How to detect the good ones (regardless of country)

[ILoveBlackAmericanWomen]

You know from her vibes, eyes which are the window to the soul, voice, actions, etc. You have to spend time with her and trust your gut instinct. Or at least watch what she does, how she acts, how considerate she is, etc.

This is common sense.

But it depends on your situation. You need to give more data or examples of what you are seeking.

Generally, good girls who are serious about you will:

- Be considerate of your needs and feelings.
- Treat you good.
- Care more about spending time with you and just being together, than what you do or where you go.
- Be happy to walk in the park with you to talk and get to know you.
- Not push you to give them money or gifts.
- Have the ability to feel shame.
- Will keep promises and commitments.
- Will respond to your messages in a timely manner, and if not, will apologize at least for the delay.
- Will be glad to cook for you.
- Will try to give you a massage if you are sore or have a headache.
- Will look happy around you, if she really likes you that is, not irritated or dissatisfied.

Another important thing to consider is compatibility and synergy.

Generally, if someone makes you feel stronger and more empowered, and adds to your personal energy, then they are compatible with you and your relationship will be mutually beneficial. But if they are emotionally draining, argumentative, and make you feel weaker or bad about yourself, then they are bad for you and will serve as nothing more than a parasite or energy vampire. You should eject them. This applies to both friendships and relationships. So you got to be selective in this area, based on whether there is synergy and beneficial energy in your relationship or not.

Yep this is how.

[NorthAmericanguy]

Thanks for that link, I'll check it out.

I think there's too much negativity here. The negativity is justified but there's not enough emphasis on solutions (apart from going to another country - which is good, but not all of us can do that). I've always been of the opinion that there's usually a solution to everything. There's always a way to figure something out, it just takes some thinking.

I believe that you can tell if a woman is good or not. They're not that mysterious, the only thing that makes it seem that way is the male sex drive (p***y has no power, by the way, it's the manipulation of the male sex drive that does it). There's always a way to tell, and there's always something you can do as a test. You have to be clever, and make the tests as harsh as necessary. One test won't do it, you have to test her many times for different things (qualities, attributes, traits).

For example, I'd never have sex with a girl without a condom unless I was as close to 100% as possible in knowing that I wasn't going to get her pregnant. This means that I would go with her to the chemist and buy a box of pills (the pill, whatever the official name is), and I'd read the instructions, get her to read them, and show me that she understands them, and then I'd take some and keep them at home, I'd also keep some with me at all times (in my wallet), I'd get her to keep some with her at all times (and I'd ask her to show me that she still has them from time to time), and some at her place (which I'd also want to check). So there would be no reason ever to say that there's none available. Then, whenever she needs to take one, I'd need to watch her take it. Then, I'd get her a pregnancy testing kit (and one for me to keep at home for her) and get her to do that any time I ask her to, just to be on the super safe side. The test would be if she's completely ok with all of that (as opposed to saying "what, don't you trust me?" - that would be a fail).

A test like that would tell me a lot about her.

If you make a list of the top 10 qualities that you want in a girl, I'm sure intelligent minds can devise ways to test for those qualities, and ways of detecting their presence or absence. I don't know why the general opinion seems to be that you can't tell or test. Of course you can.

I see what you're trying to get at, it's like when you're looking to hire a person, you conduct an interview and ask a bunch of questions.

Well, this is my list:

• She must not drink or use drugs (A glass of wine over dinner is ok.)
• She must be on good terms with her family and have grown up with a good father.
• She must have decent friends. No friends who have drug issues or party every weekend.
• Preferably you want a woman in age range of 18-25. Older women are not malleable and they come with baggage.
• Her mom must be a good woman! For example (other then reasons of tragedy), if her mom is in her 3rd marriage, don't even think twice about courting her daughter.
• Learn about her views on men as she will gladly tell you because women have nothing to loose when they speak badly about men or proclaim that they're a feminist.
• Find out if she was ever sexually assaulted, if so, leave her as they are emotionally damaged and that's not your job to fix it.
• Geographical location is also a factor as city girls tend to be much 'faster' and mercenary where as women from the countryside tend to operate much 'slower' and are more gentle and sweet in nature.


