Comments about Filipino Hospitality

[ladislav]

From Answers, Yahoo.com

""filipino hospitality has always been selective... often among filipino plane stewards and stewardesses with the change in their facial expressions as they respond to requests: the ever smiling ever gracious asian responding to a caucasian’s request, changing dramatically to a scowl as the next passenger, a filipino, makes a similar request.

there was always a racist element to this selective hospitality. even among "foreigners", that hospitality has been selective: the best treatment going to caucasians (or people perceived to be caucasian), with less hospitality exhibited as the skin color darkens. (an exception has been the arabs, who despite their fair skin still gets discriminated against mainly because they are muslim.)

this selective hospitality has been based on an opportunism, a perception of potential benefits from our "hospitality" – a larger tip, a useful connection for the future. if in fact a friendship develops, expectations may grow about the foreigner helping out and if the expectations are not met, the relationship sours.

there has been a growing cynicism toward foreigners in general, that they are all "mayaman" (rich) and are there to be used. It’s a perverse sense of entitlement, sometimes fueled by distorted nationalism: these foreigners exploit us therefore we should use them as well"".

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... Kil7sZUSaa

[wraith]

i wonder if filipino hospitality extends to arab/syriac christians (catholic or orthodox)? Cause I heard you mention that arabs are treated worse than other races, just because they are moslem.

I certainly know that a Filipino-American friend of mine invited me over, and his family ordered Chinese food for the family, me, and my Coptic Orthodox Egyptian-American mutual friend of ours. (Egyptians arent arab, even though most of them are moslem, with 10% Coptic Orthodox minority)

[ladislav]

i wonder if filipino hospitality extends to arab/syriac christians (catholic or orthodox)? Cause I heard you mention that arabs are treated worse than other races, just because they are moslem.

I certainly know that a Filipino-American friend of mine invited me over, and his family ordered Chinese food for the family, me, and my Coptic Orthodox Egyptian-American mutual friend of ours. (Egyptians arent arab, even though most of them are moslem, with 10% Coptic Orthodox minority)

The comments above are not mine- they are quotes and the source is listed in the same post. I do not know first hand about the actual treatment of Arabs since I am not an Arab myself. One would need to interview them and do a poll, the get results. This is how the thing is measured. What I can say though is that compared to some Germanic countries, racial discrimination in the Philippines is like 0.0000000001% of it in intensity. Arabs will not be excluded socially no, no, no! ALL with no exception ( except those who themselves do not want it) will be able to find gf's/wives and will be treated normally by the majority of the population be allowed to integrated and live normal lives. There will be occasional wackos but these will be an exception to the rule. There will be no ostracism where most people reject you and do not talk to you.

However, the comments were about 'hospitality' how you are treated on the airplane, in hotels, etc- which is a bit different from the actual living and mingling in society as its member. But again, that was just one comment, I do not know how true it is. The person is not an Arab, so how would he really know?.

[Grunt]

How a people or culture treat the least of its citizens (or tourists) is the true measure of that nation.

If Phillipinos treat their own in such a manner, its only a matter of time before they treat Americans or whites that way.

Just wait for the right set of circumstances.

[Winston]

Those are interesting points Ladislav. I don't know if they treat whites better than others, but I do agree that a lot of Filipinos seem to think that foreigners OWE them something, or at least act like it.

It is kind of annoying and insulting to me, because it makes me feel like I'm OBLIGATED to be generous to everyone, like I don't have a choice.

I have no problem being generous though, to my good friends, people that have helped me, or good people that I admire. But I do not take kindly when someone thinks that I am OBLIGATED to be generous to them by default for the sole reason that I'm a foreigner and they are a Filipino. That is lame, low and rude.

When some Filipinos ask you for something, they also act like there is no "no" answer and that only a yes answer is acceptable, and they act as if saying no to something they want will be offensive and rude and make you look like a bad person.

Oddly, in their culture, confrontation and making a scene is ruder than trying to rip someone off or cheat them or pressuring someone for free gifts and cash.

Anyone knows that the free things you get in this world, are small things, not big things. But a lot of these people want BIG things from foreigners, for free too, which defy this universal principle that you don't get something for nothing, and if you do, it's usually something small, not big.

Filipinos know that nothing is free in their society and that almost everyone is frugal and stingy, ok well maybe not to their family, but businesses are to the public.

But I now tell people who ask me for free cash or gifts: "I'm sorry but I don't give out free money or gifts. If you want 3000 pesos, you'll have to exchange something for it that is worth 3000p, that I want. This is the real world you know."

Everyone knows you don't get something for nothing, but for some reasons Filipinos think that with a foreigner, everything is free. They've assigned a Santa Claus role to them, against their will.

I have no problem being generous to my friends or to good people. But I do have a problem with people trying to obligate me to be generous to them.

I had one girl who, on the first date, suddenly told me that her uncle texted her and asked me to buy them pizza so she could bring it to them later. I'm all thinking "What the f@#$? What do you think I am, a free pizza delivery man?"

Sheesh, why doesn't she buy it for her uncle? Why me? I don't even know this uncle nor have I ever met him. When I told her that this guy wasn't even my friend, she said, "But he will be your friend in the future!" That was so low and pathetic.

My shock was beyond words.

But contrary to your link, I have not much experienced being treated with great hospitality in anticipation of a big tip, except at fancy restaurants. Most of the time, they do hardly anything at all, except the bare minimum. Waitresses ignore you after bringing your meal. They don't refill your water unless you yell out to them, they never stop by and ask if everything is ok, etc. They just don't care. And when I don't tip them, they don't care either.

Except in the go go bar of course. There the waitresses act as though you are obligated to tip them, even though Filipino custom does not require that one be tipped. But if you don't they try to shame you with a nasty look. In response, I tell them that bringing me drinks is not worth a tip, cause you can even train a dog to do that. Plus it isn't a national custom here. It's merely a custom that the bars artificially created.