Just some observations

[romparoo]

Hi folks,

I have been a silent observer for quite a while, slightly more than 2 yrs I think. What prompts me to finally post ... I think you will get it once you have read my entire post. First of all, a bit of my background. I am originally Malaysian Chinese, and has been in Australia for about 7-8 years. Being ethnically Asian, culturally semi-western and eastern, my background and circumstances always put me in the forgotten corner of society. In simple terms, I am always the 'weird' one out; I am not fully asian, but I am not fully western either; I am neither here nor there. I don't belong anywhere.

Anyway, I just want to share some input.

One needs to admit the reality before one can solve the problem. First, the bitter pill called reality:

1) Whining and arguing about feminism and women doesn't help and only waste time.

2) Going abroad sounds good, but does not make financial sense for most people. You will need to make a difficult decision:
2.1) Stay where you are and make some decent money, but might have to endure long period of loneliness, or you can set your standard real low and get a partner whom you may not really love;
2.2) Or go abroad and find your dream partner, but you will spend a lot of money, after which you may end up quite broke and so you turn out to be not 'quite a catch' after all to your beautiful foreign wife. Or you can wait till you got richer before starting your 'adventure'. But you will be at least 35, quite old, very lonely and physically isolated for a long time, and quite bitter. By then, your beautiful foreign wife will just looks like a glorified gold digger regardless of whether she is actually one. The catch: your perception changes once you endure long period of loneliness and bitterness.

Note: There is no correct choice. Whichever your choice is, you earn something, but you also lose something. Unless you are that dude who just won the mega million lotto

3) Women are the same anywhere. Period. No debate needed. In one way it's like capitalism, in the sense of supply and demand. Many local men will never find their dream partners because their income is no longer attractive due to women's participation in the workforce. So now women demand extra, which naturally, is physical attraction, or you just need to earn significantly much more than her. Similar to globalisation, there is no way to change or stop that, not any philosophy, not any men's movement, and certainly not posting fervently online.

4) Race matters. Ah, Americans' favorite topic Admit that there is white privilege (the irony is they also spread feminism like wild fire and so dig their own romance graves, erm no...actually they are every men's graves. Caucasians do get it easier in Asia due to aforementioned, but (3) still applies. Similarly, but vice versa, Asian men get it more difficult in Europe and Russia/CIS countries. Don't waste time debating, just try your best.

5) There is no best place for (fill in the blank ethnicity) men. Due to globalisation, we have a global beauty standard, which at the current state, is a eurocentric one. So caucasian features are much celebrated. The more caucasian you look, facially and physically, the better off you are in romance encounters. This does not mean it is ethically right, but it is just the way it is, at least for now. So if you look more caucasian, you'll get it easier anyway, anytime. Not fair I know, but you will be unfair to yourself if you waste time debating this rather than trying your best.

6) Many 'seasoned' going abroad folks still spend too much time debating online, or hopping from one foreign place to another looking for girls. This is NOT a sign of success, neither it is a sign of happiness and contentment.

Caveat emptor for anyone's taking the road less taken.

For me, I will take my chance.

[xiongmao]

Hi romparoo,

Good first post!

Yeah, it's expensive to find a wife from another country and many men are broke. Heck, most of my dating site's male members can't afford $29.99 to join Blossoms, let alone the funds to go live in Thailand for a year or more.

It's funny but one of my Chinese women I met told me people are the same all over the world. There are some nice women around though, and only one of my Chinese gf's has had the money spending gene - the rest were pretty frugal with my money.

Yeah, I've found out race matters. Although sometimes it's just more a case of women liking men who are different to them. Chinese girls are crazy about white skin though.

I think I need to go to Malaysia - my brother just went there and now I'm seeing dozens of very pretty Malaysian Chinese girls on my Facebook!

As to my own mission to find an Asian wife, well I tried the "mail order bride" route (by this I mean finding a girl on a dating site, going to visit her, marrying her if she was good enough). Well that didn't work for me, I'm too picky and marriage is too big a decision to rush.

So now it's the living in Asia option. I've worked my ass off for 5 years and have enough cash to live on for years. Not many guys will be able to do this but my huge advantage (apart from my work ethic and refusal to buy consumer iCrap) is that I've not been married before so I don't have an existing AW or kids to drain my wallet. But if you can scrape together the cash then I highly recommend this option for finding a wife.

[NorthAmericanguy]

Good first post!

Just to add my 2 cents, along with what you said, that's why I believe the ideal setup is to make money in a Western country, and spend 1-3 months living abroad each year. Then when you're in your 50's, you can move abroad for good which is right around when you're able to get a retirement visa and you should have enough money saved up by then.

I agree that in any other way you're giving up something, which for most is earning potential unless you can find a really good job overseas or you have some kind of internet business that is profitable.