So basically, go into any countryside of any country and find a young woman who comes from a good family and that should put you in the best range possible of landing a decent woman.

[ILoveBlackAmericanWomen]

Thanks for that link, I'll check it out.

I think there's too much negativity here. The negativity is justified but there's not enough emphasis on solutions (apart from going to another country - which is good, but not all of us can do that). I've always been of the opinion that there's usually a solution to everything. There's always a way to figure something out, it just takes some thinking.

very true.

[jamesbond]

Well, this is my list:

• She must not drink or use drugs (A glass of wine over dinner is ok.)
• She must be on good terms with her family and have grown up with a good father.
• She must have decent friends. No friends who have drug issues or party every weekend.
• Preferably you want a woman in age range of 18-25. Older women are not malleable and they come with baggage.
• Her mom must be a good woman! For example (other then reasons of tragedy), if her mom is in her 3rd marriage, don't even think twice about courting her daughter.
• Learn about her views on men as she will gladly tell you because women have nothing to loose when they speak badly about men or proclaim that they're a feminist.
• Find out if she was ever sexually assaulted, if so, leave her as they are emotionally damaged and that's not your job to fix it.
• Geographical location is also a factor as city girls tend to be much "faster" and more experienced where as women from the countryside as more slower and less experienced.

So basically, go into any countryside of any country and find a young woman who comes from a good family and that should put you in the best range possible of landing a decent woman.

This is a good list. I would add avoid women with tattoos and body piercings. I agree about sticking with women between 18 to 25. I might go up to age 30 but that's it. (I prefer 21 to 26).

Don't get involved with women who have been married before! Also, NEVER date women with kids, avoid these women like the plague!

[NorthAmericanguy]

Well, this is my list:

• She must not drink or use drugs (A glass of wine over dinner is ok.)
• She must be on good terms with her family and have grown up with a good father.
• She must have decent friends. No friends who have drug issues or party every weekend.
• Preferably you want a woman in age range of 18-25. Older women are not malleable and they come with baggage.
• Her mom must be a good woman! For example (other then reasons of tragedy), if her mom is in her 3rd marriage, don't even think twice about courting her daughter.
• Learn about her views on men as she will gladly tell you because women have nothing to loose when they speak badly about men or proclaim that they're a feminist.
• Find out if she was ever sexually assaulted, if so, leave her as they are emotionally damaged and that's not your job to fix it.
• Geographical location is also a factor as city girls tend to be much "faster" and more experienced where as women from the countryside as more slower and less experienced.

So basically, go into any countryside of any country and find a young woman who comes from a good family and that should put you in the best range possible of landing a decent woman.

This is a good list. I would add avoid women with tattoos and body piercings. I agree about sticking with women between 18 to 25. I might go up to age 30 but that's it. (I prefer 21 to 26).

Don't get involved with women who have been married before! Also, NEVER date women with kids, avoid these women like the plague!

^^+1 Yes, that tattoos, and I forgot smoking.

[C.J.]

You need to sit down and think about what you want from someone. Once you interact with someone, you need to weigh whether or not they satisfy your needs and if they don't, dump them. Good people will satisfy your needs, bad people won't. Simple right?

[pete98146]

You've missed the point on a lot of what I've said. Actually, practically all of it. I'm hoping that this tendency isn't the norm on this forum. Surely there must be quite a few people around here who understand what I'm getting at.

Winston touched on quite a few good points but since I've been in your shoes looking for the exact same traits, I'll take it a step farther. IMHO, you really want to dig deep and analyze her upbringing. Are her parents married? If so, how long have they been married? Have their parents ever divorced? Have their siblings divorced? What type of job does her father do? How long has he worked there? Does your potential girl of interest go to college? Did she graduate or did she drop out? If she graduated, what was her major and or GPA? Is she smart?

Was she brough up religiously? Does she go to church? Does she smoke or drink? Is she a virgin? How many boyfriends has seen had in her life? If you are chatting to her via computer does she show up on time? Does she ask you for money? is she childish and overly jealous?

