Why do many of you want to go abroad but never do?

[aozora13]

I can't even begin to explain the kinds of experiences I have been having the last couple of months. I would need to write a book. I may post some pictures when I get the chance. Unfortunately, I am not on my computer. I am in a hotel with a few girls playing Mahjong behind me, preparing for a wedding. (not mine, not yet)

I can say that moving abroad permanently is the only way to go. It doesn't take a lot of money. Someone said something about leaving with only 2000 Euro. I left with less than $2000 USD and that was in 2008. I am still here, still alive and having the time of my life. I thought I was in a fantasy the last few days. One has to see some of the places I have been, real villages high in the mountains among the clouds, to believe that such places exist. Someone talked about spending $600 a month for housing. In many of the places I have been the last few weeks that would get you five star quality hotels. IT would actually be cheaper since that is the day rate and you could probably cut off 20% if you told them you were staying long term.

Why people don't do it? Fear. I have family members who don't have passports and I have been trying to get them just to visit some of these places. If only they could see it! I think Winston and Two Brains both have good points. You can really land in a place that changes your life. You can see things that really get you thinking on a philosophical level. Back in 2008 I may have spent my first few months with more of a mongering attitude, but things have changed so much overtime, with the places I have been, the things I have learned and the people I have met. My life priorities are all upside down. I am am not the same man that stepped out of California.

For those that really want to do it, money is not an issue. I left with very little, at a few different points in my journey, I had nothing, and could have ended up on the street. Still, I always pushed through, found another way and kept going. The reward for these efforts is beyond compare.

I definitely agree that although where I am right now is not paradise, I know that generally life is better for me. I currently can get cheaper healthcare and live cheaply with my small salary for my training program. I think that if you have a drive (goal in life) you can do what you want to do. I am thinking how I can stay in Europe. It is difficult as the visa reasons. I think this is the main reason I had a difficult time moving abroad. I have looked around but usually beyond the government (foreign positions) and multinationals a person really has to research to find work beyond Teaching English.

So a main reason is financial stability. I am not talking about security but at least a job or contract you can do in the country so you can make a living. I wish I can find work but I am not a programmer as I do more support based help and most companies do not want to do sponsorship unless you are in a high programming field. Still, I think to live for a year abroad gives a perspective how you do not need to much to live.

[djfourmoney]

I can't even begin to explain the kinds of experiences I have been having the last couple of months. I would need to write a book. I may post some pictures when I get the chance. Unfortunately, I am not on my computer. I am in a hotel with a few girls playing Mahjong behind me, preparing for a wedding. (not mine, not yet)

I can say that moving abroad permanently is the only way to go. It doesn't take a lot of money. Someone said something about leaving with only 2000 Euro. I left with less than $2000 USD and that was in 2008. I am still here, still alive and having the time of my life. I thought I was in a fantasy the last few days. One has to see some of the places I have been, real villages high in the mountains among the clouds, to believe that such places exist. Someone talked about spending $600 a month for housing. In many of the places I have been the last few weeks that would get you five star quality hotels. IT would actually be cheaper since that is the day rate and you could probably cut off 20% if you told them you were staying long term.

Why people don't do it? Fear. I have family members who don't have passports and I have been trying to get them just to visit some of these places. If only they could see it! I think Winston and Two Brains both have good points. You can really land in a place that changes your life. You can see things that really get you thinking on a philosophical level. Back in 2008 I may have spent my first few months with more of a mongering attitude, but things have changed so much overtime, with the places I have been, the things I have learned and the people I have met. My life priorities are all upside down. I am am not the same man that stepped out of California.

For those that really want to do it, money is not an issue. I left with very little, at a few different points in my journey, I had nothing, and could have ended up on the street. Still, I always pushed through, found another way and kept going. The reward for these efforts is beyond compare.

I definitely agree that although where I am right now is not paradise, I know that generally life is better for me. I currently can get cheaper healthcare and live cheaply with my small salary for my training program. I think that if you have a drive (goal in life) you can do what you want to do. I am thinking how I can stay in Europe. It is difficult as the visa reasons. I think this is the main reason I had a difficult time moving abroad. I have looked around but usually beyond the government (foreign positions) and multinationals a person really has to research to find work beyond Teaching English.

So a main reason is financial stability. I am not talking about security but at least a job or contract you can do in the country so you can make a living. I wish I can find work but I am not a programmer as I do more support based help and most companies do not want to do sponsorship unless you are in a high programming field. Still, I think to live for a year abroad gives a perspective how you do not need to much to live.

