22 Ways Winston Failed to Understand Asian Culture

[momopi]

Definitely Taiwanese men are passive. They are not just humble, meek, and timid, but they also constantly bow and apologize, saying "bu hau isee" even when it's not necessary. No one does that in the West, it's not normal. I don't do that. It's kind of gay. But sometimes I will do it half-heartedly just to fit.

To apologize in that context is to express concern for another and is not an admission of fault. When I say "my apologies, blah blah" what I mean is I express concer for your inconvenience. It does not mean that I am at fault or that I would take responsibility. These are very basic etiquette, like using the cash tray instead of handing the money directly, giving or accepting business cards with both hands, Chinese "ke qi", Iranian/Persian "Taarof", Japanese "keigo", and so on.

Read:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taarof

Because I'm asking you how to conquer Murphy's Law or destiny or bad luck or jinxes, etc. Surface solutions such as "getting out more" etc. are merely cliches and don't change destiny or Murphy's Law. I'm a fighter, going against fate and invisible forces, which seem to work against me and my desires/wishes. The question is: What can you do against that? That's what I've been asking you.

Your post from 2009:
viewtopic.php?p=14229&highlight=momopi+zen#14229

Also, they do not meet a man and automatically put them in the "dating" or "friends category". They put ALL men they meet into the friends category first, and then evaluate them from there
<snip>
Nevertheless, to be successful in different countries, one has to learn to ADAPT.
<snip>
They use a meritocracy system in evaluating others. Anyhow, this allows you to create a good rapport or good mood and energy with them. Once that develops they get closer to you by online chat over months and eventually the dates come naturally.

If you think every month is precious to you, then consider how many months you've spent in TW since you wrote the above post in 2009, and how many of those months did you invest in expanding your social life in Taiwan. Look to your own advise above and learn to adapt. If not, then cut your losses and get on a plane to China.

[celery2010]

Here are some more possible looks for you:

[celery2010]

This picture shows that even Willam Hung can improve his looks:



I recommend this look for you. It better matches your personality.



winston, please reply to the posts on page 2 as well. There's some good recommendations for you there.

[celery2010]

Where is "Dulan" in Taiwan ??

Dulan is very close to Taitung, on the SE coast. It is a town on the beach full of Taiwanese artists, dropouts, musicians, "hippies"- you name it. It is very beautiful there and i met a ton of people there. It is also very friendly there and the people are very laid-back-- the complete opposite of what Winston calls "cold, unfeeling, stressful, etc". However it is really small and not that huge a scene.

But Taiwan is a very small place. Easily a good place to visit for the weekend.

BTW- i recommend the east coast of Taiwan over the west coast. It is far more pristine AND the people are MUCH friendlier. On the east coast, the bus driver would start conversations with me.

[celery2010]

You're forgetting something. I'm a tourist in Taiwan. I'm not living or settling here. And I didn't grow up here. Those geeky ugly Taiwanese guys with hot/cute girls grew up here and have a circle of friends they grew up with in school - their clique, so to speak. They most likely met their girlfriends from those circles that they grew up with. That's not something you can just conjure up out of nowhere. Duh. It takes an entire childhood to cultivate that. I don't have that advantage. It's not something a tourist can just come here and have. Duh. Why did you fail to consider that? Why is your view so narrow?

You're wrong here. Let me give you some examples:

1. Davao, PI
In April of this year 2012, i was in Davao, in the Philippines, as a tourist. On a Monday night, i went out to a place called Matina Town Square. It is a place with a group of 7 or 8 bars together. (open-air) They had a bunch of cover bands playing. I was alone and sat amongst the tables with a beer and watched the bands. After about 20 minutes, i got bored. I walked towards the back where there were some people hanging out. I walked by and heard two Philippino guys talking in English. I asked them a question about the local nightlife, whether there were better places to go on a Monday night.

We got to talking and they invited me over to their table. As it turns out, they work for the call center industry, so that's why their English was so good. The guy's girlfriend instantly takes an interest in me and keeps telling me how many women she can introduce me to. She told me that she had a huge social network of people and knew of at least 5-10 girls off the top of her head that she could introduce me to, if i wanted to date them. However it was too bad, since i was leaving Davao in 2 days, but if i stayed, she probably could have introduced me to something like 15-20 girls.