Many of the young guys would consider this indepth probe overkill. WRONG! If all goes well, this is your future wife. If you don't get it right, she'll soon be your ex-wife. So you better get one that gives you positive signs on MOST of these questions above. You can afford to be a PRUDE. I know I was and still am. But as a single American male, you are in demand and you deserve to get absolutely the top drawer woman if she's coming from a third world country.

Be patient and don't settle until you get the best woman your country of interest can offer.
Too many guys end up with the cute girl that gives them attention but they fail to due their due dilligence. Shame on them. They are the ones that get screwed over in the end because they weren't careful enough when selecting.

[djfourmoney]

I hate to burst your bubble, but there's no way to tell for sure. You won't know she's used you until your married and back in your country, and she's living in your house while you are in your mom's spare room.

What? You don't have a good BS meter either. Especially if you have a story of woe to tell. This is often the case with White men, you have been neutered and don't know it yet. You don't ask tough questions because you fear your p***y supply being cut off.

I have always made it clear they are not the only game in town. Of course I don't meet stupid women, in fact I meet quite intelligent women usually with degrees.

This is also a another form of fear mongering, the fear of failure. The fear that every penny you have earned (however meager it is...) will be taken by force via the Government's court system and given to a cunning woman.

There is no bubble to burst, just not using the tools given to you to use on a woman.

[djfourmoney]

You've missed the point on a lot of what I've said. Actually, practically all of it. I'm hoping that this tendency isn't the norm on this forum. Surely there must be quite a few people around here who understand what I'm getting at.

Winston touched on quite a few good points but since I've been in your shoes looking for the exact same traits, I'll take it a step farther. IMHO, you really want to dig deep and analyze her upbringing. Are her parents married? If so, how long have they been married? Have their parents ever divorced? Have their siblings divorced? What type of job does her father do? How long has he worked there? Does your potential girl of interest go to college? Did she graduate or did she drop out? If she graduated, what was her major and or GPA? Is she smart?

Was she brough up religiously? Does she go to church? Does she smoke or drink? Is she a virgin? How many boyfriends has seen had in her life? If you are chatting to her via computer does she show up on time? Does she ask you for money? is she childish and overly jealous?

Many of the young guys would consider this indepth probe overkill. WRONG! If all goes well, this is your future wife. If you don't get it right, she'll soon be your ex-wife. So you better get one that gives you positive signs on MOST of these questions above. You can afford to be a PRUDE. I know I was and still am. But as a single American male, you are in demand and you deserve to get absolutely the top drawer woman if she's coming from a third world country.

Be patient and don't settle until you get the best woman your country of interest can offer.
Too many guys end up with the cute girl that gives them attention but they fail to due their due dilligence. Shame on them. They are the ones that get screwed over in the end because they weren't careful enough when selecting.

Right and I'll add something very important that Mark @EDC bring up often, being your wife's hero.

Every woman has insecurities, we'll call those insecurities "Dragons". You are the Dragon Slayer... You slay those Dragons and she'll be yours for ever. Don't confuse this with monetary accomplishments, you better have agreed to a standard of living before you even asked her to marry you...

Anna (Mark's wife) has talked about this often. She believed she would be like the majority of Ukrainian women, she would have a series of boyfriends until her mid-20's where she would pick one of these series of men to have a child with. So she basically thought she would have a typical life of a single woman in Ukraine.

She wanted something 180 to that, no local men offered it to her, so the one and only time she went to a AFA social, she met Mark who was on his first and only trip to Ukraine. You can call it luck if you want, but luck is often times; Preparedness + Opportunity = Luck

Like I said, you're less likely to run into this BS overseas. If we were talking about Western women especially those coming from Anglo Saxon dominated countries this is a problem you need address like a Navy Seal. That's not to say these women don't exist in former Eastern Bloc countries, SEA or South America, they exist but easier to spot they are not the majority, the minority in all cases....

I am of the mindset of Eduard who believes the better hunting grounds is Russia and NOT Ukraine strictly because the Western Bride Tour companies are just not going there anymore. Not like they were in the 90's and early 2000's anyway.