Your right about the jobs market in a sense. I have not personally tried it so I don't know but I gleaned information from sources in the know, mainly locals I have known over the years and the Toytown Forum which is very helpful. Programming is the highest demand in IT right now and there are sites where you can learn things like Python or Java on your own for free. Knowing a bit of Linux will get you further than most as well, I have been fooling around with Linux when I get chances.

Now all that said, you can still find support jobs in IT knowing only English. As I said, these companies are looking for native English speakers which you are one Aozora. Plus you have experience in a actual job position which I don't. But I am positive I can find a job as long as my living situation is stable and that's why I feel finding a WOMAN is more important than finding a JOB. Residence status will make getting jobs easier. Of course nobody wants to sponsor you to relocate, it cost them money, they'll keep looking locally until they are desperate enough to hire you.

There are 38,000 open IT positions in Germany. I would thank Vienna for the chance to learn on the job and getting my feet wet but you need resident status and you want a woman, those things go together like Oreo cookies and Milk. One hand washes the other and all that jazz. To me you can kill two birds with one stone if you heed me. I said I want to get married and have kids, make no bones about it and the response as been positive. One thing a woman want is a man that knows what he wants.

My profile is extremely short, I say nothing about looks other than no BBW's.

[Hero]

I'm going back to Cebu on March 1, after a 6-year absence. Better late than never.

[Winston]

I think these surface reasons are mostly excuses. The real reasons are deeper. Often, our own minds are against us and trying to sabotage us. It's like part of us feeds on failure and misery. Any of you ever realize that? What this means is that deep down, we are all our own worst enemy.

Here is my rant on that in another thread:

viewtopic.php?p=89818#89818

I also wanted to find an excuse to bump this thread up, since dealing with these "mental obstacles" that we don't even realize, is an important issue to talk about.

[Winston]

Sorry Green, I was mainly talking about America. That said, you can donate Plasma in Germany and they will pay you for it.

Is France really that bad? Especially with all the Russians in Paris? You might try America, seems American girls like French guys. Kristy Brinkley's first love was some French guy... I've seen a few American Women on International House Hunters with French men looking for a place to live.

In France,Paris and the others big cities are the worst places to meet ladies in random places.
The vibes in Paris are quit bad.

I know that a lot of men have been fed with the romantic Paris surrounded by lovely available French chicks,but that just BS.

I can tell you,and i'm not the only one,that Paris is the worst place in France to meet woman..they are i would say the little sisters of NYC woman and are taking the same road to be like them.
Somebody who will come here as a tourist would have difficulty to see this,especially if he has money and hang with the American community.

The fact that women here are enormously overrated abroad.

They are men who have went abroad to Germany or even Uk,and said that it was easier to get chicks.

Surely the French guy aura has to do with it,but at the end,having traveled around Europe,French women,more in Paris are generally selfish,not funny,cold,paranoid,not accessible,overrated..so they have a lot of defects and few qualities.

The physical advantage you get compared to the US is their not fatty obese body in general as is in America, but that doesn't sound a good thing if communicating with them is so difficult and uneasy.

Really,i would not recommend to any man who want to look for more accessible women abroad to come to France and Paris.

Do you know as an example,that prostitution in France is one of the worst in Europe,overpriced,having ugly provider,not so in your face like Germany,Belgium or Spain.
FYI they are large numbers of young men who goes to the border side f**k clubs in Spain because they are sexually frustrated.

Ok so what if Repatriate constantly hammered you and said that the problem isn't French women, the problem is YOU and your shitty looks? How would that make you feel? How would you like that?

Also, what if I acted like you and told you that it was all your looks too? Then I'd give you a taste of your own medicine. How would you like that?

What if you KNEW for a fact that Paris women were not approachable, but assholes like Repatriate told you it was because of your looks that they were not approachable? How would you like that?

Think about it.

Hi Winston, this is sort of related to what I said about revamping the site. I just came across this site less than a week ago, and I'm still learning about what your message or "call to action" is. If the site was easier to navigate, then it could point me to the options.

Here is what I have learned so far:

1) I found your site through a search about why my dating life sucks. There were lots of messages from Pick Up Artists, Feminists, and dating blogs and so on, but none of them really talked about my issues. When I saw your post about being an Asian guy in the US, and the problems you had, that was one thing that stood out for me.

