professional women who had kids out of wedlock, either adopting or just NOT getting married. Many women have even told me they'd like a child but really don't want a steady man. W/ media presenting this as an acceptable alternative, why do they need a man. Most Western women really don’t like sex. Also, if they have a man, they get pressured to stay in shape.
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Now media tells women it is OK to not be thin. Just look at the Dove soap or other ads. This produces fewer desirable females. If I go to a Social with 300 people 50%, I’ll consider fat to obese, the other 45% just aren’t very attractive. Maybe you can find about 15 you’d want to date. So good looking girls have a tremendous attitude problem since all the guys want the same 15 girls or 1%. There are really a lot less good looking girls today than there used to be, do to fat and the idea they feel they don’t have to take care of themselves to get a man…. And they don’t, men are desperate and horny and will go out w/ anything.
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It is not about the money or great looking guys. Yes, if you are great looking and filthy rich, you’ll get more girls than an average or ugly guy. I have several friends that are GQ good looking and wealthy and don’t have girl friends. The reason why is because it is not that important for women in the Western world to have a husband or steady.
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Now, the single independent lifestyle for females is thought of as very good. Just look at the Fidelity Investments commercial with the middle aged women sitting in the airport by herself waiting for the plane to leave for her vacation ALONE. It says you’ve worked hard, you accomplished great things in your career, now you deserve a vacation. So being alone is condoned as what successful women should aspire to. Do you think there would ever be a commercial about a successful guy going on a vacation alone. What they should show is: you’re a successful man, now you are going on your vacation w/ sexy 20 year old nymph. No never in America, being sexual and having a younger girl that is very sexy, that’s horrible and degrading to women. The best we can hope for in the Western World is a commercial of a bunch of guys riding around in convertible together advertising Flomax for incontinence. Oh, the alternate commercial these wild guys are out fishing.
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Media also promotes that having kids is not that important (no kids, no needs for a man). Professional women are having many less than poorer women. Having kids out of wedlock and raising them w/o a father, does not produce strong healthy kids. The poorer dumber people have more kids while the richer smarter people have fewer. It’s de-evolution of the species! So the fact that successful guys can’t get laid is not just an inconvenience, it de-evolution of the species!!!

[Repatriate]

Which anglo countries have you visited? The list is USA, Canada, UK, Australia, and New Zealand. I haven't visited many (for lack of interest), so I can't really comment. I was in the UK and I don't remember the women, which means they weren't very attractive. But I also don't remember there being the hostility in women that I find in the USA. Grunt said some positive things about Canada. New Zealand would be a particularly interesting test case since prostitution is accepted there.

I didn't include Canada on the list because it has shared heritage between the French and English with strong French-Canadian hybrid culture in Quebec. This makes it the most "European" of the anglo nations and doesn't really qualify as completely anglo. That's probably why it's better in some respects. I'd say it's a tug of war there though. The English speaking culture is still the most dominant from what i've seen and the population is still mostly influenced by U.S. culture.

New Zealand is really unique because of its small population size. It may be a beautiful country and all that but a lot of the young people end up in Australia to settle down if that tells you anything.

About Australia's obesity problem:

http://www.smh.com.au/news/health/austr ... 27371.html

[WorldTraveler]

The explanation is that prostitution is illegal and socially unacceptable in the US. Men have a greater desire for variety than women do, and prostitution provides for this imbalance of desire. Without prostitution, men constantly hit on women and things get very messed up.

I agree the lack of Prostitution in the US really makes things worse. Because there is no prostitution in the US, men believe when they want sex they really want a relationship. To get sex in US that's really about the only way: a relationship. So men are constantly chasing women. 95% of the men want the same 5% of the women. In countries where there is prostitution, men don't chase women as much and can do w/o them, because they are not mixed up between needing sex vs. a relationship.

[WorldTraveler]

The most important thing that causes the imbalance between the sexes is Money. When women have money they don't need men. As soon as women in 3rd world countries get money they start being difficult. Just look at Ukraine/Russia. 10 years ago when they were poor, you could have had anyone you wanted. Is it easy now to get a FSU women?

[Winston]

The most important thing that causes the imbalance between the sexes is Money. When women have money they don't need men. As soon as women in 3rd world countries get money they start being difficult. Just look at Ukraine/Russia. 10 years ago when they were poor, you could have had anyone you wanted. Is it easy now to get a FSU women?

W: That's true. Money is a big factor. But then how come those poor crack addict girls in the US aren't that friendly or sweet? I've met some of them and all they do is try to trick you into giving them cash or a free hotel room for them and their crack selling boyfriends, and then they try to jet.