Ukraine is easier because 90 day Visas are obtained at the airport at entry. Russia still requires advanced notice and cost $95.

Anyway, I say really if you have to ask questions like this... You should seek out a marriage counselor before you get married, which is actually a good idea for ANYBODY/COUPLE.

[Johnny1975]

You've missed the point on a lot of what I've said. Actually, practically all of it. I'm hoping that this tendency isn't the norm on this forum. Surely there must be quite a few people around here who understand what I'm getting at.

Winston touched on quite a few good points but since I've been in your shoes looking for the exact same traits, I'll take it a step farther. IMHO, you really want to dig deep and analyze her upbringing. Are her parents married? If so, how long have they been married? Have their parents ever divorced? Have their siblings divorced? What type of job does her father do? How long has he worked there? Does your potential girl of interest go to college? Did she graduate or did she drop out? If she graduated, what was her major and or GPA? Is she smart?

Was she brough up religiously? Does she go to church? Does she smoke or drink? Is she a virgin? How many boyfriends has seen had in her life? If you are chatting to her via computer does she show up on time? Does she ask you for money? is she childish and overly jealous?

Many of the young guys would consider this indepth probe overkill. WRONG! If all goes well, this is your future wife. If you don't get it right, she'll soon be your ex-wife. So you better get one that gives you positive signs on MOST of these questions above. You can afford to be a PRUDE. I know I was and still am. But as a single American male, you are in demand and you deserve to get absolutely the top drawer woman if she's coming from a third world country.

Be patient and don't settle until you get the best woman your country of interest can offer.
Too many guys end up with the cute girl that gives them attention but they fail to due their due dilligence. Shame on them. They are the ones that get screwed over in the end because they weren't careful enough when selecting.

Yes, I know Winston touched on some very good points. I wasn't addressing Winston, my post was addressed at someone else.

I agree with most of your suggestions, especially about her upbringing. I think it's important to be thorough, but you have to bear in mind that people aren't perfect. For example, I wouldn't want to go with a girl who drinks a hell of a lot and does stupid things, and if I found out that she used to do that, I would be a bit concerned that she might have a tendency / predisposition to maybe do it again. But, if overall I get the sense that she has changed and wouldn't go back to that, then there's no problem.

People have a habit of going from one extreme to another. Feminism itself is an extreme response to how things used to be. But MGTOW and that kind of thinking is also an extreme. I always try to avoid extreme responses, and I try to stay sensible and fairly realistic. For example, although I agree with the vast majority of stuff that is said about western women, I don't buy into the idea that it's not worth bothering with them. My approach is to be picky, but also flexible, and maybe even forgiving, at least to a point, considering that women themselves are victims of social engineering. Deep down, they're all mostly good people, it's just the outer crust that is corrupt. That's not to say that I'd settle for low quality, it just means that you have to be realistic. Realistic, and picky at the same time. Balance. Not to mention the fact that foreign girls can also have their issues.

I have a list of qualities / attributes / traits / compatibility factors (which I'm still working on) that I'm looking for. It's a huge list, but I'm sure if I break it down, it can be summed up as a shorter list, and that's what I want to do. But the point of that list isn't for a girl to have to tick every single box, it's just a way of making an assessment, and then asking myself if I'm willing to compromise a bit on a few things.

[terminator]

I think I'm ok at reading people, but I have a tendancy to want to see the best rather than the worst. But for years I've been getting better.

Where I work (volunteer) there's a woman who I've always considered polite, and generally nice, but there's something about her that I can't quite put my finger on. For example, if you say something humorous, she'll get it, but she won't laugh. Instead she'll acknowledge what you said but then go on and continue the conversation as if you didn't make a joke. I find that very odd.

And recently, we were having a conversation about marriage. I was saying that there's no benefit in it, and she (she's married) was saying that it can be nice to be married. Anyway as the conversation / lighthearted debate went on, she asked me if I've ever been in a long term you know what (I hate saying the word), and I knew that she was asking this as a way to say that I don't know what I'm talking about. She was very nice about it, but I could sense where she was going. So I basically asked her if that's where she's going with it, and then the conversation continued but I think I created a slightly negative vibe for her, although she remained polite.