2) Then I found your message: Go Abroad. So that's excellent. It gives me an approach that is different to everything I have done before.

3) So now that I have the message, it wasn't clear to me what this means. Is it just to travel to get your self esteem back? Is it to travel to just see what's out there? Is it to take advantage of job opportunities to put you in a guy-friendly country?

4) So what would be helpful is a website that tells us step-by-step ways as to how to do each of the above. Example: what should be our objectives in each of the options? Is it the right thing for us? What to expect when we get there. What results to expect. What are the disappointments. How much will it cost.

Those are the kinds of questions I have.

I'm sorry I haven't written an extensive how to guide yet. I know one guy who is very qualified to do it though - Walt Goodridge. He is very good at teaching others how to live a minimalist lifestyle, and his books are excellent. I have copies of them. See my review of them in the other thread about him. I've already asked him about it and he is considering it.

Ladislav would also be qualified to write such a book. But I don't have the time or energy or will to do such a thing.

There are many expat books on Amazon.com, but they don't cover dating for some reason.

[woodwater]

Damn true! There's a Buddhist saying: "Wherever you go, there you are."

I've travelled a hell of a lot, and still plan to, but long term it can get boring without a social circle. That's the first thing I'll address when I settle abroad.

Damn FALSE. See my reasons above.

How can it get boring without a social circle? The beauty of traveling is that you meet new people everyday. That's VERY stimulating. I have no idea what you're talking about. You sound like you've never traveled. I've never heard any traveler say that it gets boring without a social circle or clique. Don't you remember, people abroad are more INCLUSIVE too. That's why we go abroad. Duh. Have you guys lost your marbles?

You can always make new friends and socialize in hostels, with Couchsurfing.com and HospitalityClub.org hosts, etc. Some people meet their boyfriend/girlfriend off those sites too. I even dated a girl in Seattle from one of those sites.

I also meet people from my mailing list and this forum when I travel, who happen to be in the area. In California and Arizona, a lot of my Happier Abroad fans met me and treated me to dinner too.

Im not from an english speaking country but am doing a TEFL, and like Ladslav maybe ill teach online too,or translate. And dont see any other way. For the time being i would like to live in Cologne, best girls in europe in my opinion- tall,athletic, but dont go to nearby Dortmund cause 50% are fat

[pete98146]

I guess I should make it clear that I'm not just talking about moving abroad permanently. I'm also talking about traveling abroad for a few weeks, which takes only a few thousand dollars. But a lot of guys here don't even do that for some reason, even though they want to and praise the concept of doing so. Why?

Winston, I guess the same question could be asked about you. You have been shacked up at your parents Taiwan pad for months now but you haven't taken any side trips. You are a short to medium length plane ride away from some FABULOUS locations yet they remain unexplored by you. Right off the top of my head these places would include:

1. Beijing
2. Shanghai
3. Bangkok
4. Chiang Mai
5. Koh Samui
6. Phuket
7. Hua Hin
8. Saigon
7. Hanoi
8. Nha Trang
9. Hong Kong
10. Singapore

Girls or no girls....travel partners or solo doesn't matter either. Dang bro if I were in your shoes, I'd be CHOMPING at the bit to see some of these places. I don't even live in Asia and I've been to half of these locations. They are awesome and for you especially rather cheap if you stay in budget hotels. How do we get you off YOUR duff Winston?

[xiongmao]

Not to mention Fujian Province just across the water. One of my Chinese lady friends is from there and she's a 10. I missed out on her, but there are plenty more girls to meet out there.

[Renata]

When I moved to the UK in 2004 it was the first time I was going to live outside my country. I went on a 2 year Work Holiday Visa. It took me 2 months to get a job. My first job was in a book warehouse packing books in boxes, I swear I wanted to run back home, thinking this was what I left my tropical island to do?? But after 1 month of that I landed a good IT helpdesk/deskside job & I was ok. I had a blast & got to meet people from all over because London is really cosmopolitan. And even today I still have a soft spot for british guys lol

Sometimes you have to take that 'Risk' for doors to open...
Check the 'Countries and territories offering working holiday visas' section of the following link. Choose a country you may like to go to & check if you are eligible to enter & work.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_holiday_visa
Americans are eligible to work & live for 1 year in New Zealand.