Anyhow, it is possible to travel abroad for 1-3 months each year all while saving for your future so as long as you don't get married in the West or have any kids.

[bennandsarah]

Interesting. But I passionately disagree on one point only -- women are NOT exactly the same everywhere. When I'm in NYC doing what I love (theatre) -- I meet more women than I can handle -- good looking young actress /model/dancer chicks too. When I'm in PODUNK KY -- i get nothing. and by the way -- the women here are more cliquey than NYC. and also NYC has a million more single ladies than men. If you are involved with something that helps you meet people -- succeed at it -- you will find a good woman. You're more likely to find a geeky intelligent yet attractive women in NY than in the sticks. Just my opinion. and you do have to avoid the sexx and the city types -- but with practice you can. - In podunk where I am 75% of the year -- they want a guy that works at jiffy lube - big muscles - drinks beer - attends nascar and watches sports 24/7 and has $$$$$$$$.

[polya]

Hi folks,

I have been a silent observer for quite a while, slightly more than 2 yrs I think. What prompts me to finally post ... I think you will get it once you have read my entire post. First of all, a bit of my background. I am originally Malaysian Chinese, and has been in Australia for about 7-8 years. Being ethnically Asian, culturally semi-western and eastern, my background and circumstances always put me in the forgotten corner of society. In simple terms, I am always the 'weird' one out; I am not fully asian, but I am not fully western either; I am neither here nor there. I don't belong anywhere.

Anyway, I just want to share some input.

One needs to admit the reality before one can solve the problem. First, the bitter pill called reality:

1) Whining and arguing about feminism and women doesn't help and only waste time.

2) Going abroad sounds good, but does not make financial sense for most people. You will need to make a difficult decision:
2.1) Stay where you are and make some decent money, but might have to endure long period of loneliness, or you can set your standard real low and get a partner whom you may not really love;
2.2) Or go abroad and find your dream partner, but you will spend a lot of money, after which you may end up quite broke and so you turn out to be not 'quite a catch' after all to your beautiful foreign wife. Or you can wait till you got richer before starting your 'adventure'. But you will be at least 35, quite old, very lonely and physically isolated for a long time, and quite bitter. By then, your beautiful foreign wife will just looks like a glorified gold digger regardless of whether she is actually one. The catch: your perception changes once you endure long period of loneliness and bitterness.

Note: There is no correct choice. Whichever your choice is, you earn something, but you also lose something. Unless you are that dude who just won the mega million lotto

3) Women are the same anywhere. Period. No debate needed. In one way it's like capitalism, in the sense of supply and demand. Many local men will never find their dream partners because their income is no longer attractive due to women's participation in the workforce. So now women demand extra, which naturally, is physical attraction, or you just need to earn significantly much more than her. Similar to globalisation, there is no way to change or stop that, not any philosophy, not any men's movement, and certainly not posting fervently online.

4) Race matters. Ah, Americans' favorite topic Admit that there is white privilege (the irony is they also spread feminism like wild fire and so dig their own romance graves, erm no...actually they are every men's graves. Caucasians do get it easier in Asia due to aforementioned, but (3) still applies. Similarly, but vice versa, Asian men get it more difficult in Europe and Russia/CIS countries. Don't waste time debating, just try your best.

5) There is no best place for (fill in the blank ethnicity) men. Due to globalisation, we have a global beauty standard, which at the current state, is a eurocentric one. So caucasian features are much celebrated. The more caucasian you look, facially and physically, the better off you are in romance encounters. This does not mean it is ethically right, but it is just the way it is, at least for now. So if you look more caucasian, you'll get it easier anyway, anytime. Not fair I know, but you will be unfair to yourself if you waste time debating this rather than trying your best.

6) Many 'seasoned' going abroad folks still spend too much time debating online, or hopping from one foreign place to another looking for girls. This is NOT a sign of success, neither it is a sign of happiness and contentment.

Caveat emptor for anyone's taking the road less taken.

For me, I will take my chance.

I basically disagree with everything:
1. Men have to name and understand their enemy which is feminism.
2. You say going abroad makes no financial sense for most guys, so you say they must stay home and work and become bitter or drop their standards to some repulsive granny - these aren't options for a sane life!
4. Women are the same as ameri-bitches only in other countries where the Police say "how high" when she says "jump." Go to Russia where Police will hang up on her and see if Russian women respect men (although, divorce is even higher there).
5. There is a best place for men - out of feminist countries.
6. It's better than living like a whipped dog with some AW.

[djfourmoney]

Hi folks,

I have been a silent observer for quite a while, slightly more than 2 yrs I think. What prompts me to finally post ... I think you will get it once you have read my entire post. First of all, a bit of my background. I am originally Malaysian Chinese, and has been in Australia for about 7-8 years. Being ethnically Asian, culturally semi-western and eastern, my background and circumstances always put me in the forgotten corner of society. In simple terms, I am always the 'weird' one out; I am not fully asian, but I am not fully western either; I am neither here nor there. I don't belong anywhere.