The next time I saw her, she said that she's sorry if there was any misunderstanding or something like that, and then she apologised if she had offended me. She didn't offend me, and I said that I can't think of anything she said that offended me. Then she did something weird. She looked me right in the eye, with a smile, and said (in an "alright, alright, there's no need to be like that" kind of tone) "I'm only asking". Is it me or does that sound weird? Her reaction just doesn't fit what I said. I answered her question, I didn't say anything to warrant that response. In fact, she should have been glad to hear that there wasn't a problem. I think what happened was that she was trying to do the typical girly thing of creating a situation where everyone is lovey dovey again, the way girls make up (usually in a fake way, just to keep the peace), and I interrupted that process by pointing out that there wasn't a problem to begin with. The truth is that yes we had a disagreement, and a slightly negative vibe, maybe, just for a moment, but she was blowing it out of proportion. Males don't behave this way. We sort things out almost instantly, or ignore them if they're no big deal. In fact, we respect disagreements and welcome debates and can handle them. The more I think about it, the more I think that she isn't very good at human interactions, unless it's on her terms. I don't think she can handle disagreements. She has that vibe about her. Very friendly in general, and quite nice, but I can sense something else.

Another example (same woman) is yesterday, when I was talking to a guy there (we get along well despite barely knowing each other, and it's almost an entirely a female environment), I was saying that if there's nothing much for me to do, then I should maybe just go and come back another day. Suddenly she pops her head out of a backroom and says "what's that?" (like, what are you two talking about?) and, while I decide to say nothing, he tells her what we're talking about. I considered it quite rude for her to stick her nose in. I felt like she was asking because she was uncomfortable with 2 guys in a usually female environment getting friendly and chatty. It didn't seem genuine for her to ask.

Yet another example. Again, same woman. Some time ago, I popped in and asked where the manager was. I've been working there longer than anybody else by far, except the manager herself. Anyway she says she's at the back and I can wait until she comes back. How rude, I thought. She knows I've been working there much longer than her, and instead of saying yeah she's at the back, go ahead and talk to her if that's what you want, she asks me to wait. I would never do that.



So yes I'm quite good at noticing things, although I don't always know what it is that I'm noticing, but I know that it's odd.

I've been thinking lately that from now on, I'll never ask for a girl's number. Instead, I'll give her mine. That way, if I was to call, and she doesn't pick up, I don't have to wonder why. It may seem like having a number puts you in control, but really it doesn't. It's better to give her yours, then forget about it, and if she calls, it's a nice surprise, plus you'll know that she's interested, and you'll also know that she's the type to do her bit. And if she doesn't, there's nothing you can do, so there's nothing to think about, and it's easy to move on. So I think I'll use this as a test.

Same goes for first meeting. I think it should be 1 hour (just drinks, no sex), then part company. If she's genuinely interested, she want to meet again, then there can be sex, and then it will most likely be better anyway as she'll already be comfortable (having already met). I think I'll use that as a test too.

You know all these "techniques" aren't going to help you much with AW - who are really beyond help and need a flood to kill them like in Noah's time!

[Johnny1975]

That's just as well because I live in London.

[pete98146]

You've missed the point on a lot of what I've said. Actually, practically all of it. I'm hoping that this tendency isn't the norm on this forum. Surely there must be quite a few people around here who understand what I'm getting at.

Winston touched on quite a few good points but since I've been in your shoes looking for the exact same traits, I'll take it a step farther. IMHO, you really want to dig deep and analyze her upbringing. Are her parents married? If so, how long have they been married? Have their parents ever divorced? Have their siblings divorced? What type of job does her father do? How long has he worked there? Does your potential girl of interest go to college? Did she graduate or did she drop out? If she graduated, what was her major and or GPA? Is she smart?

Was she brough up religiously? Does she go to church? Does she smoke or drink? Is she a virgin? How many boyfriends has seen had in her life? If you are chatting to her via computer does she show up on time? Does she ask you for money? is she childish and overly jealous?