2. Nanning, China
In March of this year, I was taking the bus from Hanoi to Nanning, China. While at the China/Vietnam border, they make us switch buses and we end up waiting for an hour for the other bus to arrive. While waiting, i befriend a Vietnamese guy who lives in Nanning. Upon arrival, he assists me in asking about the cheapest way to get to Shenzhen. He asks where I am staying. I tell him that i hadn't decided yet and will try calling up a few hotels/hostels. He says why don't you just stay over with us?

I meet his girlfriend (chinese) and she is very friendly. The next day, she starts mentioning that she knows a ton of local girls that would be interested in dating. She probably could have introduced me to at least 5-10 girls.

3. Guangzhou, China
I was staying in a hostel in Guangzhou around Halloween time. The girl at the reception tells me that a big party will be held in a few days on Halloween night. There will be lots of local students there including many who speak English. Over 40 young college girls show up. Oddly enough, there were NO guys!! I end up dancing with a girl and in the middle, i end up leaving to dance with a hotter girl. She didn't react negatively- girls in China don't find this kind of behavior unusual. I later meet and get to know 5-10 girls, get their phone numbers and they invite me to another event that is happening the following week that is through their university. I probably could have met 50++ girls if i had stayed in Guangzhou.


4. Kaohshiung, Taiwan.
I end up hanging out with a coed group through i guy i met elsewhere in Taiwan. We end up hanging out at one of the trendiest cafes in Kaohshiung, there are a lot of attractive girls there. They help explain all the different teas that are popular at cafes in Taiwan. Two of the girls i met express an interest in improving their English.

5. Bangalore, India
While attending a New Year's Eve party in Bangalore, I meet an Indian-American guy who was visiting for the weekend from Mumbai. He ends up introducing me to a ton of his friends including a ton of cute girls. We also end up attending an "after-party" where people were still hanging out at 5am. He even invites me to visit him up in Mumbai, which i do and have a great time in Mumbai as well.

This is why it's important to get to know other ABC's, they are usually friendly and will introduce you to their friends, which usually includes some hot girls.


6. Kuala Lumpur/Bangkok
While staying at a hostel in Kuala Lumpur, i meet 2 Thai girls. They are both very nice and give me their number and ask me to call them when i get to Thailand. After a few days in Bangkok, i call one of the girls and she invites me to hang out with her friends. I meet at least 5 different Thai girls, all of whom were friendly and knew of parties and social events happening all over town. I could have easily met 20++ girls through them.

7. Chengdu, China
Hang out at the local "expat" bar, where i meet a Taiwanese-American guy. By meeting him, i get access to a group of people at the bar. It seems like everyone knows everyone else, lots of regulars. I work my way over to a drop-dead gorgeous girl who is very friendly to me, gives me her number and invites me to hang out (she needs assistance in English).


Remember, all of these situations happened WHILE I WAS TRAVELLING, not living there. If i was living there, i could have met many more people, it's easy.

PS- If you want a place where a more Americanized Asian would feel comfortable, try Hong Kong, Singapore, Japan/Korea or even Hawaii/Los Angeles/Sydney

1. Do you have any male Taiwanese friends? (Female friends would be ok too.)

Yes, I have one. But he never introduces me to any girls. He is nice but timid and does not approach girls. No one does here. It's taboo. The only guy I've seen that does it is Rock, but even he feels shy at times.

Wrong. I meant that he would introduce you to girls he knows, not cold approaches, although a more outgoing preferably female friend could help you with cold approaches in a place like a café or bar (not on the street).


At the very least, a good friend can let you know where events are taking place that lots of attractive young girls will be, like parties, etc. YOU WILL HAVE TO SHOW UP, then it's up to you to make a love connection.

Just wanted to reiterate how easy it is to meet people in Asia as (an asian) foreigner. I think this post shows how much better Winston could be doing.

However, as posted above, Winston needs to make some changes before this kind of "luck" can also happen for him.