Anyway, I just want to share some input.

One needs to admit the reality before one can solve the problem. First, the bitter pill called reality:

1) Whining and arguing about feminism and women doesn't help and only waste time.

2) Going abroad sounds good, but does not make financial sense for most people. You will need to make a difficult decision:
2.1) Stay where you are and make some decent money, but might have to endure long period of loneliness, or you can set your standard real low and get a partner whom you may not really love;
2.2) Or go abroad and find your dream partner, but you will spend a lot of money, after which you may end up quite broke and so you turn out to be not 'quite a catch' after all to your beautiful foreign wife. Or you can wait till you got richer before starting your 'adventure'. But you will be at least 35, quite old, very lonely and physically isolated for a long time, and quite bitter. By then, your beautiful foreign wife will just looks like a glorified gold digger regardless of whether she is actually one. The catch: your perception changes once you endure long period of loneliness and bitterness.

Note: There is no correct choice. Whichever your choice is, you earn something, but you also lose something. Unless you are that dude who just won the mega million lotto

3) Women are the same anywhere. Period. No debate needed. In one way it's like capitalism, in the sense of supply and demand. Many local men will never find their dream partners because their income is no longer attractive due to women's participation in the workforce. So now women demand extra, which naturally, is physical attraction, or you just need to earn significantly much more than her. Similar to globalisation, there is no way to change or stop that, not any philosophy, not any men's movement, and certainly not posting fervently online.

4) Race matters. Ah, Americans' favorite topic Admit that there is white privilege (the irony is they also spread feminism like wild fire and so dig their own romance graves, erm no...actually they are every men's graves. Caucasians do get it easier in Asia due to aforementioned, but (3) still applies. Similarly, but vice versa, Asian men get it more difficult in Europe and Russia/CIS countries. Don't waste time debating, just try your best.

5) There is no best place for (fill in the blank ethnicity) men. Due to globalisation, we have a global beauty standard, which at the current state, is a eurocentric one. So caucasian features are much celebrated. The more caucasian you look, facially and physically, the better off you are in romance encounters. This does not mean it is ethically right, but it is just the way it is, at least for now. So if you look more caucasian, you'll get it easier anyway, anytime. Not fair I know, but you will be unfair to yourself if you waste time debating this rather than trying your best.

6) Many 'seasoned' going abroad folks still spend too much time debating online, or hopping from one foreign place to another looking for girls. This is NOT a sign of success, neither it is a sign of happiness and contentment.

Caveat emptor for anyone's taking the road less taken.

For me, I will take my chance.

I basically disagree with everything:
1. Men have to name and understand their enemy which is feminism.
2. You say going abroad makes no financial sense for most guys, so you say they must stay home and work and become bitter or drop their standards to some repulsive granny - these aren't options for a sane life!
4. Women are the same as ameri-bitches only in other countries where the Police say "how high" when she says "jump." Go to Russia where Police will hang up on her and see if Russian women respect men (although, divorce is even higher there).
5. There is a best place for men - out of feminist countries.
6. It's better than living like a whipped dog with some AW.

Here, Here

I couldn't agree more Polya though I will say the constant babbling about feminism is now completely uninteresting to me. Go to country where feminism has not gained a foothold, find a nice girl, marry her. Now if you return to the US make sure you married a woman that is mentally strong and agrees with her roll as the nurturer of the family.

You should know all that before you put a ring on it, otherwise you're a dumbie.

[romparoo]

Hi romparoo,

Good first post!

Thanks xiongmao

Yeah, it's expensive to find a wife from another country and many men are broke. Heck, most of my dating site's male members can't afford $29.99 to join Blossoms, let alone the funds to go live in Thailand for a year or more.

Men who can't even afford $30 bucks have more serious issues to address; getting a beautiful foreign wive is most likely not one of them. Heck, I will pay $100 if there is a real legit website without all the nonsense and scammers.

It's funny but one of my Chinese women I met told me people are the same all over the world. There are some nice women around though, and only one of my Chinese gf's has had the money spending gene - the rest were pretty frugal with my money.

This is a good sign she is serious with the possibility of having a future together. It's a common sense people choose to ignore.

Yeah, I've found out race matters. Although sometimes it's just more a case of women liking men who are different to them. Chinese girls are crazy about white skin though.

Yes, you are right. It happens both ways. I also find caucasian women more attractive. I don't hold anyone against their personal choice, and I am not bitter about Asian men not getting things 'easy'. Natural selection has its way and I am happy to play along.

I think I need to go to Malaysia - my brother just went there and now I'm seeing dozens of very pretty Malaysian Chinese girls on my Facebook!