As Winston mentioned teaching English is great too as a start ... really when u live & work outside your own country you get treated way better than what you're accustomed to at home. There are more benefits, perks & the salaries are better too. I seem to be worth more outside my country than inside. The same goes for lots of other expats I've met along the way.

[Jester]

[magnum]

The same reason I didn't make any real effort.... Money.


I'm about to leave on a journey to a country that I have no skills to offer but english, blowing my lifes savings on a risk and a last ditch effort at sanity, I don't even have college behind my belt, and japan isn't too keen on people like me teaching.

If I fail, I'm back with even less options than I had before, with everyone waiting and watching and probably hoping I'll fail so that in there minds, it will reinforce the perversion of the USA and everything it stands for.

I'm giving up a 15 year dream to take a big risk with a low probability of success, not many people have the mentality to handle that kind of risk.

Facing your fears is a rare quality that requires integrity, something most people lack, integrity to ones self isn't the same as being prideful or selfish, but being mindful of what you want, and beating down the fear that prevents you from having it with a nail laced baseball bat SLAMMING fear in the face with all your might letting it know that even if you fail, it wont be around to see it.


I know overly dramatic, but from the heart.

[Jester]

Facing your fears is a rare quality that requires integrity, something most people lack, integrity to ones self isn't the same as being prideful or selfish, but being mindful of what you want, and beating down the fear that prevents you from having it with a nail laced baseball bat SLAMMING fear in the face with all your might letting it know that even if you fail, it wont be around to see it.


I know overly dramatic, but from the heart.

"...overly dramatic, but from the heart."
That's the kind of posts I learn from.

[skeptic]

I love traveling - domestically and internationally -and I do. That is, as much as my budget allows me to (wish I could afford it more often). However, a short stay in a foreign country is not sufficient to develop a love life there. Let's face it: a limited -time. vacation is not the same as living there stably. Unless you're up to moving to a certain country, you can't have a true "love life" there.

[publicduende]

Damn true! There's a Buddhist saying: "Wherever you go, there you are."

I've travelled a hell of a lot, and still plan to, but long term it can get boring without a social circle. That's the first thing I'll address when I settle abroad.

Damn FALSE. See my reasons above.

How can it get boring without a social circle? The beauty of traveling is that you meet new people everyday. That's VERY stimulating. I have no idea what you're talking about. You sound like you've never traveled. I've never heard any traveler say that it gets boring without a social circle or clique. Don't you remember, people abroad are more INCLUSIVE too. That's why we go abroad. Duh. Have you guys lost your marbles?

You can always make new friends and socialize in hostels, with Couchsurfing.com and HospitalityClub.org hosts, etc. Some people meet their boyfriend/girlfriend off those sites too. I even dated a girl in Seattle from one of those sites.

I also meet people from my mailing list and this forum when I travel, who happen to be in the area. In California and Arizona, a lot of my Happier Abroad fans met me and treated me to dinner too.

You may be right up to a certain age. An adult, a man in his forties would be totally out of context in a hostel full of teens. Unless he's the George Clooney photoblogger type with a bohemienne attitude, he would probably be snubbed and will end up roaming parks and museums alone. Then he would soon get bored and run out of money.

It's not that happy fantasy world out there, Winston.

[Jackal]

The same reason I didn't make any real effort.... Money.

I'm about to leave on a journey to a country that I have no skills to offer but english, blowing my lifes savings on a risk and a last ditch effort at sanity, I don't even have college behind my belt, and japan isn't too keen on people like me teaching.

If I fail, I'm back with even less options than I had before, with everyone waiting and watching and probably hoping I'll fail so that in there minds, it will reinforce the perversion of the USA and everything it stands for.

I'm giving up a 15 year dream to take a big risk with a low probability of success, not many people have the mentality to handle that kind of risk.

Facing your fears is a rare quality that requires integrity, something most people lack, integrity to ones self isn't the same as being prideful or selfish, but being mindful of what you want, and beating down the fear that prevents you from having it with a nail laced baseball bat SLAMMING fear in the face with all your might letting it know that even if you fail, it wont be around to see it.

I know overly dramatic, but from the heart.

Yeah, it would be tough to move abroad without a degree, I think. There have been threads about ideas how guys without degrees can go abroad, but I don't know if any good ones were listed.

I hate to say it, but perhaps for some people, a fake BA degree and real TEFL/CELTA certificate might be a good combo.
If you're intelligent, there will be little difference between you and someone with a college degree in an area of study they no longer use when teaching English. Just study up on English grammar.