Or they just keep asking you for cash loans without doing anything to please you or giving you what you want.

The nursing student girls in the Philippines tend to very cliquish and ignore everyone outside their circle. Me and our mutual friend, D, noticed this. They are middle class girls of course.

However, I do know two females that own shops on Fields Ave here that are into me. One of them is a very smart and good person. She's only 26, and has been very gracious and generous to me, treating me dinner and driving me home in her car. They aren't poor obviously.

There are always exceptions to every general rule.

[WorldTraveler]

The most important thing that causes the imbalance between the sexes is Money. When women have money they don't need men. As soon as women in 3rd world countries get money they start being difficult. Just look at Ukraine/Russia. 10 years ago when they were poor, you could have had anyone you wanted. Is it easy now to get a FSU women?

W: That's true. Money is a big factor. But then how come those poor crack addict girls in the US aren't that friendly or sweet? I've met some of them and all they do is try to trick you into giving them cash or a free hotel room for them and their crack selling boyfriends, and then they try to jet.

Or they just keep asking you for cash loans without doing anything to please you or giving you what you want.

The nursing student girls in the Philippines tend to very cliquish and ignore everyone outside their circle. Me and our mutual friend, D, noticed this. They are middle class girls of course.

However, I do know two females that own shops on Fields Ave here that are into me. One of them is a very smart and good person. She's only 26, and has been very gracious and generous to me, treating me dinner and driving me home in her car. They aren't poor obviously.

There are always exceptions to every general rule.

I had wealthier girls in the Ukraine befriend me and friends and give us a ride home. But they weren’t eager to be my girl friend or sex.
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Your crack addict is what I am going to describe below about being too poor.
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A girl being too poor is not an asset for a guy looking for a girl. In my travels I have found that girls have to be at certain level to appreciate a wealthier foreign man. I found that poor girls in the Ukraine had no interest in me. The girls that liked me were anglophiles (people w/ an interest in English culture). A poor girl in the Ukraine is just like a poor girl in Harlem, she doesn’t know she has it bad. Example: a lawyer from Manhattan goes to Harlem and wants to date her. She’s not interested because she still wants a drug selling pimp for a boyfriend. Same w/ Ukraine if they are too poor they don’t want you because they cannot relate. Language causes a big problem too.
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Another very important factor is that people from your country have a high status in their country. Ukraine and I’m guessing Russia too, they really do not have that high regard for Americans. I was shocked when one of my female friends told me, where I stood in the pecking order:
1. Rich Ukrainians
2. Poor Ukrainians
3. Rich Americans/foreigners
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I discovered, most girls would prefer a poor Ukrainian to a rich Foreigner.
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Money is important, but there is something more important.
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The country/culture put high value on women being in a committed relationship with men. The US and other Western countries do not now.

[Repatriate]

The girls that liked me were anglophiles (people w/ an interest in English culture). A poor girl in the Ukraine is just like a poor girl in Harlem, she doesn’t know she has it bad. Example: a lawyer from Manhattan goes to Harlem and wants to date her. She’s not interested because she still wants a drug selling pimp for a boyfriend. Same w/ Ukraine if they are too poor they don’t want you because they cannot relate. Language causes a big problem too.

I've always maintained that in order to date and marry the cream of the crop you really need to be immersed in the culture to a decent level. Language is really the start of it and then developing a social network that allows you to meet these girls that would normally never consider a foreigner as a husband. I like these women the best because it takes effort and the ulterior motives or foreigner chasing whore aspect of it isn't there.

Girls that hang around foreigners all day and/or exclusively date guys outside their own culture i'm fairly wary of. These girls certainly know how to play with the egos of western expats and make us believe we are alpha males in their society but really it's all image. Women like this generally have self esteem, family, or economic issues that make them dislike their own people so much. To me, that's just a sign of insecurity and they have serious inherent flaws.

I like women who take pride in who they are because you know if they are loyal to their own and have a sense of accomplishment then they will feel just as committed in a relationship to you. So far in my personal life I have not been wrong with this assumption and it has worked for me.

[jamesbond]

The explanation is that prostitution is illegal and socially unacceptable in the US. Men have a greater desire for variety than women do, and prostitution provides for this imbalance of desire. Without prostitution, men constantly hit on women and things get very messed up.

How true! Legalizing prostitution in the US would ease the sexual frustration of lot's of men in America and might keep women on their toes more. Not as many men would be hitting on women if they could "get some" from a prostitute. Therefore, there would be less competition of men chasing women and the women would not be so picky about who they dated because they wouldn't be pursued by men so much. I want the presidential candidates to discuss legalizing prostitution! (it will never happen).