Highly recommended. It's not too politically correct to say this, but the Chinese population in Malaysia/Singapore has a more diverse genetic diversity due to historical and demographic reasons, which also mean prettier face. And many of us are brought up semi-western. We actually know a lot about you western folks. Also, the food is second to none.

As to my own mission to find an Asian wife, well I tried the "mail order bride" route (by this I mean finding a girl on a dating site, going to visit her, marrying her if she was good enough). Well that didn't work for me, I'm too picky and marriage is too big a decision to rush.

The best way is to make some local friends, be part of the community, and the rest will take care of itself.

So now it's the living in Asia option. I've worked my ass off for 5 years and have enough cash to live on for years. Not many guys will be able to do this but my huge advantage (apart from my work ethic and refusal to buy consumer iCrap) is that I've not been married before so I don't have an existing AW or kids to drain my wallet. But if you can scrape together the cash then I highly recommend this option for finding a wife.

5 years seems a bit too short to make some serious money, unless you decide to spend the rest of your life in a foreign land where your advantage is a high exchange rate. This is not for the faint hearted. If things go wrong and you want to return and jump start your career again, you'll be having a real hard time.

[romparoo]

Good first post!

Just to add my 2 cents, along with what you said, that's why I believe the ideal setup is to make money in a Western country, and spend 1-3 months living abroad each year. Then when you're in your 50's, you can move abroad for good which is right around when you're able to get a retirement visa and you should have enough money saved up by then.

I agree that in any other way you're giving up something, which for most is earning potential unless you can find a really good job overseas or you have some kind of internet business that is profitable.

Anyhow, it is possible to travel abroad for 1-3 months each year all while saving for your future so as long as you don't get married in the West or have any kids.

That's my strategy actually
Only issue is, it is not that easy to live 1 month abroad, let alone 3 months. I'm not referring to financial contraint here. If you're successful career wise, but not to the level of semi-retirement, chances are you have big responsibilities at your company and you can't go missing for one whole month straight. That troubles me a bit. If you have a good suggestion or alternative, please share

[romparoo]

Interesting. But I passionately disagree on one point only -- women are NOT exactly the same everywhere. When I'm in NYC doing what I love (theatre) -- I meet more women than I can handle -- good looking young actress /model/dancer chicks too. When I'm in PODUNK KY -- i get nothing. and by the way -- the women here are more cliquey than NYC. and also NYC has a million more single ladies than men. If you are involved with something that helps you meet people -- succeed at it -- you will find a good woman. You're more likely to find a geeky intelligent yet attractive women in NY than in the sticks. Just my opinion. and you do have to avoid the sexx and the city types -- but with practice you can. - In podunk where I am 75% of the year -- they want a guy that works at jiffy lube - big muscles - drinks beer - attends nascar and watches sports 24/7 and has $$$$$$$$.

I think what I mean is, women being women, are the same anywhere. Culturally, even within the context of different towns in the same country, there are many different variations. That sort of makes women interesting I think we can all agree that we want a woman with feminine soul in a woman's body; not the feminist edition.

Btw, many parts of Australia look like Podunk.

[romparoo]

I basically disagree with everything:
1. Men have to name and understand their enemy which is feminism.

I always appreciate the diversity of opinions, but like dj said, I am not into constant babbling, because in doing so I will become my biggest enemy. While at the same time, a woman somewhere at some time might just be waiting for me, but I am not moving closer because I made a mental prison for myself.

2. You say going abroad makes no financial sense for most guys, so you say they must stay home and work and become bitter or drop their standards to some repulsive granny - these aren't options for a sane life!

I gonna go abroad mate. Just that for most people, it's a choice. Money or honey. Most people can't have both. Unless you're already rich, and young.

5. There is a best place for men - out of feminist countries.

Feminism is not a stand alone thing. The reason it is prevalent in anglosphere, is that most anglophone countries have great welfare and economic opportunities. Feminist ideas are almost everywhere, just that in some countries it cannot stand on its own. An analogy is, fire cannot burn without oxygen.

[Andrewww]

Good first post!

Just to add my 2 cents, along with what you said, that's why I believe the ideal setup is to make money in a Western country, and spend 1-3 months living abroad each year. Then when you're in your 50's, you can move abroad for good which is right around when you're able to get a retirement visa and you should have enough money saved up by then.

I agree that in any other way you're giving up something, which for most is earning potential unless you can find a really good job overseas or you have some kind of internet business that is profitable.

Anyhow, it is possible to travel abroad for 1-3 months each year all while saving for your future so as long as you don't get married in the West or have any kids.

No, the ideal situation is finding a well paying job abroad. It's the only situation that will make you happy. That's easier said than done so you should have enough cash to live unemployed for 12 months and a back-up at home: don't sell your house just yet.