Many of the young guys would consider this indepth probe overkill. WRONG! If all goes well, this is your future wife. If you don't get it right, she'll soon be your ex-wife. So you better get one that gives you positive signs on MOST of these questions above. You can afford to be a PRUDE. I know I was and still am. But as a single American male, you are in demand and you deserve to get absolutely the top drawer woman if she's coming from a third world country.

Be patient and don't settle until you get the best woman your country of interest can offer.
Too many guys end up with the cute girl that gives them attention but they fail to due their due dilligence. Shame on them. They are the ones that get screwed over in the end because they weren't careful enough when selecting.

Yes, I know Winston touched on some very good points. I wasn't addressing Winston, my post was addressed at someone else.

I agree with most of your suggestions, especially about her upbringing. I think it's important to be thorough, but you have to bear in mind that people aren't perfect. For example, I wouldn't want to go with a girl who drinks a hell of a lot and does stupid things, and if I found out that she used to do that, I would be a bit concerned that she might have a tendency / predisposition to maybe do it again. But, if overall I get the sense that she has changed and wouldn't go back to that, then there's no problem.

People have a habit of going from one extreme to another. Feminism itself is an extreme response to how things used to be. But MGTOW and that kind of thinking is also an extreme. I always try to avoid extreme responses, and I try to stay sensible and fairly realistic. For example, although I agree with the vast majority of stuff that is said about western women, I don't buy into the idea that it's not worth bothering with them. My approach is to be picky, but also flexible, and maybe even forgiving, at least to a point, considering that women themselves are victims of social engineering. Deep down, they're all mostly good people, it's just the outer crust that is corrupt. That's not to say that I'd settle for low quality, it just means that you have to be realistic. Realistic, and picky at the same time. Balance. Not to mention the fact that foreign girls can also have their issues.

I have a list of qualities / attributes / traits / compatibility factors (which I'm still working on) that I'm looking for. It's a huge list, but I'm sure if I break it down, it can be summed up as a shorter list, and that's what I want to do. But the point of that list isn't for a girl to have to tick every single box, it's just a way of making an assessment, and then asking myself if I'm willing to compromise a bit on a few things.

Yes she doesn't have to tick every single box but make sure she hits most of them. You'd be surprised how many guys use the wrong head to find women. Heck half the talk on this forum is yakking about getting hot girls blah blah. But that's only half the battle. Trick is to get a hot GOOD girl. Big difference!!!!!!!!!

Looks like you got the hang of this and I'm glad you posted this because the more guys read this the more they get educated on how to find that hidden gem.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

You've missed the point on a lot of what I've said. Actually, practically all of it. I'm hoping that this tendency isn't the norm on this forum. Surely there must be quite a few people around here who understand what I'm getting at.

Johnny....did you really say this?

"I believe that you can tell if a woman is good or not."

If so it is hardly any wonder men here do "not understand what you are getting at" because you are a stupid, ignorant moron thinking that any western women can be called "good". Remember. They virtually ALL support and condone perjury, kidnapping, extortion, theft and child abuse. Almost NO eastern european women support these crimes.

[Johnny1975]

Yes she doesn't have to tick every single box but make sure she hits most of them. You'd be surprised how many guys use the wrong head to find women. Heck half the talk on this forum is yakking about getting hot girls blah blah. But that's only half the battle. Trick is to get a hot GOOD girl. Big difference!!!!!!!!!

Looks like you got the hang of this and I'm glad you posted this because the more guys read this the more they get educated on how to find that hidden gem.

Well I've tried to make the list consist only of absolute musts, as much as possible (with a few preferences thrown in). So when it's done, it will be very important for her to tick almost all the boxes. It can be so easy to get lovey dovey with a girl, and fool yourself into believing that she's great, so the list is my way of keeping my head screwed on, and forcing myself to see her as she is, rather than as I would like her to be. It will force me to open my eyes, and then it's up to me to make an informed decision.

I think this topic in itself is extremely important, and I'm surprised that it generally doesn't get discussed. There's so much focus on what to do to get a girl, and no focus on how to choose one. Hopefully I'll finish my list and then I'll post it.