REVELATION!!! The "Why" behind most modern relatio

[KristineTheStrawberryGirl]

Greetin's. K.K. here, from RockHerWorld.Net...

I see a lot of pain, anger & frustration on this site--of course, there are success stories as well--and I might not have the cure, but I think I've discovered the symptoms.

HAPPIER ABROAD (overall) endorses relationships with foreign women, and perhaps moving overseas...all well and good, for those with the resources to do so. The overriding consensus is also to find women who are Asian or Latin...at least not "Western" (Anglo/American). "Western" or "Westernized" women are not as accessible, romantic or caring as their foreign counterparts.

(Winston, feel free to jump in & call bullsh*t on me at any time...)

My own experience leads me to believe that not all Western women are like that...but a large amount ARE, and they are becoming the majority.
At least the majority of available women that men are normally attracted to (age range 18-36 or thereabouts). The question is, WHY?

And it actually doesn't have that much to do with Feminism.

It has EVERYTHING to do with this being "GENERATION ME".

We're at a point in history where we've conquered pretty much everything except time and death. So we're the generation with the luxury of introspection. We don't have to hunt our food, chop firewood and die of smallpox anyway at age 39.

The educational system has replaced the goal of knowledge with the goal of self-esteem. Elementary school teachers believe their most important job is making kids feel good about themselves. Ask a younger person what they want to do with their lives, and the majority will say "whatever will make me happy." (with variations of different wording). There are those who still want to help their fellows, but many would do it ultimately feel good about themselves. Both women and men today think they deserve the best of everything.

This is not to say the current generation is selfish; youth volunteering has risen in the last decade. Generation Me is not self-absorbed, but self-important...it's not surprising we have I-phones, I-pods and I-Macs.
We have unprecedented freedom to pursue our own happiness.
(And this is not just the upcoming generation; this is now.)
We're pumped full of optimism up until graduation from high school or college, and believe our being special will make us famous, or at least lots of money.

Then reality comes crashing down: the gap between what we HAVE and what we WANT has never been greater. Jobs are scarce, competition is fierce, mortgages and healthcare have astronomical costs. Where once a high-school-educated single person could support a household on one paycheck, now it requires a college-educated couple to afford a small house. So Generation Me is confident, assertive, entitled, and more miserable than ever. High expectations--that can't seem to be fulfilled--lead to anxiety, depression and blaming others for our problems.

We can see younger people today as products of their culture, a culture that teaches them the primacy of the individual every step of the way.
(Women aren't the only ones with me-first attitudes; look around and try to point out a positive male role model who looks beyond himself and gives something back.)

The women of other countries may not have the Generation Me entitlement mentality...yet. But like Coca-Cola, what's made in America ends up everywhere, eventually...

(And no, we're not DOOMED because of this. Once you get called on an entitlement mentality, it normally plants a seed of change within you.)

Best, K.K.

Great observations. Isn't ironic that in a time where people would rather be alone, our economics require more than one income towards the household. That's a great tension in our culture.

[KristineTheStrawberryGirl]

Interesting point.

I like the analysis.

What I see in the west is a problem with males themselves convincing themselves and others that nobody should date outside of a 10 year age range.

This is mentally sick and counterproductive to the male genetic code.

North American and Western European and Japanese 18-25 year old women are often happy to date 40-55 year old males because it fits their genetic makeup as well....but we face jealousy and anger from both older females AND older male peers.

And our worst enemies are fellow males.

There is an anglo-saxon tradition for conservative married males to want other men to be miserable like they are. That is why we got laws like IMBRA and VAWA and why NOBODY is challenging those laws.

I agree about men feeling guilty or getting snide remarks from other men if they date women quite a bit younger than themselves. It is normal for men to be attracted to and date younger women (like women in their 20's). There is one dating expert out there who advocates dating younger women. His name is Don Steele and he wrote the book "How to date young women for men over 35" He is currently married to a women 34 years younger than him (he is 68, she is 34). They met when he was 53 and she was 19 at a restaurant.

He said he has gotten grief from both male and female friends about the age difference but doesn't let it bother him. Here are his websites; http://steelballs.com/
http://www.steelballs.com/index_5.html

I just want to add a little comment from a woman's perspective about older men dating younger women. I think that people immediately see why an older man would like a younger woman, but they don't understand what a younger woman may prefer about an older man. They assume that she would rather be with a younger man with all things being equal (assets etc), and it's not true.

I think men in their 50s are just perfect. I didn't marry one that old, but I certainly understand why a man that age is appealing, and yes I have found men that age to be appealing. It is cool to be close to the same age in a relationship, and feel like you are building a household together. However, an established man in his 50s certainly has allot to offer to women in their 20s and 30s. Usually at this age a man isn't so attached to mom, he has a steady job, doesn't need too much overkill attention, he still has a good sex drive, but actually knows how to please a woman. Hence, not only is it nice for the man, the woman benefits too!

The only thing that I would emphasize is that I think older men do better with a woman who doesn't need loads of attention. I have noticed many relationships where the man is is his 50s or 60s and the woman is in her 30s tends that work out really well when the woman is not so "needy" or clingy. That might be the rub though ... most women look better in their 20s, and at that age, usually they want and expect lots of attention, especially if they are hot. At 30+ women usually have the life experience to understand that all that attention isn't necessary. You do see women in their 30s who still look as good as the ones in their 20s ... but it's kind of rare.

[momopi]

Momopi, you said you get more dates in Taiwan than in the US. But Taiwanese girls are not poor anymore and not that interested in coming to the US nowadays. So how can you attribute it to money or a green card? Obviously, it must be due to other factors.

* Socio-economic status includes both social and economic factors.

* Richer country = higher status, poorer country = lower status.

* Just because the girl is willing to chase up in her home country, doesn't mean that she's willing to ditch her family and friends to relocate.

Been there, done that... those who want to move will find a way, or has already done so.

For immigrants and students that are already here (in the US), there's an additional factor where citizenship or green card > student VISA.

Last year, one of the local Malay Chinese girls I know ditched her BF of 3 years and married someone else. The reason she gave is that both her and her ex-BF were here on student VISA, she didn't feel secure about her future with the ex-BF. So she ditched her and married a Taiwanese-American who had US citizenship and established career. Of course, the reason she gave could have been a "mercy kill".

One of my female cousins was dating a Taiwanese guy for 4+ years, he was here on student VISA. Despite the fact that my cousin is ABC and can barely speak Chinese, the (now ex) BF's parents encouraged him to marry her ASAP so he could get US citizenship. After being pressured to marry, they broke up. Duh. If he had just waited another year, my aunt would've given consent plus $$$ dowry for down-payment on a house, double duh.